Paid administrative leave - is my teaching career ruined?

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Davidfizix, Mar 2, 2010.

  1. Davidfizix

    Davidfizix Rookie

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    Mar 2, 2010

    A month ago, I was put on paid administrative leave because of some things I said about my students - not allowed to go into details. Is paid administrative leave going to be on my record forever, hence making it very hard to get hired by another school district next year? I WAS teaching German, but had DREAMS of becoming a math teacher and working my way up to an AP Calculus teacher. I simply was NOT teaching the right subject, which contributed to my anger and hence getting put on leave. Is my teaching career ruined because of this? If so, should I end my life once and for all? Even as a grown man (25), I've been crying almost every day because I miss my students and my classroom so much. For as long as I can remember, I've thought about doing NOTHING but teaching! Can't imagine a job in Corporate America or anything. I'd hate to resort to suicide because calculus kicks so much butt, but I don't think I have a choice.
     
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  3. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    You ALWAYS have a choice. Suicide is not the answer. Is paid administrative leave a career killer? I don't think it has to be. What are you doing while on leave? Are you getting help for your anger? Seeing a therapist? Going to professional development at your local service center? I think if the district sees that you are trying to improve your situation then they will likely put you back in the classroom.
     
  4. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    I thought I was remembering correctly, so I went back and checked. Your very first post here also mentioned suicide as a way out for a bad situation in teaching. That was in October.

    No job is worth giving up your life. And no job is worth being miserable. Even if you WANT to be a teacher, that doesn't necessarily mean it's right for you. Maybe you need to do something else. Anything else. You certainly need some kind of help since there are obviously some very serious things going on. Your unhappiness shows in your posts, and it's likely showing in the classroom as well. Kids pick up on the mood of the teacher very readily, even when you think you're hiding it.

    You need to worry about yourself before you worry about your job.
     
  5. WhatchaDoin?

    WhatchaDoin? Comrade

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    I agree with smalltowngal - very good advice!

    I have heard of teachers being hired after they think all is lost (DUI arrests, dismissal, etc.), so anything is possible.

    I know you have struggled with these feelings on previous posts. You had said that you did not click with the therapist. That happens - it's not you. Is it possible to find a new one? You are in a tough time in your life, and asking for help is not asking for too much!!!

    It may sound goofy, but I had a friend tell me during a tough time, when one door shuts, another window opens. I have found this to be true, but it is only something I see after the low period is over.
     
  6. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    Mar 2, 2010

    I had a principal put me on non renewal list. I was forced to resign. I thought my career was over. I thought, who would ever hire me back with this black mark on my record? I absolutely hated the idea of ever having to teach again. My passion was gone. I hated my principal who did this to me. Why did he have to ruin my career because he was having a power trip. I stressed out all summer long and thought over and over again how much I hated myself and my life. Nothing ever seemed to go right with me. Why did he have to target me? I just went on and on. BUT.... things got better. I got hired at another school district in September. I was pink slipped from that job at the end of the year but my new principal saw how capable I was as a teacher. My self esteem started to go back to where it was. Then, I was hired again at another school and my new principal absolutely loves me, and I'm really enjoying my position teaching only math to elementary school kiddos. So, even though things look all gloomy right now, you just have to remember that something will happen, something good.

    If you want to teach math so much, why not go back to school and finish up your degree. Do you have a math degree yet? Or, use this time to observe in math classes. Do some volunteer work. Something to get you out of the house and doing something that you feel you might have a passion for. I know that while working, I'm working on my geology degree. I realized that math and geology/chemistry are my passion and so that what I'm working on. :)
     
  7. gottagoodgig

    gottagoodgig Companion

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    Mar 2, 2010

    No good advice...just good luck. I wish you best and hope life turns around for you!
     
  8. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    I think the first thing that needs to be addressed before you even consider going back into the classroom is to get treatment for your mental health issues. Until you see yourself as the confident, self assured person that you really are, you are going to struggle in any job you take. It's an old cliche....but, right now you are seeing life as the cup half empty. Every time you post here we all encourage you to get help because we all have had these low points in our life, struggled through them, and came out better on the other side. Good luck!
     
  9. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Sorry this happened to you, but I don't think this is the end of your teaching career. I taught special ed for just a yr & the principal chose not to rehire me. The real kicker is that the principal herself didn't return to working at that school either, so I could have just stayed & she would have never seen me again anyway! :mad: But, I viewed it as a blessing in disguise & have since taken classes in speech-language pathology, which I think I'll enjoy a lot more.

    I hate how a teacher's fate is in the hands of a single person...the principal. If it were up to me, there should be a little vote on whether each teacher should be rehired or not w/ of course the majority winning.

    Anyway, take this time while you're on leave to really look into teaching math, which is your dream.

    Again, good luck!
     
  10. CGriswald309B

    CGriswald309B Rookie

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    I agree. I would use this time off to seek some counseling.
     
  11. JoshCHT

    JoshCHT Rookie

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    I agree with the others that you need to seek help with your depression as well. It is not healthy to even consider suicide.

    I'm sure all hope it not lost.

    It is interesting that you are a German and math person. My German teacher in High school got his masters in math and then left to another school to teach math.

    If it helps I want to teach math too but may never get the chance. I've been looking into other ways to use my education.

    The economy/job market is really tough right now. We just have to stay tough through it until things get better. :)
     
  12. wrice

    wrice Habitué

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    Counseling yes. There even are online anger management courses that help you keep an affirming voice and monitor triggers to your negative thougths and give you ways to deal proactively. I think if you can prove that you have done something about your issues, that you have sought help, that you have grown, then I think you could easily be rehired.

    Kids need passionate teachers, and it sounds like you have a lot of heart. You just need to know how to chanel your passions productively. You are needed, wanted, and valuable.
     
  13. bros

    bros Phenom

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    Mar 3, 2010

    Go to a psychologist ASAP. If you don't want to use your insurance, get free mental health assistance from your state

    http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/
     
  14. beatlebug731

    beatlebug731 Comrade

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    Mar 3, 2010

    Suicide is never the answer. You have people that care about YOU that would be devistated if anything ever happened to you, including those of us who are trying to support you online. Things will get better, it sounds like you need to do some soul searching and try to figure out who you are and gain some confidence in yourself. I think that maybe you should try to get in to observe some math classes, maybe try and teach a lesson or two to see if you like it and maybe take a math methods class at the local college. I would take this time to explore different things that you are interested in.

    As above posters have said, I would try to find a counselor or if your not comfortable doing that, find a close friend, someone that you really trust and who can give good advice.
     
  15. sue35

    sue35 Habitué

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    I agree with the others that say you should not be in a classroom now, not math or anything. You need to get your mental health in order or it won't matter what you teach. You owe it to yourself and your students in the future. Don't worry about anything but that.
     
  16. Toak

    Toak Cohort

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    while I don't have any experience with real depression, I've quite an extensive experience with medically induced depression. Engaged in no fewer than a dozen suicide attempts this past year because of a medication I was taking that the doctors refused to consider could possibly be making me depressed. I stopped it on my own after attempting a hanging, a gassing, and stopping on 7 bridges with the intent of jumping off in one night (had been in the hospital for a week and they forced me to take my prescribed dosage rather than the lowered amount I had been taking because I didn't feel so much despair on it). Still don't know why I didn't jump as I was ready too and found a bridge i knew i could jump off of

    Within daysof stopping my medication all suicidal thoughts were gone. And I remember just thinking "wow i almost killed myself and my sadness wasn't even real." You might find out the same thing in another few months. Especially if you get a new job

    Its no fun to live like you are dying. Its more important now than ever to go out and do things that you can enjoy - even if you can't really afford them, you need to try. One day can go a long way
     
  17. indigo-angel

    indigo-angel Companion

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    Its no fun to live like you are dying.

    I absolutely love this quote! Anyway, it is imperative that you seek treatment for your depression. I find it VERY disturbing that since October, you have been writing posts about committing suicide. YOU must know that this is not healthy, and you have been carrying on with this knowledge that you can do harm to yourself. Something is very, very wrong here.
     
  18. SunnyReader

    SunnyReader Companion

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    ...concerned that we never heard back.
     
  19. bros

    bros Phenom

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    Last Activity: Yesterday 06:15 PM
     
  20. Davidfizix

    Davidfizix Rookie

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    Okay everyone, I know it's ironic that I was talking about suicide WHILE teaching and now that I'm no longer teaching I'm STILL thinking about suicide. It's a no-win situation, I guess. Teaching, no matter how bad and stressful it gets, is something that you don't miss until it's over.

     
  21. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    True, but it sure does help put things into perspective when you've gotten some healing and a good long rest.
     
  22. skittleroo

    skittleroo Connoisseur

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    oh hun, I am scared of your thinking. But I do have to say that it is undoubtedly best that you aren't in the classroom right now. I've read your old posts and you simply did not enjoy what you were doing. We all know that teens aren't the easiest people to deal with. But if you don't have a passion for those kids - don't do it.
    However, I don't advise trying to get in with younger kids either. I would be very scared to have you in a classroom of any kind right now.

    Please, please take care of yourself. You problems run much deeper than the wrong teaching assignment.

    god bless you.
     

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