A month ago, I was put on paid administrative leave because of some things I said about my students - not allowed to go into details. Is paid administrative leave going to be on my record forever, hence making it very hard to get hired by another school district next year? I WAS teaching German, but had DREAMS of becoming a math teacher and working my way up to an AP Calculus teacher. I simply was NOT teaching the right subject, which contributed to my anger and hence getting put on leave. Is my teaching career ruined because of this? If so, should I end my life once and for all? Even as a grown man (25), I've been crying almost every day because I miss my students and my classroom so much. For as long as I can remember, I've thought about doing NOTHING but teaching! Can't imagine a job in Corporate America or anything. I'd hate to resort to suicide because calculus kicks so much butt, but I don't think I have a choice.