I'm doing my weekly parent calls. (I have a routine I run and I call each parent once a month at a minimum.) One of my kids got Rocky Mountain fever from a tick bite and was out 2 weeks. This gal HATES math, but has outstanding work ethics. She does the work even when she hates it and came to me before I could go to her asking what she needed to do to catch up. This gal deserved some serious braggging on. I called her mom tonight to brag on her and got a cold shoulder. "You're young lady is GREAT, she's a hard worker no matter what. I'm very impressed with her."........."Ok. Anything else?" GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Sorry folks, just needed to vent.
All I wanted to do was brag on her and I start such calls with "I am Mr Mutt, I am calling to brag on ____ and how good she is doing." It just frustrates the heck out of me (I'm am working hard to hold back my language) when I have a student like this and a parent doesn't want to spend 5 minutes listening to how great their child is in my class. This gal HATES my subject and has to work hard to get it, but we have a good relationship so she will work hard for me. She never tells me "I won't do it." Instead she works hard to get it and doesn't let a VERY serious illness be an excuse to not do the work. Grrrrrrrrrr My school system allows corpral punishment. Can I spank a parent????
It's really sad. You wonder where the girl gets her work ethic and what inspires her. Clearly not Mom.
I had a mom like that during speech Mutt. We had a young girl who was really talented, but you try to mom that, and I quote: "Yes, but she'll just never be as smart as her sister. She's just not intelligent." I wanted to slap her. I walked away instead, which was infinitely less satisfying, but watching her daughter win a first place medal the very next day at her first meet EVER was soooo sweet.
I'm afraid I would have had to say, "but she should never have to compete with her sister," and THEN walk away.
More like...good thing her sister never had to compete against her! ETA: her sister was talented. But also a pain in the a$$! The younger sister is very sweet and humble. The other one was all about me, me, me!
Thank you my friend. This gal will also succeed. I am confident in that and so is she. Your comment is making me think about the big picture which is where I need to be. ....In truth, I'm pretty angry about all this and I need to let it go. This gal will do well, I'm just aggrevated about her mother's response when I am trying to tell her how great her daughter is.
That's why I was calling to brag on her!!!!! She's not great at math, but I don't need to push her. All I have to do is set a goal for her and she will chase it. She will come to me for help when she's not getting it. She will tell me, "I hate math, but I will learn this" I have gifted students who challenge me because they're interested and I love them for it, but she's something different....she does it just because that is what I require. She is willing to WORK and wants to earn something...she takes pride in that. This is something that is different, something that is unusual......something I admire. This is at the heart of why I am upset with this parent. I will let it go, she will do well in my class, and I will have a good relationship with this student. I'm not happy with that...I think she deserves a higher level of recognition but I don't see it happening and it's making me mad. On the other hand, if I weren't this passionate about my students I wouldn't be Mr Mutt and I wouldn't be happy with the job I am doing. Passion is a double edged sword.
I'm sorry to hear that Muttling. I have had my share of "why only 99%?" mentality parents. I'm glad to hear that at least you recognize and appreciate your student's effort since apparently her mother doesn't. And that is quite amazing -- it's not often we come across someone with that strong of a work ethic. Kudos to your student!
HA! I just had a mental picture of this. I needed that good laugh today. It's too bad kids can't get unconditional support from their parents. I'm glad to hear she's at least getting that kind of support from you Mutt! I'd bet money that she'll remember that.
Is the mom NORMALLY like that? I would LOVE to have a teacher call about my kid...but I'll tell you, sometimes I might be in a HUGE arguement with them-or they did something, and if you compliment them at THAT moment... I might be cynical enough to say...yeah yeah! (My ex is a beloved and brilliant physician... and people would gush to me all the time. And at times I would have to hold myself back from... "really? Because at home, he's an a_ _!")
Is it possible that you just called at a really bad moment? Mom was in the middle of a major arguement with the same daughter or with her husband, and simply wasn't in the mood to gush? Could she have been in the middle of doing her taxes, or fighting a losing battle with a stopped up toilet? You've called this house before-- was this a typical reaction from mom? I don't recall you posting anything similar before, but I could be wrong.
Unfortunately many children have to overcome their parents' attitude to education to succeed. This girl sounds as though she is on the right track so I'd be keeping up the very positive reinforcement to her.
Parents don't always make it easy. I have had many conferences where I do all the talking and the parents just sit there. I ask many times if they have any questions or concerns and I get "No". Nothing-nada. I guess that is better than something negative. our assistant principal once told me that he would really like to teach in an orphanage-so as not to have to deal with parents at all!
I've had a hard time contacting this parent in the past, left a few messages with no response or got a similarly disengaged response when I did get ahold of the mom.
I wouldn't say that. It's quite possible trying to make Mom happy is part of what gives her such a strong work ethic. Obviously, it's a challenge. It's also possible there's some genetic component to work ethic. Though I don't blame Muttling for being miffed, it's not a lot of information to go on to make a judgement on how horrible a Mom she is. She did, after all, produce a pretty good daughter. Also, it's possible Mom hears this particular compliment often, maybe extremely often considering how unusual the girl's work ethic is. Even parents sometimes get tired of hearing the same compliment sometimes.* * or so I've heard. Personally, I like all the compliments for my kids. If anything, a teacher might get a "yeah, yeah" reaction from me for certain negatives.
How awful. Sometimes parents are a kid's worst enemy. But here's a topper. One of our teachers was bragging about one of her students to his mother, who just happens to teach another grade at our school. The boy being bragged on was standing with them at the time. When the first teacher told the second teacher how smart her son was was, the second teacher actually said "Really, he is?" right in front of her child. Sheesh.
