Open for Criticism--RESUME & COVER LETTER

Discussion in 'Job Seekers' started by rookieABC123, Mar 14, 2007.

  1. rookieABC123

    rookieABC123 Comrade

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    Mar 14, 2007

    Hi-
    I have posted my resume and cover letter for any who wants to critique it---please. I have read and researched the other postings on this site including looking at other resumes and cover letters you guys have posted and it has really helped me update mine. Thank you in advance for any advice on how to make it better.
    Cover letter:


    MY NAME ADDRESS E-MAIL
    _________________________________________________________


    March 13, 2007

    Mr. SO and SO
    Superintendent
    Some Street
    Some City, PA 44444


    I would love the opportunity to be interviewed for a full time elementary
    or special education teaching position at XYZ School District.


    Dear Mr. So and So,

    I hope my cover letter has caught your eye, because I would like to really impress upon you how much I would love to be a full time teacher at XXXXXX Area. After spending 9 years at home with my four children, I am ready to live out my dream of being a teacher. Being a mom has given me a lot of “life experience” that I know will make me a better educator. It has instilled in me a sense of patience, understanding, and compassion for children deeper than it ever was before.

    XXXXXX Area is my top choice for schools that I would love the opportunity to work for. My reasons are as follows:
    • I’m already a Homebound Instructor for the district. I feel I have represented the school in a very positive and professional manner and I am certain all parents and students that I have worked with would validate that point.
    • I feel very strongly about being a part of my children’s lives as much as possible, and being a teacher at their school would let me achieve this.
    • Because my children attend XXXXX, I know firsthand that the district is made up of determined and dedicated teachers and staff that strive for excellence, and I feel as though I would be an asset that team.

    I feel that my dual certification in Elementary and Special Education gives me the knowledge and skills to handle the challenges that come along with being a teacher. Having such a deeper inderstanding of children, the way they grow, the way they learn, how to handle discipline issues, how to help them when they struggle, are all attributes I already have as a mom and what will make me a better teacher.

    Please except this letter and resume in application for an elementary or special education position at XXXXX District. I definitely welcome the opportunity to further discuss my qualifications with you at anytime. I may be reached at 555-555-5555.


    Sincerely,
    _________________________________________________________

    MY RESUME:


    NAME ADDRESS PHONE#
    _________________________________________________________
    Professional Profile

    My main objective is to obtain a full time teaching position in either Elementary or Special Education. I will bring to the classroom all the wisdom and experience I have with children and I will also strive to be a positive influence in all the students I have the opportunity to teach.
    •Have active certification in Elementary and Special Education. Act 48 requirements are up to date.
    •Knowledgeable in computers both Mac and IBM.

    Education, Honors, and Certifications

    1992-1997 XYZ Univeristy Somewhere, PA
    Bachelor of Science in Education
    •Majors: Elementary Education
    Special Education
    •Major Q.P.A.: 3.5/4.0 scale Overall Q.P.A.: 3.2/4.0
    •Dean’s List-Three Semesters
    •Completed 6 credits in 2007 to fulfill Act 48 requirements.

    Professional Experience

    December 2004-Present XYZ School District
    Homebound Instructor
    •Organize and implement instruction to meet the needs of students who are homebound
    •Design the instruction so that it is consistent with the students I.E.P. goals
    •Prepare and grade lessons, assignments, and tests
    •Provide specially designed instruction techniques to meet the unique needs of the students
    •Instruct student in all subject areas
    •Create Individualized Education Plans
    •Collaborate with students, parents, teachers and administration to ensure a successful transition back

    February 1998-November 1998 Tutorial and Psycho-educational Services
    Therapeutic Staff Support (T.S.S.)
    •Provided one on one behavioral health interventions to a student with ADHD
    •Implemented a behavioral intervention plan for student
    •Provided individualized, supervised, recreation and cultural opportunities
    • Assisted the student in developing age-appropriate social and cultural interaction skills
    •Attended and participated in I.E.P. meetings

    Student Teaching Experience
    Second Grade XYZ School District Some Town, PA
    •Designed and implemented a unit on communities
    Primary Learning Support XYZ School District Some Town, PA
    •Designed and implemented a unit on plants.

    Computer Skills
    Windows XP, Microsoft Office 2003, SiteBuilder, Internet Proficiency
     
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  3. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Mar 14, 2007

    I'm math, so forgive the grammar lapses:

    "XXXXXX Area is my top choice for schools that I would love the opportunity to work for"... isn't that ending a sentence in a preposition, a big no-no?

    I don't like the idea of a list of reasons you want to work there. I think the flow is much better if it's in paragraph form.

    I would omit this: "• I feel very strongly about being a part of my children’s lives as much as possible, and being a teacher at their school would let me achieve this." First, because they're looking for someone to fill their needs, not to fill yours. But also because it might lead them to think that you'll be looking over the shoulders of the teachers of your kids.

    I think your cover letter should include more of what you bring to teaching beyond being a mom. If your principal is a single man, he may not get the nuances that I get from knowing exactly what you mean. How about your homebound tutoring-- can you give me one example of an "aha!!" moment that illustrates why you're a teacher? How does your work at TSS carry over to teaching? Why does that make you a better candidate than a fresh-from-college applicant?
     
  4. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

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    Mar 14, 2007

    Yes to what Alice said. Esp. the part about naming ways you will fill their needs rather than letting them know why they are perfect for you.

    One idea: instead of this:
    I would love the opportunity to be interviewed for a full time elementary
    or special education teaching position at XYZ School District.

    Something like this:
    Looking for someone experienced in XYZ district, plus dual certified in elementary and special ed? Here I am!
     
  5. mincc

    mincc Companion

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    Mar 14, 2007

    Here's my 2 cents!

    I am going to copy and paste and then edit, I hope that is ok!!! I may forget to "red" some things that I change, but hopefully, it will work out and I wont confuse you. :angel:

    March 13, 2007

    Mr. SO and SO, Superintendent
    Put school name here
    Some Street
    Some City, PA 44444

    I would love the opportunity to be interviewed for a full time Elementary or Special Education teaching position at XYZ School District.

    Dear Mr. So and So,

    (Took out some things here)

    I would love to be a full time teacher at XXXXXX Area! After spending 9 years at home with my four children, I am ready to fulfill my dream of becoming a teacher. Being a mom has given me the “life experience” that I know will make me a better educator. Motherhood has instilled in me the utmost of patience, understanding, and compassion for children.

    Made some more here: Also, I am not sure about the bullets.....

    XXXXXX Area is my top choice of schools for the following reasons:

    • I have enjoyed representing the school in a positive and professional manner as a Homebound Instructor for the district; I am certain all parents and students with whom I have worked will agree!

    •Being a teacher at my children's school will allow me another opportunity to be an important part of my chidren's lives. (I AM NOT SURE THIS IS APPROPRIATE THOUGH?)

    • Because my children attend XXXXX, I know firsthand that your district is made up of determined and dedicated teachers and staff who strive for excellence; I am confident I would be an asset to this team.

    My dual certification in Elementary and Special Education gives me the knowledge and skills to handle the challenges that come along with being a teacher. As a mother, I have a deep understanding of the ways in which children learn and grow. I know how to help children when they struggle and I am able to effectively handle discipline issues.

    Please accept my letter and resume in application for an elementary or special education position at XXXXX District. I welcome the opportunity to further discuss my qualifications with you. I may be reached at 555-555-5555.


    Cordially,
    __________________________________________________ _______

    MY RESUME:


    NAME ADDRESS PHONE#
    __________________________________________________ _______
    Professional Profile

    My ( dont think you need main here?) objective is to obtain a full time teaching position in either Elementary or Special Education. I will bring to the classroom all the wisdom and experience I have with children and I will also strive to be a positive influence in the lives of all of the students I have the opportunity to teach.

    •Have active certification in Elementary and Special Education and Act 48 requirements are up to date.
    •Knowledgeable in computers, both Mac and IBM.

    Education, Honors, and Certifications

    1992-1997 XYZ Univeristy Somewhere, PA
    Bachelor of Science in Education
    •Majors: Elementary Education
    Special Education
    •Major Q.P.A.: 3.5/4.0 scale Overall Q.P.A.: 3.2/4.0
    •Dean’s List-Three Semesters
    •Completed 6 credits in 2007 to fulfill Act 48 requirements.

    Professional Experience

    December 2004-Present XYZ School District
    Homebound Instructor
    •Organize and implement instruction to meet the needs of students who are homebound
    •Design the instruction so that it is consistent with the students' I.E.P. goals
    •Prepare and grade lessons, assignments, and tests
    •Provide specially designed instruction techniques to meet the unique needs of the students
    •Instruct students in all subject areas
    •Create Individualized Education Plans
    •Collaborate with students, parents, teachers and administration to ensure a successful transition back to school

    February 1998-November 1998 Tutorial and Psycho-educational Services
    Therapeutic Staff Support (T.S.S.)
    •Provided one on one behavioral health interventions to a student with ADHD
    •Implemented a behavioral intervention plan for student
    •Provided individualized, supervised, recreation and cultural opportunities
    • Assisted the student in developing age-appropriate social and cultural interaction skills
    •Attended and participated in I.E.P. meetings

    Student Teaching Experience
    Second Grade XYZ School District Some Town, PA
    •Designed and implemented a unit on communities
    Primary Learning Support XYZ School District Some Town, PA
    •Designed and implemented a unit on plants

    Computer Skills
    Windows XP, Microsoft Office 2003, SiteBuilder, Internet Proficiency


    Remember, these are just my thoughts!!!!! :)
     
  6. tripletsteacher

    tripletsteacher Companion

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    Mar 14, 2007

    Hi, I was told to try not to use the same verbs when starting each bullet. For example, provide and design are used three times each as starters. Implement is also used quite a bit in your resume. I am also a seven-year stay at home mom trying to get back in to teaching. If you would like to email me directly, I can send my examples of my cover letter and resume.My situation is similar to yours.
     
  7. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    Mar 14, 2007

    How exciting for you! I am sure your experience with your own kids as a mommy will be very helpful to you as a teacher.

    I agree with the others on the cover letter. I liked the idea of rewording the "catchy phrase" at the beginning to say something about your dual certification.

    I will address your resume in Mincc fashion: :)


    NAME ADDRESS PHONE#
    __________________________________________________ _______
    Professional Profile

    My main objective is to obtain a full time teaching position in either Elementary or Special Education where I can use my education and experiences to guide students to be independent thinkers and life-long learners. Or something like that rather than so many uses of first person.
    •Have active certification in Elementary and Special Education. Act 48 requirements are up to date. (I would not put this here)
    •Knowledgeable in computers both Mac and IBM. This could go down at the bottom

    Education, Honors, and Certifications

    1992-1997 XYZ University Somewhere, PA
    Bachelor of Science in Education
    •Majors: Elementary Education
    Special Education
    •Major Q.P.A.: 3.5/4.0 scale Overall Q.P.A.: 3.2/4.0
    •Dean’s List-Three Semesters
    •Completed 6 credits in 2007 to fulfill Act 48 requirements
    Active dual certification in Elementary and Special Education

    Professional Experience
    December 2004-Present XYZ School District
    Homebound Instructor
    •Organize and implement instruction to meet the needs of homebound students
    •Design instruction consistent with the students' I.E.P. goals (reworded and punctuation)
    •Prepare and grade lessons, assignments, and tests (are you grading a lesson or an assignment)
    •Provide specially designed instruction techniques to meet the unique needs of the students
    •Instruct student in all subject areas
    •Create Individualized Education Plans (with a team?)
    •Collaborate with students, parents, teachers and administration to ensure a successful transition back (can you somehow tie this in with when you initially get them? I'm sure there is some collaboration taking place then too. ie. ...successful transition into and out of the homebound program)

    February 1998-November 1998 Tutorial and Psycho-educational Services
    Therapeutic Staff Support (T.S.S.)
    •Provided one on one behavioral health interventions to a student with ADHD ( I think one-on -one might be hyphenated)
    •Implemented a behavioral intervention plan for student
    •Provided individualized, supervised, recreation and cultural opportunities
    • Assisted the student in developing age-appropriate social and cultural interaction skills
    •Attended and participated in I.E.P. meetings (abbreviated here but not above)

    Student Teaching Experience
    Second Grade XYZ School District Some Town, PA
    •Designed and implemented a unit on communities
    Primary Learning Support XYZ School District Some Town, PA
    •Designed and implemented a unit on plants.
    (can you say something about any interaction with the students? I know it was a while back but I think that might be a good thing to mention it. They would probably like to see more about that rather than what the lesson)

    Computer Skills
    Windows XP, Microsoft Office 2003, SiteBuilder, Internet Proficiency

    Just an idea here... you may want to list your computer skills like this

    MS Excel- advanced
    MS PowerPoint- intermediate
    etc.
     
  8. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    Mar 14, 2007

    true

    For some reason I don't like the use of implement. I doesn't sound right when you are talking about designing a lesson and then implementing it.

    Gosh these things are buggers. Resumes are a lot easier to tweek than the darn cover letters.
     
  9. rookieABC123

    rookieABC123 Comrade

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    Mar 15, 2007

    Thank you- Thank you- Thank you, to all of you who took the time to help me with this. It is not one of my stronger points, it's been so long since I have even looked at my resume....but I'm trying. All of your points and ideas have been great and just what I needed since I don't really have anyone else to look over it, it's so nice to be able to come here and get help! Especially the little things that I didn't notice I was doing such as using implement--your right, it doesn't sound right!
    Thanks again!
     

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