On preparing for a wedding....

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Securis, Jan 12, 2013.

  1. Securis

    Securis Cohort

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    Jan 12, 2013

    ...which, admittedly, I know nearly nothing. First, I'm not overly concerned but I am curious enough to make an inquiry of the brain trust here at AtoZ. We've got an early July date set because we didn't want to wait until 2014 for a Saturday to open at the place we've chosen. Granted, I'm such a relaxed easy going guy that either/or was fine as long as she's happy with the circumstances. Anyways, here we are with just under 6 months to get everything together. Some things are already done or ready to go pending another aspect getting completed. For instance, we're doing a sit down dinner at the reception so we have to do a menu appointment before we can finalize our invitations. ETC. My question revolves around timing and trying to figure out how I should moderate myself and respond the future Mrs. X with regards to her anxiety about getting things done in a timely manner. I feel she's overly anxious about things getting done and she may be thinking that I don't care enough. She hasn't said so because I'm being very helpful with my involvement. So maybe she doesn't think that and I really don't want her to think that. ;)

    How fast should all this 'stuff' get done? I want to be on target with my own response to the timing. Under ideal circumstances, will it take the entire 6 months to get all the ducks lined up? Or should we push to get it all together as fast as possible to avoid problems?
     
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  3. monsieurteacher

    monsieurteacher Aficionado

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    Jan 12, 2013

    From my own experience as a husband of an anxious wedding planner... be there as much as you can to help. Brides get pulled in all directions by family and friends, and she will likely need you to help calm the seas. It will take the entire six months... there are certain things that just come up more last minute, but do as much as you can well before the wedding, because those last minute days are stressful. I still remember the relief we both felt when we woke up the morning after our wedding, and realized we didn't have to be anywhere that day to plan flowers, or discuss music or food or whatever else...

    Best of luck to you and your wife. Just remember it gets better!
     
  4. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Jan 12, 2013

    I skipped on a wedding so I have no advice, but congrats. :)
     
  5. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Jan 12, 2013

    My husband basically just showed up to the wedding wearing the tux I picked out. He didn't really care about the planning or particulars of the wedding, just wanted to get married! I did have my mom to help me a lot though.

    And congrats on the wedding!!!
     
  6. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    Jan 12, 2013

    I am sure you can find a time planner online or in a magazine. Venue and date seem set, so I would concentrate on bride's dress and photographer next (good photographers book fast).

    My husband was very involved, but mostly as support and let me pick what I wanted, except he had very specific ideas about the tuxes. The men looked so classy!

    While the wedding is fun, the life you are building is really the most important thing. We did something right- it was thirty years in August.

    Good luck!
     
  7. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Jan 12, 2013

    Now you may say is that all Irishdave got out of this? ....
    Next time use another letter than "X"
    I mean ex has such a negative sound.:(
    Ex-friend, ex-boss, ex-wife :(
    It also sounds experimental :eek:
    X-1, X-15 :eek:hmy:

    BUT it also can mean more power as in exponents :thumb:
    In mathematics, 'x' is commonly used as the name for an independent variable. So she could be quite independent :)
    :2cents:

    About the planning of the wedding just say, "yes" and go along with 95% of what she wants and fake the other 5% (the 5% could be a skydiving wedding, a wedding next to a erupting volcano or a wedding in the shark tank at Sea World)

    All kidding aside
    "May your joys be as deep as the Ocean, and your troubles as light as its foam."
     
  8. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Jan 12, 2013

    Ask for her to-do list and see what you can contribute and accomplish. Ask for an assignment and FOLLOW THROUGH. My husband bombed his main task of finding music for the reception, leaving me to scramble for a DJ (he had wanted a small jazz combo).
     
  9. monsieurteacher

    monsieurteacher Aficionado

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    I dropped that ball too catnfiddle... I just ran out of time for it... but my plan was to just make up an iTunes playlist for my wedding. I asked a friend the night of the wedding, since I remembered that I forgot. He did an excellent job switching youtube videos on the computer, and everything went off with a hitch. Turned out he wasn't big on the whole awkward wedding thing, so he was delighted to have a task too.
     
  10. Securis

    Securis Cohort

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    Jan 12, 2013

    Thank you all.

    Now that you mention it 'X' may not have been the best choice of variable.

    As far as assignments, these I have already. I am in charge of finding an officiant and since I am a sculptor, I am carving the cake topper from basswood. And I'm in charge of researching our honeymoon, any good cruise ideas? Plus as I was told by the good-man Irishdave, nodding in all the right places has been the status quo. I make a wave here or there because I want to be more involved but not too much because that's not what's expected.

    I'm just looking for an inkling on the time frame for getting this done. Since I'm catching the drift that her anxiety seems well-founded I'll step up my own game and help her get more organized.

    Thanks again for the sense of timing we're facing.
     
  11. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    Jan 12, 2013

    Head to a bookstore and buy her a wedding planner book. Look at it before you give it to her so you can talk about it together.

    Congrats!
     
  12. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Jan 12, 2013

  13. lnm130

    lnm130 Companion

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    Jan 13, 2013

    As someone who is getting married in approximately 5 months and two days...not that I'm counting...I can only imagine your FI's anxiety. I've been planning for over a year now, and I'm stressed out to no end.

    Just help where you can, be supportive, give input (when we ask, we really do care...), and reassure her that if at the end of the day, you two are married, then the day went exactly as planned.
     

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