Not sure what to do

Discussion in 'General Education' started by cuguam, Aug 3, 2007.

  1. cuguam

    cuguam New Member

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    Aug 3, 2007

    My 4 year old son goes to a Christian Preschool. The incident that happened today blew my mind. Today after the kids came in from the playground the Director/Teacher told the kids to wash up in the bathrooms, my son went to the wrong bathroom. The teacher didn't know where my son went; when she found him she scolded him and spanked his hand a few times. The teacher left a note stating today’s incident and she admitted that she spanked his hand. I need some advice, do I write a letter to the teacher or do I go straight to the principle. Thanks for your help
     
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  3. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    Aug 3, 2007

    ouch!! Sleep on it, give yourself a day then decide...after the weekend things might feel different. My 4 year old's director yelled at the child sitting next to her in the van on day. I heard it and was upset that a grown (about 6 foot 280 lb) man would yell at a 4 year old child. I made the mistake of telling someone, who told someone, who told the director, who told her husband...he showed up at the school before picking up the 4 year olds and confronted me about "ruining his reputation" when I stated that I thought that he was out of line screaming at a 4 year old, he said"she was bullying your child, I was protecting your child." I felt that his screaming did more damage that her bullying to my quiet four year old daughter. Needless to say, we removed her from the center, mainly because of him coming to my school, my classroom, and trying to intimidate me. I felt that if he scared me then he was scaring my child. She became a different child after the change of daycares.

    My advice is think about it, pray about it, and then do what your heart tells you to do.
     
  4. purplecrazy21

    purplecrazy21 Comrade

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    Aug 3, 2007

    I am not at all a teacher that advocates going straight to the principal with classroom issues. I would much rather have parents of my students come to me with their concerns first so that I can try to remedy the problems quickly.
    That being said, I think in this case I would write a letter to the teacher, but I would also go to the principal and let him or her know what happened. Hitting a child for any reason is not okay. This teacher should have handled this situation much differently.
    I only know one side of the story, but it sounds like your son accidentally walked into the wrong bathroom and being in pre-school this is an easy mistake to make! The teacher could have just showed your son where the boys' bathroom was and let him know that only girls are allowed in the girls bathroom.
    Anyway, I think I would let the principal know.
    Good Luck!
     
  5. Lyquidphyre

    Lyquidphyre Comrade

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    Was she mad that he walked into the wrong bathroom, or was she worried because she couldn't find him? I personally think you should talk with the teacher and see where she was coming from- if she was worried because she couldn't find him and acted emotionally she might apologize for her actions... but if she tells you matter of fact-ly she slapped his hands to "teach him a lesson" then you might want to take it to the principal.
     
  6. TulipsGirl

    TulipsGirl Cohort

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    I don't agree with the hand spanking.But she may have had an emotional reaction (which she regrets) because she may have thought he was hiding. A parent told me that one of her children convinced another child in the kindergarten to "run away" and convince everyone they were absent that day :eek: . Since this was a serious safety issue, she agreed with the serious discipline that needed to take place. Go to the teacher first and find out what her reasoning was. You may decide either way that you want to discuss it with the principal, too. But give the teacher the courtesy of finding out why this happened.

    (Though if this were the case, I would think she would indicate this in the note. Still... talk to the teacher.)
     
  7. MissFroggy

    MissFroggy Aficionado

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    My mom worked at a Christian pre-school and they did not hit the kids, but she told me that some of the parents sent their children to a private christian school after their preschool that used corporal punishment for elementary school, specifically because they were allowed to spank!! I couldn't believe it when she told me this... I did not think there were any schools nowadays that would use any kind of corporal punishment. It may be that the person who hit your child believes this is something that is ok to do at school. You do need to speak to the director at some point, sooner rather than later, but after your nerves are back to normal.
     
  8. Miss_snugs

    Miss_snugs Rookie

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    That is unacceptable in any situation. I would talk to the teacher to get the whole story but the director absolutely needs to be made aware of what happened no matter what the teacher says.
     
  9. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I think there are a couple of issues here:

    1. NO ONE hits my kids (except his or her parents).

    2. A four year old was out of sight of his teachers for that long? He wasn't accompanied to the correct bathroom?

    3. Four year olds can't read. He opened the wrong door without being able to read what was on it. For that he was spanked? What happens if a 4 year old commits a REALLY serious offense?

    4. How does the teacher know he was in the wrong room if she wasn't there with him? If she was there, how was he able to get into the wrong room? This sounds like a supervision issue.

    I'm much better in writing than face to face. I would write the teacher a note, cc the director, and get this settled.
     
  10. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    Alice, I just love you to death. You are always so level headed and cool...
     
  11. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Thanks, but SO not the real me.

    It's all that math training, plus all those years coaching debate. I'm just good at breaking a problem down to smaller parts.

    Now, if only I could cook or clean!!!
     
  12. ChangeAgent

    ChangeAgent Comrade

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    How is you son, and what does he make of the situation? How does he feel about his teacher?
     
  13. TXTeacher4

    TXTeacher4 Companion

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    Oh my gosh, I would be FURIOUS! I am a hot head, so I probably would have let my emotional reaction get in the way of the best decision. I agree with Alice and Miss Snugs. It was not ok. Talk to the teacher to find out what happened. The director needs to know about the situation. I would be fired if I hit a child.
     
  14. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    A teacher who hits is a teacher who has lost control. Wht she has now taught the children in your room is to be afraid to make mistakes and that if you are the big person you get to hit people. Why is it that hitting children is ok but if you hit a grown up it's called assault and battery??? I really can't beleive the responses on this forum that almost forgive this incident as being an 'emotional response':eek: NO IT's NOT, it's an OUT OF CONTROL response... At least she admits she hit his hand...I would request a sit down with the director and this teacher....(DO NOT DISCARD the note!!)
     
  15. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    Cz, I think I have to agree with you. Hitting indicates a certain level of rage that I think is inappropriate especially when handling a preschooler. And as Alice said, it was an honest mistake most likely. Even if this kid habitually strayed into the wrong bathroom on purpose, hitting him wont solve the problem. Isn't the goal to correct behavior not punish?
     
  16. Tbelle1035

    Tbelle1035 Cohort

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    Hitting is totally unacceptable and solves nothing. I would arrange to speak with the teacher first, then maybe find out from the director what the policy is for corporal punishment. If a child gets hit for making a mistake, what will happen when he does something naughty?

    Give the teacher a chance to explain and go from there. If it was me, I would make it clear that I am to be called if a teacher feels corporal punishment is necessary.

    Sounds like the teacher lost control and acted impulsively.
     
  17. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    I agree that this is an issue which involves at least two parts: hitting, which is completely unacceptable to me, and a lack of supervision, with which the child would not have ended up in the wrong bathroom.

    If I were in your shoes, I'd request a meeting with the director and state my very serious concerns about both problems, right before I pulled my kid out of there and demanded a refund of any future tuition already paid.
     
  18. teachkids

    teachkids Rookie

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    Hitting is not okay. How does she know he went in the wrong door on purpose, by accident...it doesn't matter. Maybe he just took a litttle longer washing his hands. But, the question is where was the teacher to supervise the children? I asked my daughter, who works in preschool,hoe she handles this. She always makes sure her charges get to the right room and they are always accounted for aftewards. A simple explanation of why the teacher was upset would have gone alot further than spanking the hand. No wonder we have trouble with kids hating school later in upper grades.
     
  19. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    This would be absolutely unacceptable to me. I think the teacher should be fired, actually. I wouldn't talk to the teacher, I would go to the director. Then, I would take my child out of the school.
     
  20. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    All I can say is, "WOW!".
     
  21. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    What did you decide to do?
     
  22. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    As a teacher, I WOULD NEVER do that.

    I teach 4 yr. olds and I would have taken the child by the hand (gently) and said, "oh oh, wrong bathroom" and then proceeded to show the child the picture on the door (if one) and showed them the right bathroom...and where in the world was the teacher/teacher aide? We aren't allowed to let our 4 yr. olds "go to the bathroom" or anywhere else alone.

    As a parent, I WOULD think long and hard about that particular teacher...yes, I'm a strict parent, but it wouldn't be acceptable behavior for my son's teacher to do that and although I don't particularly enjoy confrontations...I would wonder how the teacher would react in other instances...I DEFINITELY would talk with the teacher and bring it up to the principal as well. I don't think I would ever be comfortable with the teacher and now that I'm thinking long and hard...I would pull my son out of there.

    Sandra
     
  23. teachkids

    teachkids Rookie

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    I agree!
     
  24. TulipsGirl

    TulipsGirl Cohort

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    Saying that it was an emotional response doesn't mean that I think it was an appropriate response. I would be furious as well if someone hit my child. It is completely out of line.
    I believe that someone who is "out of control", is responding out of emotion - responding innappropriately out of emotion. That emotion can be anger, fear etc. Either way, the physical manifestation of that emotion was inappropriate.
    The story that I mentioned about the students running away actually didn't invlove hitting, (sorry, should've mentioned that!) but the consequence that took place was with both parents, the director and teacher and was very stern with the children. (Stern enough that she felt a parent should be present when they spoke to the children about the severity of the situation) Again, this was a safety issue.
    I do think that the OP should be sure to speak with the teacher though, because even when she does speak with the director/pricipal, she will want ALL the facts. Perhaps the best idea was when someone suggested that they all meet together. And then, she may very well decide to take her child out of the school. But you will not find out what happened unless you talk to th teacher.
     

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