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Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by giraffe326, Jul 12, 2009.

  1. Lesley

    Lesley Habitué

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    Jul 12, 2009

    You have so many people here at A to Z that are concerned about you and care about you! There are lots of great suggestions on here for you-classes, sports, puppy training class, walking the puppy-try different areas to meet different people. WHen I moved away from family, I took a class at the university, took an exercise class, played tennis-just doing something rather than work, in an area that interests you will help you meet people.
    My oldest daughter has more friends that are boys than girls. Boys are just more down to earth than the girls she went to school with-so it is not unusual to hang out with the boys!

    Once your health is back on track you should feel better-just make sure that if the depression continues over the next few days you get help asap-double check on webmd for all side effects of the medicine you are taking-ask questions of your doctor or pharmacist if things aren't right.

    You are needed and cared about.
     
  2. mollydoll

    mollydoll Connoisseur

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    Jul 12, 2009

    I'm sorry you are feeling so low. I've been through depression and the hormone problems and it isn't fun. You sort of have to ride it out, but there are definitely positive things that you can do to help yourself. Have fun with your puppy! He certainly needs you. Find a dog park or fun place to take him. The more things you can involve yourself with, the better right now.

    I've never been good at making friends either. My dad was AF and had a specific set of clearances and skills and they were always moving him. I went to a dozen schools in 11 years (I didn't finish high school). I was shy and overweight--it was no fun. I do things like go out for lunch or to movies by myself. I even went to Bush Gardens by myself last year. It was great--I got to ride the Alpengeist 11 times in a row without anyone rolling their eyes and objecting.

    But my bird has really been the best. She needs me and anything I give her, she really gives back to me 10-fold. She loves rolling around on the floor with her cat balls and is such a clown. And she is very snuggly and affectionate. I can tell a huge difference in my happiness since I got her. Actually, I rarely get lonely anymore. Even just hearing her feathers rustle about or her eating noises while we are doing different things is comforting.
     
  3. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jul 13, 2009

    How are you feeling today Giraffe?
     
  4. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Jul 13, 2009

    Omigod, were you on Provera? I've taken that before and it did horrible things to my psyche for a week. The really good news is that once it passes you actually feel better about life than you did before taking it, if only because you don't feel awful anymore.

    Hopefully, the improved perspective will help you try to move into new attempts to be happy. You're in my thoughts (especially as another person who moved to a new town and was isolated for the first two years).
     
  5. mollydoll

    mollydoll Connoisseur

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    Jul 13, 2009

    Giraffe, ask your doctor about evening primrose oil. It is GREAT for depression and hormonal issues. A lot of mainstream doctors recommend it these days (not just alternative/herbalists).
     
  6. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    Jul 13, 2009

    Hugs Giraffe

    This is the first time I am seeing this.

    First of all, I am so glad you were able to open up on this forum. I haven't read through the posts yet but I so hope you are feeling somewhat better today. I pray that with the help of us on here, your family, puppy, and doc, that you can come up with a game plan to help the situation. I have a suspicion your medicine is amplifying your feelings right nos. I am sure others gave you some good advice and I'll read the posts when I get back.

    Just know that we all love you and are here for you.

    Lemon
     
  7. Lesley

    Lesley Habitué

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    Jul 13, 2009

    Giraffe, did you and your puppy sleep better last night?
     
  8. Maryhf

    Maryhf Connoisseur

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    Jul 13, 2009

    Just wondering how you are feeling today. Sure wish my doggie and I could come over and play.:hugs:
     
  9. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    Jul 13, 2009

    Good Morning to Giraffe and all! :hugs:

    Have a great day, everyone!
     
  10. shouldbeasleep

    shouldbeasleep Enthusiast

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    Jul 13, 2009

    My neice is in the same boat, but perhaps a step further along towards healing. She feels isolated and alone in Boston, and away from family. She's always been a shy person and has difficulty making friends.

    She has to force herself to get out there. She says she has a tendency to go to class, go to therapy groups, and then stay home and read or get on the computer.

    Two years ago, she ended up seeing a psychologist and joining a therapy group for depression. She bought a charming little poodle that adores her and is a constant companion.

    Last year, she moved further ahead by continuing with the therapy group, doing a few things with them, and joining (of all things) Match.com. She went out on a few dates, even though she thought she was going to back out at the last minute.

    This summer, we sat down and together made a list of more things to do. The list has some personal preferences as well as a few that are out of her comfort zone. Perhaps you can get some ideas to help you.
    * take the dog to a few different places for walks
    * find thrift stores to visit (she loves funky old things)
    * find the local library and look for a book club to join (loves to read)
    * take a cooking class
    * try a bit harder to go out to a few restaurants like Appleby's by herself. I told her to go for lunch and sit at the bar area until she got used to the idea. Then she could attempt a dinner. She is not a drinker or bar/club person at all.
    * Find an area of the city or state that seems interesting and go exploring.

    Maybe this will help. Think about it as a problem to be solved and then tackle it. You have to put yourself out there. You have to keep trying. See if a few teachers at school wouldn't like to go out for a snack after school (or drink if that's your thing)...or coffee at Starbucks. One day, tell them you just need to get away and leave school and see if they'll drop everything and go with you.

    And smile a lot. Walk in and say hi to a team mate for a minute. Ask how it's going. If you have to prepare yourself with what to say, do it. It takes work to step outside the comfort zone of being alone and not putting yourself out there.

    Belive me, you are not alone in your feelings. No one around me would ever believe that I was once shy and alone. (I still fight the tendency to be alone. I think I'm a hermit at heart, but it isn't healthy.)

    Good luck and be brave. I'll be thinking of you.
     
  11. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Jul 13, 2009

    I've posted alreadby, but also, people may not think this helps, but surprsingly, it does: How about giving yourself a makeover!
    #1, it should feel great to be pampered &
    #2, when you look good, you better, you tend to smile more, & it radiates outwardly.

    So, make appts for a manicure, pedicure, hair salon & get a different cut, style, &/or color, maybe get a massage or facial. Buy yourself a few new pieces of clothing & shoes, maybe new earring & a necklace or handbag.

    Don't get more depressed about how much this will cost you, feel good about it & remind yourself that you deserve it! :D
     
  12. CajunQueen

    CajunQueen Rookie

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    Jul 13, 2009

    Giraffe- I just found this post. I am so sorry you are feeling so depressed. I also went through depression and can honestly say it is not a good feeling. I pray you feel better soon! It seems you have already received great info here from our A to Z family. Keep us posted and let us know how you are doing. :hugs:
     
  13. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    Jul 13, 2009

    Wow what great advice everyone has given.

    Someone said you are a strong person and I have always thought that about you. Heck, you up and moved half way across the United States, on your own, at the age of about 24 if my math is right. You have come a long way and are an independent person.

    After reading what you said about the medicine and what others said, I'm convinced that has a lot to do with how you are feeling. I know you are probably lonely and would like more friends, but the true sadness you are feeling is probably not as real as you think because the hormonal stuff. When you start on the Yaz, it should help you but I'd still set up an appt with your doc ASAP and talk about the feelings you are having and see if there is another medication that could help you too. Sometimes antidepressants can take a few weeks to work.

    People say join this and do that, and I agree, but I think your head needs to be a little clearer and your hormones a little more on track before you will take action. That is why it is important that you see your doctor.

    Just know you are not alone. Almost everyone who responded said they have felt the same way. I remember going through depression when I made the trek from Wisconsin to Texas, on my own back in the 80's.

    Again we are here for you. Keep checking in 'cuz we all care.

    :love:
    Lemon
     
  14. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    Jul 13, 2009

    Giraffe, you're on my heart. Hope your day has been great.
     
  15. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Jul 13, 2009

    Lots of good advice!

    Is your puppy sleeping in your room? If so, I advise moving his crate as far from your room as possible. When we got our puppy the seller told us to train the puppy to like the crate. We put special soft blankets in there and puppy chewies, toys. Always praise the puppy for following the commanad "go to bed." Give a little treat through the slot of the crate once the door is locked.

    The puppy is like a newborn, every little noise will wake you up! You have to get your sleep and the puppy will not be hurt in any way by sleeping alone in the crate. Put the blanket by the front of the crate, and that leaves a clean area at the back in case of an accident. Is your puppy on a schedule for potty breaks? Do you get up in the middle of the night to take her out? That is fine while she is little, but soon she is going to have to sleep through the night. If she gets your attention by crying, she will keep crying. Plus having you near makes it hard for her to settle down and sleep.

    I second the idea of joining a sports league, esp. since you are athletic! Other ideas -

    -Yaz should take care of a lot of your health/depression issues.
    -make a list of every single interesting or fun thing there is to do in your area. When you start feeling lonely, go do one of those things.
    -start out small by asking one or two people to go out for coffee after work
    -make another list of volunteer opportunities in your area - everything there is! Try some of those things out. You will get a great sense of accomplishment and of being needed through volunteer work: read to the elderly at a retirement home, volunteer w/Girl Scouts, Big Brothers/Sisters, Boys and Girls Club, soup kitchen, Salvation Army
    -find a church and go! You will meet people and have opportunity to serve others

    I, of all people, know how hard it is some days to just get out of bed. You might have to gather every ounce of strength you have and get in the shower. Make a plan the night before of 1 thing you can do to meet people, one thing you can do to serve people, one thing you can do to better yourself, one piece of reading that is positive. It takes such an act of will on some days!

    Most people don't have lots of close friends. Most people hav 2-4 close friends, and more casual friends. What you need is a group of casual friends you can call to go do things with from time to time. OUt of this may come a close friendship.

    As puppy gets a little older, there are tons of opportunities to meet people through your dog. Hang in there girl! Hormones are a big reason you had such a tearful day - everything gets magnified and seems hopeless. But there is a lot of hope out there! Stay away from negative, downer TV and reading for the time being - put in lots of positive things.
     
  16. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

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    Jul 13, 2009

    Giraffe--I'm in a very similar social situation (moved to another state on my own) and am still struggling with meeting people and making friends. I just wanted to let you know that I needed you to make this post to see that I am not alone in dealing with this. Everybody else has some great suggestions--unfortunately I live in a rural area without many of those options. I don't want to hijack, but does anyone have any more ideas?
     
  17. chebrutta

    chebrutta Enthusiast

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    Jul 13, 2009

    amakaye - how rural? I struggle with many of the things I suggested - mostly because I live in a retirement town & all of the book clubs/round robins/craft classes are ladies 65 & over.

    Is there anywhere for you to volunteer?
     
  18. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

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    Jul 13, 2009

    Is there a hospital that you can volunteer in? If there is, I would suggest the children's or maternity ward as you will be more likely to meet younger families.

    Oh, and remember some of these 65 yr. old ladies may have a son or grandson that may be single!
     
  19. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Jul 13, 2009

    Giraffe, I'm so sorry you are feeling awful. Loneliness is an insidious feeling that makes you doubt your own self-worth. Caring for a puppy will certainly keep you busy, which is a good thing. Dog parks are fun places where it is very easy to meet people. (Have you ever seen that movie Must Love Dogs? It is hysterical.)

    When you have the energy to do so, participate in some kind of class or club. The suggestions made above are excellent ones, but you have to feel better to do them. So, take care of your health issues first.

    Maybe you could check in here and let us know how you are doing. It's easy to do, and you know we all care.
     
  20. SwOcean Gal

    SwOcean Gal Devotee

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    Jul 13, 2009

    Sending lots of hugs! Hope you feel better and realize just how important you are to so many people! Best wishes! Hugs!
     
  21. cmw

    cmw Groupie

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    Jul 13, 2009

    :hugs: Definitely take your puppy for walks when he's old enough. Getting out & having the sun beat on me always makes me feel better. I also don't have friends that I hang out with or really talk to. Luckily I have a fiance so I don't get lonely. I think Facebook is great b-c it's helping me reconnect with people. I think some of us just take longer to make those kinds of relationships. I've only been at my job 2 years. I'm hoping with time I'll become closer with people & you will too. :hugs:
     
  22. Go 4th

    Go 4th Habitué

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    Jul 14, 2009

    I think that everyone here has already given you great advice and I just wanted to send big hugs to you.

    WE need you here--you are always helpful with your advice and posts. You are a part of what makes this forum so wonderful! You are an inspiration to those who are having to move to find a job. You did a hugely brave thing, moving to a complete new area. I can't imagine how you did that! I moved 2 hours away one time and came back home 3 days later--never even unpacked the car!!! Look at what you've accomplished! Many people would love to be that brave. Also, think about your students. You may not see them daily right now, but they need to see you in the fall. They need that smiling face to assure them that they will be ok in the 6th grade. And this group of 5th graders need you to help prepare them.
    Most importantly.....God needs you. (I apologize for this part if you are not a believer) God has given you so many talents--he needs you to share those talents with others.

    I'm just in Atlanta--you are always welcome to come visit and we will go hunt down mmswm! :)
     
  23. gossamer

    gossamer Rookie

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    Jul 14, 2009

    I want to second www.meetup.com It is an awesome site with groups for everything from harley riders, to homeopathy, to scrapbooking and more. A great way to meet people in your area.
     
  24. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    Jul 14, 2009

    Good morning Giraffe. Hope you're better today.
     
  25. Kangaroo22

    Kangaroo22 Virtuoso

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    Jul 14, 2009

    Hi, Giraffe! I hope things are going better for you, today.
     
  26. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    How's it going, Giraffe? :)
     
  27. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    Jul 17, 2009

    Hi all :)
    Again, I thank all of you for your support. I love being a member of AtoZ. All of you make it what it is :)
    It took me a while to reply because I made an unexpected trip home to MI because I am allergic to dogs and had to give my puppy to my sister.
    I am home (NC home) now and much better. My hormonal imbalance seems to be fixed and I think I needed to see my family.
    I still do not like the lull of summer (I have to stay busy or I go bonkers), but I am no longer a basket case because of it ;)

    Again, thanks to all of you!
     
  28. Teaching Grace

    Teaching Grace Connoisseur

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    I'm glad that things are better for you! I'm sorry about your puppy though. Maybe a cat will be better? It's good that you got to see your family though. I know that you needed that. I hope you find something to do in order to stay busy. If you're schedule is like mine, you'll be back in school in about 3 weeks!
     
  29. Maryhf

    Maryhf Connoisseur

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    So glad to hear of your improved mood! but sorry about the puppy. I've been going crazy this summer too. The teenagers don't seem to need my attention like they used to. Been on Ato Z wayyyy too much.
     
  30. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    Jul 17, 2009

    Giraffe~I am so glad you are feeling better. Please take care of yourself. Are you still planning on going back to Michigan when you were going to originally go?
     
  31. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    Jul 17, 2009

    Yeah- I am going back on the 27th for about 10 days of constant running around (water park, amusement park auto races, MLB games, dinners with friends, etc...)
    I am working on resting up for it ;)
     
  32. cmw

    cmw Groupie

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    Jul 17, 2009

    Glad you're doing better! :hugs: If you still want a dog I believe there are ones that don't have the dander so people with allergies can have them. You also might look into other critters like a bird or ferret. You can really bond with cockatiels, lovebirds, & even small parrots like conures. :D Or perhaps you'd like one of those ugly hairless cats (sorry if anyone has one). :eek:
     
  33. scholarteacher

    scholarteacher Connoisseur

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    Jul 17, 2009

    I've been there, giraffe! I'm so sorry you're going through that! Have you seen a doctor in terms of possibly getting some medication? The hormone thing may be important, too! Will pray for you, starting now. Remember, "It came to pass...."--it didn't come to stay! Stay in touch! You got a lot of friends!
     
  34. scholarteacher

    scholarteacher Connoisseur

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    Jul 17, 2009

    PS--giraffe--I'm in the Charlotte area as well. PM me if you need to!
     

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