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Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by giraffe326, Jul 12, 2009.

  1. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    Jul 12, 2009

    First, I will preface by saying that I have been crying non-stop for 3 hours now and my phone is dead (and now charging- cell doesn't work at home) and I think I know what my problem is. I just need to vent, and due to no one being on facebook and a dead phone, this is the next place I thought of to go to.

    I have been in a rotten place emotionally for a while now. Stress at both jobs (and broken promises) and a few health concerns have gotten to me. I have been unusually depressed.
    I think it all boils down to the fact that I am not needed. By anyone. I moved here (to NC) completely alone. I knew not one single person in this entire state when I arrived. Over the 2 years I have lived here, I have grown apart from everyone except family back home. Here, I have not really made any friends. Some, but no REAL friends. I am very shy to start off and I have a hard time expressing my emotions outwardly. People have told me before that sometimes I come off cold, and it is not my intention. Just my social awkwardness coming through.
    I have 'friends' at both jobs. While I am at work. Outside of work, I have no one. So, I am very, very lonely. Sometimes it bothers me more than other times. This summer has been very, very bad. So, I thought getting a puppy would help me because I saw how much my mom's puppy helped her when my sister moved out and she had an empty nest. I now fear this was a mistake. And I am panicking.
    I was just laying in bed crying (and trying to sleep because my puppy is actually sleeping in her crate and not crying) and it dawns on me that I know what my problem is. I am not needed by anyone. No one. No one calls because they need a favor or they need someone to shop with. No one calls at all. The only people who call me are 750 miles away. I can't just jump in the car and d something with them.
    So, now I sit here, hating myself and who I have become. Why is it that I can never quite bridge the gap and make a true friend? And, did I do the wrong thing by getting this puppy?
    This next part may be going into a TMI situation, but I am functioning on about 4 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours. Add to that that I am having my period for the first time in 6 months (part of my health issues I am having), and only because the doctor made me take Provera to have one. So, I know my hormones are all out jacked up and I hope this passes.

    Anyway, anyone have any advice on ways to change themselves? I need to do something. Moving back to Michigan is not an option because I would not have a job.

    I apologize if this is coherent and thanks for 'listening'. And, before someone asks, I am going home for a 2 week stretch 2 weeks from today.
     
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  3. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Jul 12, 2009

    I really, really feel for you & I'm definitely not making light of your situation whatsoever, but being completely honest, I have ZERO friends either, never really had. Maybe 10+ yrs ago, I had 1 friend & we'd talk on the phone once every other week & go out together maybe once a month, but no one to call a good, true friend. Maybe I'm not down & out because I'm just so used to it. I just have my BF & that's it. No gal pals to talk on the phone w/, go shopping w/, lunch w/.

    The only time in my life I had a b-day party was when I was 7.

    I don't have friends at work either. Well, now I'm a sub, where I'm at different places, but even w/ permanent jobs I've had, I don't go to lunch w/ people at work or have social talks in each others' classrooms, etc.

    On top of that, I'm an only child, so I'm isolated enough as it is. The thing is, I'm the sweetest person anyone could ever know, but I guess no one gives me a chance to get to know me. I mean we have work, school, etc. & then that's over or we're off, everyone does their own thing. And I'm not out much to get to know new people because I don't have friends to go out w/...I know, it's a vicious circle!

    My entire life, everyone I come across seems to already have friends. And it's not like I just moved to where I live. I've lived here for like 20 yrs.

    I've learned to stand alone since such a young age & for so long.

    It's hard for someone w/ the kind of life I have to give you advice. Just hang in there & do your thing. I guess I could say to join grps & take fun classes to get to know new people.

    Again, I wish you all the best & I hope things improve for you healthwise & emotionally! :hugs:

    PM me if you ever walk to talk. If only we lived closer!
     
  4. Teaching Grace

    Teaching Grace Connoisseur

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    Jul 12, 2009

    I will pray for you for starters. I have been there too. All through my life I have always been the one who seemed to be the one keen on keeping up friendships. But my "friends" were more muggy weather friends than fair weather friends. They wanted my support when things were bad but not good. Anyways, I am lucky now that I have 2 really good friends that I talk to almost every day. I would suggest maybe finding a hobby. If there is something that you are interested in doing, I'm sure a big city like Charlotte has a group meeting for it. I definitely would not give up yet. It takes time to make friendships, even at work. It took me a year to really get to know my great friend that I count as 1 of my 2 good friends. At the moment, while I know that it feels like you would be better with friends to do things with right now. It sounds like you should be focusing on getting your health in the right way. I think the puppy was a good idea though. Once she gets settled in, she'll stop crying and be happier. While you get your health in order, work on the hobby thing. Plus, you always have friends here. Plus, I'm only a 3 hour drive from Charlotte. Maybe we could get together if you wanted to :)
     
  5. Carmen13

    Carmen13 Groupie

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    Jul 12, 2009

    Oh giraffe326, I'm so sorry you are feeling like that... Being away from family and friends is not easy; you had to be very brave to take that step on your own, in the first place.
    Why don't you call some of your friends from work and go out to a movie, or something?
    Things will get better! And going "home" will help you too!:hugs:
     
  6. MissWull

    MissWull Cohort

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    Jul 12, 2009

    I am sorry to hear of what you're going through giraffe. *HuGS* I know how it is to be misconceived by people, because I am for the most part shy and sometimes don't know exactly what to do/say or how to act in certain situations around people I don't know. Luckily my husband is here to be my "role model" and set things straight about why people may think certain things of me (and not that anyone should take everything people think into account, but it can explain some things.) For example, my husband says if I'm irritated or think something is odd, I show it on my face...I may not know I do, but I do. It's hard to explain but I just come off the wrong way sometimes! So I can relate to you on that.

    It's wrong to think that no one needs you. Your puppy needs you, without you he/she could not live. You are very important in that puppy's life. Your family needs you as well, they may not ask you for the small favors you talked about, but that's because they know it's not feasible with how far you are from them. I think it's good you're going for a visit, perhaps it'll help you get back on track with things at home. It'll give you some motivation.

    Would you ever consider moving back to Michigan? Trying to find a job there? I'm sorry I don't have the best advice, but I know everyone on this board is here for everyone else, so if you ever feel the need to vent, come here!

    As for your "friends" at work...have you tried to ask them out for coffee or just to hang out on the weekend? Sometimes you'll have to initiate the hanging out because the others may just not think of it.
     
  7. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    Jul 12, 2009

    I am so sorry, giraffe.:hugs:

    I remember that you have been blue for awhile.

    Look at your situation and decide what you can change. Puppies DO need you, but they can be a lot of work for one person. On the other hand, a puppy is the perfect way to meet people. Take your pup to the pet store with you, find an obedience class and sign up, find a local dog park to frequent.

    When you are feeling better, you can be the one to make the call and ask someone to do something. Ask one of your work friends out to do something casual, or better yet, ask several and get a group going. Plan something - an ice cream sundae party or something fun.

    I am sure your hormones are a wreck, but think about what you can change for yourself for the long run.

    Why not organize an A to Z get-together for your area? I've seen many people say they would be interested in meeting.

    I have a friend whom others think is awkward, and she finally asked me once why she had trouble with people; maybe someone close to you at home could give you some pointers.

    I hope you feel better soon.
     
  8. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    Jul 12, 2009

    Big hugs Giraffe....

    Seems to be a hard summer for a lot of people. Hormones raging is enough to make you cry.

    Being needed is vital to existing, being alone has to be difficult.

    I've not walked a mile in your shoes but I will make a few suggestions for you:

    Make yourself valuable to someone. Is there someone from school who could use a babysitter or help with a sick loved one? Could you volunteer at Red Cross or an animal shelter? Join a church, join their choir, teach a Sunday school class. Are you getting enough sunshine and fresh air? Refrain from drinking any alcohol, it acts as a depressant. Randomly call a colleague from school ask them to meet you for lunch or invite them to come over and eat lunch with you. A single friend of mine volunteers at the library during the summer, he loves it. Give yourself away to others.

    It takes time to make friends. You have to spend time with people to feel a sense of belonging. Everyone you work with has their own set of problems, be a good listener.

    Wish you were here, I'd be your friend.
     
  9. peggy27

    peggy27 Cohort

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    Jul 12, 2009

    I am sorry you are in a bad spot right now. But your puppy needs you!! She will be keeping you busy and taking a lot of attention.
    Is there someone at work that you feel comfortable asking if they want to go out for lunch or dinner sometime?
    Take your puppy to puppy classes, you may meet someone there. If you like animals, volunteer at a local shelter.
    I don't know if dogs are guy magnets but they are definitely girl magnets. Take him out to the park.
     
  10. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Jul 12, 2009

    People like dogs, but I think girls like them way more. My BF & I should do an experiment w/ my dog. If I was a betting person, I'd bet that if ea of us were at our outdoor mall alone w/ my dog, my BF would have quite a few girls approaching him to pet my little Boston Terrier & ask my BF questions,etc.
    However, I, on the other hand wouldn't have as many guys approaching me w/ my dog. Mainly more families, kids, & maybe older ladies just wanting to comment.

    That's the way the ball bounces I guess. :( Sorry, don't mean to hijack.
     
  11. RainStorm

    RainStorm Phenom

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    Jul 12, 2009

    Giraffe,
    First, you are not alone in feeling like this.

    Second, and maybe most importantly, if you are having the first period in 6 months, your body is FLOODED with hormones right now, and this intensifies moodiness and depression. I'm periomenopausal right now, and very 7-8 months I get hit by incredibly mood swings that are very hard to handle.

    Don't make any major life decisions until your hormones balance out -- because while it is difficult right now, it won't seem quite as overwhelming when the hormones subside. It doesn't mean the issues or loneliness won't still be there, but I think it won't be quite so overpowering as it is right at this second.

    I don't think you want anybody trying to tell you to "do this" or "do that" -- I think you've probably tried most of those things, and that right now you just want to vent. So vent away! The people on this forum are great about that.

    Hang in there. Keep reminding yourself that things won't seem quite so desperate once your hormones subside. "This too shall pass." Then once the hormones calm down, you will be in a much better place to evaluate (or re-evaluate) things.
     
  12. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

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    Jul 12, 2009

    I know how you feel giraffe. I moved to Georgia for 3 years and upon my return the only job offer I got was over 3 hours away from my friends. I pretty well lost touch with many of my friends during my times in Georgia. It seemed like I was the only one trying to remain in contact and my messages were never returned, so I finally gave up.

    I was hoping to move back to my "city" this school year but they are not hiring until Sept. and I can't quit my present job hoping that I will get hired. The schools here are quite small (maybe 10 staff members -- including parapros and the principal), so the friend selection is really slim, lol. My program was moved to a new school last year and the staff population has increased but I'm in my mid-30s and 90% of the staff are in their mid-20s or younger -- I am done drinking until I puke on the weekends phase, so I haven't made any 'let's do something after work' friends. If I could get a dog, I probably would. Right now I am thinking of joining some women only exercise classes in hopes of making a friend.

    I'm a loner, so I am not too bothered by not having friends to do something with every day, but I would love to go on weekly to bi-weekly outings.

    PS...I do attend workshops not only to learn something but to also look for a new friend...
     
  13. WindyCityGal606

    WindyCityGal606 Enthusiast

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    Jul 12, 2009

    Have you tried meetup.com? It's a website that puts you in touch with various interest groups in your area. It's free and you'd be surprised at how many others join who are in your shoes. Everyone wants to belong and feel needed. You have to make it happen. Go out and find your place and create your role in the lives of others. It takes some effort but it can be done. Nowadays, much social networking is done online too. Try to join some of the online dating services. If anything, you'll meet new frieds and possibly even a great guy or two. Don't lay in bed crying. Please. Get to your doctor for a check up and make sure you are physically healthy then get yourself involved.
    All the friends you have here need you. Remember that.
     
  14. emmakate218

    emmakate218 Connoisseur

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    Jul 12, 2009

    I can relate in many many ways, but really wanted to comment on the puppy issue. I think it's completely natural to feel withdrawn from a newly adopted puppy. It's like post-partum depression. When I got my dog, five years ago, he was a very young puppy and I remember having those feelings of like, "Oh crap! Take him back, take him back!" I remember crying at night when he was peacefully sleeping in his crate. After a couple weeks, those feelings completely faded and when I look back now, it's so darn funny. It'll get better.

    As far as making friends. I've found that work friends don't translate to outside of work friends unless you have something in common - like you both enjoy playing tennis, scrapbooking, cooking, etc. If there aren't common interests, you're just two people that like one another, hanging out and that can only be fun for so long. It would be very superficial. What are your interests and how could you meet other people that share those interests?
     
  15. Loves the beach

    Loves the beach Companion

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    Jul 12, 2009

    I experience depression and loneliness. I took in a kitten. She aggrivates me sometimes, but I actually look forward to coming home because I know she will come to the door to greet me. There's something about having a pet that makes me feel better. Just knowing that someone else is in the house with me who feels totally comfortable around me. And who loves me for the way I am. I do not think you made a mistake in getting a pet.

    I have been battling with depression since I got married. I moved only 100 miles away from my hometown, but it was still REALLY hard on me. I miss being able to see my family every day. It has been hard adjusting. I am trying to overcome my shyness. My husband works 12 hour shifts, so I'm by myself alot.

    I am now a member of a Sunday School group at church. I feel very comfortable in this small group of ten or so. There's a lady in the group who also struggles with depression, and I feel like she understands me. I have gotten to meet new people and go places, which keeps my mind occupied. I don't consider any of them my best friends, but I feel that they do care about me.

    Maybe it would help to try joining some sort of group or take a class to meet new people. I'll keep you in my thoughts. :hugs:
     
  16. Erin Elizabeth

    Erin Elizabeth Groupie

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    Jul 12, 2009

    I know how you are feeling. I have trouble making new friends. I'm on the shy side until I get to know people better, so that doesn't help.

    The easiest way I've made friends recently is through school, not work, but classes I take at the community college for fun, like ceramics or yoga. You might try that.

    Hang in there. You are needed. :hugs:
     
  17. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Jul 12, 2009

    Huge :hugs: giraffe!! I'm the same way when it comes to making friends because I'm on the shy side too. It takes me a few times hanging out with people before I'm comfortable with them. I'm lucky in that I have my hubby and dd to hang out with. We've been here for three years and just this year I've managed to hang out with my neighbors more often and haven gone out with them a few times. I commend you for moving out of state by yourself. I know I could never do that. I'm sorry that you are going through this, but the puppy does need you. I was also going to suggest meetup.com or exercisefriend.com. :hugs: again.
     
  18. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    Jul 12, 2009

    Giraffe, I hope you get through your gloomy spell. AtoZ needs you! Your puppy needs you.

    I remember with our first puppy I was home alone with her all day during the summer and while I loved her, she drove me crazy ... that part didn't last for long. Once she learned a routine and got to know her surroundings, she was great.
     
  19. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    Jul 12, 2009

    Giraffe, your post was one of the saddest posts I've ever read. I don't know you (personally) but I wish I could just sit with you and hold your hand. I wish you were our neighbor. My wife and I would make you feel VERY needed.

    Please get some professional help NOW. There are thousands of links which address depression and I'm including one here.

    http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/clinical-depression/an01057

    If you don't mind I will PM you later. You are very important. You are very special!!

    Tender hugs for you from the Major.:hugs:

    Major.........:love::love::love:
     
  20. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jul 12, 2009

    OK, Rain, I'm going completely against your post, with a list of "to Do's: :p

    I spent Thursday and Friday in tears-- I mean all day, both days, buried under sobbing, wracking tears, because of health stuff. Nothing really new, just got a look under the bandages after Wednesday's reconstruction and was blown away. So I understand the whole "crying and not being able to stop" thing.

    I don't think it's a matter of "changing who you are." I think it's more a matter of LIKING who you are. You're shy. You're nover going to be that girl with the lampshade on her head at the party. Shy is part of who you are, and part of why those who love you, love you.

    But it doesn't mean you're doomed to lie there in bed, a hormonal mess, forever.

    For starters, you have a dog, and she DOES need you. As soon as you get your composure back, throw yourself into the whole dog thing. Go online and find a class (NOT a personal trainer, a class you and she can attend together.) The point is twofold: to get her trained and to find you a group of potential friends.

    Next, find a dog park or some other place you can take your dog. Spend a couple of days playing with times, until you find a time when there's a bit of a crowd of young adults. You're not looking for Mr. Right, but for others in your age bracket. If you need help on either front, go back to where you got the dog. The whole puppy-training thing will give you some common ground for conversation.

    Next, you say no one needs you. Hit Google and become a Big Sister. Sone 8 or 9 year old girl desperately DOES need you, she just hasn't met you yet.
     
  21. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Jul 12, 2009

    I posted here already, but I PM'd you! :)
     
  22. Kangaroo22

    Kangaroo22 Virtuoso

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    Jul 12, 2009

    I'm sorry you're going through this. I also have a hard time making new friends and it's something that I struggle with. For the most part I'm pretty happy spending time myself and am okay with it, but I know how hard it is to be in some place by yourself (I moved far away from everyone I knew, but have since moved back) and it's nice to have someone to do things with.
     
  23. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jul 12, 2009

    Now, about those people back home:

    It's Sunday afternoon. Stop, catch your breath, and throw some water on your face.

    Then get OFF AtoZ and call or email half a dozen old friends. You can use the excuse that "it's finally summer and I have time to come up for air. I haven't kept up with you and it's been bothering me. So let me tell you what's new..."

    You can gush about the puppy, tell about your plans for next school year and-- this is IMPORTANT-- extend an invitation for them to come for a visit. Not a general "come by sometime" invitation, but a "Hop in your car, pull an all nighter, and let's go to the beach this week" kind of an invitation.

    Call one of those "work friends" with questions about finding a dog class or a dog park. Use the excuse to ask whether she's in the mood to go grab dinner.

    Hang in there!!!
     
  24. TennisPlayer

    TennisPlayer Cohort

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    Jul 12, 2009

    Can you volunteer somewhere you would enjoy and that way look forward to going there and meet new people there?

    I remember seeing a poster in an Elementary School that said : to have a friend you have to be a friend. So people don't just always come to "us", we have to seek out people too and that is usually done by where you are most of the time. Yes, this is a good forum to vent and all but shouldn't substitute trying to meet people in person.

    I know it doesn't feel good to not sleep so I recommend you start taking really good care of yourself physically and emotionally (eating right, exercising, finding things you love to do, playing with your puppy!) and then you will feel sooo much better. Do you believe in God? If so , then I encourage you to pray as Jesus (Whom I believe in) wants you to talk to Him and He will carry you through this time moment by moment!

    Plan your day and focus on helping others... Take care and Pm if you want.
     
  25. Pisces_Fish

    Pisces_Fish Fanatic

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    Jul 12, 2009

    Oh, Giraffe, me heart breaks for you. I totally understand. I am also a NC transplant and really understand where you're coming from. I also have lots of work friends but no acquaintances. It's a very scary, lonely, desperate place sometimes. I am also "cold" when I meet people.

    If you ever want to meet up, I'm sure we could be friends, we sound similar ;) :hugs:
     
  26. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    Jul 12, 2009

    Giraffe, :hugs:
    You are very much cared for...people here have reached out to you...that's why I love this place so much! There are really true people behind each post. :)
    Is there anyone you can reach out to at a church? THere are usually different groups going on...young people, college & career, etc...
    I have noticed that "older" folks like to take a younger person under their wing...because they're either "on their own" and the older folks are just as "needy". Nothing wrong with needing to feel needed, Giraffe. I will pray for you, dear. It hurts to feel unneeded, lonely, unloved. We've all been there at one time or another. And it stinks! But, don't ever feel you are alone.
    Maybe you can take that cutie pie pup of yours out for a walk in the park...who knows; maybe you might just run into someone new. :)
    :hugs:
     
  27. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    Jul 12, 2009

    I just wanted to say thanks to you all. I only read the first post or two and began crying harder (yes, still crying- now for over 6 hours straight). I will read them all later, but again I thank you.
     
  28. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Jul 12, 2009

    g-
    stop crying. Wash your face, take the dog out for a walk.
    Call your doctor tomorrow. You are in hormonal overload...

    Ditto on calling up old friends and arranging some dates...invite them to your new digs...explore your new town with old friends.

    You are not alone- there are currently several threads about summer boredome/ennui/feeling down...Take one small step every day and push yourself to 'get out there'...You don't know the effect you have had on people around you- people you have encountered at your school, the grocery store, your neighborhood....Reach out- yes, that takes some bravery but this is one of those 'put on your big girl panties' times. Take the puppy to a dog park or obedience class. Go to the park, the library (my local library is running book clubs and movie nights)...there are inexpensive activities out there to explore- make yourself do one every few days...fake it until you make it and come here and let us know how you are doing. We care.
     
  29. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Jul 12, 2009

    Major- this is why we :love: you!!
     
  30. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    Jul 12, 2009

    yes, great advice!!! And the part about "fake it until you make it" is absolutely true! Put on a smile, Giraffe; as hard as it may; it will really help...man; I have to do that daily when I go to work; I also remember the good things in life and it has drastically helped my mood and attitude. :)
    Let us know when you are able to see your doctor who will be able to diagnose what you're going through.
    We care, so keep in touch, dear! :hugs:
     
  31. RainStorm

    RainStorm Phenom

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    Jul 12, 2009

    I agree with everything you say Alice, except the dog park part. Puppies under 6 months should never been taken to a dog park!!!!!!! Puppies aren't fully vacinnated until then, and many dogs at the dog park are not fully vaccinated, even though they are supposed to be. Diseases that aren't too risky for older dogs can be fatal for puppies.

    http://www.poochplayground.com/uploads/Puppies_and_the_dog_park.pdf

    You never, never, never want to take a young puppy to the dog park, and reputable dog training classes won't take the pup until they have certain vaccinations that they can't get until a certain age. If you are unsure, check with your vet first!!!!!!
     
  32. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    Jul 12, 2009

    Again, thank you to everyone :)
    I am a little better thanks to a naughty puppy making mad instead of sad :) (Of course, I am trying not to be too mad because she has only barely peed on the carpet and that was when I was fighting with her to get her leash on- otherwise we have been accident free :) )
    I am going to take her for another walk soon so she will sleep most of the night. Our last walk (around the block) tired her out and I had to carry her the last portion because she kept laying in the road. I am hoping for a repeat performance this afternoon.

    Anyway, I know I am physically exhausted. Yesterday was a HUGE day at work (we had over 200 customers[one person per family is the customer] and about 400-500 people at the dealership for a huge sale we had. So, then, I went and got the puppy who cried all night. So, I ran around like crazy and then didn't sleep.
    Plus, the medication I was taking causes depression. Since it did it's job and caused me to have my period, I don't have to take it and am starting Yaz today. Apparently this should help me. It should counteract all the symptoms of my disease.
    Add to that my crying puppy with smelly breath (oh it is awful- we are going to the vet tomorrow for puppy shots and hopefully they can do something about this, too). I just hit my limit.

    Again, thanks to all that have responded. Several of you made me cry again and a few laugh. If anyone in my area wants to meet for lunch one day or something, I am game. Just PM me :)

    For whatever reason, I tend to get along better/have more in common with guys instead of girls. Maybe it is my lack of showing emotions outwardly paired with my love of sports. I don't know. But, that is why I don't have a lot of close friends at school (they are all female). At the dealership, I get along wonderfully with most of the salesmen. I would say my best friend in all of NC is a 56 year old man who was born and raised in Trinidad (and I am a 26 year old white girl from the suburbs- weird combo). But, he is wonderful and comes to my rescue (like picking me up in the pouring rain when I bought a table too big to fit in my car :) ). There are a few others I am pretty close to, too. We talk and e-mail or text regularly, but about nothing. They go to a bar and grill nightly after work and once in a while I go. But, I don't drink and they all do, so it can be awkward for me at times. 2 girls from the dealership and I used to go out at least once a month, but they are both in new relationships and are always spending time with the S.O.s. Anyway, maybe tomorrow after work I will go to dinner with the boys if they go :)

    Thanks to everyone for being my shoulder to cry on.
     
  33. jenn888

    jenn888 Rookie

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    Jul 12, 2009

    I do this too! I know what you mean about coming off the wrong way
     
  34. jenn888

    jenn888 Rookie

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    Jul 12, 2009

    You and I are a lot alike when it comes to feeling not wanted. Ms. I we are alike as well. I am an only child with no friends really. I dont have a boyfriend so I feel very lonely most of the time. I wish us three lived closer together :(! Last night I had a blind date and I felt so stupid when he asked me what my friends and I did. I just made something up. It sucks b/c all the friends I did have all are married with kids, so they never want to hang out or anything. We have nothing in common. I have never made friends easily and now that I am 30 its deficiency not easy! I just try to take it day by day...I hope things get better for you. I totally understand your feelings. Good luck with your puppy and new meds:hugs:
     
  35. teach2read10

    teach2read10 Companion

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    Jul 12, 2009

    Long Term Solution

    After college, I moved away from where i grew up and never felt i fit into the new area. I moved back home and reconnected with family and old friends. I make less money but it was the best thing i ever did. It may take you a year or two of planning but it sounds like Mi is where you belong.
     
  36. Teaching Grace

    Teaching Grace Connoisseur

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    Jul 12, 2009

    It'll get better! Promise! I'm glad that all of our posts helped. Hopefully with the Yaz everything medically will be taken care of and your hormones will be all straightened out. That'll take care of some of your feelings. You could always go out with the guys and then slowly ease into a new group or two in order to meet friends. I hope the puppy sleeps for you tonight :)
     
  37. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    Jul 12, 2009

    We have a Canadian friend who's from Trinidad, that's when he was a kid though...he's about 58 or so. I'll have to ask my husband about his age.
    I am not a drinker either; and some of the girls go out to drink during th weekends; it doesn't appeal to me.
    Maybe one of these days, you can ask one of your coworkers if they'd like to get an iced tea or dessert after work and chit chat?
    Keep in touch, we care! :hugs:
     
  38. mrsnikki

    mrsnikki Companion

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    Jul 12, 2009

    I am sorry you are feeling so lonely! I was a constant mover as a child and am just now settling where I am. The one way that I made friends was to make sure that if I was invited to something and even if it wasn't something I "necessarily" like I would go anyway. Never turn down a request until you feel comfortable with them as friends. (This sounds wierd I know!) Second, maybe give a friend from school you talk with a call...just call and say hello. You may find that you have an interest in common or talk about movies. You might find a movie buddy that way and it WILL develop from there :) Be as open to every opportunity as you can. I was a military brat by the way and these are the skills that are instilled in every one of us. lol
    Let me know if you ever need anything...even just a person to talk to!
     
  39. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jul 12, 2009

    Totally unrelated:

    We're having great luck getting our puppy to use Housebreaking Wee-Wee pads. When things finally quiet down this week, we're hoping to transition her to outside.

    Oh, and hit the petstore and get some Nature's Miracle. It's well named!!!
     
  40. chebrutta

    chebrutta Enthusiast

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    Jul 12, 2009

    Oh, giraffe, I'm so sorry. I've been in your shoes before. From the lonely (well, I still am) to sitting in the shower crying every day until the water ran cold to health problems to getting an extremely needy, sick kitten.

    And I know just how hard it is to actually get out of bed and do anything. Taking that step to make a change is going to be very, very hard. Everyone has given you some great suggestions. I'd like to add taking a class at a local community college/craft store/checking out adult sports leagues. A friend in Raleigh plays on an adult kickball team & that's what helped get her to meet people when she moved up there.

    :hugs:
     
  41. Jlyn07

    Jlyn07 Comrade

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    Jul 12, 2009

    I'm sorry you're feeling this way :( You are a strong woman though; it takes so much courage to move away from your family to a place where you don't know anyone! I want to move away but I just can't do it. A huge part of my social circle IS my family cause I don't have a lot of friends and cannot make them easy at all. People tell me I always look miserable - I'm not, its just how my face is! I really don't have any advice but wanted you to know that you're not alone in your feelings. Heck, I live 10 minutes away from my family and sometimes go whole weekends without talking to or seeing anyone - I feel lonely a lot. Making friends is hard!

    Good luck and I'm glad you're feeling a little better now.
     

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