Not getting along with forum culture, apparently

Discussion in 'Forum Announcements & FAQ' started by Kenz501, Mar 4, 2018.

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  1. Kenz501

    Kenz501 Cohort

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    Hi again.

    I've posted a few questions about issues I've been having with teaching positions, and teaching in general, and it seems like some, and apparently the moderators, do not believe my posts are appropriate. I'm not really sure what I'm doing wrong. I've seen other people post their problems, concerns, and complaints about the profession on this forum, and the responses were not so tongue in cheek.

    I did not mean to offend anyone on this forum. I was just feeling really frustrated, and I was hoping I could get some workable advice from people on the forum. Instead, it seems like my threads are frequently shut down, and it doesn't seem like they are closed due to my responses but perhaps instead to people who dismiss my claims as some sort of joke. I do not think this is fair, and I would like to prevent it from happening in the future. If the topics I've raised were inappropriate, please let me know which rules I overlooked.
     
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  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Your claims aren't jokes. It seems, however, that you aren't taking advice seriously. Which seems to be leading to a second verse same as the first sort of situation Take advice or not, learn from experience or not..this is becoming tiresome
     
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  4. Kenz501

    Kenz501 Cohort

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    I guess asking people to message me instead of posting in the public forum is a possible way around the problems I've had? That way, everyone isn't free to comment on everything I say.
     
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  5. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    These are forums. Public forums. If you have a specific question for a specific member, message that person. Otherwise you are going to get feedback from the membership at large
     
  6. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Phenom

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    I think it is because you keep starting threads about the same thing and blaming everyone else for your problems instead of self-reflecting and trying to improve. You know, most teaching credential programs include at least one course on being self-reflective of your teaching practices and ways in which you can improve them after doing said reflection.

    Stop. Making. Excuses. And. Listen. To. Our. Advice. Most of us are veteran teachers and know a thing or two about education...
     
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2018
  7. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    I feel the same as these other folks. I don't think the questions are inappropriate, but it gets frustrating to see that you are ignoring virtually all the good and relevant advice you have asked for. You're not obligated to accept anyone's advice, of course. But why do you keep asking for it? Many people here have given very clear, explicit, step-by-step instructions and suggestions to you. Instead of trying one or two things, it seems like you just keep reiterating your shortcomings or the fact that your school didn't prepare you or whatever else. If you want to move forward, do it.
     
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  8. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    I replied to your last closed thread and referred you to a discussion board for people with ASD. Please check there and see if they can understand your needs better than we can.
     
  9. Kenz501

    Kenz501 Cohort

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    I guess I'll take a look, but why was that one closed, too? Wasn't the topic appropriate?
     
  10. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    It dragged along, people gave very similar responses, and you didn't seem to find any that you could use, and it was repetitive. That's why I think the ASD forum might be more to your liking and needs.
     
  11. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    I have been coming to this public forum for 13 years now (wow didn't realize that until I looked) I will be honest, I haven't read but one of the OP posts. Having said that I find it very difficult to post things here without being ridiculed and non supported. Most of the time I come here to vent and I am just looking for an "I feel your pain" but I get "well why can't you do things differently" or "you should have known better" and sometimes I even feel attacked. I know what you are thinking why do you stay if you don't like the place? I stay because only you guys can understand how I feel. You are the ones down in the trenches with me. My husband isn't, my kids (well one can she is a teacher too) can't relate. I got lots of good advice and ideas from here when I was searching for a job all those years ago. At one time this forum was my sanity saver. Why can't we all just go back to being supportive to everyone even if they asked the same questions over and over again. We answer our students and parents, even when they ask us the silliest or most time consuming questions. Let's get back to being a supportive forum, not one that breaks the spirit of a new teacher or a struggling teacher, or even a veteran teacher who needs to vent! Just my opinion!!!!
     
  12. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    :heart:
     
  13. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    There's a difference between being supportive and being enabling.
     
  14. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    There is also a difference between being enabling and being down right mean and shaming others which I feel some of you have done in this post. Again just be a little sympathetic to some one who needs some support. Just because you are a strong person and may be able to handle all that life has thrown at you there are some who can’t.
     
  15. ChildWhisperer

    ChildWhisperer Groupie

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    @txmomteacher2
    Perhaps you should go read the other threads that OP started before you jump to conclusions
     
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  16. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Phenom

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    :yeahthat:
     
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  17. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

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    Don't read a few, read them all. Many were often running at the same time. The amount of help and advice offered was considerable,, but OP always came back to "why won't they train me?" Lots of excuses, and virtually no changes. Lots of support offered, even to referral to a forum that deals with individuals who are identified as ASD.

    There are two sides to every story, and many of the forum members who have posted in the past no longer open OP's threads. No one assumes that they have all the answers, but when it feels like you are talking to a brick wall, it is hard to be encouraging.
     
  18. anna9868

    anna9868 Habitué

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    What do you mean by "being enabling"?
    And I don't mean in general, but towards a fellow adult on the forum that you hardly know?

    I've always had problems with that phrase. Especially, when referred to children. that's ok, I can admit, English is not my native language, so here is a definition I got from google:
    ======================================

    Enabling is a term often used in the context of a relationship with an addict. It might be a drug addict or alcoholic, a gambler, or a compulsive overeater. Enablers, rather than addicts, suffer the effects of the addict's behavior. Enabling is “removing the natural consequences to the addict of his or her behavior.”
     
  19. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Phenom

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    To answer you question, refer to the post directly above yours.
     
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  20. anna9868

    anna9868 Habitué

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    So, enabling is not used only for addicts (gambler, etc)?
     
  21. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    No. Not only for addicts.

    Enabling: Shielding a person from the consequences of a destructive behavior; Allowing a person's destructive behavior to persist by managing or minimizing the ill-effects of the behavior.

    "Enabling" vs. "Empowering"

    Enabling: supporting a person's behavior that (repeatedly/habitually) instigates a negative or destructive result

    Empowering: supporting a person's ability or effort in a positive or progressive endeavor
     
  22. Kenz501

    Kenz501 Cohort

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    I think I'm just staying out of this conversation. I've been baited enough.

    I have taken advice that I felt was relevant to my situation. I guess complaining about how things aren't going my way isn't a good strategy. I accept that.
     
  23. Aces

    Aces Habitué

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    Well I haven't really read any of your posts (but I've read this thread). That being said it sounds like the common complaint is that it seems like you don't use any of the advice that's offered and then keep saying the same things over and over again. The only person on this planet that can change your situation is you. Not me, not anyone on these forums, not your admin team, not your mentors, etc. It comes down to this and it's incredibly simple: you want change, make it. You don't think you're getting the resources you need, go get em yourself. The only people in life that hands you stuff on a platter is the waitress at a restaurant.
     
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  24. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Phenom

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    Correct.
     
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  25. Kenz501

    Kenz501 Cohort

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    This isn't a new discussion, and I don't think it really applies to me that much now. I started a lot of those posts because I was just feeling sorry for myself and didn't know how to deal with it. I really did feel like the area I was living in offered no support, and I had been given the run-around by so-called professionals. Back then, I was pretty stressed out because I saw no "light at the end of the tunnel. " Things are different now, though. There are resources here, and my complaints have been taken seriously.
     
  26. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

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    An honest and insightful summation. It would be nice, sometimes, to be able to lock away those threads that are no longer relevant, and most of us who had been a part of many of your earlier threads have not gone looking for old threads to rehash. Unfortunately, on forums, that information just sits there and waits for one person to dig it up and move it forward months later as if it was just written yesterday. It's why I always tell my students, as I did my son, that one needs to be very careful about what is put out there via computer - in the digital world, it lives forever, waiting to be found.
     
  27. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Phenom

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    We are empathetic with you and your ailment. That is not in contention. Where we differ, however, is not telling you what you want to hear.

    Each and every time someone responds to your posts, you get defensive and point the finger at someone else or something. You think that jobs should be handed to you on a silver platter — they shouldn’t — and every instruction written out explicitly. That’s not how jobs work. You get instructions, yes, and help intermittently, but YOU are expected to figure it out. YOU are believed to be competent enough to handle issues on your own as the arise. YOU need to become a self-learner and problem solver.

    That is what school is all about: To get students to think critically and analytically, to be able to read and write skillfully, to enable them to communicate effectively and to translate their thoughts and ideas into coherent speech that is easily understood, and to use their unique skill sets to tackle problems in the real world. It isn’t there for them to be coddled and to have their hand held their entire lives through their respective careers.

    This is nothing personal. This is what we ALL have to do in our jobs and YOU are NO exception. You are obviously very intelligent, articulate, and high-functioning, so please stop making excuses. Please stop thinking that you are the exception to the rule or should be the exception to the rule. There are no exceptions.

    We are saying this to be realistic with you. Please stop, actually listen this time, and quit with the pity party. It gets old.
     
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  28. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Phenom

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    Your previous colleagues were being professionals. You were not.
     
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  29. Backroads

    Backroads Aficionado

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    The reason no one explicitly trains you in the teaching world is because the majority of schools expect a new teacher to have already more or less learned the basics of the craft in college.
     
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  30. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    My EX has ASD. Nothing is ever his fault. Ever. People always pick on him. People never help him enough. He is perpetually caught in a cycle of anger and woe-is-me. I watched him alienate everyone who tried to help him. I don’t even know where he is now. He can’t hold a job because nobody ever helps him, he says. When he is offered advise, he refuses to take it because it is not what he wants to do.

    I’m not sure how I dealt with it for as long as I did. I really tried, but it was exhausting. Once he started becoming aggressive, I was done.

    I see him in these posts. I don’t know the answer, but I understand the struggle.
     
  31. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Phenom

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    Beautifully explained. Thank you for your input.
     
  32. Aces

    Aces Habitué

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    So then why dredge up a post from four months ago?
     
  33. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

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    Actually, she didn't. Another person commented, which moved a 5 month old post to the recent post column. This didn't happen because of OP's own doing.
     
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  34. Aces

    Aces Habitué

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    Oh yeah you're right. I must have overlooked that.
     
  35. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    I would say that this forum is very supportive and I have been very happy here. Don't only read one post by the OP, read at least 5, or more. Pretty much all or at least most threads were about the same issue, a lot of people chimed in, offered advice, tried to get creative, tried to really figure out a way to help the op, but this person had an excuse for everything and no idea sounded usable.
    After a while this gets old. I offered my advice a few times, and that means that I have actually sat there, gave it some thought and effort and then spent some time typing up. And what happened? Nothing, it was dismissed as "can't do" or not even really responded to. So I stopped offering advice and after a while stopped reading the posts because it was always the same thing, neverending.
     
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  36. Kenz501

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    Yeah, and when I mentioned "so-called professionals" I wasn't talking about the forums. You can't go to a "career counselor" or get help for "mild autism" if the so-called professionals where you live seem to have no idea what that is or claim there "wasn't funding for that disability," for example, and like I said earlier, it was frustrating, but it doesn't even apply now, so who cares?

    I only replied to this because there was a recent reply to it for some reason.


    Also, the person quoted above was correct. People will drag up whatever they want if they have access to it, regardless of if it's still relevant or not, and, like I said, I'm not interested in continuing this discussion, as it doesn't apply anymore.

    If any of you want to comment on a recent post, go to my most recent thread, the one that states that I've decided to move on. You are welcome to offer any relevant advice over there.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2018
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