NOT a child abuser!

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by scholarteacher, May 10, 2010.

  1. scholarteacher

    scholarteacher Connoisseur

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    May 10, 2010

    Have any of you ever experienced something like this? My daughter (age 30, 4 kids) is dating a guy her same age who has a 2-year-old. His ex is upset that he's dating my daughter, so she (the ex) has filed criminal child abuse charges against my daughter and the boyfriend--this woman's ex. She has pictures of bruises on the child, but no evidence as to when the pictures were taken or who inflicted them or how, or if the child could have been bruised when she fell or something. My daughter stands to lose her kids over this! If convicted, she would never be allowed to go on field trips or be a room mother! How can this happen? She is even being denied a job because it showed up on a background check. What happened to innocent until proven guilty?!
     
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  3. HMM

    HMM Cohort

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    May 10, 2010

    It doesn't exist in America...I don't think it ever has.
     
  4. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    May 10, 2010

    Does your daughter have a good lawyer?
     
  5. 3Sons

    3Sons Connoisseur

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    May 10, 2010

    Technically, the ex can't have filed criminal abuse charges against your daughter and her boyfriend -- only the state can do that. What the ex probably did is file a false report.

    Hopefully, the case falls through pretty quickly.

    What actually showed up on the background check?
     
  6. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    May 10, 2010

    I'm so sorry your daughter is going through this. I'm sure a thorough investigation will show that this a false report and the ex will be the one in trouble.
     
  7. KLSSwimmer

    KLSSwimmer Habitué

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    May 10, 2010

    Wow - I'm sorry your family is going through this. My advice is to get a good lawyer. Your family is in my prayers. :hugs:
     
  8. dogs&teaching

    dogs&teaching Comrade

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    May 10, 2010

    I'm so sorry. That is just down right terrible. Hugs.

    I also don't believe innocent until proven guilty has ever existed.
     
  9. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    May 10, 2010

    Oh dear, what a mess! :( That's another of my many reasons I'd never want to date a man w/ kids...unless maybe if he's an exceptional guy & the mother of his kids IS DECEASED. You never know what the ex is conjuring up in her demented mind.

    I hope your daughter pulls through this one alright! His ex is just jealous that he's dating your daughter & this is her revenge, but I sure hope this guy's worth all this trouble.
     
  10. WindyCityGal606

    WindyCityGal606 Enthusiast

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    May 10, 2010

    I'm sorry your going through such a nightmare too.
    In our country, anyone can press charges against someone else and it is then up to the accused to dig their way out of that charge even if they haven't been found guilty yet. Sometimes I think criminals have more rights in our country than do the innocent. My advice is to get a lawyer too. This is terribly unfair to your daughter and to your family. She can press charges against this woman for doing this.
     
  11. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    May 10, 2010

    Get a lawyer. Now. Contact your union. Sometimes they have legal help for situations like this.

    I wish I had better advise.
     
  12. scholarteacher

    scholarteacher Connoisseur

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    May 11, 2010

    Yes, fortunately her stepmother paid for her to get a good one. But her boyfriend had to get a court appointed attorney, and if he loses, he has to pay it back!
     
  13. scholarteacher

    scholarteacher Connoisseur

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    May 11, 2010

    Thanks for all the hugs and advice. Yes, the ex filed the report, and the DA decided to press the charges, even though DSS came out twice and talked to my daughter, her boyfriend, and my daughter's kids and said they saw no problem. I appreciate your support. I believe that God is in control!
     
  14. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    May 11, 2010

    I worked in DSS for awhile (although not in the Child Protective Services division). One thing I can say for certain is their testimony carries a lot of weight. The investigators are usually very good at thoroughly investigating and documenting incidents of alleged abuse.

    I'm not sure why the DA decided to press charges anyway after the DSS report found no evidence of abuse, but once the case starts, those same investigators will be called and will give the same testimony. Since your daughter has a good lawyer, he should be able to expose the ex-wife's actions for what they are, leaving no doubt your daughter and the father are not abusing the children.
     
  15. Kindergarten31

    Kindergarten31 Cohort

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    When my stepson was younger, with 3 small children, his wife decided she did not want to be a mother anymore and took off to find herself. After about 2 years she shows back up and wants the kids, not her husband, just the kids. He told her she would have to apply for custody, since she abandoned them. She got so mad that he wouldn't just hand them over, she began calling the police every week, alleging abuse by my stepson. He is a wonderful father and was devastated by this. The police got totally sick of her calls, because there was no basis for any charges. He went to court and got sole custody--she had to have supervised visits--she then took off again and didn't see the children for years. But his life and the children's lives were in an uproar for several years while all this went on. My grandkids are in their late 20's and have a very tenuous relationship with mother.
     
  16. scholarteacher

    scholarteacher Connoisseur

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    May 11, 2010

    Thanks for the good words. On top of everything else, my daughter had just been hired at a job, pending a background check. The charges showed up on it, and now she may not get the job, even though she explained the situation.
     
  17. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    May 11, 2010

    Again, I hope everything turns out well. Earlier, I said I hope this guy she's dating is worth all this trouble she's going through. Is she even seriously considering/planning on marrying him someday OR is this a guy she's been dating for like a year or less?
     
  18. MissSkippyjonJones

    MissSkippyjonJones Comrade

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    May 11, 2010

    Wow!

    It shouldn't matter either way because "all this trouble she's going through" needs to be cleared up since it happend while she was dating this person.
     
  19. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Well that's the thing. If this isn't even a guy she truly thinks she may marry, she doesn't deserve this BS. I know I'd really think long & hard if I want to stay w/ this guy if it were happening to me. I mean she may lose her OWN kids over this & her chances of getting future employment would be questioned. There's a ton at stake here. And if I were a betting person, if she broke up w/ this guy today, the ex-gf would probably laugh & say to herself, "My work here is done, I got her outta here!" Now whether she'll continue w/ the charges, maybe, but then, who knows.
     
  20. blindteacher

    blindteacher Cohort

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    May 11, 2010

    It really saddens me to see how hit-or-miss the child abuse report system really is. There are so many falsely accused innocent people and guilty people that go unreported and unnoticed.

    I'm glad to hear that they saw no problem. Hopefully this will help to clear things up for you and your family.
     
  21. 3Sons

    3Sons Connoisseur

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    May 11, 2010

    Incidentally, if it's the CACI list she showed up on the background check -- well, at the very least this site suggests that she might be able to do something about that.
     
  22. scholarteacher

    scholarteacher Connoisseur

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    May 11, 2010

    Thanks for the advice. I'm passing it on to her. She just found out that she did not get the job because of these charges. I'm quickly losing faith in our so-called justice system. And yes, she seems to be pretty serious about this guy. I really like him, but I've learned that it's hard to really know someone. They met online in October and he already lived in our area. They've been dating ever since.
     
  23. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Oh dear, so sorry she didn't get the job. Thanks for answering my question BTW!
     
  24. scholarteacher

    scholarteacher Connoisseur

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    May 12, 2010

    She is extremely despondent right now--has totally given up. In fact, I can't even locate her by phone, text, or through her neighbors. Please say a little prayer for her. Thank you!
     

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