No-one likes me. :(

Discussion in 'Kindergarten' started by McKennaL, Nov 4, 2009.

  1. McKennaL

    McKennaL Groupie

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    Nov 4, 2009

    Awwwww....

    One of my favorite little guys is so sad. Let me tell you about him.

    He's an only child. His parents are first generation over. They both have a heavy (Polish?) accent and so does he. He has a deeper voice than the other children. Seriously? He sounds like a kindergarten version of Borat (though more intellectual. well beyond his classmates). He is very expressive. He knows he is entertaining to adults...and will play up the facial expressions. He's a hoot.

    (example: a teacher tells the class about school workers that they will meet on their tour. and he says, "Who is dis nurse you talk about? I don know dis nurse. Why she here? Who could be seeck?")

    Today...we are on the rug..and the lesson opens itself up from letter sounds, to blending into words, to the -at word family. the kids are REALLY hitting it. Pat, sat, mat, cat, fat,...here comes hat. What is THIS one? The entire class raises their hands...except mini-Borat. So of course i ask him to give a suggestion. And where he is usually SUPER-WILLING to join in..here he is quiet and hardly wants to try.

    Later I talk to him. What's the problem? "Well, I tell you. I am very sad boy today. My face is sad. No-one wants to be my friend. I try to tell them things. I tell them when it's the truth, and they don't want to listen. No-one like *mini-Borat*."

    Awwwwww.

    Ok... how do you help kindergarteners - who may not be socially open to other children...especially those who talk differently and are WAY more intellectual than them... become friends?

    For older children I might put them together on a project where i KNOW he could truly add a good spin on things... but with SUCH young children. I don't know.

    Oh and by the way, we DON"T have recess or free time. It's VERY busy in our class with VERY little time for ANYTHING but learn learn learn.

    How do YOU handle similar situations?
     
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  3. Securis

    Securis Cohort

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    Nov 4, 2009

    Show and tell. The more they know about him in other ways the better they will receive him, at least in theory.
     
  4. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Nov 4, 2009

    Create situations where he has the power to decide who does what. Like, let him decide who to send to centers.
     
  5. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    Nov 5, 2009

    Do some cooperative grouping and pair him with a weaker personality, so that he has the chance to be the leader.

    Create a new center that is VERY attractive to the children and allow Borat to choose it first, so that the other kids are dying to get there, too.

    Does the counselor do any social skills training? I thik Borat needs some lessons on how to make friends. Our counselor is great at that.

    Watch him closely at playtime and recess and pick up times when he is socializing appropriately and happily, and point them out to him. I had this very same issue with an Indian child. Exactly the same thing. But when I watched him play, he seemed ok. I started saying things to him like, "look who has chosen to sit next to you, your friend Amy!" or "I like how you and builiding a tower with your friend Alex." Seriously, that's all it took. He wasn't paying attention to the other kids....he was just noticing when they were blowing him off, not when they were accepting of him. And the grumpier he got, the more they blew him off. Huge cycle.

    Kim
     
  6. punchinello

    punchinello Comrade

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    Nov 5, 2009

    Oh, he sounds adorable.
    Great timing for this post....I just went to a workshop with an author who wrote "The Unwritten Rules of Friendship" and it's all about this very thing.
    On the back cover are the words' Nobody likes me". Each chapter includes specific strategies for helping children with social skills.
    At this age, these kinds of skills are as important as reading.

    Her name is Natalie Madorsky Elman. I like that the examples she uses are clear, with simple activities.
    She talks "observe and blend", to help a child join a group. Don't say "Can I play?" Standing on the edges of a group keeps you outside the group...negative self-talk leads to negative reactions from others....all common sense things, but she breaks down the solutions so simply.
    I think we need to make time during the day to teach some of these skills. Having no recess is really a shame! That is where they get to learn and practice social skills.
     
  7. Silmarienne

    Silmarienne Cohort

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    Nov 5, 2009

    Good suggestions. I also want to say that some kids just need 1. someone to acknowledge their feelings and 2. help with labeling their feelings. Just touching him on the arm and sincerly saying "sorry you're having a bad day, Borat" tells him that you accept his feelings and that they are not global or permanent.
     
  8. halpey1

    halpey1 Groupie

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    Nov 5, 2009

    Like everything else... MODEL MODEL MODEL. I'd talk about being kind to each other and show them how to do this. It won't take long before someone is kind to him and then NOTICE it and PRAISE the heck out of that student - the others will get it quickly.
     
  9. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Nov 5, 2009

    You might suggest that another child invite him over to his house for a playdate.
     

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