No matter what, this teacher always says, "He/she NEVER does that in my class!"

Discussion in 'General Education' started by nstructor, Oct 4, 2019.

  1. nstructor

    nstructor Cohort

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    There is a teacher on our team who no matter what no student ever exhibits any of the behaviors they do in EVERY other class! At any parent conference, this teacher always says to the student, "You need to act the way you do in my room!" Every so often this "may" be true, but everyone knows the majority of students who act a certain way in 1 class, acts that way in all classes? Agree or disagree?
     
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  3. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    While I doubt this teacher is able to turn every student into a perfect angel, I respectfully disagree with your point that students who act out in one class will act the same way in all classes. It seriously depends on the personal dynamic between the individual student and teacher, and possibly also on the student's academic preferences. Now, if this teacher is over the top in conferences, that's another story.
     
  4. Loomistrout

    Loomistrout Devotee

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    Ah, the proverbial “My biggest problem is I have no problems”? Although arrogant and self-promoting, research does point out the same students can act one way for one teacher and completely different for another. Taking the question further it might be of interest to find out what teachers mean by “behavior”. I’ve known teachers who believe anything short of suspension for fighting is considered good classroom management. Other teachers send students to the office as if the door is a turnstile. When asked they reply, “Me? I have no discipline problems.” In any event, the teacher lacks empathy. Undermining colleagues in front of parents is unprofessional.

    If you really want to know, objectively, what students are doing during class time consider Student Engagement Rate instrument. SER shows graphically what each student is doing - socializing, out of seat, staring, playing with objects, engaged etc. - during a teacher directed activity. SER is an excellent data form to show parents at conference since it is filled out by a neutral observer. If your colleague’s statements are true it will show up on the SER. My first time using SER I thought I was at least better than average at classroom management. When I saw the results, turns out two of my best students were reading their library books throughout my lesson. I had no idea! The little sneaks stuck their library books inside their open text book to give the illusion they were on task.
     
  5. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

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    I guess I am that teacher. Case in point, I often am told by my colleagues that certain students of mine are horrible in their class, but said student(s) never demonstrate(s) their “true” colors in my classes. I just don’t see anything untoward or nefarious being done.

    I think some teachers are overly sensitive.
     
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  6. creativemonster

    creativemonster Comrade

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    Can you ask them - Wow, this is great to hear - what exactly is it that gets little johnny to be successful in your class? Either the teacher can help transfer those successful behaviors to other classes or perhaps they are just not as observant about the less successful behaviors.
    I have never seen the observation tool mentioned above. It sounds very helpful!
     
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  7. Tired Teacher

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    I can see how hearing that could get annoying and make you wonder what the teacher allows and expects. However, teacher and student personalities can play a huge role in how a kid behaves. I will admit that I have more patience for certain behaviors than others and less patience for other actions.
    I am careful how I word things though because I do not want to invalidate the other teacher's feelings or truth. ( I have been on both sides of it.)
    I had the same team teaching partner for years. We liked the kids, but sometimes 1 would get on her nerves more than me and vice versa. Usually, the kid who was "on our last nerve" had more to do with 1 of us than the kid.
    As for misbehaviors, I have had kids who get kicked out of other classes and sent back to mine over the yrs. They tend to behave better in a more structured environment. I have learned to be really consistent and not to react the way some do. I am quieter than most teachers too.
    There are kids who do better with a different personality than mine. Like my worst pet peeve is when they "put their hands on each other and are mean." A kid who can't keep their hands off of others" would have a harder time in my class than in some others teacher's classroom. I know 1 teacher whose pet peeve is lying. She has little patience for it. I don't like it, but I can get over it a lot quicker.
    Also, the subject material can have a lot to do with it. A teacher who teaches composition will probably get more kids who act out than a math teacher at my grade level. I have taught both and all. I have had kids who love math and hate to write. I have kids who love reading, but hate math.
    The teacher is wrong in telling the kid to behave like he does in hers, especially in a meeting! However, I think different kids behave differently depending upon their teacher and classroom environment. Other peers in the room....make a difference too.
     
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  8. ChildWhisperer

    ChildWhisperer Groupie

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    I've definitely had students who were awful for me but great for another teacher, and vice versa. It really depends on the teacher, peers, classroom, etc.
     
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  9. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    It's not always about teacher/student relationships. Sometimes it is the time of day the class meets (last period of the day is always worse at my school) and the peer group. I've had kids that were absolute angels in my class be Satan's spawn in another teacher's room and I can take zero credit for it. In my class Johnny knew no one and was just waking up. In hers many of his buddies from middle school were in there and ADHD meds were wearing off for all of them.
     
  10. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    I know teachers who rarely have problems with their students, and it isn't because they just let them do whatever they want either. They have excellent behavioral management skills and have a superior ability to relate to students. I'm not saying the child never tries to push a boundary, but it isn't something that happens often or repeatedly. Just as any other skill, there is a continuum of ability. Some are just really good at it while most are just average.
     
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  11. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Connoisseur

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    I’ve had students who didn’t behave for me and behaved for another teacher last year. However, I think there’s a way to communicate with colleagues that is more respectful and comes from a place of trying to help.

    This year, I have a student who has defied my instructions twice (and has some minor issues with other teachers) but I think most behaviors appear in my class. I have two kids who are very well behaved in my class but struggle a lot in English. I think it depends on the subject, teacher, etc. but I love my team because we support each other with behavior issues and provide realistic suggestions.
     
  12. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    I agree that sometimes how people communicate is a problem. Other times, no matter what is said the problem is within the person who is hurt and no matter how you say the information they will remain hurt because they want their belief to be true.
     
  13. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Connoisseur

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    Sure, but I wouldn’t say “He NEVER does that in my room.” to my team teachers even if it’s true.
     
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  14. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    That is your choice to not be honest, by omission, with the team in a meeting about a student.

    The fact that a student never does something in your room may be very telling when it comes to getting to the bottom of what is going on with the students.
     
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  15. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Connoisseur

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    I would say it in a more respectful way. We’ve told each other that “we haven’t seen those behaviors yet maybe because....”
     
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  16. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    Since when are facts disrespectful?

    If a student NEVER does something in your classroom, that is a fact. There is no blame associated with it.
     
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  17. TeacherGroupie

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    Intonation plays a huge role in how an utterance is interpreted, and it tends to be badly represented in writing. I suspect a2z has in mind the version of "He never does that in my room" in which the words "never" and "my" are stressed but not greatly; it conveys puzzlement as to what is going on with the student, but doesn't challenge the veracity or competence of the reporting teacher. Ms.Holyoke, in contrast, probably has in mind the version in which both the first syllable of "never" and the word "my" are given exaggerated stress and lengthened; it conveys skepticism as to the veracity and/or competence of the reporting teacher.
     
  18. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

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    I see. This makes total sense.
     
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  19. Tired Teacher

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    This is right on! When I read it, it sounded very disrespectful w/ a holier than thou attitude. That may not be the case at all..
     
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  20. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    It is true that intonation does play in making a point. The other thing I know is that people's own sensitivities can read things into comments that don't have intonation that is negative. There are people who are often defensive and will take just about anything that is said that is not total agreement as an attack. I see it happen all the time.
     
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  21. Tired Teacher

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    az2
    It took me many years to learn this....lol I could read the exact same 2 emails from 2 different people and walk away from 1 happy and the other a little irked. Sometimes it is sensitivities and other times it has to do with what our past experiences w/ that person have been or past experiences w/ the topic.
    Last yr, I caught myself feeling irked a few times by emails from a very unhappy camper who is always complaining about 1 person or another. I have a sister who is good at calling me on stuff if I need it ...lol
    I showed her the rude email, she did not see anything bad in it. She questioned what I had seen in it that I thought was rude. Then I realized I was reading it in a negative voice because that is the way the person talks. There really wasn't anything rude in it after all! ;)
     
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  22. Ima Teacher

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    Sometimes it is said being snarky or condescending. These people can just shut it.

    Sometimes it is said for the purpose of troubleshooting behavior issues. These people can continue talking.
     
  23. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Connoisseur

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    It seems like this teacher was saying this in front of parents or the student which is not appropriate. It takes the power away from the other teacher.
     
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  24. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    I guess we will just have to disagree.
     
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  25. vickilyn

    vickilyn Magnifico

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    I know that I can agree with Tired Teacher - we "hear" the email with the tone of voice or intonation that the one person tends to use specifically when speaking to us, and it colors how we "see or hear" that response. That's kind of a hard thing to easily fix, but it can be done.
     
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  26. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    And, as we just saw play out in the recent threads that were removed, someone can still be defensive and feel attacked even when they don't know the person who is responding. They may feel the other people are being unfair just for disagreeing. Even more "arguing like children" was used to describe what was a rather civil discussion but one that had very definite opposing viewpoints. So, no one here was being mean or unfair, but disagreement was enough to have the poster feel those that wouldn't back her up were the "bad guys".
     
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  27. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    It depends on the student but I've had certain students act totally different with me than in other classrooms with other service providers. Not 100% of the time but it just happens sometimes.
     
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  28. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    We all have different tolerance levels and pet peeves. Something that annoys me is loud kids. When kids have really loud voices, I first ask them why they're yelling at me (LOL!), then work with them on voice levels. Most often, they don't even realize they're shouting (that's just the way their family speaks).

    As a teacher, I worked really well with students with autism. As a VP, I continue to "get" them for some reason.

    As an administrator, there are certain students who I jell with. Not all of those kiddos necessarily work well with my principal. On the other hand, students who she adores may be students who frustrate or annoy me.

    Food for thought.
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2019
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  29. ecteach

    ecteach Devotee

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    I had a teacher complain to me for over a week about a student. Everyday....cussing and fussing about the child. I scheduled a conference with the parent and this teacher had the nerve to say she didn't need to come because child didn't act like that for her and the child "knows who to play." I just rolled my eyes and walked on. Parent cancelled anyways. Smh. It's a coping mechanism. I've seen many teachers and TAs do this. They think it makes them look good, but it really does the opposite......it shows their insecurities.
     
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  30. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Students do know who to play. The teacher you are talking about doesn't sound too professional with her cussing, and she probably should be at the meeting, but she might be right in some way. I'm not insecure in any way nor are my TAs but it's a proven fact that a certain student of ours will act one way in our presence and another way in a different setting. I'm not going to waste my time with specifics (because you will probably roll your eyes) but that's the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.
     

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