Hi I'm doing better on week three into the school year but I'm starting to freak out again on Sunday night. There are so many nights I come home thinking, "what on earth was I thinking?" I teach special ed. learning handicapped, grades 2-3. I have 18 students and two aides. Several of my kids are violent, two have been arrested. The vp called the sheriff about one child last week. This boy returns tomorrow, he's been suspended for three days so far this year. It sounds awful, but I was glad he went after another teacher in the front office so they could see the behavior. All of the children in my class have attention issues, but with this small group of boys stirring the pot, I'm just dying- they bring it out in everyone. I'm attempting to do the positive reward system- stickers on the individual sticker chart for staying on task- prize box for a full sticker chart- and a class party for 100 charts filled- I'm stapling the sticker charts to the front wall. I send good news postcards home daily with two students. I feel so incredibly inadequate. I have the wee ones who still need help remembering to take the pencil out of the pencil box and they're pretty much getting ignored at times. I've made such an awful first impression with the principal and administration. I've requested assistance from my program specialist. So much of my aides' time is taken up in calming these boys, and I need them to run centers. When they do go to the office, they are sent back to class, and it has been made very clear I am to contact the parents first. But one day I had two aides chasing down a raging boy, 17 other special needs students in my class, and the office calling me to ask if I'd called the mom yet. That would have meant leaving the 17 others without teacher involvement. The academic skills in the class vary dramatically from non-readers to grade level readers. I'm so overwhelmed and feel so incredibly inadequate. Some of these children are tough inner-city little kids who said "crack whore" when I asked (stupidly) what names can't be used in my class. We've made dramatic improvement since the start of the year. But I'm sick to my stomach at the thought of this student returning and our little ordered world falling apart. Any advice?