Never thought I would have to say this

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Ms_C, Nov 9, 2013.

  1. Ms_C

    Ms_C Comrade

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    Nov 9, 2013

    Things I said Friday:
    1. Please don't lick that textbook.
    2. Just because he wiped lotion on you that does not give you the right to bite him.
    3. Ewww, seriously did you just pick that up off of the floor and put that in your mouth?

    And yes, I do teach 7th grade not kindergarten.
     
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  3. Pencil Monkey

    Pencil Monkey Devotee

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    Nov 9, 2013

    Sounds like me. Things I said last week to fifth graders:

    - Do not lick the pumpkin.
    - Civil war panties...drop the topic please.
    - Do not eat found food on the playground.
    - Do not stick your finger in the electrical socket.
     
  4. otterpop

    otterpop Aficionado

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    Nov 9, 2013

    I teach preschool and I am shocked by the variety of things kids will put in their mouths. I have a few students who will pick up random bits off the floor and eat them. EWWW.
     
  5. bros

    bros Phenom

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    Nov 9, 2013

    In Kindergarten I have to watch a few kids in particular to make sure they don't eat random things they find on the ground. One kid will pick something off the ground and when you tell him to throw it out, he'll just burst out into laughter.
     
  6. Go Blue!

    Go Blue! Connoisseur

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    Nov 9, 2013

    Friday, I had a conversation with a student that had me saying the following:
    "No, I don't want to go out with you ... No, I don't care if you're already 18 ... No, I won't change my mind after you graduate ... Yes, I see your mustache ..."

    High school boys. :rolleyes:
     
  7. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Nov 9, 2013

    Oh, these are so hysterical. Keep 'em coming, please.
     
  8. ecteach

    ecteach Devotee

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    Nov 9, 2013

    HA!
     
  9. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Nov 9, 2013

    Gentlemen, hold your balls until you get outside.
     
  10. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Nov 10, 2013

    Civil War panties? That would be an interesting topic! :lol:

    I love reading these!
     
  11. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Nov 10, 2013

    I think there is a "licking" epidemic going on...I have to tell kids to stop licking things every day :dizzy:
     
  12. BumbleB

    BumbleB Habitué

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    Nov 10, 2013

    In 8th grade, I find myself constantly saying, "Farting is natural. Everyone farts. We are not in preschool here, people. I will wait until you all can compose yourselves."
     
  13. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Nov 10, 2013

    I used to tell my 5th graders that farting was scheduled for 1:00 to 1:05 and was not allowed at any other time. The silliness of this distracted them from laughing at the bodily function.
     
  14. sue35

    sue35 Habitué

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    Nov 10, 2013

    One time, when I taught 5th grade, the kids were lined up for recess. The kids who were holding recess balls were goofing off so I said, "Everyone who alls ball, sit down!" Every boy sat down. Whoops!:blush:
     
  15. Barbd

    Barbd Rookie

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    Nov 14, 2013

    I teach 10 - 12:

    ~I will not pimp out my daughter. (Said to a student who said he would get an A on a test if I let him date my daughter).
    ~No, these beans aren't edible in this form, please don't eat them. (After a student put a bean in my hand that he had previously regurgitated!)
     
  16. GeetGeet

    GeetGeet Companion

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    Nov 14, 2013

    I teach high school and one 7th grade class.Things I said this week
    (Just a note: Most of these comments are laced with sarcasm that the kids totally expect from me at this point, and these comments actually do correct their behavior, thank goodness...):

    -Do not talk about eating rabbits during this lesson, please.
    -A ruler does not double as a propellor, so stop doing that.
    -A ruler does not double as a sword, so stop doing that.
    -So your "dream room"--the one you could design with unlimited funds--would have a Miley Cyrus theme?
    -Even though that glue looks like marshmallow fluff, you definitely should not eat it.
    -Wow I never would have imagined that piranhas could be that useful!
    -A paint brush should not be anywhere near anyone's ear. That said, if the color on your brush is also in the ear of your neighbor, you have implicated yourself.
     
  17. mazzystar

    mazzystar Rookie

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    Nov 14, 2013

    I had to tell my students that this, my room, is a No Twerking Zone.
     
  18. GeetGeet

    GeetGeet Companion

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    Nov 14, 2013

    Another gem:

    Adding an "f" to the beginning of the word "art" on my board is totally unoriginal. Do you think that I hadn't already thought of that when I was 5?
     
  19. El sol

    El sol Rookie

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    Nov 14, 2013

    Repeating words from the bottom up and then indicating to a student who forgot where we were:

    "We started from the bottom, now we're here."
     
  20. AHS_Fan

    AHS_Fan Rookie

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    Nov 14, 2013

    "Put her tooth back in the trashcan."

    :dizzy:
     
  21. Ms.SLS

    Ms.SLS Cohort

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    Nov 15, 2013

    -The word SWAG is not spelled S.W.E.G. If you're going to graffiti my board, at least do it correctly.

    - Do not blow your nose on a bleach wipe.
     

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