Nervous about going back.

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by ITeach4Him, Dec 30, 2011.

  1. ITeach4Him

    ITeach4Him Comrade

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    Dec 30, 2011

    I'm a little nervous to go back to school next week. One of my little students (2nd grade) lost her daddy in a car accident the day we let out for Christmas break.:( I am so, so sad for her family. I did attend the funeral and see my precious little student, but I'm so worried about how this family will handle this. She has several siblings all under the age of 12 and their lives changed in an instant.

    We do have a counselor on campus and I expect to be utilizing her, I'm just nervous about how to help her in the classroom. I've read through these boards to see what advice others had for this type of situation, but didn't find a lot.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
     
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  3. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    Dec 30, 2011

    Be understanding of her situation, but keep limits and structure in the classroom---she'll need it. If you find that you need to, cut back her assignments so that she can go home and spend time with her family.
     
  4. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Dec 30, 2011

    :hugs: to your student. Just love her.
     
  5. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    Dec 30, 2011

    Th structure of school will be a welcome relief to her, I'm sure. Staying busy during the day is a blessing.
     
  6. Tasha

    Tasha Phenom

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    I agree that the structure and routine of school will likely be comforting.
     
  7. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    That poor baby. I agree that school might be a relief from the crushing sadness that her home might be right now. I can't even imagine their pain. She's so lucky to have a teacher that notices and cares right now.
     
  8. ITeach4Him

    ITeach4Him Comrade

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    Dec 30, 2011

    At the funeral she looked so lost, like she didn't understand why we were gathered like that. She seemed more surprised to see me and her teachers from last year. She gave me the biggest hug. I agree that the normal routines will be best for her. I just wonder how/if she'll tell the other students, how they will react, etc. I just want her to be o.k. Gosh, when you are self-contained, these kiddos are your family!
     
  9. 1st-yr-teacher

    1st-yr-teacher Comrade

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    Dec 30, 2011

    I had a student who lost his father suddenly. He came back after being out for several days. He did okay. He would often complain of his stomach hurting and was just pitiful. :( I felt so bad for him. I was just there for him and tried to keep the routine. He ended up moving a week later.

    I think of him often. He was such a sweet boy.
     
  10. CFClassroom

    CFClassroom Connoisseur

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    Dec 31, 2011

    I'm sure she'll find the comfort and structure of class to be helpful.

    I would just suggest being cautious about what you read in class. Preview all books with her in mind. Try to avoid stories where a father is the main character, etc.

    If possible you might also offer to keep her after school for a bit for extra support. I'm sure they won't be reading as much or be able to tend to homework. It would be a nice gesture.
     
  11. ITeach4Him

    ITeach4Him Comrade

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    Jan 4, 2012

    Just an update...today was HARD! First thing she said as she came in was I think the principal is going to make an announcement about my dad. This floored me because I KNEW he would never! She told me she thought we needed to tell our class about her dad and I offered to let her do it (as the counselor suggested I should). She said that she wanted me to. I told them as gently as I could that her daddy had died and that we would understand if she got sad, upset, or needed a friend and that's when she fell apart. I couldn't stop myself from tearing up. At that moment the counselor came in, thank goodness! She took her out of the room to visit with her while I helped the rest of the class understand what she may be going through. They were so sweet, but I could tell they didn't know how to respond either! She had several bouts of crying today and just buried her little head into her hands. I tried to keep our pace in the classroom to keep her little mind busy. I just hugged her and loved her when she would come to me and we read a book the counselor gave me to read with her called "Someone I Love Died." She has LOTS of questions and misses her daddy terribly!:(

    At this point, I'm just praying for the wisdom to lead her through the rest of this year with all of the normal, day to day routine that she has known all year. The book explained that she WOULD be happy again someday, and I'm will remind her that ANY emotion she is feeling is OK!
     
  12. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Jan 4, 2012

    I really feel for you. I was in this same situation last year. My student's mom passed away from cancer. It was very tough. He was in denial at first. The kids asked him about it and he said that he mom was still alive. He is a very strong cookie and doesn't like to show emotion, but I could see the difference in his behavior. I think everyone has already given you really great advice. You just need to be there for her. Everyone's grieving process is different (and I myself, who has now lost 3 family members, grieved differently with each of their passing), so I think you should just be supportive to her and her family. Mopar also hit on a very big thing. Ease up on homework for a while, and just give her as much time as she needs.
     
  13. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Jan 5, 2012

    Hugs...there will be some difficult days ahead for you and your student. The structure, familiarity and caring of the classroom will be very helpful; it sounds as though there is a wonderful support system in place for her there.
     

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