Neighbor situation...wwyd?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by waterfall, Jul 8, 2012.

  1. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    Jul 10, 2012

    I definitely wouldn't call her...she'll have your number then :whistle:
    But, I would definitely thank her for the invitation and say that you're just overwhelmed with moving, etc...blah, blah, blah. On second thought...just keep it brief; no need for any explanations.
     
  2. waterfall

    waterfall Virtuoso

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    Jul 10, 2012

    Also on the "people being outside" conversation, I get how it can be irritating. I don't have a/c, so unless I want to suffocate windows open are pretty much a must in the summer. It is irritating to constantly hear the kids screaming/banging around outside. It's hard to sit down and enjoy a tv show or a book or something...but, I recognize this is part of apartment living and of course I don't say anything. I mean, it is annoying but it's not like I can be mad at kids for playing. I say hi to people, but otherwise I mostly keep to myself. I've never really lived anywhere (even growing up in a suburb) where people were really buddy-buddy with the neighbors so it's not that strange to me. I have a couple of friends that live in the same complex, but they're several buildings a way so not really "neighbors."
     
  3. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    Jul 11, 2012

    Whether she feels bad or not isn't your concern. Hearing the neighbors upstairs "walking around" is part of living in an apartment. The woman was WAY out of line to bang on your door and yell at you. Her threat to call the cops was just ludicrous. Frankly, I would have told her to go ahead, call the cops and see how that works out for her.

    You were doing NOTHING wrong. You have a right to walk in your own apartment and you have NO obligation to make your schedule conform to hers. As long as you aren't jumping up and down on the floor, playing loud music or have your TV blaring, it's really none of her business.

    I also thought the invitation might be her way of trying to apologize, but I still wouldn't go, especially since you are out of there permanently in just a couple of weeks. Also, since her attitude has been more of "Thank you for quieting down", accepting the invitation might send the message you realize you were the one being "inconsiderate", which is not the case at all. Given her attitude after the incident, it seems like the dinner is more of her saying "Thank you for realizing you were being too loud. Now that you've changed your ways, I'm willing to consider being friends with you." Uh Uh, Sorry. My reaction to that would be KMA. But then I'm becoming a bit of a curmudgeon as I get older. :lol:

    We have an issue with our neighbors too, well actually with their guests. We have a shared driveway between our houses that is specifically designated in both deeds as belonging equally to both of us, so neither of us are supposed to block the driveway or use it exclusively as ours. We've never blocked the drive, but their guests park their cars their regularly. I like our neighbors and want to stay on good terms with them, but they KNOW they aren't supposed to let their guests park there. We don't use the driveway that much because we have another one on the other side of the house, but it does irritate me when their guests block the drive.

    As for the "front yard" conversation, I don't see anything annoying about people enjoying their own yard because it is their yard and some people just enjoy "puttering" around in their yard doing different things. My mom is like that, she really enjoys just doing different little jobs in the yard whether it is trimming bushes, pulling weeds, raking leaves, etc. It is something she enjoys and relaxes her. Me? I don't like yard work at all. I don't even like mowing the grass, but others love it.

    Unless they are running their lawnmower or leaf blower at 8am on Saturday or 9pm during the week, they are not "imposing" anything on their neighbors by simply being outside in their yard.
     
  4. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jul 12, 2012

    [.
     
  5. mollydoll

    mollydoll Connoisseur

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    Jul 12, 2012

    Our neighbors gave me mean, disgusted looks every time they saw me for the longest time, but were very friendly with my parents. I would wave and say hello, but they always totally ignored me even when I knew they saw me.

    Recently, I found out it was because they thought I was a lazy, sorry, worthless excuse of a mooch daughter who treated her parents abominably because they do all the yard work and my 60+ yr old mother cleared all the big snows we had and I've never helped with anything. (she is the only truly able bodied soul in the house; dad and I are hopeless)

    My dad is a bit of a gossip and I guess recently told them about my disability and surgeries and year long physical therapy, so now suddenly the neighbors are friendly.

    I had a similar problem at my last apartment. They resented that I got a close handicapped spot when as far as they could tell I can walk normally (I can, for short distance when I'm not carrying groceries; that doesn't mean I can do so across the lot). They complained to the complex that I didn't really need it.

    The apartment before that, they all hated me and my roommate because we would call the cops on them after the third 3am party in a row during finals week. That didn't go over well. We also reported them for setting off illegal fireworks next to the building and cars.

    Actually, I can't remember ever having non-judgemental neighbors, especially when we lived in a small town. If I had nice neighbors, I'd bring cookies! Actually I baked cookies for my mom to take to the neighbors here who were mean to me.
     
  6. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    Jul 12, 2012

    One of the many blessings of living in a rural area is the strength of community among the residents. I know all of our neighbors and they know me. We don't have neighborhood get-togethers, but I know I can count on ANY neighbor if I ever needed their help and they know the same is true of me and the rest of the neighborhood as well.

    Yes, we may have our small conflicts, but those are always put aside when a neighbor needs help.

    In my experience, if you look for the worst in people, you will find it. Fortunately, if you look for the best in people, you will find that as well.
     
  7. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Jul 12, 2012

    :thumb:
     
  8. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    Jul 12, 2012

    My neighbors are friendly, but I wouldn't say we're friends. My street has an odd combination of elderly people and younger, more transient families. I think we're *developing* a friendship with the lady and her mom who live across the street. I do believe I could call on them in an emergency, and I know they watch the house for us when we're gone (as we do for them). Two years ago a couple with a daughter the same age as mine moved in across the street and I was really excited! The wife and I graduated from the same university, and her husband was a band geek, too, so I thought we had a lot in common, but they seemed a bit distant. Then about a year or so ago, two men started banging on my door in the middle of the night screaming for my neighbor. It was very scary. Of course I didn't answer or respond, and they went away, but it made me nervous about what might be happening across the street now. :(
     
  9. mollydoll

    mollydoll Connoisseur

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    Jul 12, 2012

    My experience in a small town proved this to be true unless you were new. My very first day at school, I got hate notes in my locker. My dad grew up in that town. My mom was told that foreigners should go back where they come from. To this day, I can't enter the state of Ohio without actually pulling over and throwing up from all the stress and anxiety.

    Overall though, that is true. But I think there has been a change against being neighborly over the years. Not at all like I remember from growing up on military bases where there was a huge sense of community.

    In my college town, I don't think anyone ever really knew their neighbors. My last place, we never saw anyone except to wave, and the complex before that, people only ever knew the obnoxious neighbors, though we did get to be good friends with some others when meeting in the halls outside at 3am when the booming techno knocked us out of bed. :lol:

    Where we live now is a gated lake community, but I think many people have such long commutes that nobody has time to do much.
     
  10. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Jul 12, 2012

    mollydoll, I'm sorry about the string of bad circumstances you've had w/ neighbors! The neighbors I talked about earlier on either side of my parents who are always outside aren't bad people. They're nice & one of them even offered to powerwash my parents' house, which they nicely declined. From time to time, both neighbors have done a few nice little things & the fact that my parents are elderly probably helped influence their kind actions.
     

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