negative people

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Lindsnh, Jun 17, 2014.

  1. Lindsnh

    Lindsnh Companion

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2006
    Messages:
    140
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 17, 2014

    How do you all deal with negative people? I have a close friend who is negative all the time about everything! She always thinks of the worst case scenario. When people tell her to be more positive she blows up and says "why be positive when nothing but negative comes by way." In my opinion she kinda brings the negative on herself because she puts herself in situations that make it happen.

    Example:
    We had an ice storm in January which made a tree fall onto her ac unit. She got her insurance check to get it repaired but never got the work done. Cut to now where it's 100 degrees outside and humid. Well she has been trying to get someone to repair her unit because she has no air. Two separate repair men never came, so she has been sweltering in her home for two weeks now that the weather really kicked in. She has been whining, bi&*hing, and fussing about being so hot. I gave her two company names that do excellent work , but she wouldn't call them. If she would have gotten the work done back in January she wouldn't be in this situation!


    Don't get me wrong I myself can be negative at times, but not 24/7.
    She is just always like poor me nothing ever goes my way.

    I just want to say you have a job, a free home that her grandmother willed to her, your health, and friends. Why do you act this way?
     
  2.  
  3. Major

    Major Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2005
    Messages:
    1,620
    Likes Received:
    5

    Jun 17, 2014

    Tell you close friend straight up that you are tired of his/her negative behavior .... You don't have to "deal" with this person. Move on.
     
  4. 4815162342

    4815162342 Companion

    Joined:
    May 17, 2014
    Messages:
    211
    Likes Received:
    13

    Jun 17, 2014

    I have a friend who is similar, but her negativity comes with the dating scene. Or lack thereof.... She often gets into self pity modes where she asks if its her, and what's wrong with her, why don't guys like her, and blah blah. Usually I just smile and nod.
     
  5. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

    Joined:
    May 24, 2008
    Messages:
    3,513
    Likes Received:
    15

    Jun 17, 2014

    I'm getting ready to tell someone: Unless you're willing to discuss solutions, I'm not going to listen to your complaints.
     
  6. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2005
    Messages:
    5,875
    Likes Received:
    1,379

    Jun 17, 2014

    I distance myself from those people.
     
  7. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2006
    Messages:
    4,858
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 17, 2014

    I saw a speaker recently who said that the reason many negative people get that way is that their behavior is rewarded. We agree with them "yes, that's terrible-you must be getting so hot without your air conditioning"-out of empathy or politeness, but it eggs them on. Whenever a negative person starts saying something negative, I have started just trying to say something positive about the situation and then walk away. Oh your air is not fixed yet, hey at least you won't have a high electric bill this month-see ya later. It works-people either stop complaining around you or they stop talking to you altogether-neither seems like a big loss to me.
     
  8. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2010
    Messages:
    1,150
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 19, 2014

    What a frustrating friend! I have a pal who admittedly is in a pretty crummy place in life (her parents were really strict when she was growing up, so after HS, she went BUCK WILD. Started partying, drinking, smoking, skipping classes in college until finally she got kicked out, got fired from a good job that had career potential, ran up credit cards, dated several losers, then got pregnant by her ex-boyfriend. Now she's a single mother who can't get a better job because she has so little education and she can't go back to school b/c her credit is shot and no one will give her a loan)

    Anyhow, her life has sucked for YEARS and like your friend, she rarely has anything positive to say. In fact, she would actually argue with me when I'd try to be positive or offer her suggestions to try and help her out the rut, she'd keep shooting them down.

    I used to send her job announcements for non-degree positions (ie: secretary, paraprofessional, media aide, aftercare supervisor, etc) because there's potential to move up, plus you get benefits (she doesn't have insurance).

    Her response? "I bet they'll never even see my application because 1,000 other people applied. I've already applied for other stuff and didn't hear back. This'll be no different so I'm not gonna waste my time."

    It's hard, but I have had to give her A LOT of space. I still text her a couple times a month, went to her baby's church dedication, and whenever there's a group event (she tends to be less negative when there's more people around) I'll invite her. But we don't spend nearly the time together that we used to.

    When someone is drowning you can help them for awhile, but if keep trying to pull you in as hard as you're trying to pull them out, eventually you have to let go and get back on the ship (while keeping a life preserver out for them of course)
     
  9. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

    Joined:
    May 13, 2004
    Messages:
    5,873
    Likes Received:
    158

    Jun 21, 2014

    For me, a friend would have had to turn into a constantly negative person in which case I would cease the friendship because I sure wouldn't become friends w/ someone like this. It's way too frustrating, tiring, & life is too short for that.
     
  10. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2007
    Messages:
    6,873
    Likes Received:
    229

    Jun 21, 2014

    I am a very positive person and as such do not like to be around negative people. I would just start spending less time with her.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. miss-m,
  2. Ima Teacher,
  3. unsurtoto09
Total: 407 (members: 3, guests: 377, robots: 27)
test