Need some understanding and support, please!

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Ghost, Mar 20, 2009.

  1. Ghost

    Ghost Habitué

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    :help:
    Thursday one of my assistants told the principal that I "popped" one of my students (moderately disabled) in the mouth because her tongue was out. I was suspended, had to turn in my keys, and was escorted off campus while CPS investigates. I've had 3 different news crews on my doorstep today and my name is all over the paper, internet, and local TV as well as getting death threats to me and my children. I can tell you that these allegations are false, that the assistant is trying to tell the principal whatever she thinks they want to hear because she needs her job, that intense special needs classes are extremely prone to allegations-this is the second time for me, but will you believe me?

    I have dozens, if not 100s of pictures of bruises, bites, scratches, and injuries that I've sustained at the hands (and teeth) of one of my students--one who even outside professionals say needs to be hospitalized--yet I am the one being investigated for abuse. In fact, I'd submitted a letter of resignation two weeks before this supposed incident due to the amount of abuse that I was forced to endure and lack of administrative support. And yes, I did touch the child's lips with my fingers to prompt her to put her tongue in, but it's now "slapped," "smacked," "bopped" or "flipped" her depending on the news station.

    I am having a hard time keeping it together. I want to quit immediately, but the union says I shouldn't. THe union president said that he will personally escort me to the school after hours to clean out my personal items---nearly anything in the room. :dizzy:
    I am so done with teaching! I am so done...with everything! I just want to pull the covers over my head and go to sleep forever. Please tell me that I'm not the only one who's gone through this. How do I keep my kids safe? How do I go on?
     
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  3. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    Ghost,

    I haven't been through it. You know what happened and you need to stay strong, for yourself and your kids. This will die down, it will.

    I don't know what to tell you except that I would retain a lawyer and keep your union informed of everything. (I guess- heck I don't even know)

    I'm sorry.

    lemon
     
  4. Go 4th

    Go 4th Habitué

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    I also don't know what to say. I am so sorry this is happening.
    My prayers are certainly with you and your children.
     
  5. seduflow

    seduflow Companion

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    I am so sorry to hear! I wish you the best. But this annoys me so much. THERE IS NO POINT OF HAVING STUDENTS LIKE THAT IN SCHOOL! Send them away...but school is meant for learners, not students that are abusers!
     
  6. webmistress

    webmistress Devotee

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    This is tragic. I'm sorry to hear this. I don't know what to tell you. :(
     
  7. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Most people will disagree with that since ALL students have the right to be in school. Whether or not they are placed in the RIGHT school...that is something different.

    I sympathize with you Trinda! :hugs:
     
  8. Ms Petunia

    Ms Petunia Rookie

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    I feel so terribly awful for you. Stay strong (I'll say a prayer) and listen to the advice of your Union. Things like this happen in school, unfortunately your situation has been blown out of proportion due to the media getting involved.
    My first year teaching a parent acused the bruises on her child's back had come from school, namely from me or my aid. I was a nervous wreck.
    It only got as far as a police investigation/interview, it never got as far as CPS getting invovled. I was so upset and I could not believe that one person could destroy something I had worked so hard for with a lie. In the end the case was dropped.
    Maybe the truth will come out. If the assistant is questioned repeatedly she may be inconsistent with her story. CPS is experienced in people making false accusations, if nothing is concrete the case will be considered "unfound" and dropped.
     
  9. SwOcean Gal

    SwOcean Gal Devotee

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    You seem like you are a very loving and dedicated teacher. I am sorry this is happening. What a terrible environment to be working in and just being surrounded in now. This is awful. I am sorry- I will pray for you.
     
  10. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    I am so sorry that you are going through this. I don't even know what to say, but please know that we support you. Be strong and pray, and you will get through this...
     
  11. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Yup, been there, know how your are feeling, and it is not good. At least you have a union to help you out. I sure don't blame you for bing angry. Don't say anything to the media. Stand firm in your statement, and don't discuss this with another teacher. You have my support, my thoughts, and good wishes that this will pass quickly.
     
  12. Ghost

    Ghost Habitué

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    Thank you all so much~I don't have friends outside of the school, and they have all been instructed not to speak to me. I am feeling shunned by my so-called friends and prosecuted by the press. I am glad that I have someoneto speak with! Thank you.
     
  13. eduk8r

    eduk8r Enthusiast

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    That is really awful. I am so sorry. You didn't deserve any of that. We will be praying for you and your family. And when this is over, you really should think about pressing charges yourself and filing a law suit. This is just wrong.
     
  14. leighbball

    leighbball Virtuoso

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    I am so sorry for your situation. I agree that you need to talk to a lawyer. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts!!
     
  15. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Please keep us posted on how you are doing.
     
  16. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    :hugs: we'll be your friends here. We don't judge. Come to us whenever you need to talk!
     
  17. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    Ghost, don't quit, listen to your union rep. I just hate it when the innocent are persecuted, why should you have to quit if you're innocent?

    Hang in there, this too shall pass!!

    I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Hugs.

    I have a good male friend who was accused of molesting a little girl. The little girl was quite creative about how she sat on the coach's lap. Rumors, investigations, lots of tears, and a campus transfer helped him though it. He's a great guy and didn't deserve any of this.

    We just have to be extremely careful about touching any kid, they can turn on you in a heart beat. Staff members who are jealous can be brutal.
     
  18. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Your union should be able to arrange some legal help for you.
     
  19. Missy99

    Missy99 Connoisseur

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    Best wishes to you.
     
  20. Ghost

    Ghost Habitué

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    The news keeps showing up on my door step. I know this is retaliation for my resignation...the aide who dumped on me would do anything to keep her job. Thank you for the support!
     
  21. seduflow

    seduflow Companion

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    They dont belong in a regular public school! There is no need for this teacher to be suffering because of some students whose parents can't teach them morals. If i was bruised by a student, I would notify the parent right away! A child does not have to be bright to have proper behavior.

    Often times we let special ed kids have a pass
     
  22. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    Did you resign???
     
  23. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    A non-verbal student will be violent when they are unable to make themselves understood. Wouldn't you be? If you were trying to tell someone something or get something and they just didn't understand you? Wouldn't you get frustrated? Many non-verbal students have intellectual ages far younger then their physical or actual age. They are sometimes like toddlers, who kick, punch, bite, scream and hit - all because of communication difficulties.

    Understanding that isn't giving these kids a pass. The kids are still punished for their misbehaviour, but the expectations placed on them are not the same as those placed on "regular" students.

    A student with FAS or ADD or ADHD that has difficulty understanding cause and effect relationships may or may not become violent when they are younger because they act on impulse and may not learn from punishments. They may not have the intellectual capability to understand WHY they are being punished, even if it is explained to them.

    It is NOT the parent's fault. It is not the teacher's fault. Nor is it the child's.
     
  24. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    The OP taught in a self contained room for children with severe disabilities. Please check your facts before you make assumptions and spread bigiotry. That sort of thing has no place on these forums.
     
  25. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Sedu- quite a few of your current posts have a negative vibe in them about special education that's offensive. You admit to being only 24 in your thread about 'where are the young teachers?'...Fortunately not all young teachers are as naive and close minded as you. Please develop some empathy and compassion for students of all learning abilities. I worry for those you teach.
     
  26. Historygeek

    Historygeek Companion

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    I am so sorry you are going through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you. In the end the truth will come out. If your union is not providing a lawyer for you, you need to get one soon so that someone with knowledge and experience can help you.
     
  27. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    EEK- ghost, I just read your first post- when you say 'how do I keep my kids safe', do you mean your family? How horrible that this is on the news.
    Is the lip tap that you used standard practice for modifying student behavior?
    I can't imagine the stress this is causing you.:(
     
  28. larana

    larana Rookie

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    I am sorry this has happen to you. I know that you did not slap that student. I work with life skill students and we are there because we love them and care for them. Hang in there and defend yourself from the bad person you left behind with those children.
     
  29. MJH

    MJH Companion

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    Lawyer

    I would talk with a lawyer and see if any defamation of character charges can be placed against the aide because that is exactly what she is doing and it's against the law. I'm a firm believer in holding people acountable for their actions. We are held accountable and we hold children accountable as teachers so now it's time for the rest to be held accountable.

    Once cleared of these charges I would sue aide for expenses you incur for the counciling you and your children will need after this ordeal. She will ready need to worry about keeping a job then.

    I am sorry that you must deal with this but unfortunately this comes with the job. I hope you really think before you decide to leave the profession. Not all admin or aides are this horrible.

    I guess by now you have noticed that I have very little patience for ignorant adults.
     
  30. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    Ghost, I saw this yesterday (maybe a different thread, though?) and I want to make two comments...first, I'm glad you changed your screen name. You need to be careful with confidentiality right now. Anything you say to anyone (and everything you post here is available to EVERYONE) can be evidence. Protect yourself.

    Second, I think you need to contact your lawyer, via your union if you have one, and set about clearing your name. We all touch kids, and it's usually 100% innocent. The bad teachers that were not innocent in their touches have made it so difficult for the rest of us to do anything that we would consider "normal." I would never not hug a child who is trying to give me a hug....yet, each time I do, I worry about the repercussions....I am so sorry this happened to you.
    Kim
     
  31. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    I so agree. When I saw your thread yesterday, I was able to find out your full name and where you had worked. Not that I was trying to be snoopy, but I was going to let you know just what Kim had stated.

    Sending good vibes to you.
     
  32. Kangaroo22

    Kangaroo22 Virtuoso

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    I'm sorry that you're going through this.
     
  33. FarFromHome

    FarFromHome Connoisseur

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    My mom teaches special education also. Last year she was in a severe/profound class-those kids would definitely not be hitting someone because of a lack of parenting-it would be because the didn't know what they were doing. I have a half brother on my dad's side who is pretty severely handicapped-and I would hope no one would ever say he shouldn't be in school.

    My mom had the same thing happen to her-but not as drastic. A para in the room told the principal that she had screamed at a student, and I'm not sure what else she accused her of. It was all completely untrue, but that's why my mom is in a different classroom this year. Special education takes a lot of dedication. I had never seen my mom teach until a year or two ago-and I could tell by walking in how much she loved those kids. I'm sure that you are the same with your students. I hope that there will be some resolution to this soon so that you and your family can be left alone by the media.
     
  34. time2teach

    time2teach Companion

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    If you are getting threats you need to report it to the police immediately! Also if you own your home you should be able to file a trespassing complaint.
    You should also be sure you and your kids close any facebook, etc. accounts.

    Hope it all gets straightened out. Hang in there.
     
  35. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Ghost- how's it going this week?
     
  36. Go 4th

    Go 4th Habitué

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    Still thinking of you and saying lots of prayers.
     
  37. Muttling

    Muttling Devotee

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    WOW!!!!


    With every SPED teacher I meet, I find a new hero to look up to. You folks should be held in great regard for the work you do. Not handed this kind of treatment.

    The advice above is very good. Get with people who are going to look out for YOUR best interest. Namely your lawyer and your union.

    My prayers are with you.
     

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