need some suggestions

Discussion in 'Early Childhood Education Archives' started by Margo, Nov 19, 2004.

  1. Margo

    Margo Devotee

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    Nov 19, 2004

    I have a kindergarten child who is extremely bright.... wonderful vocabulary, can read most simple words, is learning how to apply letter/sounds to writing, soaks information up like a sponge. My problem is he is loud and bossy. He is definately a leader in the class. Problem is, he seems to be the only one so his bossiness continues because it is feeding his desire to be in charge. I know the day will come when he meets another strong leader and then they will butt heads. I am trying to make him understand that he doesn't always have to be the one in charge. Problem #2, he is extremely loud. Hearing has already been tested. It is fine. He is not necessarily loud within the context of the classroom itself. It is more at unstructured times. (arrival, lunch, PE, recess, dismissal). He just seems to be very excited and wants to be the one being heard (relating back to leadership issue). I have spoken to Mom and she sees both of these problems at home also. How do you solve these kinds of problems? I am better at fixing learning problems rather than personality problems. Any suggestions???
     
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  3. Amanda

    Amanda Administrator Staff Member

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    Nov 19, 2004

    It sounds like he is gifted. Often those kids have the most trouble with personality issues! What about guiding him into appropriate leadership positions? For instance, my gifted kids often liked to read books to others in the morning (when kids were coming in, going to breakfast, etc.) The other kids would often ask him/her to read the harder books. I had a set of Zoobooks magazines that the kids loved. The reading level was not kindergarten by any means, but my gifted student could read most of the captions under pictures.

    One student in particular was very sensitive and got his feelings hurt very easily. The other boys had trouble relating to him, so his best friend in the class was a very bright girl. When troubles would arise, I would have talks with him to help him think about how other kids feel, etc. Maybe you will just have to wait until a problem arises and hope that you can use it as a teachable moment.

    I bet he doesn't even realize he is talking so loudly. I wonder if there is a way to get him to self-monitor his voice level? What have you tried so far?
     
  4. sandimreyes

    sandimreyes Comrade

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    Nov 19, 2004

    WOW Amanda! I can't believe it! I was reading the description and thinking the same thing....this kid is gifted! I also agree with a lot of your suggestions. I find that the hardest part of dealing with the gifted children IS the social aspect. They need to be TAUGHT appropriate social interaction.

    I have one just like yours, Margo.

    I am trying really hard to make sure that my little boy sees that he can gain rewards even when he's not the best and get NO reward sometimes when he IS the best. Does that make any sense? I set up things quite often to make sure these situations occur in order to constantly reinforce it with him. I praise him when he does kind things and when he lets someone else be in charge. It is a slow process, but I can see some small differences.

    I have to say that I am also kind of hard on him when he is unkind with his bossiness or overeagerness to please. At times, I find it necessary to reprimand him for it. Because he needs to be "the best" at everything, he doesn't like "getting in trouble" so he will usually try to "get in line" with the class.

    Lastly, I work really hard at doing lots and lots of activities that encourage teambuilding with the whole class. Again, because he wants to always be successful, he will get in line and work with the team in order to do the work properly and receive a compliment. In time, I am hoping that it translates into a desire to do it for the intrinsic value of it.

    I'll just leave you with this story about my little boy...

    Today was our Kindergarten Thanksgiving Feast. The kids were all dressed in their pilgrim and Indian costumes and we went on parade around the school just so that everyone could see us. As we walked around, many people complimented them on how cute they looked. My gifted child commented that because we had rec'd 2 compliments, they should get 2 party points. (Party points are part of a whole group behavior system that I use.) I explained to him that the compliments were for how good they looked, not how well behaved they were, so they didn't count. Upon arriving back in our classroom, my gifted one walks to the carpet and mumbles under his breath, "Well....THAT was useless!"

    AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! I wish they could just be 5 and enjoy life! :)
     
  5. hometeacher

    hometeacher Companion

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    Nov 19, 2004

    can you do Grace and Courtesy Exercises.

    Make up a scenario and you one on one with the child or as a group can act out .
    Example.

    Grace and courtesy : asking permission to borrow
    : asking for help
    :introducing a person
    : Pardon me, please
    the direct aim of these activities to
    -develop attention and conentration,
    -courtesy,
    - consideration for the interests of the classroom,
    -graciousness and poise
     
  6. Margo

    Margo Devotee

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    Nov 19, 2004

    I have been thinking, too, that he may be gifted. I know that the gifted often have personality issues similar to this one. I didn't want to say so to Mom though, until I can refer him for gifted testing.

    I do feel like maybe I need to do some teambuilding exercises in the classroom. Perhaps some more cooperative learning activities that build cohesiveness. The problem I described is the same as he has at home with his 2 year old sister. He is very bossy with her telling her "THIS is the way to do it". Of course the two year old doesn't get it. When Mom tells him to let sister do it the way she wants, he gets very huffy. Like it is his way or no way.

    Amanda, I haven't tried much to monitor his voice level because it is often at times when I am not directly present. At arrival, they wait outside my classroom door until 8:00. I can hear him through the closed classroom door. At dismissal, he sits on the bench waiting for his car, while I am helping to load and direct traffic. His mom heard him yelling through closed car windows. Mom suggested pulling him away (not time out, per se, but time away) when he cannot talk in a reasonable inside voice. I am considering trying that.

    Thanks for the suggestions. If anyone has any more, please keep them coming. This is a tough one for me.
     

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