Need some help at my wit's end

Discussion in 'First Grade' started by Jill420791, Oct 11, 2008.

  1. Jill420791

    Jill420791 Companion

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    Oct 11, 2008

    I have a first grader who for the past two weeks has been acting up. He doesnt want to do his work and he finds excuses not to do his work. Lately he has been screaming and yelling disrupting the class the principal had to come and get him. In the past two week he has been with the principal almost everyday. Nothing phases him we have taken free time away from him, tried an incentive chart with, good notes NOTHING WORKS! His mom is a single mom of 4 and she said she has no clue what to do with him. I worry going in everyday because I never know how he is going to be when he comes in. Little things will set him off! If we do something he doesnt want to do he screams and throws things. I tried moving him to a corner desk to work alone he tears up his work. PLEASE HELP!:unsure:
     
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  3. DHE

    DHE Connoisseur

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    Oct 11, 2008

    he sounds like he needs to be on a behavior plan with short term goals. You are going to to have to take things slow with him. At the same time, you can't let him disrupt your class because the other students are looking.
     
  4. Sarge

    Sarge Enthusiast

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    Oct 11, 2008

    Someone needs to tell mom that such behavior from a first grader is VERY outside the norm. Outright defiance from first graders is more than just a behavior issue, but also an indicator of a child in need of help that is beyond the scope of what we do as teachers.
     
  5. Jill420791

    Jill420791 Companion

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    You are both right! We have spoken to the Mom she has no clue what to do with him she said. She has taken everything away from him at home. She said he keeps doing this for attention and that we should isolate him in the office then he will get tired of being isolated. Really I feel like its a no win situation. Mom is a single mom of like I said before and she has her own business so she not always home with him from what I understand a much older sibling is watching him. He also has a twin sister that was left back in kindergarden her teacher said she has the same behavior issues with her but not as pronounced as his. UGH! I dont know what else to do with him! The principal said to just keep sending him to the office.
     
  6. trayums

    trayums Enthusiast

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    Oct 11, 2008

    Do you have a school psych. or social worker? Sounds like this is a case for them. Meanwhile, what does he love? Does he like to draw, or play a sport, or etc. Maybe you could choose a motivator?
     
  7. Jill420791

    Jill420791 Companion

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    Thats the thing nothing motivates him he will tell you he doesnt like anything! I had the counselor try to talk to him but with no luck! I am going to refer him to the psychologist maybe she can figure out whats going on. His Mom said they have nothing going on at home but that could be a lie. He was doing good the last two weeks he has started this behavior. He says he doesnt want to be at school he wants to go home he draggs his ffeet to get his work done.
     
  8. trayums

    trayums Enthusiast

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    Poor guy- (and poor you too-- that's really hard). There must be something going on with him. I hope that the psychologist will be able to help you with him and with a system that will work for him and for you!
     
  9. Jill420791

    Jill420791 Companion

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    You and me both! I have even been trying to research online plans that might work. I dont know . I referred him to the student support team so they are going to meet and try to come up with something. I am going to mention to them about referring him to the school psych.
     
  10. Beatifulchaos

    Beatifulchaos Rookie

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    I have had a kid like this almost every year since I started teaching. First of all, I would like to say that I know exactly how you feel, and it is TOUGH. Hang in there! Don't beat yourself up! It is the kid's issue, and it is not something that you have caused. Find a buddy teacher to vent to as that will help when he has had a rough day.

    Second, play tough. I have had one of these every single year. When it looks as if he is going to start having a tantrum then try to diffuse him. Give him a hug, talk softly to him, get in very close proximity with him.

    Do NOT allow him to throw things. The second you see him start, remove all items from around him and tell him that he will absolutely NOT throw things in your classroom. Remind him that it is YOUR CLASSROOM and THIS behavior is unacceptable.

    I would whip my cell phone out that second and call his mom. I would also make him talk to her.

    Also, if it gets really bad then immediately call for reinforcement from the office. Don't even go as far as to move him to the other side of the room.

    Get the other KIDS on your side. Don't allow these little outbursts to get him ANY attention. I am not always adverse to yelling, but with kids like this the yelling almost always makes them explode. Be firm. Don't talk all sweet to him but let him know that he will NOT run your classroom.

    Like I said since the FIRST year I started teaching, I have had at LEAST one child like this every single year. It used to really upset me until I made up my mind that this child would NOT keep my other kids from learning.

    He probably does need help from the school psychologist so I would document all of his behavior with time and dates and actions. I would go back and start from the very beginning. The more you document, the more likely you are to get him removed and into a program that can help him.

    Good luck honey! I know it is hard. God knows I wish it weren't like that, but stick in there. This too shall pass! Plus, remember the kid has issues, and they are probably deeper than anyone realizes. Diffusing him will probably help a lot. It has always helped me. In fact, if I see one of mine start to get that "look" that they are going to explode then I immediately take them into the hallway or diffuse them at their desk. Many times this will work, but there will be days that it won't. Don't give up!!!! You will see how strong you will are................and I bet it is pretty strong if you haven't quit by now. :)
     
  11. Beatifulchaos

    Beatifulchaos Rookie

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    The reason to get close to him is so that if he starts to run or walk away, you can retain him. Hold him firmly, but not too tight. Many teachers are scared to do this, but I have always explained to my principal and other parents that this is in the safety of the child and the other children in the class. If he were to hurt another child by throwing a chair or object then that would be a liability for the school.

    Go to a special ed teacher as well and ask them to show you how to properly physically hold a child like that so that you are covered in case anything ever should arise.
     
  12. Jill420791

    Jill420791 Companion

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    Oh I always do the cell phone I keep it on my desk. In fact I called his mom on Friday and put him on the phone. THANKS FOR ADVICE! It makes me feel better to chat with others.
     
  13. Beatifulchaos

    Beatifulchaos Rookie

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    hahahahahah Like I said, there are no easy answers, but it does help to talk to other people who have been there.

    Just between you and me, I had a first grader my FIRST year ( I actually took a position in the middle of the school year) that did something explosive EVERY single day. One day, he took off out of my room for a big highway, and another day he started acting like he was going to stab all of my kids with a pair of scissors. He also picked up a stool that I had purchased and acted like he was going to throw it at me. I felt like a prisoner. They don't prepare you for kids like that in teacher ed (or they didn't prepare me at least!). I felt hopeless and helpless, and I questioned every single day why I had even went into the teaching profession. I had quit smoking six months earlier (bad college habit) but picked it up again (along with eating Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies that I kept stashed in my closet) as a stress reliever. :)

    At the end of that year, I decided that I was NEVER going to teach again. Unfortunately, I couldn't NOT work so I had to find a job. I found one and wouldn't you know that I had another little girl who DID the same thing. They said she was bipolar. She would scream and throw things, including her body, against my door.

    I finally had had enough when year 2 at the new school, I got a kid who did the SAME thing as the other two. I asked my principal if I was being punished for something I had done. He just laughed (I was incredulous). The breaking point for me came when this kid threw a chair, and it HIT one of my other students. I vowed that I would not let that happen again. That's when I decided to start restraining them and taking my own action along with the office. I am not saying I am the guru, but I would let them know under NO circumstances would they act that way in MY classroom. I told them I didn't care if they acted like that since K-4, they wouldn't do it with me!

    I have never had one get out of control like I did my first two and a half years. I really think diffusing them works, but it is touch and go somedays. And you are right a little motivator rarely works because these kids usually have some mental issue or something bigger. It's almost as if they turn into a "Hulk like character" (sans the green eyes and body), and they are totally out of control.

    I bribed mine with candy, stickers, little dances, extra recess, heck I even tried to convince one that I was a personal elf of Santa, and I would be contacting him that EVENING! Nothing worked!

    Just hang in there sweetie, and DON'T quit! Those other kids need you, and this one does too. Believe it or not, he loves you a WHOLE lot. :)
     
  14. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    I am sorry you are dealing with all of this. I hope you have a plan for your other kids. If he acts up that horribly your kids or the child need to be removed from the classroom.
     

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