Need HELP with cover letter

Discussion in 'Job Seekers' started by Cj1976, Aug 15, 2014.

  1. Cj1976

    Cj1976 New Member

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    Aug 15, 2014

    Hi-
    I feel that my cover letter is not helping me make it pass the consideration for interview.

    I want a classroom of my own. I tried to find one last year after completing my Masters and working as an Aide for 3 years. It was getting to the end of summer and I ended up taking a K-5 Technology Teacher position to get my foot in the door. Now I feel that I am not being taken seriously or that people think that I am a computer teacher.

    I also think my cover letter is too long. Should I cut the educ. philosophy section since it is listed on top of my resume?

    Please help, I know it can be better, I am just not good at it.

    See below:

    To Whom it May Concern,

    I am expressing my interest in any full-time teaching positions open for the 2014-2015 School Year.

    I know that my experiences plus having completed my M.Ed at NNN College have prepared me well for my own classroom. Currently, I am employed by the ABC School District at DEF Elementary as the K-5 Elementary Computer teacher where I enthusiastically:

    *Develop a positive, well-managed learning environment which engages students and maximizes on-task behavior
    *Develop lessons and student activities that progress sequentially and are aligned to the state standards
    *Differentiate instructional delivery and activities to meet needs of all students
    *Collaborate with classroom teachers to integrate technology into school curriculum
    *Maintain a website that utilizes incorporated grade level lesson links and communication to families

    Throughout this school year, I received consistently positive feedback. I was rated "Proficient" during my evaluations.

    In 2012, I completed my internship at GHI Elementary School in Anytown, St under the supervision of Ms. MyMentor. Ms. MyMentor cited my creative lesson plans, classroom management, and my understanding of the Common Core and state standards as being of the highest quality. During my internship, I attended orientation programs, professional development workshops, several team RTI meetings, staff meetings, parent-teacher night and student evaluations. I was able to start my student teaching at the beginning of the school year during the important first six weeks of school. Ms. MyMentor expressed to me that she felt that I was more of a co-teacher than her student-teacher!

    As the parent of two school-aged sons, my goal is to be the teacher who makes positive contributions to your school and, most importantly, to your students. I am enthusiastic about returning to an elementary school classroom in which I can challenge students through a variety of instructional methods so that each child may reach his or her highest potential. With my many and varied educational and personal experiences, I bring a positive attitude and a skillful approach to meet a wide range of students' needs and learning styles.

    My educational philosophy is to be an innovative teaching professional who strives to provide an education that is meaningful, reliable, and engaging. I will strive to always be interested in helping children cultivate their problem solving and social skills and help them learn to be respectful to their peers. I feel it is important to be current with industry ideas and technology, and I aim to be creative with ways to support students to become excited about learning. I know I have the skills to provide opportunities for students to be active and engaged with the curriculum, resulting in a meaningful connection with information relevant to their lives.

    I am highly regarded as a team player and a skilled professional by the teachers and students with whom I have worked. I know that I can earn the same respect in your school district. I would like the chance to meet with you to discuss my qualifications and my suitability for this position or any other position which may be available. I look forward to hearing from you.


    I greatly appreciate any feedback,
    Candice
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 15, 2014
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  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Aug 15, 2014

    Your cover rehashes A LOT of what shoud be on your resume. Your desire to be considered for 'any' job seems incredibly generic and lacks passion. Your cover should be painting a picture of who YOU ARE AS AN EDUCATOR, but it just doesnt read that way...
    What excites you.what are your passions in being a teacher? Those kinds of things would make a better CL.:2cents:
     
  4. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    Aug 15, 2014

    I'm taking the liberty of editing out the specific personal details: you probably don't want them displayed for all the world to see.
     
  5. Cj1976

    Cj1976 New Member

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    Aug 15, 2014

    Thank you for that. I appreciate it.
     
  6. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    Aug 15, 2014

    Cj1976, I'm afraid I agree with czacza that your letter seems to be largely a rehash of your resume. In addition, it's thick with buzzwords. The result is a generic letter; pretty much anyone teaching pretty much anything could have written it.

    Have you got any stories about the difference YOU have made for a kid who was struggling?
     
  7. Cj1976

    Cj1976 New Member

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    Aug 15, 2014

    I totally agree about the rehash of the resume. I have edited a lot of it out.

    I am just having trouble figuring out a way to add a story in without getting to lengthy. I did have a 2nd grade student who was on the spectrum and we were going to be starting a fairly large project on the 7 continents. I wanted him to have success as he had been having a lot of trouble focusing on anything. I ended up coordinating with his teacher to have an Aide come in with him and we worked with him to chunk the activity. He would pick out what he wanted her to type. After they got three facts typed. He was rewarded by picking out some pictures to add to his project. At the end of the project, I took his picture with his book and he had a smile like I had never seen him have before. That made me so proud that he was so proud.

    How do I incorporate that into a cover letter? That I don't know how to do. More feedback please.
     
  8. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    Aug 15, 2014

    You don't add it in. You figure out what it says about you as a teacher that will be of interest to people in charge of hiring, and you restructure your letter to make that point among others.
     
  9. texashistory

    texashistory Rookie

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    Aug 16, 2014

    My :2cents:

    Keep it as is and chop the bolded parts and you'd good to go. The bolded are the rehase. Keeping it how it's flowing but editing out those large chunks gets to the grit of who you are and your experience.

    The bold you can talk about in an interview and/or have in your portfolio
     
  10. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    Aug 16, 2014

    I need to clarify what I said a few posts back.

    "Add it in" implies that you're taking the existing letter and grafting the story onto it. That would be a mistake. Instead, find a way to tell the story that makes an important point about who you are as a teacher, and then make the story one of the centerpieces of a new letter.
     
  11. vsimpkins

    vsimpkins Comrade

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    Aug 17, 2014

    A well written cover letter .....

    Paragraph 1 Introductory paragraph, in which you make a note of the position you are applying for and how you heard about it, along with a "Hook" (Why should I hire you or What's in it for me? (WIIFM))

    Paragraph 2-3 Sells you by mentioning your key attributes or traits that answer the quesion WIIFM for the employer

    Final Paragraph Ask for an interview, indicates the follow-up you will do, and say "Thank you"

    Check into your local junior college at their career services or your local worksource, they have wonderful resources.
     

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