Need help with an e-mail.../Sticky Situation

Discussion in 'General Education' started by RussianBlueMommy, Nov 2, 2017.

  1. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    Hi Everyone
    So being a fulltime/building sub, I often float to various classrooms throughout the day.
    Last year, there is a teacher that I took a 3 day job for and ended up getting extremely ill the morning before (throwing up, 103 fever, etc) Turned out I had a severe case of pneumonia and ended up being out of work for several weeks.
    Today, I was covering for the Art Teacher during her 4th period class while she was at a meeting. I leave cards with my info, and they have my info, thanking the teacher for letting me fill in and on the back I write any issues, absesnces etc. Teachers love them.
    The problem I saw, is that I had to come back and do her class again 7th period. The teacher who covered 6th period was the one I cancelled for last year. He left this on a post it note on top of my note

    "I have had her jobs for me three days. She cancelled at 7:30 that morning. I have had her blocked from my sub list b/c I cannot take the risk of my class not being covered (it is a 100% guarantee she would cancel on me again). Obviously you had better luck than I had. Sincerely, Mr......**

    Now, I do not think he was expecting me to come back 7th period or to even know he left the note. It makes me wonder how many other teachers he has done this to, and this year I have a great track record and got my health issues resolved. Here is the email I am considering writing to him and CC human resources. What do you think? I am going to sleep on it and not send it today


    "Hello Mr. *"

    I ended up subbing for Mrs.* again during 7th period and I saw the post-it note you left on my card. I feel it is unprofessional of you to have modified the note I left and my concern is that you will continue to try and dissuade teachers from wanting me as their sub.

    Regarding the times I cancelled last year: I had a lot of health problems going on. I do apologize that it put you in a bind and it is understandable that you would remove me from your sub list. However, I believe in going directly to the source when there is an issue (that is why I am e-mailing you directly). I got my health problems mostly sorted this year and have had very minimal cancellations and am building a track record of teachers who request me and ask me to sub for them, it how I stay busy five days a week if I wish.

    Another point I would like to bring up, is the day that you came into the room when I was subbing for Mrs. *, you specifically asked me if I would be able to also sub for her the next day. I was only in her room that day for one period because they pulled me during the teacher's conference and I was already booked up the next day so I told you I could not sub. It confuses me that if I am such an unreliable sub, that you would request I fill a spot for another teacher while at the same time telling a different teacher how horrible I am.

    I would like to think that two professional adults can have a reasonable conversation and not resort to leaving post-it notes about each other. It would have been a kind gesture for you to speak to me directly about the issues you had. Because I try to do the best job I can, and because I consider myself to be a professional, I will be leaving the post-it note for her to see because I would find it unprofessional to remove it since I did not write it."

    This is a draft I need to sleep on. I'm frustrated right now and not sure how to fully proceed. HR was involved back when I cancelled that day last year, so I should think about CC them right? Please help, I need advice.
    Another option would be to leave a second note but that just seems petty. His note reads like spiteful revenge and not simply "warning" a teacher.
     
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  3. TrademarkTer

    TrademarkTer Groupie

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    Most people will probably say let it go, but I know that is going to be hard to do. I think that just drafting the email, even if you don't send it, will make you feel a little better. If you do send the email, I don't think that I would CC human resources. Getting admin. involved just makes things stickier than they need to be, and will make him even more defensive.
     
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  4. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    Writing it was therapeutic to a degree. I just shared it with one of my close teachers at the school and she said “he holds grudges” and that she personally knew of 21 teachers in the school that have me on their top list. And to just ignore it. I did remove my card from the desk though so it’s just his random post it note on there .

    Just seems unprofessional of him .
     
  5. TrademarkTer

    TrademarkTer Groupie

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    Absolutely unprofessional of him. I also don't understand why he would be so upset about it---obviously someone had to have covered his classes.
     
  6. svassillion

    svassillion Companion

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    That would eat away at me and I think it needs to be addressed, otherwise this teacher will keep speaking about you to other teachers. Although I think the email is thoughtfully worded I feel like he'll get defensive as soon as he starts to read it and that prevents any change of mind to happen. I think maybe a better way to approach it would be to sit down with him face to face and explain how you found the note he left and how upsetting it was to read. Explain what had happened that morning you cancelled last minute and emphasize how dependable you've been this year for other teachers. But no matter what, go in level-headed and show reasoning so he's not feeling attacked (although that may be what he deserves but it doesn't help the situation). And to echo Trademark, don't get human resources involved right away. If he continues to be unprofessional to you afterwards you can bring it up, but doing so right away is a little hasty and will immediately stop him from ever changing his mind about you.

    If you choose not to address it, I doubt he'll have much influence on the other teachers' opinions of you. If their experiences working with you are good, they'll dismiss his rants because it conflicts with their own. Why was he so angry over that one morning? If he was out, it's not like it made more work for him.
     
  7. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    I don’t know why he is so angry. Over the past two years I have heard several teachers talk about how odd and unprofessional he is maybe he’s just like that?
     
  8. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    I think you should address it, but not with that email. Yours is too accusatory. An actual staff member will always win out in pissing wars with subs.

    Simply let him know why you missed covering his classes. Let him know how often you don't show when you've accepted an assignment. Leave it at that.

    FTR, I ALWAYS tell my coworkers when I've had a bad experience with a sub. I do not think it was unprofessional for him to let his know that he had a rough experience with you. He was wrong in what he said, but not why he said it.
     
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  9. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    I am not just a sub anymore (see previous posts). I am a full-time employee there, a building sub/inclusion.

    It's also important I think, to remember that subs are human. They get sick, they get injured and they too have family emergencies come up. I understand why he took me off his list, but it seems unprofessional (almost 2 years later) to be trying to sabotage me by speaking so militant and childish about me." The quote at the end "Obviously, you have had better luck than me"... is just a stab and was not a constructive statement.
     
  10. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    I wouldn't send that. I wouldn't even consider CCing HR.

    While the circumstances under which you cancelled the job are completely understandable, it's also completely understandable for the teacher to be upset about it. He thought he had a sub lined up and at the last minute he didn't. He is allowed to share his experience with other teachers, just like you can share your experiences about him with others.
     
  11. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    Yes, he is allowed to. The way in which he did it was unprofessional. His wording, behind my back, etc. It was nearly 2 YEARS ago, I have no idea why he would be still angry and holding a grudge.

    However, I think maybe the best in this situation is to just prove him wrong through my actions and continue building rapport with teachers who favorite and like and request me.
     
  12. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Tattling isn't much more professional though, and the tone of your message reads to me like it's a little tattleish and very defensive, especially for, as you point out, an incident from two years ago. I don't think you were wrong to cancel at all, please don't misunderstand me. All the same, it can be stressful for a teacher to be without a sub without notice. I don't really blame a teacher for being worked up about it and telling others. You can bet I still tell people about the sub I had who ignored my lesson and told my class that Sandy Hook was a conspiracy. I know it happened because 1) numerous trustworthy students reported it to me when I returned and 2) the teacher wrote notes backing up conspiracy claims on my board and didn't erase them.

    My point is that he can feel however he feels, and you can feel however you feel, and in this situation, I don't really think either of you is wrong.


    This is the best thing to do.
     
  13. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    A conspiracy? HUHHH wow lol
     
  14. svassillion

    svassillion Companion

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    Oh my goodness! I'm currently picturing a sub filling in a conspiracy map on the board in front of my Ks and can't help but laugh. What? How is this person allowed around kids?
     
  15. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    I found a pic of him!!

    [​IMG]
     
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  16. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Probably more like this:

    [​IMG]
     
  17. svassillion

    svassillion Companion

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    YES! YES! Exactly what I was picturing. I even considered going to find this as a gif! Pepe Silvia!
     
  18. bewlove

    bewlove Companion

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    I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. It would burn me up, too. I ultimately agree with Ceasar that I probably wouldn't send the email, but I do understand why you wrote it. What about explaining things to him face to face? You could be honest, and say that you totally understand why he would be frustrated to have a sub cancel, but that you wanted to personally explain why those cancellations occurred. Chances are, he'll be sheepish about being caught gossiping, and if you're super nice about it, he may realize that his claims are a bit unfounded.

    I, too, have talked about my experiences with subs, but I don't put those things in writing. Also, it sounds like you're a great employee. Your good reputation will surpass his claims.
     
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  19. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    I hope so! I just worry ya know? I can't afford to have teachers blacklisting me. Though with there being 115 in the school, 1 is not going to make that much difference. I don't feel compelled to even address it with him as I doubt he is going around to every room at the end of the day and leaving notes. And at the end of the day, I am proving him wrong every single day I show up and do my job.
     
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  20. bewlove

    bewlove Companion

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    Yes! I love what you said about showing up each day. As a teacher, I've had other teachers think poorly of me in the past (really just one other teacher that I know of). It used to make me feel so bad, but I kept that mentality. Now I'm well known for being positively mediocre! Lol! Hopefully I'll gain an even better reputation as the years pass.
     
  21. Rabbitt

    Rabbitt Connoisseur

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    I too am sorry and it is unfortunate.
    I would not send it.
    Let your true reputation speak for itself in time.
    Anything negative tends to bring more harm than good.
     
  22. vickilyn

    vickilyn Magnifico

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    Writing the email was cathartic, but deleting the email instead of sending it shows maturity and good judgement. The email sounds immature, and I am certain that is not your intent. You are working full time subbing - how much of an impact do you really think this person is having on your success? Be the bigger person, or the adult, and act accordingly. The email could make you seem weak and petty, and I am sure that is not your intent. Write as many emails or letters as necessary for you to feel vindicated - never send a single one of them. You will be grateful in the end. Best of luck.
     
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2017
  23. Secondary Teach

    Secondary Teach Companion

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    First, I want to commend you for not removing the note left behind- because that's I would've done. However, I think you acted accordingly by deleting your drafted e-mail, if he told the other faculty about you not showing up for substitute jobs you signed up for, even though you had an excuse- then it's pretty obvious he would also share or CC the email you would've sent to him with the other faculty and that would affect your ability to get jobs. Members in this thread seem to be commenting as if you are a substitute still, but I believe you mentioned in a reply to someone on the previous page that you are not a sub anymore, but a full time faculty member. You may want to clear that up. Best.
    :)
     
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2017
  24. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    I am a building sub. That means I am often filling in for various teachers throughout the day and I work 5 days a week. No teaching cert (yet), just Bachelor and Almost Master's. I didnt send the e-mail, in fact I deleted it.
     
  25. Joyful!

    Joyful! Habitué

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    Sorry you had to see that unflattering note.
    If he is as cantankerous as you state, don't you think people consider his opinion as biased?
    Nonetheless, your email is way over the top. If I read it as an admin, I would definitely consider you to be petty. Don't send it. Don't revise and send it. Don't send it.
    You mention you are a staff member. As such, you need to remember that your colleague may have been having a very bad day himself, either then or both then and now. If it were me, I would bring in a cup of coffee or a Dunkin'/Starbucks card, and just tell him you noticed he looked like he could use a pick me up and to have a nice day. Period. Bite your tongue for all other words than have a great day, and it was my pleasure.
    I have found a lot of times in life when I work to consider someone else's point of view, I find that I need to encourage or bless them in some way. It enables me to be free of resentment and anger, and it allows me to move forward positively. I recommend that to you.
     
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  26. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    If you see my post up above, I didn't send the e-mail. I deleted it
     
  27. Mshope2012

    Mshope2012 Companion

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    When I was a sub, I had a teacher confront me in person that I hadn't followed her lesson plans. I defended myself and said that what she was saying was not true and I had tried to follow her plans to the letter, but the video she left had no sound. She acted skeptical and said the video was fine. (Basically calling me a liar.) Later that day a student caught me and apologized saying that the students in the class had lied about me and said that I "let them" talk and they did no work. In reality, I was trying to get the sound working and even called another teacher to help, who also couldn't get it working. I tried to discuss the topic of the video the best that I could and left what happened in my note. The student didn't want the other students mad at her and begged me not to say anything. I didn't. I did tell another teacher I was close to about this and she told me not to worry about it.

    It is years later and I did get hired full-time at that school. I was tempted to bring this up to that teacher once, but I let it go. However, I would be lying if I said that it didn't bother me. She is the type of teacher who favors one class and treats them like her special snowflakes who can do no wrong and blasts her other classes! Of course, this empowered her snowflakes to lie about me. She completely believed these students over me. (Why would I lie? I was a sub with a very good rep.)

    I say to maybe talk to the principal or someone. He should be able to go around and disparage your work. You got sick! Is that a crime? Then again, I'm sure they all know this character.
     
  28. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    In the end, the classroom teacher was unprofessional. You were the epitome of grace under fire.

    APPLAUSE!
     
  29. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    I think you could and should write a note or send an email to the teacher you subbed for to whom the original note was addressed.

    You could say "When I came back to your classroom 7th period, I happened to notice the note _____ left about me. I'm sorry to hear ______ thinks that I am unreliable. I just wanted to clarify with you that he may have gotten that idea when I was forced to cancel on him because I came down with a serious case of pneumonia for three weeks two years ago. It was unavoidable, and it's a shame that he views me in this way, but I understand why he might be angry. I just wanted to clear that up."

    This would help you clear things up with this teacher and deflect the negative image that the other teacher is trying to spread, and it's possible that this teacher would even mention what really happened to the negative teacher or other teachers who he has been trying to influence if it's ever brought up again.
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2017
  30. TrademarkTer

    TrademarkTer Groupie

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    Not a bad idea
     
  31. AmyMyNamey

    AmyMyNamey Comrade

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    I'm sure this has already been resolved to a degree.

    As a sub, it's not a good idea to write letters to HR, not unless something truly grievous happened.

    It's not a good idea to write notes calling someone out, as you cannot predict how they will be received. You think you are writing X, but the other person reads it as Y, and then you have all manner of hurt feelings.

    So don't write notes to address problems of this sort. Address them in person, when you have more control over the way your message is received.

    Myself, I would mention the problem to this teacher at some point. "I'm sure you were upset when I canceled. But I got so sick the night before and could not stop throwing up, let alone come in and teach. I was stuck in bed most of that week. I'm sorry, and I hope I might get the chance to sub for you some other time." Then it is off your conscience on this teacher is able to reevaluate his feelings. But keep it simple and free of expressions of hurt or anger.

    Some things you just don't commit to paper or email.
     
  32. Joyful!

    Joyful! Habitué

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    I did see it. Thanks. I was merely giving you my advice for these types of dealings. I hope you will consider reaching out to your colleague with kindness and with forgiveness and that it all works out for you.
     
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  33. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    Things are fine. The classroom teacher herself sent me a message and said she knew Mr so and so was like that and she was personally happy with the job I did, so she would ask me again.
     
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  34. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Thanks for the update, and REALLY GLAD it was a good one.
     
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  35. Joyful!

    Joyful! Habitué

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    Me too! Yay!
    I'm glad things went your way.
     
  36. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    I am actually working with him as an inclusion teacher next week, so we will see if things get interesting. LOL
     
  37. Pi-R-Squared

    Pi-R-Squared Groupie

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    Two years ago, I took 2 personal days to go visit family 1,000 miles away. I couldn't get a sub to cover both days so Sub A covered Thursday and Sub B on Friday. No problem with Sub B. But, Thursday morning, I get a call from the office saying Sub A wasn't there and 1st period was about to start. I said I really can't show up and asked her to find someone else. About 5 minutes later, Sub A arrives just in the nick of time. I get back on Monday and find out that Sub A acted like everything was normal and didn't think what she did was wrong. Subs were told to arrive for homeroom but she didn't. So, Sub A landed on my "not dependable" list who would be called last if no one else could cover. I told other teachers what had happened and they wondered why Sub A felt it normal coming in late. The moral of the story is that teachers do tell when something adverse happens. Now, I wouldn't blacklist when someone got sick but I'd let others know that my Sub called out last minute and it wasn't a good thing.
     
  38. TrademarkTer

    TrademarkTer Groupie

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    Luckily our office would never bother a teacher who called out with such nonsense. They'd either have another sub cover, or they'd have other teachers cover during their prep if it was dire (of course paying them for covering the period). We do frequently have subs come a few minutes late. No one ever seems to notice or care....
     
  39. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    You would continue two years later?
     
  40. Pi-R-Squared

    Pi-R-Squared Groupie

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    I never heard of being paid to cover someone else's class during my prep!
     
  41. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    Our school considers i
    Considers it extra duty and pays $30 a period
     

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