Need Help Regarding my Son.

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by Ambran, Mar 3, 2009.

  1. Ambran

    Ambran New Member

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    Mar 3, 2009

    I am not sure if I posted in the right spot.
    It started when my son had a speech delay-we later found it was due to a ligament growing in the canal between the roof of his mouth and brain.

    He was told by preschool he had to enter kindergarten he made the cutoff by 6 days, and he is the youngest one in his class. I did not want him to enter I wanted him to learn more of the basics. Now I am told he has to be held back, which is not a shocker.

    My Husband and I want to pull him out now so I can work with him more instead of the 2 1/2 hours that he goes to school which is divided between 23 kids from 1 teacher. He has learned a lot but with the 3 months that are left I think I can teach him more myself. He will do Kindergarten over again next year. In my district in Colorado they are starting full days for kindergarten. He will benefit a lot more from the full day.

    How do I go about this? My son's teacher is not responding to me.
     
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  3. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Mar 3, 2009

    If you have tried contacting the teacher multiple times, maybe it is time to go to the principal and express your concerns that because of the number of students in the class and your son's speech delay, you think it best to pull him out and work with him at home. And ask it should be done. I'm thinking though that all you have to do is withdraw him from school.
     
  4. Ambran

    Ambran New Member

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    Mar 3, 2009

    Update

    I received a reply today and we have a meeting next week with the principle. The school system is so strict now I am finding out he might be forced to go to 1st grade next year.

    I wish that for him more than anything but he is just not ready. If by chance they do let him take kindergarten over again I most definitely do not want him to sit in the class while his friends move up.

    From my understanding you have to go through all sorts of channels to get them held back. During the day when he is not at school we work 4 times a day on reading/writing/math for 10 minutes each. His maturity level is still below average for right now.
     
  5. GoehringTeaches

    GoehringTeaches Comrade

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    Mar 3, 2009

    forced to go to 1st grade? that seems really weird. If your child cannot do the work, then they should be held back. If he can do the work, then he should go on. Just withdraw him and work at home. Then reenter him next year into Kindergarten.
     
  6. BioAngel

    BioAngel Science Teacher - Grades 3-6

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    Mar 3, 2009

    Do you think your son could meet with a tutor or speech therapist over the summer to catch himself up and be ready for 1st grade? Have you asked him personally what he would like to do too--- go forward with the kids he's met or stay back another and work on his skills?

    I would try to find some other avenues than just pulling him out and you tutor him--- he might feel uncomfortable working with a parent but respond well to a tutor. My Mom tried her very best to teach me to read, but it took a one-on-one tutor for it to click in my brain and so that's why I'm mentioning it.
     
  7. Ambran

    Ambran New Member

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    Mar 3, 2009

    The teacher is saying the process is really hard to hold him back. From my understanding now he barely makes the cutoff academically but is way behind maturity wise. My Husband and I talked about a tutor today just in case.
     
  8. DaleJr88AmpFan

    DaleJr88AmpFan Cohort

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    Mar 3, 2009

    That's a little shocking... usually (where I teach at least) parents have the final word for promotion or retention in elementary school. A teacher can suggest placement but it is ultimately the parent's decision to move on or stay back. I would check with Colorado's education department. Start by asking if K is required and "when" it is required. Find out what your child's and your rights are. Where I live, kindergarten is really optional but 99.99% of all kids get enrolled in K (unless, of course, they are being homeschooled).
     
  9. Special-t

    Special-t Enthusiast

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    Mar 3, 2009

    Just because something is hard to do does not mean it can't be done. It sounds like the school might be trying to avoid paperwork, etc. From what I understand this is the most common time that a student is held back - between K and 1st. Perhaps you could look into a private school or home school him just for this year that you want him to repeat K.

    p.s. He is your child - not the school's - and you have an instinct because you know your child and love him more than a school district ever can ... so push for what you know is best.
     
  10. DaleJr88AmpFan

    DaleJr88AmpFan Cohort

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    Mar 3, 2009

    OK.. I just did a little research and found this on CO's webpage

    COLORADO DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
    PUBLIC SCHOOL FINANCE UNIT
    SB07-016

    CONCERNING THE CREATION MINIMUM AGE FOR COMPULSORY EDUC ATION
    Signed by Governor 3-16-07


    Summary of Legislation
    22-33-104 Compulsory school attendance.

    Every child who has attained the age of six years on or before August 1 of each year and is under the age of seventeen years shall attend public school for at least the following number of hours during each year:

    No child is required to begin attending preschool or kindergarten at five or six years of age to advance to first grade in the following school year. A parent of a child who began attending preschool or kindergarten at five or six years of age may notify the child’s school of the parent’s wish that the child not advance to first grade in the following school year, and a school that receives such notice shall not advance the child to first grade in the following school year.

    From: www.cde.state.co.us/cdefinance/download/SUMMARYOFSB07-0163-16-07.doc


    According to this.. his age would play a determining factor in the decision as to whether or not he would need to move on. If you are still resistant to moving him on, dig in your heels.
     
  11. DallasTeacher

    DallasTeacher Companion

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    Mar 4, 2009

    You need to draw a line in the sand and stand your ground if you feel your son needs to repeat K. Meet with the principal and explain that you know you have the right to have your child retained. My observation is that students retained in K do much better and since your son barely made the cut-off, it is probably to his advantage. As a mom to 5 boys, on average they mature slower than girls intellectually. None of my boys started K until they were 6, almost 7 due to when their birthdays fell. They've never struggled and many of the boys in their classes were also on the "older" side of the age bracket.
     
  12. adventuresofJ

    adventuresofJ Comrade

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    Mar 4, 2009

    If you feel he would benefit from doing Kindergarten over next year with full days... do everything you can to make that happen... look into charter schools or Montessori. If he is not mature enough to go to first grade - please don't let him. I have a student now that skipped kindergarten all together, he is very difficult to deal with because he does not have the coping skills of his classmates - sometimes it seems like he wants to go back down a grade.

    If your child is academically advanced later in school it will be easier for him to take classes to accommodate his needs, but maturity cannot really be tutored into someone.
     
  13. MrsHoot

    MrsHoot Comrade

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    Mar 4, 2009

    Very good point. Obviously maturity is a HUGE factor in this case. Every child is different and unique and if your son is not ready, holding him back is probably the best thing for him!
     
  14. aek471

    aek471 Rookie

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    Mar 4, 2009

    Kudos to you Ambran, for recognizing that it is best for your son to be held back. I cannot tell you how many parents I've fought with about retention - they only want their child to move on with their classmates, and are not worried about whether or not the child is ready for the next grade. I find it very unusual that a school is telling you your child needs to move on if he's not ready.

    The critical thing is that he is ready for 1st grade, so everyone is right - stand your ground and insist that he stay in K. He will be that much better for it when he IS ready for 1st!
     
  15. Ambran

    Ambran New Member

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    Mar 5, 2009

    Thank you all for your comments. We do meet Monday morning with the principle and teacher, and my Husband is going to take off work that morning so that we can go and he can provide his input.

    Thank you all for the info too, we both know he needs to stay back mainly on a maturity level. As far as academics I think he should be progressing more than he is now. I will post Monday on what happened. Thank you all!
     
  16. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Mar 5, 2009

    I agree with the others. If your maternal instinct is telling you that this is best for your child, dig in your heels and make it happen. I also agree with the poster who said that it sounds like the school just doesn't want to deal with the paperwork.

    It's not unusual for kids to be not quite mature enough to handle first grade according to the traditional time table, and it's shockingly common with boys. My own 6 year old would never be able to handle a regular first grade even though he's gifted academically. He's very immature and has some significant delays due to extreme prematurity and mild CP. It would be a total disaster if he was in a regular first grade classroom. For an entirely different reason, I homeschool my own kids, so I don't have to worry about that particular issue.

    The point being, YOU are in control here, so you need to take it back from the school. They're trying to bully you, as they did when he started kindergarten. Stand up for what's best for your child, even if you have to get a little mean to get what you need. If the school turns out to be utterly uncooperative, then you need to explore other avenues. There are private schools, charter schools, and, the option that worked for me, homeschool. I don't know how it works in CO, but in my county, my kids are eligable for all of the services that they would be eligible for if they were enrolled in the public schools. Though, of course, they still have to deal with the regular, insanely long waits for services. My youngest son has an OT that comes out once a week, paid for by the district. It is, however, a serious endevor and I must be insanely organized and regimented in order to balance their needs with both of my jobs.

    Good luck on Monday, and let us know how it goes.
     
  17. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Mar 5, 2009

    Just withdraw him and get some solid homeschooling backing you. You don't have to get permission to withdraw your own child! Those advising you to put him in K when he was so much younger than the other kids made a big big mistake. He will be ok though, because he has a mom on the ball!

    Take him out, get some homeschooling going, and if they won't put him in K again next year, just homeschool him through another year of K. Then they will have to take him in first when you re-enroll him.

    From what you describe, he is developmentally not ready to go on. And there is nothing to do about it but give him the time to develop. You can't force him to grow 3 inches by summer, and you can't force him to "catch up" with the readers in his class. It is the same thing. Give him the time he needs to blossom, and you will be glad for the rest of his school years. They will go much more smoothly if he is one of the oldest in the class.If he is pushed into first when he is not ready, the consequences show up more and more with each school year.

    Be strong! This is your child and you are making the decisions for him.
     
  18. sharnon007

    sharnon007 Rookie

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    Mar 6, 2009

    I agree about boys being more immature than girls. I know MOST girls will work in a workbook, but a boy would rather spout off his facts jumping up and down.
    If your son's not ready, don't let him go to the next grade. Do you go to church or are you involved in other activities to where your son spends a lot of time with other kids his age?
    Good luck!!!!!!!!!!

    sharnon007
     

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