need help-cover letter

Discussion in 'Job Seekers' started by SunnyReader, Feb 16, 2010.

  1. SunnyReader

    SunnyReader Companion

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2009
    Messages:
    237
    Likes Received:
    0

    Feb 16, 2010

    Please be brutally honest.


    To Whom It May Concern:

    I am writing to you to inquire about the employment opportunities in your school. I will obtain a M.S in Education from XXX College in May 2010 and be fully certified in Childhood Education 1-6 and Special Education 1-6.

    Presently, I am a 6th grade teacher in XXX city to 36 multicultural students. Teaching in this diverse school expanded my teaching experience by providing me with opportunities to instruct across all content areas, to incorporate technology frequently, and to work closely with my colleagues to create a meaningful learning experience for all our students. I recognize the value of preparation, awareness or students’ needs, and using diverse learning strategies to reach all learners.

    I strive to cultivate meaningful learning experiences that extent beyond the classroom texts. The methods I acquire and polish, by working in my current school and in my graduate program, facilitate differentiation of instruction and relevance of content through various modes of instruction, projects, class discussion and the like. These vastly diverse experiences allow me to learn and to work across a broad range of the profession and support my growth as an educator.

    I am continuously enamored by the role of an educator and the possibilities of changing, shaping and enriching lives.

    Thank you for your consideration.
     
  2.  
  3. futureteach21

    futureteach21 Habitué

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2008
    Messages:
    821
    Likes Received:
    1

    Feb 16, 2010

    I don't like the use of "polish", I can't think of a better word but there is something odd about it. Just my two cents! I really like the rest of it :)
     
  4. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    27,534
    Likes Received:
    6

    Feb 17, 2010

    It seems to me that your letter is indistinguishable from that of every other teacher in your program, and from most of the current class of teachers.

    If I read your letter, what sets YOURS apart from the other 2,000 letters on my desk?

    There's no YOU in your letter.

    I say you drop most of the buzzwords and tell me of one or two successes you've had, no matter how small, that indicate that you are a good teacher.
     
  5. KateL

    KateL Habitué

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2007
    Messages:
    810
    Likes Received:
    2

    Feb 17, 2010

    I think your cover letter is too short. You should include details about exactly how you taught. How did you incorporate technology? What meaningful experiences did you create? What diverse learning strategies did you use?

    Also, if you're using a thesaurus, you might want to stop. Some of the words you used (enamored, polish, vastly diverse) seem out of place in a cover letter.
     
  6. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    27,534
    Likes Received:
    6

    Feb 17, 2010

    Even if you choose not to change your letter based on our recommendations, you want "extend" not "extent."
     
  7. SunnyReader

    SunnyReader Companion

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2009
    Messages:
    237
    Likes Received:
    0

    Feb 17, 2010

    Thank you for all your suggestions-

    Alice, I have read this statement from you before...but I am having trouble putting an anecdote into my cover letter. Let me revamp, and try again---
    and I fixed the typo-thanks
     
  8. eri444

    eri444 Rookie

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2010
    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    0

    Feb 17, 2010

    I don't have as much experience as others in writing the cover letters, but in terms of grammatical structure and writing structure, below are my tips:
    __________________________________________
    To Whom It May Concern: (This is a 'faux pas' if you KNOW the name of the person to whom you are writing. Only use this salutation with districts that do not list the name of the person to whom you'll be sending your resume. Otherwise, simply write Dear Mr. XXXX,

    I am writing to you (delete) to inquire about the employment opportunities in your school (List name of school when you send it out. You want some sort of personalization when you send these letters out).. I will obtain a M.S (you need a period after S as well: M.S. Also, at least in my business undergrad, we were told to spell out all degrees (i.e. Masters of Science in _____ ). ) in Education from XXX College in May 2010 and be fully certified in Childhood Education 1-6 and Special Education 1-6.

    Presently, I am a 6th grade teacher in XXX city to 36 multicultural students. Teaching in this diverse school expanded my teaching experience by providing me with opportunities to instruct across all content areas, to incorporate technology frequently, and to work closely with my colleagues to create a meaningful learning experience for all of our students. I recognize the value of preparation, awareness of students’ needs, and the usage of diverse learning strategies to reach all learners.

    I strive to cultivate meaningful learning experiences that extend beyond the classroom texts. The methods I have acquired and honed over my career, by working in both my current school and in my graduate program, facilitate differentiation of instruction and relevance of content through various modes of instruction, projects, class discussions and the like. These vastly diverse experiences have allowed me to learn and to work across a broad range of the profession and support my growth as an educator. (I'm not sure I understand what you're saying in this sentence. It needs reworking).

    I am continuously enamored by the role of an educator and the possibilities of changing, shaping and enriching lives.

    Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
     
  9. SunnyReader

    SunnyReader Companion

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2009
    Messages:
    237
    Likes Received:
    0

    Feb 17, 2010

    eri- thanks for your suggestions.
     
  10. SunnyReader

    SunnyReader Companion

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2009
    Messages:
    237
    Likes Received:
    0

    Feb 17, 2010

    of course if i know the name of the people and/or school I would use it
     
  11. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

    Joined:
    May 13, 2005
    Messages:
    29,798
    Likes Received:
    1,168

    Feb 17, 2010

    I'm willing to wager that the style doesn't really reflect you. Simpler is often better, rather than trying for more sophistication in word choice and syntax than one can quite handle successfully.

    You needn't be so specific about your degrees in your cover letter: that's information that will be in your resume. Instead, use the cover letter to convey a sense of who YOU are as a teacher. Have you got a nifty anecdote from the school in which you are teaching?
     
  12. stepka

    stepka Comrade

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2008
    Messages:
    363
    Likes Received:
    0

    Feb 20, 2010

    I have an idea--why don't you write a very informal letter to us, in your own voice, and tell us why you want to teach or why you want this position? Then you can take that and put it into more formal language. Remember, supply those anecdotes.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

Total: 449 (members: 1, guests: 412, robots: 36)
test