My student told me that he loved me.

Discussion in 'Debate & Marathon Threads Archive' started by Caesar753, Mar 21, 2012.

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  1. knitter63

    knitter63 Groupie

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    Mar 23, 2012

    I am so sorry to hear that a district would direct you to not say that you love your students. Has the district been involved in legal issues because of this? That would be the only reason I would feel it necessary to make such a rule.
    I love my class, and they know it. They love me, and I know it. We are not all mushy about it, and we joke a lot, but they know I would do anything for them, and they for me.
     
  2. lovebeingteach

    lovebeingteach Companion

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    YES! We had 3 incidents last year regarding teachers and students. We are not allowed to hug either and you will get written up for doing so. I teach in a middle school, but it's a district rule.
     
  3. lovebeingteach

    lovebeingteach Companion

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    We aren't allowed to be alone with students either. When we tutor after school, there has to be 2 teachers in the room or more than one student. When kids tell me they love me sometimes I say, "Well, I love the way you listen in my class too," or something similar.

    Also, we aren't aloud to call them "honey," "sweetie," or "sweetheart."

    Sorry if I offended anyone...
     
  4. bison

    bison Habitué

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    I'm not offended, I just think it points to a sad state of affairs. :( I still don't think it being an issue in your district makes it inappropriate as a whole.
     
  5. lovebeingteach

    lovebeingteach Companion

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    Touche'........I guess I forget that all people don't teach in dysfunctional environments....I can't even imagine what that would be like. We have so many rules about what you can/can't do that it's tiring.
     
  6. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Oh, I'd be in such trouble. I regularly call my students "honey" or "hun". And if they're being ridiculous, they get a stern "honeychild". For certain not a day has gone by when I don't use these terms.
     
  7. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Mar 23, 2012

    I'm sorry if my responses were harsh. I was taken aback that others didn't view the situation as I did. I understand the concern that some teachers behave inappropriately with children so we all need to be on our best behavior. I just also think that telling children (and teenagers, who seem to be the most difficult to love!) that we love them isn't wrong when it's done with good intentions. I understand better where you're coming from now.

    Friends? :)
     
  8. lovebeingteach

    lovebeingteach Companion

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    SURE! Why not? :)

    As teachers we sure do have to pick our battles, don't we? lol
     
  9. stephenpe

    stephenpe Connoisseur

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    Mar 23, 2012

    Once in awhile one of my K-1 kids tells me they love me. I always tell them I love them, too. I would not work in a district that says not to behave like a human being with kids. Kids hug me all the time and I hug them back. Heck, some of them need hugs more than anything else they get at school.
     
  10. msufan

    msufan Comrade

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    Mar 23, 2012

    What an encouraging thread! I, too, get and give I love yous from time to time with my third graders. But I wouldn't have been surprised to see a larger percentage of teachers facing the same kinds of regulations that lovebeingteach faces. I'm thankful that from this small sample, at least, that doesn't seem to be the case.
     
  11. WaterfallLady

    WaterfallLady Enthusiast

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    Mar 23, 2012

    My high-schoolers say they love me all the time. It's usually the whole class saying "We love you Miss X." The middle school kids don't.

    If a high school kid is in trouble, I usually preface it with "You know I love you but..." There are certain kids I don't say it to, but I do with the good majority of the class. They know it's a different type of love.

    I don't just flat out tell the kids I love them. Also, for some reason, it doesn't work the same with middle school kids, but some of the girls try to hug me and tell me they love me.
     
  12. PinkCupcake

    PinkCupcake Cohort

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    Mar 24, 2012

    That's unfortunate. :( I couldn't imagine not getting a hug from my students, but I teach elementary.
     
  13. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    Mar 24, 2012

    I teach in high school, and I can't imagine that type of environment! I do a nice "side hug" every now and then. It's not frequent, but it happens, and I'm glad to work in a district and school where they trust that I'm not trying to grope a kid.
     
  14. PinkCupcake

    PinkCupcake Cohort

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    Mar 24, 2012

    The little ones tend to come straight at you for a hug. :haha:
     
  15. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Mar 24, 2012

    My kids tell me that all the time, but they mean to say it. lol. I guess that's the difference between first grade and HS. This is one reason why I love lower elementary, they are so loving. I would take this as a compliment. Even though it was an accident, he obviously holds you as very special to him, which is what we should be to our students. :)
     
  16. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    One of my girls is so cute. She'll even sneak up to me and then kiss me on the cheek. She's the cutest thing. :)
     
  17. TeachOn

    TeachOn Habitué

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    Mar 24, 2012

    Several years ago, the "love you" meme was in full bloom (a confused metaphor, but it is spring). This combined here with a delightfully facetious Vegas-style "Love Ya, Babe" (Combined optionally with patter about catching the addressee's act at The Sands, or with a hipster extension of the index finger, known as "throwing the disco finger") to form a perfect storm of silliness. The storm, alas, passed.

    This epoch aside, I do not tell my students that I love them, though I do.

    As for hugging, there does tend to be hugging when past students stop by to see me. Somehow that seems OK to me. I'm not sure why, but I trust my instinct.
     
  18. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Mar 24, 2012

    I understand the issues around showing affection to students in the states, but it's really ridiculous. When I was still in California, we were advised never to even be in the classroom alone with a student so nothing can be misconstrued, nor a false accusation made. I do get it, I really do, but I think it's so sad that teachers are so afraid to the point they have to be guarded. It's just sad.
     
  19. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    Mar 24, 2012

    I'm not a touchy-feely person. I don't like hugs and when I taught high school and a kid came in for a hug I'd tell them I don't hug children. I never hugged my teachers, I just don't like it! Hell I never even hug my friends or family unless I haven't seen them in a while.

    Now that I have elementary kids I've had to change a bit. I have kids who give me hugs multiple times a day and I don't like it at all. Especially since they're always sick and lice is going around right now. Usually I pretend "fight" them instead. They like that too, and they don't get too close to me!

    Man I sound bitter...:)
     
  20. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    Mar 24, 2012

    I can't imagine not hugging my kids. Even the ones who hang on me & are desperate for hugs when I want my own personal space. I say I love you. Some kids just need to hear those words.

    I don't know if I'd feel any different if I taught high school. I'm kind of wondering about my DS high school. There have been 3 teachers, that I'm aware of, who have crossed the line and have had criminal cases, in the last 4 or 5 years.
     
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