My student told me that he loved me.

Discussion in 'Debate & Marathon Threads Archive' started by Caesar753, Mar 21, 2012.

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  1. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Mar 21, 2012

    I was talking with one of my seniors about some work that he would be missing due to a school trip out of state. When we were done, he was saying goodbye to me and accidentally said, "I love you, babe!" He immediately covered his mouth and said, "I'm so sorry....But I guess it's true, so it's okay, whatever." We both laughed about it and I said that I loved him too.

    Kids call me all sorts of names (usually Mom, Grandma, or any of about half a dozen other teachers' names) by accident. They usually seem so mortified, especially when they call me Mom or Grandma, but it's no big deal. I've never had a student accidentally tell me that he loves me, so this one was a first.

    What sorts of things have your kids accidentally said to or called you?
     
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  3. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    I get mom, quite often. I got, "yes, dear," once when I asked a male student to do something. He blushed and wandered away sheepishly. I wouldn't be surprised to have some tell me they love me.
     
  4. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Kids tell me they love me nearly every day just as I tell them I love them. It's usually the same few every day. But never in an oh-I-got-you-confused-with-my-girlfriend kind of way. That's funny! :)

    I get called Mom and Mamaw every now in then, to which I respond in an over the top super sweet manner, "Yes, honey?" But mostly I'm just called the other teachers' names.
     
  5. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    I've gotten plenty of plain old "I love yous" over the years. This "babe" one was a surprise. :haha:
     
  6. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    Surprised me even more because with your handle I keep thinking you are a guy!
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2012
  7. WindyCityGal606

    WindyCityGal606 Enthusiast

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    "babe" from a student seems kind of strange to me...he's a senior?
     
  8. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Windy, I think it was a slip-up. :)
     
  9. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    I teach elementary so I get it a lot. Lots of "I love you"s lots of Mama, Mamaw, Grandmaw, Aunt.... I had a student who was being raised by a single father. He called me Daddy a couple of times. I just laugh and answer them. I have a resource student who checks in with me every day (for an attendance problem). She hugs and kisses me every morning. I've talked to her about it, that as much as I love her and appreciate it, that she shouldn't kiss me, but every morning in the middle of the hug, she turns and kisses my cheek. At this point, I've just quit fighting it. lol
     
  10. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    It was a slip-up. I almost said "I love you" to the other Latin teacher across town at the end of a phone call one day not too long ago. No idea where it came from, but I'm so glad I caught it before I said it. I can totally see how this kid just let it slip out.
     
  11. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    :lol:
     
  12. lovebeingteach

    lovebeingteach Companion

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    Am I the only person that is going to state the obvious: That it is totally inappropriate for a student to tell a teacher that they love them. Consequently, it is even more inappropriate to tell them that you love them back. When kids tell me they love me I quite simply tell them that I like them a whole lot too, but that we can not say we love each other because it is inappropriate. You need to draw the line very clearly in the invisible sand.
     
  13. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Wow.
     
  14. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I love my students.

    Like, I really do.

    Totally appropriate.
     
  15. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Furthermore, I am the only person some students hear those words from throughout their day. Breaks my heart.

    And it actually bothers me greatly that someone would say my words, my feelings are inappropriate.

    Sad.
     
  16. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    This.

    If it makes you feel better, I believe that it can be totally appropriate to tell a student that you love them. This isn't, Hey kid, you're hot and I'm in love with you and want to marry you and have your babies. This is, Hey kid, you're a special person and I love you. There is a difference. And frankly, anyone who can't see a difference there should maybe rethink working with children.

    But what do I know.
     
  17. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Love does not equal romance.
     
  18. waterfall

    waterfall Virtuoso

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    I've heard that before too but I think it's pretty common in elementary :). The only one that I get jokingly offended by is the student that sometimes slips up and calls me her male gen ed teacher's name.
     
  19. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    This. My kids love me. I love my kids. Especially my drama club members. We call ourselves Drama Family. We have almost weekly drama family dinners and all go eat out together after practice. The weeks leading up to shows, I spend more time with those kids than their actual families. I love those kids like a mama loves kids. They know that, and sometimes I tell them, when they need to hear it.
     
  20. MikeTeachesMath

    MikeTeachesMath Devotee

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    I disagree that it's inappropriate. In high school, my choir/theatre director and I had a very close relationship. She helped me through a lot over the 4 years: she was the first person I talked to about being depressed, about my sexuality, about being bullied, among a list of other things. She made it a priority to come to my college music program auditions as well -- and some of the schools were far. And this went the other way too. I was one of the first people she told about her divorce, about her cancer diagnosis, about her "all clear" the following year. I was even at her second wedding a few months ago. She retired the same year I graduated, and after school on the last day, we had a great conversation complete with lots of crying, and when we were saying our goodbyes, she said "You know, I love you like one of my own kids."

    So in short, it's not inappropriate. We had a great bond that I sincerely doubt I'll have with many other people in my lifetime. She's a major influence in my teaching philosophy as well. I don't want to be one of those teachers who doesn't make close connections with the students.
     
  21. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    It's definitely o.k. I've had this happen with a teenage boy and when he said it, out of the blue, I said, "Well, I love you, too."
    Then he said, "No, I really love you." My answer was, "Well. good!"And that was the end of it. We are still friends and always will be. We do love one another and as someone said, "not in a romantic way." "Love" is ALWAYS a good thing.
     
  22. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    I've had kids call me mom and other teachers names.

    I've also had kids say I love you. Usually, the kinder kiddos.

    And I have no problems telling them I love you back. I care about them. And I give them hugs too. Take that government!
     
  23. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    It is so sad that we have to worry about what we say and how we touch each other.
     
  24. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I love mine too, and they know it. We are light-hearted about it--"You love us, don't you MrsC?", "Of course I do." "See, I told you she loves us.", "We love you, MrsC!".

    It's part of who I am and I can't imagine it any other way.
     
  25. tchr4evr

    tchr4evr Companion

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    I do love them

    My kids are like my kids. My drama students especially. When a kid's face lights up when they walk into your class just to see you in the morning-that's why you're there, and "love" is totally appropriate. Kids learn best from those they have a good relationship with, and that might mean they feel "loved" by their teacher!
     
  26. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

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    I told my other English teacher that I loved him once. I'm so used to saying it at the end of calls with my parents and boyfriend!
     
  27. Rebel1

    Rebel1 Connoisseur

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    I've been called, You mean teacher or Ms. Meanie, when I don't give in to what they want to do instead of doing their paperwork, or I redirect them to other activities 'cause they are not following directions.
    I have been called Mom, Grandma, Dad; by kids who are raised by their Dads, and also names that rhyme with my name, especially when we do rhyming words.
    I've been asked by students who tell me that they love me, if I can be their mommie, or can they go home with me, and if I can come to their house. One child told me that he wanted to be the same color skin like mine. He's a white kid. I told him that he can't because that is the color of skin that God gave him. He then asked me if I can call God to ask and if I had God's phone number. His reply when I asked him why he wanted to be the same color as me was, "Because you are a cool teacher!" If my skin was any lighter, I'd be blushing.:D
    The things I hear from children each day is sometimes just too funny.
    Rebel1
     
  28. chebrutta

    chebrutta Enthusiast

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    Aww, just today I was called "Mom."

    My favorite was when a kid got so excited that he figured out a riddle first he yelled "Mommy! Mommy! I figured it!" - from a 7th grader.

    I tell my kids I love 'em every day. Sometimes it's "I love you, but you're driving me nuts. Go sit down." But most of the time, I just tell them I love 'em cause I do... and they need to hear it.

    (Somewhere in the distance, "I Got You Babe" is playing, Caesar :lol:)
     
  29. lovebeingteach

    lovebeingteach Companion

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    I like my students. I care for them very much. I do, however, think it is inappropriate to tell a student I love them. Things can get misconstrued very easily and I hope no one ever lands in hot water for this sort of thing.
     
  30. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    If that's how my career goes down...then so be it.

    Do you love love them and just think it's inappropriate to use that term, or do your feelings simply not extend that far?
     
  31. PinkCupcake

    PinkCupcake Cohort

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    I have no words for this.
     
  32. Jem

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    As a parent, I would HOPE my child's teacher loves them.
     
  33. bison

    bison Habitué

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    Wow. I can't imagine how I'd even avoid saying I love you to a kindergartener who said it to me first. That would be so sad! I care about each and every one of the students I work with. That's why I want to be a teacher!

    Anyway, I almost called one of my professors "babe" recently because I had gone to class directly from spending the day with my boyfriend. I think I managed to awkwardly turn it in to another word halfway through. :lol:

    I remember calling my first grade teacher "mom" by accident and being absolutely humiliated at the time. Now I get called mom on occasion. I usually answer in a silly voice. The kids look just as embarrassed as I was back then.
     
  34. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I agree.
     
  35. Bella2010

    Bella2010 Habitué

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    I always tell my kids I love them because even though I gripe sometimes, I really do. Now, granted, most of the time it something along the lines of, "I love you all like you were my own child, and that's why..." Or, "I love you guys, but right now I need you all to get away from my desk so I can do lunch count." That one happens, a lot, lol. I would feel weird if a kid told me he/she loved me and didn't say it back. I had one kid say, "Mrs R. You're the best. Love you, smooches." :p

    Beth
     
  36. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    I don't say it, but I tend to tacklehug my students as they receive their diplomas in June. That probably says volumes.
     
  37. monsieurteacher

    monsieurteacher Aficionado

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    I try to be careful about saying it, just because as a male teacher, things can get misconstrued. That being said, I have said it... once in the presence of a parent during parent teacher as in "I just LOVE your son". I don't think there's anything wrong with saying you love a student, as long as both parties understand what is meant by that. Both parties understood what was meant by it in Ceasar's situation, so there's no problem.
     
  38. lovebeingteach

    lovebeingteach Companion

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    Well, perhaps I have been brainwashed by my school district. We are not allowed to say it. We have specifically been told so. I do care very deeply for my students, so please don't think otherwise.
     
  39. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    That's sad, lovebeingteach. Someone needs to drop a copy of Love and Logic in your administrator's mailbox. I make inroads where I do because I can get students to say, "I don't want to do this work, but Mrs. Fiddle asked me. For HER, I will."
     
  40. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    I love most of my students. There are maybe four each year that I don't end up loving, but that's the breaks, lol.

    I can't imagine not being able to tell them that I love them. I get asked, point-blank, too. "Mrs. Teacher, You love me, don't you?" Then there are the screams from down the hall during class change "I love you Mrs. Teacher!"

    I agree with the other posters - If this is why I end up losing my job, then I wouldn't want to be working for the system in the first place. I really don't think I would be able to stop feeling it/saying it.
     
  41. sumnerfan

    sumnerfan Comrade

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    Funny that I should run across this thread. Today one of my students told me, in front of the entire class, that he loved me. I made light of it, and he said "No, I really do." I don't think this particular student has had many good relationships with teachers. I know he was in trouble in the school he transferred from. The first day he was in my class he acted out. We had a heart to heart in the hallway that day and he's been good as gold for me ever since.
     
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