My sister is getting married..O my...

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by mandagap06, Mar 17, 2010.

  1. mandagap06

    mandagap06 Devotee

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    Mar 17, 2010

    Sry so long....Please bear with it!! Thanks!

    So my sisters bf just asked her marry him and she said yes. He did it in front of me and my mom at the beach! Well I get the honor and stressful task of being her maid of honor. I know this is her day , but I am stressing. She is not sure a date yet but it will def. be a yr from now. Either march,april or may of 2011. She has not summited dates yet to our church. They request 3 dates to be brought up at staff meeting to make sure nothing else is happening at the church that day. Well I have really no idea where to start. My sister knew this was comming just not when he would pop the question. She had already went and looked at rings with him and she went with my mom to look at dresses and she bought one. I was upset because I have always dreamed on going with her to get the dress. (she is 3hrs away from me going to school and working so its hard). Well I have to get over the fact that I won't see her try on dresses etc. I even picked out my dress...She told me the website and which page my dress was on and I went and found a diff dress I feel in love with and I asked her bout it and she said yes to it!! Anyway to make a long story short..I need help and ideas from anyone who has ever been a maid of honor(perferably for your sister) to give me ideas, tips, websites, etc. Tell me what I need to help with or plan...I heard that the MOD packs the bag for the brides honeymoon and when I said that to her she was like no lol. So we are not going to be that traditional. LOL!
     
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  3. Unbeknownst

    Unbeknownst Cohort

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    Mar 17, 2010

    I have no advice (I was just the groom going through the wedding process), but I did want to congratulate you.

    I'm so excited to see how excited you are (and how obviously dedicated you are) about being the maiden of honor. I've seen two or three weddings the past year where this was NOT the case.

    I'm sure your sister will appreciate whatever your efforts may be, because I can see your heart's in it.

    Good luck!
     
  4. mandagap06

    mandagap06 Devotee

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    Mar 17, 2010

    Thanks!! I am really just afraid of not doing everything right!! My sister is my best friend and I don't want her to regret her wanting me as her MOH.
     
  5. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Mar 17, 2010

    I'm not on my home computer right now but I do have some websites i can look up later. Try theknot.com and see if they have any maid of honor information. I will get back to you! I will be a MOH in 2011 also so I should start looking up things myself!
     
  6. mandagap06

    mandagap06 Devotee

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    Mar 17, 2010

    This will be fun!! If I think of any great ideas I will message them to you through this site and vis versa! This is great we can go through this together!! Will you send me a pic of your dress when you know what it will be? Just wondering what it will look like. I will send you mine.
     
  7. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Mar 17, 2010

    Congrats! If you shopping for dresses w/ your sis is something you've both always talked about, maybe she could have planned w/ you when you could look together, however, things change.

    My BF & his twin bro always talked about being the best men at each other's weddings, but my BF's bro ended up having a friend of his be the best man. My BF was pretty upset too (internally, not outwardly I don't think), but what can you do.

    It may be easier said than done, but try not to stress, just try to make it a fun & happy time for her. Instead of wondering what you should do to help & figuring out what the protocols are, ask her what she would like you to help with. :)
     
  8. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    Mar 17, 2010

    I was a BM in my friend's wedding and it was great. She let us pick our dresses, too.

    The only tasks we really had were the shower and bachelorette party, which we did on the same day. There were 6 of us, so we split up the tasks, so all I had to do for the shower was make invitations and make aa dessert. So I would say, split it up as much as possible if there are other bridesmaids.

    Also, I thought that some of the bridesmaids started a little drama, or just got a little stressed out and tried to get her stressed, like if her hair was messed up, they would be like 'OMG, I would KILL him for doing that." I took a more relaxed view, like, oh well, what are you going to do? and the bride told me she appreciated it later. Keep her sane - don't add to the stress she is already feeling.
     
  9. mandagap06

    mandagap06 Devotee

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    there are 4 bridesmaids and then me. 3 of the 4 live 3 hrs away so that whole getting them together thing is gonna be hard. IDK how to plan that! Also, the dress deal was not something we talked about as kids or anything. I just always thought we would. My mom keeps telling me how thankful she is that I didn't upset my sis by telling her my feelings were hurt. She can say that cuz' she got to go with her. My mom knows she would of been pissed and hurt if my sister went without her. Its ok though I will get over it. I tryed to tell my sister " I didnt wanna be her MOH" but she wouldnt have it. When I say told "I tryed to tell her I didn't wanna be her MOH" I ment that I was not well prepared or equiped to do it. I said one of the other girls would be better at it and she said "Oh, no you have and were always going to be my MOH" no matter what! That makes me feel good tho. From what I understand she has not asked the others to be her bridesmaids yet. I keep telling her she needs too.
     
  10. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Mar 17, 2010

    I think the best advice is to keep everyone calm. Comments like "your hair is messy," really do stress the bride. As long as the ceremony goes like planned, the wedding cake arrives on time, and you don't run out of punch, it is a success.
     
  11. Ms.H

    Ms.H Companion

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    Mar 17, 2010

    Your sister is lucky to have such a supportive and excited MOH/sister! I got to co-MOH (with my other sister) for my sis's wedding a couple summers ago. I think one important thing to remember is the fact that she probably didn't choose her MOH based on who she thought was going to do the best job/ the most things etc.; she chose the person who was important to her and who she wanted to have by her side. So don't get too worried about jobs and responsibilities-- yes, being a MOH has become something of a job, but it is also, as the title says, an honor, so enjoy!

    As far as what needs to be done, a lot of cues do need to be taken from the bride. I would advise you to communicate often, being constantly willing to help, but not insistent. Different brides want help with different things. There are the traditional duties, like bachelorette/shower planning (though ettiquette-wise, I forget if sister is technically supposed to throw a shower...).

    Finally, it was thoughtful of you not to mention how you felt about missing the dress thing. My roommate recently got married, and the single biggest stress to her was her MOH/sister who was constantly getting offended/upset about not being consulted or involved in something. Her sister was making everything personal and not keeping her focus on the bride. If there are other parts of the planning process that are important to you, make sure you let her know. It is so much easier to communicate beforehand than to be upset later. I think one of the best things a MOH can do is to make sure the bride knows that you are available for anything she needs and keep in touch to offer whatever type of support she needs that day, whether it is venting, centerpiece-making, invitation-folding, a distraction, or a chat.
     
  12. mandagap06

    mandagap06 Devotee

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    Mar 17, 2010

    Thanks Ms. H! That helped to know someone else has been there done that! It is kinda hard with her 3 hrs away and not able to come often...which as my mom said could be where I come in handy since I live in our hometown where she will be getting married!
     
  13. ms.defelice

    ms.defelice Rookie

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    Mar 17, 2010

    I was my sister's MOH a few years ago. I didn't get to see her pick out her dress either, and it was something I assumed we would do together. SHE wanted her dress to be a surprise for everyone, (except our mom). I wouldn't be upset that you weren't there. Besides, if it is really important to you, you can have her be there to pick out YOUR dress someday!!
     
  14. mandagap06

    mandagap06 Devotee

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    Mar 17, 2010

    I know I want her there...She's my go to person!! I call or ask her on big desions...Not that I take her advice but I always want it!
     
  15. Sunny Teacher

    Sunny Teacher Rookie

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    Mar 19, 2010

    You may want to check out the website weddingbee.com, it has become a godsend for me when planning my own wedding. The message boards there are fabulous too!
     

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