My sister and mother's day

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by daisycakes, May 10, 2015.

  1. daisycakes

    daisycakes Companion

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    May 10, 2015

    Deleting this post because I've heard from enough people about this. My sister emails me to ask what I'm getting our mom, I tell her a gift certificate to x store and she goes and gets her a gift certificate to the same store but $5 more than me and then gives it to her first and that's perfectly normal behavior. I'm the one who isn't normal because I am upset by this and should apparently see a therapist and secretly continue to resent my sister instead of finding a way to bring it up with her.
     
    Last edited: May 10, 2015
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  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    May 10, 2015

    Let it go. The best gift you can give your mom is family love. No drama over mama!
     
  4. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    Agree with cza. Just not that big of a deal.
     
  5. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    No, I wouldn't make a fuss ON Mother's Day to ruin the day, but you better believe I'd give my sister a piece of my mind after that & I'd simply tell my mom how my sis stole my idea, but the main conversation is between you & your sis, so no need to involve Mom. Now some people may say, but what's the point? I wouldn't want to let something like this go without voicing what I think!

    My BF's twin bro is a true a-hole...always has been. One Mother's Day 2 yrs ago, w/o telling my BF & their other 2 siblings, the bro arranged a limo to take their mother wine tasting so the other siblings had no chance of doing something nice for their mother. He just took her away for the whole day. My BF even drove up w/ his mom that day & was told by his own bro that he couldn't attend the outing that day because he (twin bro) didn't want to pay for him, so my BF was left all alone on Mother's Day while his twin bro was out enjoying his day w/ their Mom. My BF didn't speak to him for months & told me he told him off some, (but my BF's a softy & I'm not so sure how firm he really was). My BF said he talked to his Mom about it a bit too & she said had she known beforehand what he was planning, she wouldn't have gone (I'm not so sure about that either :rolleyes:). Don't know what the other 2 siblings did to their bro.
     
  6. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    May 10, 2015

    Yeah, it won't help anything to let your feelings of being less valued than your sister affect Mother's Day. If you think those feelings are limiting your life, then you could try to do with them via counseling. Otherwise, just let it go and let them all be themselves. Even if your hurt is justified.
     
  7. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    May 10, 2015

    Let it go.

    It's annoying. But let it go.
     
  8. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    What would Elsa do? :whistle:
     
  9. Kat53

    Kat53 Devotee

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    :lol::lol:
     
  10. MissScrimmage

    MissScrimmage Aficionado

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    May 10, 2015

    Just curious if you have siblings of your own?

    No, I would not say anything. I would never tell my mom that one of my sisters 'stole' a gift idea from me. At the end of the day, it's all about your mom. Save the sister fights for something bigger.
     
  11. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    May 10, 2015

    This.
     
  12. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    MissScrimmage, I'm an only child, but seeing all the stuff that my BF goes through w/ his siblings/family throughout the yrs, he & I talk about all the things he did, should have done, etc. all the time & at the end of the day, they can all sit down & go to a BBQ & if he doesn't feel like going to a get together, he won't. They'll never stop loving each other, but they're not going to be anyone's doormats either. His 3 siblings are quite outspoken. He's the black sheep softie of them all, but when something gets him mad, he'll let it be known.

    I'd maybe say something to my mom (NOT on Mother's day itself), but just say in a semi-comical way, "Great! Glad I got my gift card for you weeks ago, so I guess my sis wanted to add to it!" or something to the effect.

    And with my sister, I'd definitely say something when it's just the 2 of us, such as, "You know, that was really messed up what you did to just buy the same gift card. You usually come up w/ your own ideas" OR something to that effect. But she'd know by my words that that wasn't really right what she did.

    So doing that, I wasn't hostile or whining, but I got my points across...nothing wrong w/ that.
     
  13. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    I don't get what the big deal is. Pick your battles. This one seems silly to me (spoken as an only child).

    Your feelings of not being the favorite have little to do with your sister, and a lot to do with yourself. If you want to get over those feelings, it is work for you to do, not something your sister or parents are really going to be able to help repair.
     
  14. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    I agree. And I have TWO sisters. Just not worth the energy.
     
  15. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    Trying to understand how your sister used anything against you....

    Let it go. I don't understand why it has to be seen as a competition. I'm with your dad on this. Having two gift cards to a store she loves is better in the long run. Does it really matter whose she opened first?
     
  16. stephenpe

    stephenpe Connoisseur

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  17. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    I would not make a big deal about this. I wouldn't even make a regular sized deal about this. I may go as far as complaining to my husband, then I'd let it go.
     
  18. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    I think people were just saying be the better person and not make a big deal out of it. Next time just don't share any info. We also don't know what kind of person your sister is aside from this incident so if you are going to have a strong reaction to the situation then maybe there's something we dont' know.
     
  19. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    Ok I am so totally going to go against everyone else on this and tell you confront your sister. Leave Mom out, but sister has a real issue. I have a feeling this isn't that first time something like this or a lifetime of issues have come up. Life is way tooo short to sit on feelings and let them fester. You become bitter and angry. Tell your sister how you feel if she doesn't like it, well to bad so sad.
    I know my opinion is not the norm. Family should always come first but it is apparent that the sister did not think that way either. Sometimes family do suck!!!!!
    Hugs to the original poster.
     
  20. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    txmomteacher2, I agree. I said in my previous 2 posts to do the same!
     
  21. webmistress

    webmistress Devotee

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    May 13, 2015

    I agree.
    Daisy
    Maybe next time dont tell your sister what you're getting your mom? And certainly confront the sister about it...Im also the type that would talk to mom about it in a loving way. Moms are used to dealing with sibling rivalry issues, family should talk and try and heal and work through issues, not hold in their anger. That never helps
     
  22. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    May 13, 2015

    So, daisy, did mom love the gifts? That's all that matters.

    Sibling rivalry is a two way street. You play a part in this...even if that art is jst harboring resentment and bad feelings. Either have a conversation with your sister or let it go. But put an end to it.
     

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