My Mother- In- Law Is Living With Me!

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Daisha, Jul 6, 2009.

  1. Daisha

    Daisha Companion

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    Jul 6, 2009

    First of all I have to say, AHHHHHHHHH! She's driving me crazy. I don't like her, she's not a nice person, and she's crazy. Not crazy in the "Oh, I have a crazy mother-in-law" way, but more like "needs to be on meds" (probably bipolar). She's homeless and so now she's living with us.

    AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    Thanks for listening. I needed to vent to someone, my husband can only take so much of my griping (sp?).

    Thank You!:)
     
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  3. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    Jul 6, 2009

    Sorry to hear about this! Hope it's only temporary!! :eek:
     
  4. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    Sounds like a very sad situation for everyone..:(:(.. I'm so fortunate to have wonderful in-laws.... Even my Brit brother in law who has a very funny accent.....:lol:
     
  5. Rebel1

    Rebel1 Connoisseur

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    You'll be blessed for allowing her to live with you. She needs you and your husband right now. You might be able to make a POSITIVE change in her life.:D
    Things happen for a reason.:)
    Rebel1
     
  6. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Is there any thing you and your husband can to do help her regain her independance?
     
  7. Daisha

    Daisha Companion

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    Yes, we are helping her find a job and a place to stay. And even though I don't like to admit it, she is not that bad. I just have to work on my tolerance for adults. Have tons of tolerance and patience for children, just not so much for adults.
    It is only temporary, hopefully, maybe about two more weeks. But she doesn't have a job yet, so I don't know about the whole two weeks thing.
    I wish this was happening during the school year, when I had a job to go to every day. Now I stay home with her everyday.

    Thank you all for your support, sometimes it just helps to talk about things.
    :)
     
  8. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    Yes, Daisha, getting things off your chest is good for you.

    Hopefully this isn't going to be a long term situation. She's your family and I believe family takes care of one another. I know she's an adult and should have had all of her ducks in a row by now, apparently she's had some hard knocks along the way.

    We never know what life is going to bring us or who we'll need in the future.

    Hopefully, she'll be eternally grateful to you and your husband for your generosity.

    Vent here, you're safe.
     
  9. Tasha

    Tasha Phenom

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    Jul 6, 2009

    Well, vent away so you don't blow up at home. Hopefully you will be able to get her on track, I'm sure she would like to be independent as well.
     
  10. Mamacita

    Mamacita Aficionado

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    I don't have much tolerance for adults, either. I understand that grownups have problems, too, but after a certain age, it's also understood that sane, mature, sentient adults control themselves and try to work things out without burdening other people. I would not mind a bit helping anyone out temporarily, but if it became apparent that he/she wasn't working overtime to rectify the situation, I would not allow it to continue under my roof.

    This is easy to say, I know, and much harder to do. But showing a leech the door is actually doing them a favor. And NEVER allow an adult to harm your family's well-being or situation. If this means kicking somebody out, then do it.

    But temporarily? Let whoever needs help know he/she can come to you and find it. And then, give it cheerfully.

    Sometimes, we even have to do this with our own children. It hurts both of us, but ultimately is best for both of us, too. Some adults just won't put out any effort unless they absolutely have to. Sadly, being over 21 doesn't guarantee self-control, wit, work ethic, or concern for other people. If that is the case, help them out by kicking them out.
     
  11. blindteacher

    blindteacher Cohort

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    Jul 6, 2009

    If you suspect she's mentally ill, is there any way you can get her to receive psychiatric attention? If she has bipolar disorder, that's a very serious illness that requires medication!
     
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2009
  12. tb71

    tb71 Cohort

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    Jul 6, 2009

    You are doing the right thing. :hugs:

    My MIL drives me crazy too and I only have to see her for holidays. She's one of the reasons we got a 3 bdrm house instead of a 4 bdrm...we didn't want it to be convenient to come stay with us. With that said, if she really needed a place to stay we would make room and welcome--she'd still make me crazy but I know I could deal with temporarily.

    Vent here...
     
  13. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Well, hopefully it really is only temporary & 2 wks doesn't turn into 4 wks that doesn't turn into 2 mos! Hopefully, your MIL & you can make the best of it & grow closer.
     
  14. cmw

    cmw Groupie

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    I think they should make a t-shirt that says that!!!!:lol: Good luck! :hugs:
     
  15. Daisha

    Daisha Companion

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    She would never, ever go and see someone by herself. And come to find out, it is very hard to get someone committed against their will.

    My husband has already said that if something happens or this doesn't work out, that we will kick her out. We gave her a timeline of three weeks, not counting the week she was already here when my husband and I were on vacation (showed up at our house, unannounced, after she had hitchhiked here).

    I hope she gets here stuff together and moves out, but I will just have to wait.

    Week one is over today, so hopefully, only two more to go.
     
  16. Daisha

    Daisha Companion

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    Jul 28, 2009

    So, UPDATE, she is still living here and it's now going on 5 1/2 weeks. I can't stand it and I'm not sure that she is going to be moving out soon. It could be for awhile. Well, I want her to move out or I'm moving out. It is driving me crazy.

    I don't know what to do. I'm very unhappy, angry, frustrated, upset and hate feeling this way.

    Sorry for my rant but I need to vent about every half hour (have gone through husband and multiple friends today, so now it's you alls turn). I think venting is helping but I'm still so angry a lot.
     
  17. cmw

    cmw Groupie

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    Jul 28, 2009

    :hugs: How awful!

    This may make you laught though. The post right after yours
    (My Mother- In- Law Is Living With Me!) is Hanging things on brick walls. It made me think of your hubby coming home & seeing his mom attached to the wall. :D
     
  18. Daisha

    Daisha Companion

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    thanks, that did make me laugh
     
  19. cmw

    cmw Groupie

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    The post order has changed. Now the 1st post is It's just a train wreck and then my mother in law is living with me! :lol:
     
  20. chebrutta

    chebrutta Enthusiast

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    :hugs: How does your hubby feel about this?
     
  21. Daisha

    Daisha Companion

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    This is a train wreck, lol. He doesn't know what to feel. He doesn't think that I am unreasonable or anything, but at the same time he wants to help her (that's his mom).
     
  22. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    Jul 28, 2009

    Daisha,
    :( I'm so sorry; what exactly happened? Why is she there? Are there other siblings that your husband has?
    What happened to the time frame? There has got to be some solution that you all can work out. I'm sure it's just as hard for her as it is for you two, RIGHT??

    Think of the end in mind...what is the ultimate goal that all parties can agree on?
     
  23. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Jul 28, 2009

    :lol: cmw, that's great!!!!!

    Daisha~my sister is going through something similar except its been 3 YRS!!!!! They moved into the house thinking the mother in law would be moving out within a few weeks/months. Nope, not even looking for a house!
     
  24. teach2read10

    teach2read10 Companion

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    Jul 28, 2009

    Help

    Look into whatever help you can get from social services before she puts too much strain on your marraige.
     
  25. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    Jul 28, 2009

    Daisha,

    I know EXACTLY how you feel. Back in 2004 my husband went overseas to work. I was finishing up my bachelors and my starting my masters. I asked my mom to come and stay with me on Friday nights only. Well those Friday nights turned into whole weekends and those whole weekends turned into weeks at a time. Then those weeks turned into months and finally after 5 years I had to move 300 miles away for her not to live with me anymore. My mom is also an undiagonosed bipolar. She is a slop at best and didn't help me one bit other than sitting her fat butt on my couch for 5 years. (she does have a job) It was a very stressful situation for me. Since moving a month ago I have felt so relieved. I am so sorry for your situation. Please vent away. If you need to talk with someone who knows what you are going though please feel free to PM anytime.
     
  26. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    I posted the above on July 6th.

    I knew she'd probably still be there! So, what's your next plan? Is there anything you two have in common that you can do together to relieve both your stress or is it just the sight of her face just aggravating for you?

    I don't know what to tell you. My BF & I already discussed that if we get married that neither of our parents, mothers, siblings, etc. are going to be living w/ us. It just never works out.
     
  27. Daisha

    Daisha Companion

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    I am so angry all the time. I hate this. I want my kitchen and bathroom and guest room and MY HOUSE back. She is messy and uses things all the time without asking.

    Sorry was just particularly frustrated this evening.
     
  28. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    So Daisha, what is the plan? First you and hubby have got to talk about it first, then, approach your MIL and give her a date.
    Does your hubby have any brothers or sisters?
    Does your MIL have any financial resources so that she can move into her own apt. ASAP?
     
  29. Special-t

    Special-t Enthusiast

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    Jul 30, 2009

    Can you move her into a cheap motel or apartment for a month just to give yourselves a break? Have you spoken to a social worker? What an awful rut be stuck in ...
     

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