My first pregnancy...I have some questions... =)

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by TennisPlayer, May 20, 2014.

  1. TennisPlayer

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    May 20, 2014

    It's been awhile since I've been on here but some people may remember my name TennisPlayer on here =)

    Anyways, I'm in week 25 now of my pregnancy and excited to be a mom after several years of working as a nanny and/or teacher!


    Here are some of my questions that I'd love to hear your opinions if you're a mom:


    1) What are some must do's around the house to get ready for baby besides making space for baby things?

    2) What are some fun baby shower games you enjoyed at a baby shower you attended?

    3) How many weeks ahead of the due date should I "have everything" that are the basics baby needs (I'm waiting til after my baby shower and we're getting some hand me downs eventually so I want to see what I really need after that)


    Any other good tips etc to know while pregnant?
    I have another ultrasound tomorrow. So far, they said baby girl is growing on track, as expected so that's good
    . :thumb:
     
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  3. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    I've got to get to bed, but wanted to say congrats before I did. How exciting!

    And it's good to "see" you again.
     
  4. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Congrats!

    My advice is to make sure that your home is clean and that all the new baby stuff has its own home. Really take some time to think about how you're going to use the space you have. For example, is your changing area located in an accessible spot? We had originally put our changing area in baby's room, but we quickly realized that it was super inconvenient to bring baby to that spot 12 times per day.

    I recommending having all the essential stuff at least four weeks before your due date. Many babies are a little early, and you'll want to have stuff like diapers, wipes, bottles (if formula feeding and/or pumping, and also just in case breastfeeding doesn't work or takes some time to get figured out), a few blankets and swaddlers, and a couple of outfits.

    Have you thought about your birth plan and all that? Now might be the time to start thinking about all that. My birth plan was extremely loose: basically that I wanted my baby and me to make it out alive and that I preferred not to use narcotics prior to getting an epidural (although an epidural was fine). Although I felt like I was very open-minded and easy-going about the whole thing, I ended up having a lot of things go unexpectedly, and it was upsetting. I ended up asking for narcotics because the pain was unbelievable. I ended up needing Pitocin because I wasn't progressing once my water had broken on its own. My first epidural didn't work so I needed a second one, which stopped working right when it was time for me to push. My baby was wedged in at a weird angle, so I ended up with an unplanned c-section after 30 hours of hard, active labor and 3 hours of pushing. During my c-section, my ureter/bladder got nicked, so there was a lot of scariness and urgency during that. Basically there was just a lot going on, almost none of which I had anticipated. I recommend that you think about the what-ifs and deal-breakers so that you aren't surprised during labor, which is really no place for surprises. :lol:
     
  5. Securis

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    May 21, 2014

    Congratulations!!

    Not a lady but as a witness, here's some things that stood out. Maybe not necessarily essential but maybe.

    Clothes, you gotta plan sizes to seasons. That tiny detail was like an epiphany when it occurred to us. 6-9 months out, what's the weather going to be like? And you don't necessarily need to detach tags and wash everything before your baby arrives. Birth weight will dictate what you use first. You get their guesstimate so you'll know around-about what sizes to have ready. Anything smaller can be returned for larger.

    There's a youtube video called The Business of Being Born. If you're sensitive, you may not want to view it. However, it does give a good perspective on natural versus taking the standard meds and/or opting for C-section. Spins a bit more towards au natural. My wife cried because it was scary to see women in labor knowing she too would have to endure. So if you're sensitive, you may not want to view it.

    We had all our essentials months ahead of time because my wife is type A. Being a teacher, she really went to town nesting and organizing. I helped. Buying it new is something you can do but we found stellar deals using Facebook meetup groups for buying/selling/ or trading. We got some really nice things second hand for pennies on the dollar.

    At our ultrasounds and Dr. visits , something we weren't that good at, we didn't form questions on the spot. We had to digest before coming back with our questions. It's a lot to take in so what I wished we had done from the beginning is ask them for the brain dump method of informing us. That way, we'd have questions answered we didn't know we'd have or it might lead to other better questions.


    If your hospital offers it, take the tour and preregister. Simplest effective thing we did. Do it early. Turned out we were 6 weeks early due to an unfortunate common not-to-threatening complication. Our amniotic fluid began decreasing for possibly several but undetermined reasons so our Doc said, "You're having this baby." We said in tandem, "Now!" She said, "Today". We said in tandem, "Seriously!" She said, "Yes. go to the hospital, et al." True story.

    I wish you all the same joy we had. Best wishes!
     
  6. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    I totally agree with making a plan, but much like teaching-be ready to throw it out the window. It was very very scary to me to have things that I had been thinking about for 9 months just change in a matter of minutes. I had mentally prepared to give birth naturally, and hadn't even thought about the possibility of a C-section. Now, three C-sections later, that is the norm, but when I was 22 and scared to death, it was like the worst thing in the world that could have happened.

    I will say, knowing what I know now, if I could go back I would resist the C-section more. I don't believe it was medically necessary at the time, but more that my doctor had an agenda and wanted to stick to it. My baby wasn't in distress, just turned, and I wish I would have given her a little more time to settle in to be born naturally. But, like I said, I was 22-when a doctor told me what we were going to do I just blindly did it. That fact then caused me to have 2 subsequent C-sections, which were medically necessary (too much scar tissue), but that first (and ultimately the second and third) could have been avoided.

    So that was a really long way of saying-know what you want, have someone available to help you communicate that to the medical staff, and be prepared to modify your plan!
     
  7. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    This is a real documentary, not just a YouTube thing. You can find it on Netflix. While some of it is interesting and thought-provoking, I think that most of it was garbage and propaganda. The biggest things I got from it were that doctors like to push c-sections so that they can make their tee times, that home births are perfect and amazing, and Pitocin is the devil. I think that these messages are untrue and potentially dangerous. Watch it if you must, and if you're super into seeing Ricki Lake's boobs, but take it with a grain of salt.

    I had not planned on having a c-section or needing Pitocin. Would I have preferred neither of those things? Absolutely. For me and my baby, though, avoiding those things wasn't the best or safest option. My water had broken on its own and I had labored for 12 hours with zero progress (I was at a two). Without an intact amniotic sac, my baby became at risk for infection after that long, so it was important to get things moving along--hence the Pitocin.

    My c-section happened because my baby's head was turned at an unusual angle. The nurses tried manually turning my baby, but that was unsuccessful. The baby became stuck and wasn't budging. My doctor advised me that a c-section was essential and that doing it at that point would be better than waiting longer because the baby would never come out vaginally and would end up in distress. He told me after the c-section that he had trouble pulling the baby out and had to get another doctor to help because the baby was completely stuck. I know that a c-section was the right choice for us and that it saved both our lives. I'm not about to listen to Ricki Lake or anyone else affiliated with The Business of Being Born tell me that I was wrong or selfish for that decision. It's my body, and I get to decide what is best for it.
     
  8. MissCeliaB

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    The issue is not using those when medically necessary, the issue is when women schedule their deliveries out of convenience rather than out of what is the best medical decision without being informed of the risks of doing so.
     
  9. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    I'm responding specifically to the message about c-sections in the documentary. I felt that the focus on c-sections was primarily about "busy" women who don't have time to give birth in a "natural" way, as though a c-section birth is somehow artificial, or about women who are too stupid/ignorant/uninformed to know their options, whose doctors are conniving and scheming to force them into unnecessary major surgery for no reason other than the doctor's personal convenience.

    Furthermore, I hated the documentary's implication that women who have c-sections are causing their children to develop autism and ADHD. I am not really into that sort of ignorant stance and the way that it felt like the documentary was trying to shame women who didn't make the "enlightened" choice to have a "natural" home birth.
     
  10. sue35

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    May 21, 2014

    Do you have a two story house? If so, changing area on both floors. If your laundry is in the basement, you might want a hamper on the first floor as well. With my twins I spend a lot of the day in the TV/kitchen room. There is a changing table and a hamper in it. My girls go through a lot of burp cloths. A lot. So much spit up.

    Have a plan for meals. I can't imagine having to think about cooking right now. We have meals set for three weeks. After that we might not eat.

    I hope it all goes smoothly and congratulations!
     
  11. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    I have seen where a lot of new moms prepare casseroles and freeze them so they are easy to prepare when baby comes!!!
    Sue I would say the same thing about changing table.

    My 2 cents don't waste money on a diaper genie...the thing stinks!! We had one my cousin used to try it out!!! HATED it. Got a small can that has step pedal and just use store plastic bags & get rid of the waste either every day or every other!!!
    Something to think about (happened to be at Babies R us for baby shower ) people talking about wet wipe warmers.... now may be nice if your home but if you go out wipe not going to be warm....never used one kiddos survived!!! LOL!!!
     
  12. kcjo13

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    I agree Diz! Both are nice, but not necessary. The wipe warmer was kinda nice in the middle of the night to not fully wake the baby, but I didn't even use it after my first.

    Sue-congrats on the twins! I knew it was getting close but I didn't hear they were born. I hope you're settling in nicely!
     
  13. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    I missed knowing the twins were here. Congratulations, Sue! I'm so happy for you.
     
  14. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    Congratulations!

    I'm not a mom so I can't give any advice on that. I am a frequent baby shower goer and I'm one who would please please recommend to NOT play games. I hate them. One time I went and we had to try different baby foods. Yuck. Just have a nice gathering with baby themed decorations and such. Let people mingle and have a good time. Open your presents and be thankful. No need for silly games.

    :)
     
  15. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    My cousin did 2 decorating centers and she picked fave that person got a "prize" and they did a timer when she opened presents...when timer went off that person got prize. We did yarn around belly guess.... it was fun & I guessed my sister's belly perfect (funny thing is she lives states away as well)!
     
  16. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    This game can be really embarrassing/uncomfortable, especially if the mom-to-be is on the chubby side. I specifically requested that we not do this game.

    My favorite thing to do at my shower was to have guests write down suggestions for baby names. We had been keeping both the name and gender a secret. My guests gave me some excellent suggestions. :haha:
     
  17. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Caesar... that is true.
    We gave my name, hubby's and last name and had them try to come up with as many names in 2 mins
     
  18. FarFromHome

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    I agree! I also requested to not have that game.

    I've just found that nothing was like I thought it would be. My life has changed completely. You have to adjust to things based on the baby. I also REALLY wanted to breastfeed, but I don't have enough milk and have had to supplement formula. It's been upsetting to me, but the most important thing is that the baby is fed. I'm still trying to get my supply up, but it's hard.

    I would suggest not having people to your house to visit until the baby is at least 2 weeks old. We had tons of visitors in his first week and it was completely overwhelming. I was exhausted and trying to figure out the feeding situation. And I had so much anxiety when they were passing him around to hold. Everyone thought they would help by holding the baby so I could sleep. But I can't sleep when he's not around! I would rather have them help by helping with cooking, cleaning, etc. (Having visitors at the hospital was fine for me-it has just been hard at home.)

    I would try to get some meals ready ahead of time and freeze. It has been hard to find time to eat, much less cook.
     
  19. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    FFH...keep pumping...eat oatmeal...supposed to help boost production.

    Good advice about visitors. My sis was told (she had baby early) that baby burns 5 cals being passed just once!!
     
  20. Jem

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    Ok, so I actually love our Diaper Genie. We got it several months in because we couldn't stand the smell of our small step trash can, and it's worked wonderfully. ;)

    My tip of the day: If you have a bassinet attachment for your stroller, put it on and use it around the house. We had Henry in that rolling bed at the hospital, and it was great for wheeling him around the hospital. When we got home, we thought-man, we'd love one of those. And then we realized our stroller (a Bugaboo) had a bassinet attachment. We stuck it on and it was just like the rolling bed! We could put him in there and he would sleep or start at his hanging things and we could just roll him around the house!

    I had everything ready about a month before he was due and was glad-I was just too tired and cranky to do anything at the end! He ended up being two weeks late, so we didn't need to rush. But you will probably be TIRED and just want her out, so get everything done while you have a smidge of energy left.
     
  21. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    I agree about the no-visitors rule for the first few weeks. The only visitors you will want are the ones who can be counted on to do the dirty work, like cleaning your house, folding your undies, washing your dishes, etc. You might not feel your very best, and you probably won't be in the mood to do a lot of entertaining or housework. If your guests are willing to step up and do that sort of thing, they will be a great help to you. If not, they will just cause you a lot of stress.

    My mom and dad came to help with the baby a few days after the baby was born; they stayed for a couple of weeks. Their help was absolutely invaluable to me. I trusted the baby with them, so I had no trouble taking naps and showers away from the baby. I didn't feel awkward about asking my mom to cook dinner or wash clothes (but honestly I didn't even need to ask because she just sort of did those things on her own). I also experienced some pretty rough post-partum depression which, along with my c-section recovery, made me basically a teary, painful lump. I can't even imagine how difficult it would have been for me without my mom there to help.
     
  22. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    I joke that I'm waiting until my mom retires to have kids, but really, I know I could not do it without her help, so there's no way I'd have kids while my mom is still working!
     
  23. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    A few more things that I thought of:

    You might want to start getting recommendations from your friends with kids for a pediatrician. My hospital needed to know the name of my pediatrician when we showed up to deliver. (They can put down the name of the on-call pediatrician if you don't have your own pediatrician, but it's easier if you already know who you'll be seeing.)

    You probably won't be allowed to take the baby home from the hospital until you've got your carseat properly installed. Don't wait until you're in Labor & Delivery to take the carseat out of the box. Get that all squared away about a month before you plan to deliver, just in case.

    Make sure you know your district's policy on FMLA and maternity leave if you plan to be using it. I was surprised to learn some of the polices that my district has, and it caused me to have to alter the amount of time I had been planning to take off.

    Make sure that you have all your work paperwork filled out for FMLA, maternity leave, short-term disability, etc. as soon as it is allowed. In my district, you need to request FMLA no more than 30 days before the expected due date. Once you do that, they send you paperwork, some of which you fill out and some of which your doctor fills out. It can take several weeks to get all that paperwork together, so it's best to get a move on it as soon as you can.
     
  24. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    And I believe that fire/police stations offer to install them for you so you know they're in there properly.
     
  25. Rox

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    I was definitely grateful to have frozen meals that I made during my 2nd trimester. I had twins, and I had prepared enough complete meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner to last 6 weeks. Also, I was always thirsty, and I happened to have bicycle bottles and would leave them on every couch, end table, wherever I sat to breastfeed and would drink every time I sat down. The bicycle bottles were nice because if they fell over, they didn't leak.

    I did have early labor and had to head straight to the hospital. I was SO thankful I had a bag packed because hubby was traveling and my local family members were out of town, so I was able to send a co-worker to my home to pick it up. If I didn't have that bag packed, she would have had to search around the house for stuff :-/

    I hated visitors at the hospital. I had gas and didn't want to get up in front of visitors for fear they would see my backside, but it became so painful and embarrassing. Wait until you're there, then invite people based on how you're feeling. Also, you have to TELL people that you will not want visitors. Otherwise, they'll just show up. :-|
     
  26. swansong1

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    Make your plans about who will be in the delivery room clear. Some mothers are uncomfortable with anyone but dad in there. Some want every family member. It helps prevent bad feelings if your wishes are known ahead of time.

    In our case, we didn't even tell the family until after our first child was born. MIL was already predicting doom and gloom because the baby was late and I just didn't want to deal with her attitude while I was in labor. She turned out to be a marvelous grandma!
     
  27. AdamnJakesMommy

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    I have had three baby boys, my youngest is 9 months old! Having had three, I can say how easy just having an "only" child as an infant compared to having an infant with one or two other small children in the house!!

    In general, you should have everything prepped one month before the due date. My biggest piece of advice is to be well-stocked, at least for 3-4 weeks worth of stuff. The first few weeks home you ARE NOT going to want to go out, so make sure to have plenty of formula (if bottle feeding), diapers, wipes, diaper rash cream, baby soap, pacifiers, etc. I didn't want to take baby out so young and I was to exhausted to do it anyways.
     
  28. Tasha

    Tasha Phenom

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    I just hosted a shower and had the most fun games, everyone loved them. One, I bought party favor play dough and each guest made a baby out of it (it's not that much play dough, so it was hard!). The other each person got a straw and we formed 2 lines and passed a pacifier down the lines in a race, I wasn't sure everyone would do it, but they did and we all laughed the game away. If you drp the pacifier, you start over.

    I would be sure to get a humidifier and baby medicine basics. The medicines aren't recommended for the first few months, but you don't want to go out in the night when you do need it. My daughter had the humidifier on over half the time her first two years.
     
  29. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Gas drops and gripe water. I think that you can use them both right away.

    Also, bookmark this Youtube video. It knocks my kid out in under a minute.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUwEiMNhOCM
     
  30. Tasha

    Tasha Phenom

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    Yes, you can use those right away, and if would have them on hand! I meant infant Tylenol/ Motrin, orajel, etc...

    Another random thing I loved, a mini battery operated mixer for formula, no clumps and was $4 and made my life easier.
     
  31. yearroundteach

    yearroundteach Companion

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    First of all...congratulations!

    I am a very new mom (just a few weeks) so take what I say with a grain of salt as I am still learning myself.

    1) I agree with what someone else said that you really should take a lot of time now to organize, purge, and plan where everything will go. That is something my husband and I worked on a great deal the last couple months of my pregnancy and I am SO glad that we did. It is so nice to have so many things cleaned and organized during the first hectic weeks home with a newborn.

    If you have a 2 story home I would suggest having a baby "station" both upstairs and downstairs. Most of my middle of the night changings happen in her nursery upstairs but during the day I'm mostly stationed in my living room. I would hate to have to go upstairs all day to change her, get a blanket/burp cloth, etc.

    2) My shower didn't have any games which I was totally fine with but I love playing games at showers (though I know that is not always true with many guests). I have played the baby food tasting game, string around the belly (though I get why some moms might not like that), the baby in the ice cube game, and the clothes pin game (the rules vary but you can easily google it).

    3) I would STRONGLY suggest having everything that is important to you done at least a month in advance. I ended up having my daughter 3 weeks early and I didn't have my hospital bag packed which caused me a great deal of anxiety being the type A personality that I am. I had a very healthy, typical, uneventful pregnancy so I was shocked to go into labor that early and I was very happy that I had most everything ready so early (minus the darn bag!)

    Other things/tips:

    Go into your labor with a plan but be ready to be flexible. I wanted a natural birth with limited medical intervention. I ended up having to have Pitocin which did not thrill me but it was necessary. Because I told myself ahead of time that I would be flexible with what I wanted as long as it didn't impact my baby negatively, I was able to accept the change and forge ahead and still have the natural birth I planned with just that small intervention.

    I would also suggest to have a plan of what you will do if something does not go according to how you planned (both during labor and after). I planned on breastfeeding and didn't even consider anything else. In the end that didn't work out and it caused a lot of anxiety and tears on my part because I never considered that something that's supposed to come so naturally might not and I didn't have a plan of what I would do in that case.

    I second what Caesar said about having all paperwork filled out and ready as early as you are able. I couldn't believe the hoops I had to jump through my first week home from the hospital with my insurance company, disability insurance, and FMLA. I'm actually still dealing with it all as we speak. I really should have had more of it completed earlier. I didn't because most of it cannot be submitted until after the birth but it would have saved me a lot of stress to have completed most of it ahead of time.

    I also agree with not having visitors the first week or two. There is absolutely no way I could have handled having people over when I was in the middle of sleep deprivation and my breastfeeding "depression" (I put depression in quotes because it isn't quite the correct word but it's the best I can come up with. I was inconsolable most of the time...poor DH).

    This post is getting out of control in length so I will end it with these few tidbits:
    *Plan what you'll do for food, whether that be freezing meals, ordering in, having family bring food, etc. My husband and I didn't and we still starve most days. As I type this it is 10:40 pm and we haven't eaten since lunch time.
    *Become a swaddling master as soon as you can.
    *Have more diapers and wipes than you'll ever think you'll need and then have more than that :)
     
  32. sue35

    sue35 Habitué

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    If you are bottle feeding, there is no reason to warm up the formula. Having it cold is just as good and so much easier. My babies have it cold, room temp, whatever and like it just as much.
     
  33. TamaraF

    TamaraF Companion

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    Congratulations! And now be prepared for everyone in the world to tell you what you are doing wrong. :)

    The best thing we ever bought was a battery operated swing. God, I loved that thing.

    If you are using formula, get someone to boil the water BEFORE you come home from the hospital. Our first hour home was a disaster because we boiled the water....waited for it to cool....read the stupid formula directions...made a bottle....spilled it..started over... all while baby was screaming and I was sobbing.
     
  34. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Jun 4, 2014

    Instead of boiling water, use filtered water. We have one of those five-gallon jug dispenser things and it works great.
     
  35. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2003
    Messages:
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    Jun 4, 2014

    I remember we made for my neighbor but the steps I've forgotten.... Bottles & nipples to bottles everywhere & boiled for cleaning...LOL!!! Neighbor is in early 20s now...UGH!!!!
     

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