"My father punched me yesterday."

Discussion in 'Debate & Marathon Threads Archive' started by schoolteacher, Oct 26, 2010.

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  1. Jerseygirlteach

    Jerseygirlteach Groupie

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    Oct 30, 2010

    Wow, I'm not sure why you took it that way but I'm sorry. I'm just saying that, at least in my state, the law holds ME responsible for reporting it. I went ahead and looked this up again after reading the OP and there's no dispute about it. It really doesn't much matter what the rules of the admin or the district are. I'm legally required (and morally bound IMO) to report it to CPS to make sure it actually gets reported.

    I realize now after reading other posts that other states may differ in requirements but I'm only really aware of the requirements of teachers in my state.

    However, in no way was I trying to sound condescending and I never imagined that anyone could take offense at what I said. My only interest is in helping the OP in case she may be held liable and, of course, giving the advice that I think is in the best interest of the child in question.
     
  2. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    Oct 31, 2010

    I'm posting here because I would like to keep up and see what happens.
     
  3. kteachone

    kteachone Companion

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    Oct 31, 2010

    Maybe it's because you said I give DANGEROUS advice.
     
  4. Jerseygirlteach

    Jerseygirlteach Groupie

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    Oct 31, 2010

    Yes, I meant dangerous because I believe NOT reporting it to CPS potentially puts both the OP and the child at risk. But again, I'm sorry if you were offended. It wasn't my intention.
     
  5. teach2read10

    teach2read10 Companion

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    Nov 1, 2010

    Report it

    You have no choice but to report this to your principal and possibly outside authoriities. It's not likely that an abusive parent will just stop being abusive. I know that you are afraid that the child will suffer repercussions but the reality is that an abuser will always find a "reason" to hurt someone who is helpless to stop them.
     
  6. Bumble

    Bumble Groupie

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    Nov 1, 2010

    Report it to the Principal, counselor, and student advisor (if you have one). Someone should do a home visit. CPS should be contacted after your school has investigated the issue. CPS is a JOKE here. They will not investigate an issue unless we have proof AND documentation that we investigated.

    It is horrible that this is the way it is. I guess they do this to determine if it is a false accusation. Counselors and student advisors will investigate the same day a report is filed. Depending on the situation, they will report it to CPS the same day.

    You MUST report it. Good luck! I hope the kid is ok.
     
  7. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    Nov 2, 2010

    We are required to report to CPS here and they conduct the investigation. They are usually very good about that. I worked at DSS for a short period and know most of the CPS investigators personally. I don't always agree with the decisions they make AFTER the investigation, but their decisions are based on what they are allowed to do by law.
     
  8. schoolteacher

    schoolteacher Habitué

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    Nov 8, 2010

    I spoke to union legal counsel, who advised me that I need go no further, that I am absolved of responsibility at this point.

    I emailed the counselor, asking what steps were taken in regard to this situation.

    She told me that she did not know. She reported the situation to the principal, and was not informed of anything further. She pulled the boy today to speak with him, and told me that nothing new came out of the conversation.

    I did notice three small bruises on his arm today. He does play a lot of sports - football and basketball. I intend to ask him about those tomorrow. I saw the father for the first time on Friday. He was picking the boy up in the school yard. The man is huge. He did not look happy. Maybe because there is an investigation going on. Or maybe because that's just the way he is. Seeing him next to this small boy really drove home for me the boy's helplessness in this situation.

    Clearly, I'm not going to be told about any steps that are being taken here.
     
  9. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

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    Nov 8, 2010

    I hope everything works out for this little guy. My class and I were talking about heros today and one of my students said that moms and dads could be heros and then he said "But not my dad because he chokes me" :( I'm just sitting and waiting for social services to decide when this student has been through 'enough'...
     
  10. Muttling

    Muttling Devotee

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    Nov 8, 2010

    My thoughts and prayers are with you him as well as you.


    You HAVE done right thus far in making sure that you have met your obligations. I know that is of little comfort, but the first rule of rescue is to not become a victim. You have done that.

    The only thing I can say from here is to keep inquiring as you have and to start a journal documenting absolutely everything with dates as well as names. Write in it what has happened to date as best as you can remember now and include the conversation with the attorney. If a person who has a greater responsibility than you fails this child, such a journal is powerful evidence of what has happened and their negligence.

    Finally, understand that there are privacy laws concerning this situation and they may be dealing with it completely appropriately while giving you details may be inappropriate.

    In short, it's complicated and there may be more going on than you are allowed to see. This is the nature of our litigation happy society.
     
  11. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Nov 8, 2010

    I feel sorry for kids in this situation & I know us educators have to report it by law, but we're thrown into a situation that we don't really want to be in & our personal safety could be at risk. In this day & age, adults could seek revenge on a teacher they know reported them, but we, like the kids, are the innocent bystandards being tossed into this. So many people are crazy these days, yet we can't look the other way & ignore the abuse that we plainly hear or see. :(
     
  12. shouldbeasleep

    shouldbeasleep Enthusiast

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    Nov 8, 2010

    In Georgia, we are asked to go through the counselor and administration. We are not to call DFACS ourselves.

    However, about ten years ago, I did it anyway. It was not an ordinary situation (not that these are anyway.) I felt that nothing was being done about this situation that was not physical, but severe mental and verbal abuse. Glad I went over admin's head. She ended up living with a relative in a happy home. But I got "fussed at" for not following protocol. Whatever. The more complaints DFACS got, the better was my opinion.
     
  13. hatima

    hatima Devotee

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    Dec 8, 2010

    Here, in NM, a person cannot report "proxy" for the teacher any longer. The teacher has to by LAW report ALL reports of abuse, even if it is a sibling. I had to call very recently and am afraid of the mom finding out. (It wasn't a call on her, but on an older child in the home). I did remain anonymous, but they still know who I am. So no it isn't really about who reports it, just that it gets reported.

    In NM, as I've been told the last four years in training, "You must report it. Anyone else reporting for you is hearsay."
     
  14. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    Dec 8, 2010

    Same in Oklahoma, no "second-hand accounts allowed!"
     
  15. monsieurteacher

    monsieurteacher Aficionado

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    Dec 8, 2010

    It makes me sick that some states would not legally require teachers to report to DCS, as opposed to a school counselor and the principal. I realize that's the way things are, but I don't like it at all.
     
  16. schoolteacher

    schoolteacher Habitué

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    Dec 8, 2010

    The father came in for a report card conference last week and was as pleasant as could be. He was very pleased with his son's grades. I am very sure that he would not have been so pleasant if any action had been taken here.


    Yesterday, the father came to speak to me in the yard. He was very angry about a situation involving his son and one of the aides at the school. He approached me and said, "Tell that a-hole who spoke to my son yesterday that he had no right to do what he did." I was alarmed by his demeanor and his inappropriate language. I advised him to contact the school office.

    The next morning as I was walking down the hall towards the office, another teacher warned me to stay away. "An angry parent is in the office with the principal. It's one of your kids." I turned around and went the other way. I heard nothing further. But I couldn't help wondering if the principal might have a change of heart now that she is personally aware that this man has explosive tendencies.
     
  17. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    Dec 12, 2010

    that's really sad; but that shouldn't keep the principal from standing up for the child.
     
  18. gigi

    gigi Groupie

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    Dec 14, 2010

    Do you hear the outcome of the meeting in the office with this parent? Are things ok with you?
     
  19. schoolteacher

    schoolteacher Habitué

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    Dec 14, 2010

    Unfortunately we do not have open lines of communication at our school, so I am not aware of the outcome of that meeting.

    Things remain the same with the boy in class. He has very low self esteem. When he encounters any minor frustration, he bangs his head on the desk. He breaks out into tears if I correct his behavior, so I try to be very gentle and understanding with him. He needs a lot of support, and I do my best to support him.

    Thank you for asking. I can't tell you how much it means to know that there are people who care about this situation. At my school, the administration is very cold, unresponsive, verbally abusive to teachers, and lends no support.

    Coming here and reading your posts lets me keep a fresh perspective about what happens at my school, about how bizarre it really is compared to the rest of the world.

    That's priceless to me. So thanks to all of you.
     
  20. gigi

    gigi Groupie

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    Dec 14, 2010

    I am really sorry that your administration is like that, they are fortunate to have you. Hugs to you and the little boy, who is lucky to be in your class.
     
  21. skittleroo

    skittleroo Connoisseur

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    Dec 14, 2010

    at least in Texas - you are not off the hook just because you tell principal or counselor. We are required to report. Yes tell them so they know - but you are obligated.
     
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