My daughter's day today

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by mom2ohc, Dec 12, 2011.

  1. mom2ohc

    mom2ohc Habitué

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    Dec 12, 2011

    Remember the "spelling test teacher"?

    I could just cry.

    Today at dinner Hailey complained that her day was not that good. At centers, she just sat at her seat and colored. Why?

    Well, there are 5 kids in the group. They were supposed to play what sounds like "Memory" with flashcards - to make compound words. Two girls paired up and two boys paired up and they said that she couldn't play. She said she went to her desk and cried only a little, then colored. After a while, the teacher asked her why she was at her seat, and she told her. The teacher told Hailey that the boys said she could play, but Hailey said she didn't HEAR them say that. Then they said she could play the after-center game with them, and she said no thanks.

    Her teacher asked her if she had read any books lately so Hailey told her the name of a book, and the teacher let her take an AR test on the book instead.

    I just don't get it. The teacher said before that Hailey has a hard time assimilating into a group, I said because of her hearing, she said no because she doesn't know how. Ok, so she thinks Hailey doesn't know how to join, so why isn't she helping her join in?!?!?!?

    Honestly, and I just asking for too much?!?!?

    This is the most painful experience I have gone through as a parent. Seeing her heart and her spirit so sad.
     
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  3. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Dec 13, 2011

    Five students in a group combined with activities that lend themselves to working with a partner are often a recipe for disaster for someone. Given what you've told us, Hailey sounds like a student who, right now, needs a little bit of extra assistance from the teacher--ensuring that she heard and understands the directions, help joining a group, monitoring during an activity, helping her to participate fully in all classroom activities. Isn't that what teachers need to do for all of their students?
     
  4. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Dec 13, 2011

    How very very sad.

    The teacher KNOWS Hailey has hearing issues. Yet she repeatedly seems to forget that those issues impact Hailey throughout the day. Did the teacher not notice that one of her students was crying??? In fact, she was excluded from a classroom activity, walked across the room to another desk, cried for a while, and colored, all without th teacher noticing???? Really????

    What a poor excuse for a caring educator.

    Who are you going to talk to about this today?
     
  5. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    Dec 13, 2011

    I'm so sorry that you and your daughter are going through this. Is your meeting today?

    I sure hope that some good comes out of the meeting.
     
  6. mom2ohc

    mom2ohc Habitué

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    Dec 13, 2011

    We are going to speak to the principal and the guidance counselor. My plan of action is:

    First to discuss Hailey's documented hearing loss (with paperwork from the Audiologist)

    Then to figure out if we can have a 504 written for her.

    Next to brainstorm a list of strategies for a teacher to have in order to ensure Hailey is meeting success in the classroom.

    and then finally to discuss the clear failings of this teacher, and to request that Hailey is switched into another class.

    I have my own laundry list of things that the teacher has said/done/not done for/with Hailey. I do not want to totally destroy her, or be a total monster, but, I will go as far as I need to go to stress how many things are wrong with her teaching/not teaching Hailey.
    How does that sound?
     
  7. smurfette

    smurfette Habitué

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    Dec 13, 2011

    I think it sounds good until the last point about discussing the "clear failings" of the teacher. Just by the wording here and that last paragraph with "I don't want to destroy the teacher, but I will" mentality, suggests to me that you are making this personal. As hard as it may be, you need to stay calm and focused on what is best for your daughter. I'm not saying you shouldn't request to have your daughter moved, but you should keep it courteous and constructive and not throw in the low blows like last time. That won't help your daughter.

    Besides, you only have your daughter's side of the story for this latest event, and it doesn't quite make sense to me...did the boys say she couldn't play, or did they say she could play and she didn't hear them? I am wondering if your daughter knows you don't see eye to eye with this teacher and is tailoring her story accordingly.
     
  8. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    Dec 13, 2011

    I think that it is okay to suggest that you would like a change of placement for your daughter. She might just need it and you might too. It's also okay to share with the administration about the strange or not so good things that the teacher has done in regards to your daughter and you.
     
  9. donziejo

    donziejo Devotee

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    Dec 13, 2011

    Good luck with your meeting. As the mother of a grown child with learning disabilites, I also would caution you in your approach. I found the best way to advocate for my child was to write a letter to the principal with statements like...A is a little girl with dyslexia. "She is on an IEP and I feel that teacher ABC is a good fit for her ..."

    I'm sorry you are going through this. My daughter had 2 teachers that honestly should not have been in the teaching profession. Most teachers were kind and caring...they just had not been trained.

    A 504 sounds like a good place to start.
     
  10. DrivingPigeon

    DrivingPigeon Phenom

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    Dec 13, 2011

    Yikes, good luck with everything. :(

    It really just sounds like this teacher does not like Hailey. It seems like she is annoyed by her, and thinks that her hearing problems are an excuse, rather than a legitimate problem.

    It must be hard to send her off to school. :hugs: Keep us updated!
     
  11. mom2ohc

    mom2ohc Habitué

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    Dec 13, 2011

    See, it is personal for me. It is very personal. Hailey is my child, and I need to advocate for her. I have remained very calm through this entire situation, and I am focused on her, and all I really want to do is make sure that she gets what she needs, and that she is treated with respect. Of course to have a teacher motivate and inspire her - that would be a bonus right now. (not saying that I don't want that because I do - but my sights are not even set there right now.)

    I can not say what happened in the class, because I am not there, all I can do is share Hailey's experience. I am sure that Hailey does not know how I feel about her teacher, and I am sure that what Hailey said about the situation has another side. The end result though is the same, hailey felt left out, and the teacher did nothing that I can see to make sure she was included in the game and Hailey came home feeling badly.
     
  12. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Dec 13, 2011

    As a deaf educator, I have not been pleased with your story thus far. With this situation, however, I'm a little unclear.

    Did the teacher clarify that Hailey could indeed go play in the after center game with them? Who did Hailey say "no thanks" to? The boys when they asked or the teacher when she clarified? Is it possible the teacher felt Hailey was too upset still and needed a cool down period thus offered her redirection? Ideally she would have talked to her later to reaffirm how she felt, but often kids clam up and don't always continue to show being upset later. If this were the case, then the teacher would not want to reopen wounds. My experience though is that little girls tend to bottle up and hold it in until their feelings are FULLY resolved. That sounds like what Hailey did. I agree that Hailey could have been given more support to help her rejoin the group better but I can also see a scenario in which redirection and time to cool off (however justified she was in feeling that way) could potentially be just as likely of a scenario.

    Yes, the end result was Hailey felt excluded and hurt.

    Knowing what we know about the teacher already, the opposite scenario in which Hailey was just ignored and the teacher didn't pay enough attention to figure out how to best help the situation is ALSO a potential scenario.

    IF I didn't already know the story, I wouldn't be sure exactly what happened from your description.

    Should she have been able to see her cross the room and cry for a bit? YES! But nobody knows how long this actually took place. Kids at this age don't have the best concept of time.

    As for it being personal.. you darn skippy it is personal. It's your daughter!

    I do understand having to temperate it at times because otherwise you alienate the people who can help you out of this situation. Yet at the same time, you do have to press upon and be her advocate in every way.
     
  13. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Dec 13, 2011

    How did it go?
     
  14. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    I'm hoping for a successful outcome. I have a feeling you are going to need to ask for a change in placement though. Sometimes you just can't make someone understand something they aren't open to understand.
     
  15. mom2ohc

    mom2ohc Habitué

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    Dec 13, 2011

    ahhh... I can take a breath again...

    I had a fantastic meeting.

    It was 75 nice long thorough minutes. I will talk more about it later, but the outcome was that the principal recommended we move Hailey into another class.

    Now of course, I need a way to tell Hailey why she is getting a new teacher.

    The principal is going to call me on Friday after I get through the first few days with Hailey - to let me know her recommendation of which of two teachers. Then I will meet with the teacher next week to discuss Hailey :)
     
  16. mom2ohc

    mom2ohc Habitué

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    Dec 13, 2011

    Thanks so much for asking!! and helping!! and caring!!

    think of Hailey tomorrow at 8:15 - that is what time we have to be at the surgery center.
     
  17. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Oh, I'm so very glad!!!!

    She'll be in my prayers tomorrow.

    As the veteran of too many surgeries, let me assure you: it's WAY harder on you than on the patient!! Let her know that Santa is watching, and is very impressed with what a big girl she's being.

    Hang in there, and congrats on getting Hailey moved!!
     
  18. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Dec 13, 2011

    I'm very glad to hear that the outcome was good. Your daughter deserved better than what she was getting.
     
  19. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    That is the best outcome you could have hoped for! I'm glad Hailey has you in her corner!
     
  20. tgim

    tgim Habitué

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    Dec 13, 2011

    Love that it went well and had a positive outcome! Hugs for successful day tomorrow!
     
  21. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Dec 14, 2011

    Good luck today!:hugs:
     
  22. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    I'm so glad that things are working out for you both! Good luck today and hopefully things move along very smoothly.
     
  23. readingrules12

    readingrules12 Aficionado

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    Hooray! You got a good outcome. I think it is good she is being moved to another teacher.

    I think it is imperative that if your daughter comes home with any concerns with this next teacher, you must get "the rest of the story" from the teacher. Children this young often can leave out helpful details. Your best equipped when you know as much of the facts as possible.

    Good luck to you.
     

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