My Cooperative Teacher Threw Me Under the Bus!!

:help:

My mentor teacher decided to abruptly end my clinical practice in her classroom after parent-teacher conferences. My mentor teacher is 47, and I am 41. I have previous teaching experience at the community college level but wanted to pursue a language arts license because I thought it would be fun to teach high school English.

Anyway. Things were fine with my mentor teacher (or so I thought) until parent-teacher conferences. At one point, my mentor teacher actually left me alone to conference with parents for 2 hours while she "went home to check on her middle school kids." I was like, "Uh, you're not allowed to leave me here alone according to your mentor teacher handbook. But she did anyway. When she came back, a very angry mother went on a diatribe about how much she hates student teachers because they take away from her teenagers' education, esp. since she's one of the high school's wealthy donors (she threw this fact out several times). Having not been prepped as to how to handle irate parents (having never had to conference with any when I taught community college), I over-reacted, taking the mother's personal attacks on my character...personally. So I told the mother that I was offended by her comments, then I listed off my teaching credentials. (Big mistake, yeah, I know) The next day the principal was seething, and yelled at my mentor teacher when the mother called the principal to yell at her about my defensive comments. The principal made my mentor teacher call the irate mother to apologize, so then the mentor teacher yelled at me for making her do that.

Two days later, I was sitting in the principal's office with my teaching supervisor, mentor teacher, the principal and assistant principal. My mentor teacher - who had given me 3's out of 4's on all of her formal observations of my lesson plans, complimented me daily on my teaching ability, my great rapport with students and how well I was doing with classroom management - threw me under the bus with blatant lies: she said that I didn't make the classroom a safe environment and that I didn't have good rapport with students. Even my teaching supervisor tried to advocate for me (as I was told not to speak), asking my mentor teacher to elaborate, which she could not or would not do.

So now I have to go before a committee for an Action Plan meeting because technically, they have to let me redo my student teaching since I passed all of my coursework, passed all of my field experiences, and technically passed 7 weeks of my student teaching this fall with high scores.

I know the Dept. Chair doesn't like me and I have a meeting scheduled with the Dept. Chair and Academic Dean to discuss or "debrief" them both about my side of the story because I refuse to let someone's lies ruin my chances of completing a $65K masters in teaching program. I'm broke, unemployed, and if I can't redo my student teaching in a fair way, I will STILL be broke, unemployed, and with huge student loan debt. I would have to get a masters to go back to teaching at the community college level (I was laid off for not having a masters degree after hiring standards were changed).

I'm looking for advice as to how I can advocate for myself at this point, knowing that the Dept. Chair has it out for me, that my mentor teacher told blatant lies about my teaching performance in her classroom. I've read all the policies for my program, so I know what my rights are and how to file a formal grievance. But if I file a grievance now, that will only delay my student teaching and maybe get me into more trouble. Like I said in the previous paragraph, I'm in debt, broke, and have no financial support system to fall back on except for miniscule savings, because I'm single with no children.

Any advice? Sorry for the length. I'm really stressed out. If I were in my early 20s it would be easier to just switch careers. But I'm 41 and I don't want to do more graduate school and live in abject poverty for another 3 years.

 

Why do all these people "have it out for" you? Is it possible that you're not taking as much responsibility for your actions as you should?

If "technically, they have to let" you redo your student teaching, then I think you'll be fine. Your plans might be delayed a little bit since it will take a little longer to become certified, but one additional semester isn't going to destroy your teaching career. Hopefully you'll be placed in a setting with someone who doesn't "have it out for" you so that you will be able to use that person as a good, solid reference as you begin your job search.

Good luck to you.

 

Hi Casesar,

Well I think mentor teachers should be held accountable for their actions. After all, she agreed to host me in her classroom. For her to blatantly lie, and not be held responsible for the consequences, is unjust in my opinion.

And of course I took responsibility for my mistakes. After all, the point of student teaching is to make mistakes and to learn from them, with the help of the mentor teacher. But if that mentor teacher doesn't do their job, then I can't do my job either - which is to complete my clinical practice so I can apply for a teaching license and start a teaching career.

While you say that a semester delay isn't the end of the world, maybe for you it's not if you have a spouse to financially support you which I do not. I have no support, period. I am completely on my own here. Now I have to scramble to find 2-3 part time jobs that pay minimum wage so that I can pay my rent and bills and food. Then there's the fact that I won't make enough to save for the 3.5 months I'll be student teaching again in the spring, which is unpaid. Sure I can over-borrow for a student refund but spring refund amounts aren't as large as fall refund amounts.

So I'm going to disagree with you that this delay doesn't have negative consequences on my life. It does and I have to weigh whether or not this is worth finishing. And it's not right that my Dept. Chair made those unprofessional, negative comments to me and that my mentor teacher can get away with telling blatant lies which shows a complete absence of conscience in my opinion.

 

What has your department chair said or done that makes you think that he or she "has it out for" you?

Of course student teachers make mistakes. You made a big one here. It's not the end of the world, but there are consequences. For you, that means that you're likely going to have to do your student teaching elsewhere. Will it be challenging and financially difficult? Yes, but there's not a lot that you can do about that. You made your choices (to flip out on a parent) and these are the consequences. If you're going to let it destroy your education and chances of becoming a teacher, it will. If you're willing to pick yourself up and move on, you can.

I realize that this isn't easy, but you've got to focus on what you can fix. You can't undo what you've done, so you have to deal with your new options. Find a way.

 

Are you a teacher? If so, have you ever hosted a student teacher?

My Dept. Chair said some really hurtful, personal, unprofessional comments to me during my meeting with her that had no connection to my student teaching experience. According to my university's policies, verbal abuse is not tolerated. And her comments definitely fit within the verbal abuse category. So I'm meeting with the academic dean and the dept. chair to address her unprofessional verbal abuse.

I'm not arguing with you as to my mistake with the parent at the parent-teacher conference. By the way, I did not "flip out on a parent" as you put it. That implies that I went ballistic as though I yelled at the parent or stomped my feet or something like that. That's not the way it happened at all.

And to say that I need to pick myself up and move on, is not really helpful to me. One would say "pick yourself up, dust yourself off" to a teenager after their softball team lost the game. It's a bit patronizing to say that to someone my age.

No, my situation isn't easy. It's as far from easy as Chicago is from Hong Kong. The only control I have in my situation is my reaction to everything. I can't control when or if I can find a job(s) to support myself financially. I can't control the level of fairness I'll be treated with by my program committee at my upcoming Action Plan meeting. I can't control the way my Dept. Chair or anyone else treats me. I can't control the new mentor teacher's actions either. But I have my limits. My limits are tied to finances, the way people treat me (boundaries), and the time I continue to invest in a career path that may not be the right fit after all is said and done. I may have to go back to school against my will to get a masters in my subject area, just so I can get a community college teaching job again. I don't like to quit when I'm so close to the finish line. But I have my limits and financial straits are a critical limit. I can't go live with mom and dad or sis or brother or a relative if I lose my apartment because i can't find jobs to support myself. I have to think about these things because all I have to rely on, is myself. Until you walk in my shoes, you have no idea how difficult it is. No idea.

 

Then I guess I can't help you. Sorry for trying.

 

I understand your frustration - unfortunately I can't offer any advice.
I don't think you should be penalized for what happened. Your teacher made a mistake by leaving you alone with parents for 2 hours. During student teaching you are also supposed to learn how to deal with parents, which is not easy. Your teacher should have modeled the interaction for you, and guide you through it, and then maybe even let you do it, with her watching.
You took a parent's personal comments personal. Ok, you were not supposed to, but how many teachers still take students' comment personal and get into arguments with them? Many. Parents are no different, some of them are just big babies in grown up bodies with more sophistication to attack you.
Just because this parent is a hot-shot with money, it doesn't mean you should be punished. Your teacher should have stuck up for you - she probably didn't because she knew she was in the wrong.

If I had to redo my student teaching for something like this, I'd be mad. Student teaching is hard and on top of it you don't make any money, so none of us want to do it for 1 day more than we're supposed to.
I'm hoping someone's from your college will help you through this.

 

Thank you for seeing my POV in this situation, Linguist92021. That helps a lot to have my feelings validated - that it's completely normal to be upset by what has happened to me. For the first two weeks after this happened, I barely slept or ate out of shock. (If I'd had a masters degree, I'd still be employed at the community college where I was an adjunct part-time instructor.)

The mentor teacher violated both her school and my university's policies with regards to her leaving me alone at the parent-teacher conferences while she was at home for 2 hours, when she only lives 2 blocks away. I couldn't believe that she did that to me and wasn't held accountable by her principal or my dept chair. Of course my mentor teacher didn't stick up for me.

She knew she was in trouble the moment she left me alone with all these parents waiting to talk to her. What was I supposed to do? Then when I wanted to talk to the principal about this after it all happened, I was shocked that the principal didn't want to meet with me or my teacher advisor, but just with my mentor teacher instead. That seemed shady to me. You know? Talk about putting me between a rock and a hard place. God only knows what lies my mentor teacher told behind closed doors. I'm sure she didn't say anything about leaving me alone at the parent-teacher conference, where the principal was spotted at various times. I'm surprised she didn't notice my mentor teacher's absence. And in hindsight, I should have brought the principal over the moment this irate parent started her diatribe about student teachers. If I had done that instead of overreact I wouldn't be in this situation.

And, I agree that I should not have had to repeat a whole semester of student teaching for the mistake I made. I'm irritated that all the people in charge took the easy way out - complete avoidance and no accountability on their parts but instead put all the blame on me.

Had I known student teachers are easy scapegoats with no rights, I never would have pursued a teaching license but gone the masters degree route instead (I think i will regret that decision for the rest of my life now). I mean, I have an inch thick book titled "student teacher responsibilities" and "mentor teacher responsibilities" that I read cover to cover (my mentor teacher never cracked open her copy).

I'm esp. mad that I'm going to be put out financially to go through this all over again in the spring. I have to repeat 7 weeks of the 16 so that means I have from now until the start of the spring semester to try to find ways to make a livable income PLUS try to set aside rent money that a spring refund can't cover. If I had completed my student teaching as planned this semester, I'd have just one masters class left to take in the spring, and the ability to find a full time teaching job before the spring semester.

The only person I trust is the academic dean whose job it is to see that my program faculty treat me with academic fairness and don't violate the university's policies (which the dept chair already has with regards to the verbal abuse she gave me during my meeting with her).

My Plan B is to find a full time job (not in education), scrap the completion of my program, and waste $40K and 2 more years getting a masters in my content area so that I could at least teach at the college level where there are no parent-teacher conferences and the politics are more transparent - that is, easier to see coming from a distance - and less of a punitive result.

So what if I invested the past 3 years of my life (unable to work full time due to field experiences, and classes) and thousands of dollars in financial aid? It means nothing to teachers who agree to host student teachers or to graduate faculty who spew verbally abusive, pejorative comments for the sake of trying to intimidate and induce fear. I deserve better treatment. Period.

 

Calm down a bit and envelop yourself in research.

Look at your college's policies regarding repeat experiences. I know my college allows people to repeat preprofessional field three times (includes one extension) and they allow people to repeat student teaching once.

Make sure to be calm and composed when meeting with the department chair even if you think they have it out for you. They will understand that your cooperating teacher violated the contract that they agreed to when they agreed to take you on as a student teacher.

 

Quite frankly, I think you comments to Caesar are about as unprofessional as you claim your mentor teacher was to you. I had a nightmare student teaching experience too, but I take accountability that I was a large part of the problem. I have two elderly grandparents I'm trying to take care of, but you made your choices. Unfortunately, the school will most likely side with the teacher. Complaining about the department chair to the dean isn't going to do you any favors either. It will make you a no hire for that school and possibly for that district. Act your age in this matter and let it go. You are acting like a 17 year old who can't get their way.

Right now your best bet is to meet privately with your supervisor and to discuss the best course of action from here. Listen to what s/he says and learn from it.

 

What hbcaligirl said.

Did you have any warning that a Masters degree was needed to continue teaching? The college I teach for made the same changes. People were given 5 years to finish degrees. As long as someone made progress on the degree, he/she kept their job.

 

Well, there are two sides to everything, but I don't see how what you did was so bad. Everyone puts their foot in hteir mouth sometimes. Then they wouldn't let you speak in a conference? I do not go for that. If I can't speak, I might as well not be there. I would have stepped up and said something during that meeting. "If you seem to think I'm so awful at teaching, then why were you giving me high marks the last 7 weeks? I'm truly confused by your comments. I had no idea that you felt this way" "I know that I made a mistake and I understand that this person donates money to the school. Could I perhaps call her and apologize personally?" Now I think you've lost your advantage. Is there anyone else at the university you can talk to and try to get as an advocate? Worst case, you do it again. I'd be up front with the next MT about what happened and explain how you've grown and what you would do if that happened again.

 

The school seems like a horribly toxic environment the way you've described it. Is there any way you can be placed in a different school?

 

It is probably for the best that your student teaching at this school was ended. The situation doesn't sound tenable after that breach during conferences. However, I would rely more on your advisor to steer your next step and continue advocating for your than the department chair. This is salvageable.

 

How do you know that the Dept. Chair doesn't like you?

When you have the meeting with the Dept. Chair & Academic Dean stay calm & make sure you have your evaluations that rated you high with you.

You've learned a valuable lesson, no matter how much parents upset us, as a teacher you must remain professional. I know tough to do at times.

Remaining professional at all times, whether dealing with parents, students or administration is a must.

Honestly, you don't sound like you are being professional. Take a deep breath & regain your professionalism.

It sounds like you have some tough decisions to make. . .whether or not you can financially continue to student teach.

 

Sounds more like an uncooperative teacher to me!

 

Yeah, I'm not really seeing your big, horrible mistake. Your cooperating teacher made a huge mistake, though, by leaving you alone for parent conferences.

 

Well no, the part-time adjunct instructors like myself were told one month before our lay-off date. Not very convenient when you suddenly had to find a grad program to get enrolled in, so that you could save your job. In retrospect it wasn't a very good place to work as they had a high turnover of their teaching staff. If I do go back to get my masters in English, I won't re-apply at that community college as that would be a waste of time.

 

I agree with you that what I did was a mistake, but not one to warrant having to start my student teaching experience all over again - especially since my mentor teacher violated her school and my school's policies with regards to mentoring student teachers, when she left me alone at the parent-teacher conference.

I even tried to salvage the conversation with the irate parent, by apologizing for taking her comments personally and tried to assure her that I would bring value to her teenager's class while I was at the school.

Clearly my apology to the parent at the conference had no effect, as she called the school principal the next morning. But at least I apologized to her which the principal, my mentor teacher and department chair seem to have overlooked (or dismissed).

And at the meeting afterward with the mentor teacher, school principal, vice principal and my advisor I did acknowledge to everyone that what my mentor teacher said wasn't accurate. Although my advisor told me not to speak at the meeting, I felt like my rights again were violated so I did speak up at the meeting's end. That didn't go over well with my advisor who admonished me outside in the parking lot, after the meeting. But again, I'm 41, not some naive 20-something. I'm going to defend my character when my investment (graduate school to become a teacher) is at stake.

This experience has shown me that education is all about politics. No one regards the rules or policies set in place, especially people at the higher level like administration and faculty. Principals lie, supervisors like, even teachers lie. They are worse than criminals in that sense, the way they lie and manipulate to protect themselves.

The way I'll make sure that the next mentor teacher and principal follow the rules for my university's clinical practice is to request that they meet with me and my advisor. I'll have to be blunt about my expectations to make sure that the mentor teacher knows that he/she has responsibilities as a mentor to me, otherwise then don't take on a student teacher if you're not willing to put in the time and effort to actually mentor that student teacher.

 

It's a wealthy private high school so yeah, it's toxic in many ways - mostly that the wealthy parents who are donors control the purse strings, and therefore control the actions of the school administration.

I'm not at that school anymore as I said in my original post. I'm relieved on one hand, but irritated that I have to start over again and the financial strain I'll have to endure yet again. I don't even know if my spring tuition will cover the cost of my student teaching. I will have to call my financial aid counselor this week to find out. If it doesn't, I guess that ends my time in my grad school program, doesn't it.

 

Don't give up now, you've come all this way. I would suggest to find a way to finish your student teaching, and then you're done with it.

 

I know she doesn't like me based on the way she verbally abused me at my meeting with her, the purpose of which was for me to debrief her on my perspective of how my student teaching experience went.

As far as your remark that I don't seem like I'm being professional, you couldn't be more wrong.

Even when I was defensive with the irate parent I didn't raise my voice at all, but was more direct. I even apologized to the parent and tried to assure her that I would work hard to add value to her teenager's class before she left the conference, so that shows I was being professional. I tried to immediately remedy my actions. If I hadn't tried to apologize, then I would agree with you that I lacked professionalism. But I'll have to disagree with you because I tried to fix it.

Have you been perfect throughout your entire teaching career? Never made a mistake in how you communicate with parents or administration? If so I would find that hard to believe because everyone makes mistakes. Before you throw stones, think about that.

 

To be perfectly honest, I'm beginning to think perhaps this parent complaint was the last straw...

 

Yep. She really was. She was more concerned with her students liking her (she said this out loud to me daily) and complained about how much paperwork my program required for her to fill out. After three of the seven weeks in her classroom she basically stopped giving me feedback after my lesson plans. Plus she would often interrupt me DURING my lesson plans, in front of the students, which would confuse them. She clearly had a problem letting go of control of her classroom.

I did comment cards with the students every time I taught a lesson, whether or not the lesson was formally observed by my mentor teacher or advisor. One of the questions I asked for feedback was, "how clear is my instruction?" Students used that opportunity to complain about their teacher interrupting me all the time which confused them as to who they should listen to. I brought this up with my mentor teacher, even showing her the comment cards from students (which were anonymous so that the students could feel safe to write their honest feelings). I even showed these comment cards to my advisor. My mentor teacher ignored the students feedback, and even ignored my advisor who told her at one of my formal observations, to stop interrupting me during my lesson plans in class. But my mentor teacher refused to stop doing that. She wouldn't even leave the room.

So in hindsight, even if I had not been defensive with that one parent, ONE parent, I'm not sure how well this would have ended for me anyway.

 

JustMe, I'm wondering too.

Teacher 41, you sound a bit defensive, which is coming across as being unprofessional. Just because you didn't raise your voice to this parent doesn't mean that you were unprofessional. It could have been what you said as much as how you said it. I wasn't there so I can't say. It's what you are saying in your posts that makes me wonder.

I've made plenty of mistakes, both as a student teacher & as a teacher. We need to learn from our mistakes.

 

She made lots of mistakes during my seven weeks in her classroom:

She was often late, so that I had to have a back-up mini-lesson prepared to start class with.

She interrupted me EVERY TIME I led a lesson plan and never left the room.

She also complained about how much she hated teaching, and said that she missed her previous job where she made 4x as much money.

Whenever I used technology to support my lesson plans (like a PowerPoint slide presentation, or a video from Teacher Tube or You Tube) she would say, "I hate technology. I think it's useless to you guys [the students]."

Whenever I used graphic organizers like a K-W-L, or Four Square, or anything like that, my mentor teacher would criticize me too, "You guys will never get handouts from me. I don't like to use them. I think they're pointless."

She also never graded papers on-time. Like, if I assigned a short essay (3 paragraphs) on a Monday, I graded it and returned it to students by Friday the end of the week. Whereas my mentor teacher would wait two weeks before she'd grade an assignment. And then she would complain about all the papers she had to grade.

She also never used "Ms" and just called me by my last name in her class, which I thought was really unprofessional and tacky. Some of her students started doing that and when I would correct them, asking them to call me "Ms ____" they would say, "Well, Mrs ____ doesn't, so why should we?" These were high school sophomores and juniors, by the way who are at a wealthy private high school.

So she wasn't that great of a mentor. She really didn't mentor me frankly.

What exactly do teachers think mentoring a student teacher is, if they aren't going to put in the time to provide feedback and guidance for the student teacher?

 

I know. I just want to be done with it. I'm hoping that I can find enough part-time jobs or one full-time job now that will allow me to save up 3 months of rent, so that I can support myself during my spring student teaching if I go through with it.

Otherwise, it's back to the corporate world to work a job I don't like, just so I can support myself.

 

So if you've made plenty of mistakes as a student and a teacher, then how is it, that you can't see this from my POV at all? My mentor teacher didn't follow her school policy or my school policies, she didn't give me feedback, and she then told blatant lies about me. Now if you're student teaching, and going along thinking you're doing a good job with no criticism from your advisor, mentor teacher or principal, and then all of the sudden you make one mistake and are let go from your clinical practice (even after you apologize for your mistake), then you would be left confused and a little irritated like I feel.

For you and a few other posters here to tell me that I'm not allowed to feel that way is frankly, being judgmental. So you can I can agree to disagree. It's easy to read posts and see only one POV and to throw stones at the person. You don't need to remind me that I need to be professional at all times. My program requires its student teachers to attend seminars where they drill professionalism as an expected behavior, repeatedly. I was professional. I made ONE mistake and apologized for it immediately. I can't control how other people react.

Just like student teachers do, mentor teachers have responsibilities required of them. If you're going to mentor a student teacher then you have to be responsible for your own actions too. This mentor teacher made a lot of mistakes herself.

 

What exactly are you wanting the users here to say? How are you wanting people to respond to your post?

 

I'm sorry your experience was so unpleasant.

There was a theme in your posts and stated actions that was resounding and amplified.

You are quick to come to confrontation, take offense, and seek remedies through higher-ups.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes that's all right to go through admins and what not, but you seem to do it a lot.

I think your most fatal mistake, and someone correct me if I'm wrong, was going over your cooperating teacher's head and having your supervisor confront her about interrupting you.

I have not student taught yet. However, I would NEVER do that. The only time I would ever bring up anything slightly negative about my cooperating teacher TO ANYBODY is if she was literally harming kids or it was a mandatory reporting situation. This ball started rolling the second you did that. She no longer thought of you as a colleague and confidant, and to be honest, I wouldn't have either from that point forward.

I think you really need to sit back for a moment and think things over. Realize that you may take general conversation as abusive, when that's not the intent. Control your aura of supremacy (read back what you wrote about your CT, and tell me it doesn't smell of "I'm better than blank).

Something to think about: Perhaps your cooperating teacher thought you threw her under the bus the second your supervisor called her up and told her what to do and not to do; you reap what you sow.

 

First, I don't take general conversation as abusive. However, I do take attacking comments as a form of verbal abuse. The "theme" of my posts is to seek support for what I deem an unfair situation. My original post asked posters to provide me with feedback as to how I could advocate for myself at this stage and to help me problem solve.

Second, I went to my mentor teacher FIRST with my concerns. I always did. When I showed her the student comment cards, I did so to open up a dialogue about how her interruptions confuse the students, etc. She chose to ignore it so I went to my supervisor as I'm required to do.

I don't know what your education program policies are but student teachers in my program are required to go to our supervisors with any level of concern that we have.

Until you student teach, you have no idea what the dynamic is like between a mentor teacher and student teacher for that extended period of time...which is more intensive than a short field experience. And I'm not going to defend my right to make sure that my mentor teacher follows my school's policies by going to my supervisor when I feel like that person's intervention is necessary. You will find that your mentor teacher may not support you, may have a different personality than you, and may do things to undermine your efforts to be a good teacher. Or you may have a great mentor teacher who makes your clinical experience a wonderful memory. You just won't know until you're in the classroom with that one person day after day for 50+ hours a week. How you choose to deal with those challenges is different than me.

Finally, I disagree with your opinion that my posts come across as I'm better than my mentor teacher. In my post, I complained about the way she criticized my use of technology and handouts. That's completely different.

And I disagree with your opinion about my communication style as that's not accurate either. There are two sides to every story, and whose side you choose is obviously up to you.

If you go back and reread your post, you'll see that you make a lot of assumptions about me that aren't true. Also, what you would do or are required to do by your program, is completely different than me. That doesn't mean you're right or I'm wrong, or vice versa. It just means we take different approaches because we are two different people.

 

Teacher41, I'm afraid I'm going to have to echo and lightly reframe Caesar's question above: What is it that you want to hear from the members of A to Z? Do you want advice on which to go forward, or do you want only commiseration?

 

"If you have nothing supportive or positive to say, then as the policy here (written by Amanda, one of the moderators) says, not say anything at all."

Really?

The proof is in the pudding.

I will now step out.

 

By the way, Teacher41, I happen to be a moderator. I certainly don't find any of pete2770's posts out of line, I can't imagine any other moderator finding them so, and I think you're not helping your cause in the slightest by calling him out on them.

 

I think what some readers are seeing is that suggestions to take a calm and practical approach to resolve the situation are debunked by you with additional details of more ways you've been wronged. Or, you make a giant issue about why their opinion doesn't count because they haven't been in your shoes.

It's a crummy situation. But, it happened. Take time to be angry and feel bad. But, at some point, you have to roll up the sleeves and solve the problem. It seems like you're not ready for that just yet. You're too ready to pounce on anyone that is critical.

 

Hi,
I have been following this thread for while and have made an observation that I don't think has been mentioned.

You are 41, and you a are a student teacher. This has been pointed out over and over again. You do seem to think that your age automatically means that you should be given more opportunities and respect than students in their 20s.

I am in my second year of teaching and I am 32. I had a horrific student teaching placement the first time out, but I chose to go back to that school because I loved the kids. We have two student placements in a grad.dip.ed program in Australia.

I was 30 when I did student teaching. 10 years younger, but I have a special needs child myself, and I needed urgently to secure a stable life and income in order to support her. It took me 11 years! I was 19 when I I had her...lots of time to make up for. Everyone in my graduating class was early 20s. I did not, for one moment, assume that I was going to be treated any differently to them. I was not better because of prior teaching experience (I taught adults, not children), and I didn't expect more respect because of my age.

I was a student teacher. I was there to learn and my age meant nothing. You need to learn to ignore your age, as hard as that is. You know how hard you've had it in life, you know the unfairness and you've obviously worked very hard to make sure you get somewhere....and you are bitterly disappointment that these roadblocks keep coming up because you're afraid you won't have enough time to set yourself up for life the way other, younger, teachers do. This is all understandable, and believe me I get it. I think exactly the same things. But I don't think that my age entitles me to more of anything than those other teachers. If I thought that, I would be bitter and angry all the time when they get employed and I don't. When something great happens to them, and not to me.

Out in the workforce, people will expect more of YOU, because of your age. They will expect a higher level of professionalism...especially with a previous job in teaching, at any level. They may overlook the fact that you are only in your first year of teaching at a high school level, and therefor expect your lessons to be tighter, your classroom management to be at a higher level, and your understanding of procedures to be much better (although to be honest, this is one area where I think you will really excel...have you considered being a lawyer? Seriously, that was NOT an offensive comment...but you love policy and reading through documents...so...have you? I know you can't do it, but was it ever something you considered?).

The thing is, in real life, your age doesn't entitle you to anything more...but it does mean people expect more of you...without you doing anything to make them feel that way. It's really difficult to make some people realise that.

As for what some others have said about you being defensive. I do think you are, and I think you feel completely justified in being that way right now because you perceive attacks from all directions. And that's ok, especially if its true.

I do want to say though, that social interactions are difficult. Especially in schools where you have to navigate not only a professional hierarchy, but a social one too. The two may overlap, but often they don't.

Here is what I do, and this is based on way too many social misinterpretations (I have Asperger's). I receive the 'attack'. Feel sick and angry and bitter. Then I usually sleep on it. I tend to shut down when under attack these days, because it is the safest option. Most of the time, a colleague has realized how I interpreted their comment from the look on my face and apologized or clarified. If still an issue the next day, I raise the issue in a calm manner, having pre-prepared what I would like to say. This has been working for the two years I have been employed in my absolute dream job.

Having said all of that, I agree that this school has a toxic environment. A mentor who hates teaching? I would have asked to be swapped out the first week...how was she ever going to be anything but a burden to you? You should start out loving teaching...merely because some days it'll be the only thing that gets you through. This may be a blessing in disguise for you ( I know it doesn't seem that way now). Finding a mentor who cares about teaching and about students, will make you a better teacher because they'll be invested in preparing you for greatness in your career. If not for you, then for the profession and the students themselves.

You sound so determined...I just hope you can let some of the passion for teaching come through too. That will get you much further than sheer willpower.

I do wish you well, and I hope you don't take offense to anything I have said.

 

What I came to this forum for, was to get feedback on how to proceed forward with my very unfair situation. I'm not pouncing on anyone. However, if a poster criticizes me I have a right to disagree with them. That's different. So far, no one has actually offered me advice, just opinions on how what I did was wrong and unprofessional. Offer me constructive advice in a supportive way, and I'll listen. But criticize me with negative, inappropriate comments like "act your age," well then why would I listen to that?

This just happened to me, two weeks ago. To expect me to bounce back and have emotionally processed it by now is unrealistic. I'm in the process of trying to find work so that I can support myself, and figure out if I can even afford to student teach in the spring.

Only two posters in this thread were respectful to me, and offered me kind words of support whereas the majority have criticized me instead. I didn't come here to be criticized.

I read this forum's policies on respectful communication. There's a fine line between criticizing and offering advice. Why feel the need to criticize me, especially when that doesn't really help me with my situation.

 

Good luck with your current job search! Keep actively pursuing job opportunities.

Be in a calm and professional place when you meet with your university to discuss the spring semester.

That is my feedback on how to proceed with your situation.

 

My advice as well.