Must see for anyone (which is all of us) who have been bullied!

Discussion in 'General Education' started by kinderkids, Oct 2, 2012.

  1. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    Oct 2, 2012

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  3. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Oct 3, 2012

    I saw an article about this topic this morning. Good for her; bullying is not a "kids will be kids" thing. It cuts deeply and lasts a lifetime.
     
  4. vtachy1

    vtachy1 Rookie

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    Oh man, that lady does not have "thick skin", like she claims she does!!!! I am a medical professional and I write it on charts all the time for Pete's sake!!! She is wayyyyyyy too sensitive. I am overweight too, and I would never be like her. She is a jerk!!!!!! Unreal people!!!! unreal!! I cannot believe what I just saw, I am amazed, stunned and cannot believe she feels that way.

    Can she not take a constructive critique? There was nothing and I mean nothing in that email that was bullying! He was stating an opinion about her appearance and what he thinks she should try to change and be more healthy!
     
  5. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    I can't decide if I'm more :dizzy: or just plain :(
     
  6. Resentful

    Resentful Rookie

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    It wasn't an opinion. It was a fact. I don't see what so wrong with the email. She is obese. There's no way she's 100% healthy. He didn't call her a fat pig or anything that I would consider derogatory. She even said doctors have called her obese. Seems like she got upset by it and trying to pawn it off as "let's save the children". I'd respect her more if she told the truth instead of pretending it was a moral crucide. If it was, she would have thought of the children first.

    I think she's the one doing a disservice. This is why people don't take bullying seriously. People like her are watering the word down. Thankfully, he only sent her one email, because you know if she sent two or three she'd claim harassment.
     
  7. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    This woman knows that she's overweight. It's no secret to her so she doesn't need a guy in an email to tell her that she's overweight and obese. That is where the bullying comes in.
     
  8. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    vTACHY. Really? She's a jerk? Mind blown. As a medical professional (nursing para, right?), don't you feel your fatness is confusing to patients?
     
  9. bondo

    bondo Cohort

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    Sad that someone would take the time to write that. People need to keep their comments to themselves. That news anchor was very well-spoken, she did an excellent job.
     
  10. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    She could have just ignored it & went on about her business, but she chose to do this on nationwide TV. It definitely shows that she's not going to be intimidated by anyone's comments, which is good of course. Others may say, why is she reading this stranger's email & giving him the limelight?

    But the thing is, there are a lot of people in the public eye/celebs, etc. who are heavy, so why all the hoopla about this newscaster? I don't see the point that the stranger is making when there's oher heavy people in the public eye too. Those other celebs are role models to young people too.
     
  11. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    The point is, the email mentioned her not considering herself being "a suitable example to this community's young people, girls in particular.Obesity is one of the worst choices a person can make"... so obviously the weight is what is an example and NOT what the woman does. SAD....but obvious in our society.
     
  12. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Yes, well then she's not the only one who should lose weight. A lot of other people need to too. IF this stranger is going to write a message to her, he better do it to a whole lot of others.
     
  13. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Or he can reflect on his own life and make improvements there...
     
  14. BradleyStacks

    BradleyStacks Rookie

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    When I was young I was also severely bullied by my classmates and that has affected my confidence and the way I deal with others. I'm glad though that there are now anti-bullying campaigns which are protecting bullied kids and even adults. Bullying is a serious matter!
     
  15. PinkCupcake

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    While it's great this woman was able to stand up for herself, my opinion is this wasn't bullying. Isn't bullying defined as repeated aggressive behavior? I'm in no way saying this email is justified. The words were harsh and the person probably should take a look at their own life before bashing someone else. It seems that bullying is the new buzzword that's being thrown around so many times the true meaning has been forgotten.
     
  16. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    Words don't have to be hateful to qualify as bullying. Many bullies (especially girls, it seems) are very good at saying things in a "nice way", even though the actual message is the exact opposite. MTV ran a series last year entitled "If You Really Knew Me". It was an anti-bullying campaign that visited several schools. In one episode, a "popular girl" kept making comments about the clothes of another girl that were very similar to the tone. To the email Jennifer received. The girl never said "Your clothes are horrible", but she did have some type of critical comment to make about the girl's clothes almost every day. When the people running the campaign confronted her about the comments, the girl feigned surprise and innocently proclaimed "I'm just trying to help her make better outfit choices". By phrasing her comments the way she did (and the way the man sending the email did), it allowed the girl to pretend she wasn't trying to be mean - even though it's obvious that was her intent.

    Just because a bully isn't being rude, hateful or belligerent doesn't make their comments or actions are more acceptable than the others.
     
  17. PinkCupcake

    PinkCupcake Cohort

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    Cerek, I completely agree that viewer's email wasn't acceptable period. I just think sometimes the word bullying is taken and people run with it.
     
  18. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    I agree. We had a student last year claim to be the victim of "bullying" and a "hate crime" because someone made an off color joke in front of him, without knowing he was a member of the particular ethnic group being mentioned in the joke, and was in no way, shape, or form directing the joke at him or intending to hurt him by saying it. It was a stupid thing to say, but it was not a "hate crime" or "bullying."
     
  19. Shanoo

    Shanoo Habitué

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    I agree that I don't think it was bullying. Inappropriate? Yes. Hurtful? Probably. Bullying? I just don't see it.

    I think she did the right thing by calling him out on his email, but she went about it the wrong way. Talking about ending discrimination and stereotyping against those who are overweight, for example, would have hit home a lot harder then taking the bullying route, because I just don't think she was.

    There are thousands of kids who really are bullied every day. Bullying does need to stop. But, to claim "I've been bullied" every time someone says something you don't like does nothing but water the word, and the experiences of those who ARE truly bullied, down.
     
  20. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    If he treats multiple people this way, AND I BET HE DOES, does that qualify him as bully? Or just a certified beeeeeep?
     
  21. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    Ok, I can agree with that. If this is the only email she received from this person or the only email she received about her weight, I can concede a single incident wouldn't necessarily equate to "bullying". In the example I mentioned above, the popular girl used much the same tone and phrasing, but she did it on an almost daily basis, so it was not a one-time thing. That DOES qualify as bullying because it was a repeating pattern of behavior.

    You and the other posters do make a good point, though, that the label of "bullying" is often used much too often, which only decreases the real impact of the word.
     
  22. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    I completely agree. I used the word bully in the title because that is how it was posted on the site I found it on. I should have rethought how I labeled my post.

    I do want to go back to the point though that she was "judged" on her weight as being a role model "especially to girls", rather than the work she does. I have no idea how she does her job, but truly to label someone as a poor role model BECAUSE of their PHYSICAL condition doesn't sit right with me.

    I know overweight men and women who are fantastic at what they do ; I also know many BMI Healthy men and women who unfortunately stink at what they do. I also know many overweight men and women who stink at what they do, and many BMI Healthy men and women who are fantastic at what they do.

    As I said in an earlier post, what someone looks like and what they do for the community should NOT be one in the same. I feel like this person made her looks the role model and not her contribution.
     
  23. FarFromHome

    FarFromHome Connoisseur

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    I agree. We just had a training on bullying at school, and they stressed that it had to be something that was repeatedly done. Something that just happens once isn't bullying.

    But I also agree that he shouldn't have sent that email.
     
  24. PinkCupcake

    PinkCupcake Cohort

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    I 100% agree with you about the popular girl you mention. In my district, even at the mention of the word bullying we have to fill out paperwork and start an investigation. It's such a pain that we all joke bully is a dirty word. I had a parent at the beginning of the year send me a long email about her son being bullied by another child during recess. According to her son, he had private dining because the other child blamed it on him. Since she used that "dirty" word I had to start paperwork and the assistant principal started an investigation. The truth behind all this trouble? The child told mom an elaborate story about why he had private dining instead of the truth which was he wasn't following teacher directions. :dizzy:
     
  25. readingrules12

    readingrules12 Aficionado

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    My favorite video on bullying is on You Tube. You could show this to 5th grade and up, but not the last minute. It is 10 minutes and I suggest watching it first. It is by Jodee Blanco who was bullied constantly form grades 5-12. Type in "Jodee Blanco Please Stop Laughing at Me". It is the video that is slightly over 10 minutes.

    I also highly recommend the book Please Stop Laughing at Me by Jodee Blanco.
     
  26. Geauxtee

    Geauxtee Comrade

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    The news anchor's husband said that she has a thyroid condition that makes it really hard to lose weight. He said she runs regularly and just completed a 5K race.

    I think it's jerk move to take the time and write a letter to tell someone to lose weight. He could volunteer with youth organization if he is committed on helping kids be healthy instead of writing a nasty email.
     
  27. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    I have an issue with the title of this thread. I've never been bullied. Why make that assumption?
     
  28. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    You have an issue with the title? It's only a title. I never assume. Thanks for your point of view. Although I think I understand what you are saying (although not what having an issue means), I just believe that many of us have had a point in our life when we have been bullied or made to feel less than. You are truly blessed that you have never been made to feel like that.
     
  29. 2ndTimeAround

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    I don't think I'm unusual in that fact. I've been picked on, but not bullied. There is a difference but I think the difference is getting lost too often. Bullying sound so much worse and our society loves to play victim.

    FTR, a quick poll in my household and none of us have been bullied. All of us were picked on at some time or another.
     
  30. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Just out of curiosity, NCScienceTeach, how do you define the difference between "bullying" and "picking on"?
     
  31. 2ndTimeAround

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    I think bullying requires elements of consistency and intimidation. Bullies use an advantage over a victim - being in a position of authority or size.

    Picking on - Girls whispering as another walks by and one shouts out "love the skirt! NOT!" and the other girls giggle. Done deal.

    Bullying - Loner girl with no/few friends walking down the hallway and every day/week a popular group of girls collectively degrade what the girl is wearing. When/if the loner girl looks back and glares, stands up for herself or such, the popular girls with their social power bring more kids in on the abuse.
     
  32. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    So your point is picking on is acceptable, and bullying is not?

    Rather I would think being "picked on" may be a precursor to more malicious and repeated bullying.

    Secondly taken from the perspective of the news anchor, she understands that she is overweight. She has been told this many times. So while this one person may not be consistent and repetitive in his evaluation of her, she has heard it repeated many times, so in her mind, this is simply one more abuse in a long line of abuses. It doesn't matter if its from multiple people or from one person. She still feels victimized.

    I just don't see how it all depends on if the perpetrator is acting like a stereotypical villain as that group of girls does in your scenario. Bullying is bullying.
     
  33. 2ndTimeAround

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    don't be silly. Of course being picked on isn't okay. But it doesn't make it bullying. Both are wrong. One is worse. Getting punched in the face is assault. But it isn't attempted murder.
     
  34. John Lee

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    Bullying is a kids will be kids thing. IMO, it's actually quite human for a kid to pick at the "weakness" of another kid. In many cases, it's not being mean... at it's core, it's seeing something different than you typically see, and "picking at it". I'm not trying to justify this person or anything--just want to point out that it is quite "natural".

    These days in my area, it's VERY diverse. Whites, Blacks, Asians, Hispanic... Back when I was growing up, it was mainly White. As a result, I experienced way more racism than I see from kids today. WAY more. Were those kids (who called me racist names) racist? Maybe. But more likely, they were white kids who saw a non-white and decided to pick at it.

    For me personally, I was not a bully by any means. I had a good, comfortable life. But to some people, I might be considered a bully. There was a kid who I knew, normal, nice kid that I was friends with... who had a scar on his face as a result of an accident. I used to call him scarface. One day, he came to school and we were talking and he mentioned how he was in court, and (during the deposition for his accident) MY name was mentioned. It was because he was citing the distress (for damages I guess) that he was experiencing from kids at school. At that moment, I realized that what I was doing was not cool of course. But I wasn't doing it to be mean to my friend (we were in elementary school at the time). It was just me, seeing something different, and "picking at it".

    It's something that kids naturally do. I think that (while it may evolve into more mean-spiritedness) , the essence of it is ignorance (which is NATURAL).
     
  35. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I guess I didn't explain myself well. What I meant to say was that we cannot dismiss bullying (or picking on") by saying that it is normal and natural behaviour. There is no reason why it is ever okay.
     
  36. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    Both are unacceptable, and cannot be tolerated.

    And your definition of bullying seems based on a very specific scenario. I don't agree with your definition of what bullying is, and believe "picking" on someone is a form a bullying.
     
  37. 2ndTimeAround

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    ok. I don't agree with you, you don't agree with me. Big whoop. lol
     
  38. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    Yes. Big whoop.
     
  39. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    :crosseyed:wow: your post comes off as incredibly unempathetic. There's a difference between a 'medical professional' counseling a patient on weight issues and this situation.
     
  40. Linguist92021

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    Although this is not considered bullying, it is hurtful, rude and the points are not even valid.
    - Obesity is not a choice - people don't just say "hey, I think I want to get fat".
    - not being an example for the community? That's BS. She obviously takes care of herself. What about women who die their hair? Is that a bad example for the community because they're not happy with what they got? This way just about anyone can be used as a bad example, and it doesn't make sense.

    I'm glad she spoke up. she did it partly fr herself to let this person know how ignorant he/she is, and that she's not affected by it. But I think she mostly did for young girls and boy, who are receiving comments like these regularly. She's strong, she's not gonna let some idiot shake her self confidence, but you send an email like that to a teen, and that can have severe consequences in their self-image, confidence, etc.
     

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