Mrs. or Ms.

Discussion in 'General Education' started by DreamToTeach, Jul 31, 2011.

  1. DreamToTeach

    DreamToTeach Companion

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    Jul 31, 2011

    Yay! I will be starting my first teaching position in a couple weeks! I am so excited!

    As I'm getting things organized and planned, I have developed a nagging uncertainty about my name.

    I am 46 years old and just divorced a year ago. I kept my married name and have been assuming I'd be Mrs. Married-Name. It's starting to rub me wrong. I wish I would have taken my maiden name back. So, I'm seriously considering it. But, my question is, as a 46-year-old single (because of divorce) woman would I be Mrs. Married-Name, Ms. Married-Name, Ms. Maiden-Name, or Mrs. Maiden-Name?

    I can't seem to find where I automatically feel comfortable and need your help. :blush:
     
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  3. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

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    Jul 31, 2011

    Many, many years after my aunt divorced and her kids were grown, she went back to her maiden name and goes by Ms. V. She's 58.
     
  4. LetsDoSomeMath

    LetsDoSomeMath Rookie

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    Jul 31, 2011

    I think the last name part is what you feel most comfortable with. As for Ms. or Mrs... I'm married-- and everything says Mrs. XXXX. I introduced myself as Mrs. XXXXX. Although, I've really noticed the last 2 years my students all call me Ms. XXXXX.

    So when it comes to the Mrs. or Ms. parts-- I think most students just say Ms.
     
  5. yarnwoman

    yarnwoman Cohort

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    Jul 31, 2011

    I am 46 also. I divorced about 4 yrs ago and kept the married name since the kids have that name. I go by Ms. married name. It is a name. yes the divorce was not for good reasons but my children came from it and it is my name. I think you need to be called what you want and what makes you feel comfortable.
     
  6. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    Jul 31, 2011

    If your married name is your legal name, I'd use Ms. MarriedName.

    When I was widowed, I continued to use Mrs. since I hadn't been divorced.
     
  7. HWilson

    HWilson Comrade

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    Jul 31, 2011

    I had a friend of mine go through this and at the beginning of this year, she requested her name on her door be Ms. Maiden Name. That's what she goes by. No big deal. You can be called what you want. People go by different names all the time. I would go that route if I were you. If I were divorced, I can tell you I would HATE being called my married name. I would go back to my maiden name also! :)
     
  8. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Jul 31, 2011

    Especially since I don't have children, I really feel that if I divorced I would drop his last name (mine is First Middle Maiden Married) and go by Ms. Maiden. But that's just me. Best wishes this year! :)
     
  9. Tasha

    Tasha Phenom

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    Jul 31, 2011

    Well, I think it is a personal choice, but if you have kids with the married last name, I would go by Ms. MarriedLastName, if there aren't any kids (or they are older), I would go by Ms. MaidenName. If you decide to go back to your old name, talk to your principal now and have any unofficial names changed (for your door, for your roster, etc...) and then change the official stuff after you get the paperwork done.
     
  10. DreamToTeach

    DreamToTeach Companion

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    Jul 31, 2011

    Thanks, everyone! That helps so much. I thought there might be some unwritten rule or etiquette rule I didn't know about.

    Funny thing about my kids is that I kept my married name for them, and they were the ones that suggested I change it. My 20-year-old daughter actually said it was kind of creepy to keep my married name. Lol! You never know what your kids are thinking.

    Still not sure what I'm going to do. I better decide in the next day or so, but now I know that I truly have options. Thanks again!!
     
  11. skittleroo

    skittleroo Connoisseur

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    Jul 31, 2011

    In Texas - you MUST use your legal last name. I remember having to show proof I got married to change mine within the school.

    Now as for Mrs. or Ms., personally I would choose Ms. since you are no longer married.
     
  12. HWilson

    HWilson Comrade

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    Jul 31, 2011

    My legal name is also first middle maiden married on all official stuff .... I get comments all the time about how long my name is. But I go by first maiden married

    Its good to know I'm not the only one who kept all names and added the new last name ... :)
     

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