Mother's day is my least favorite day of the year

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by pumpkincup, May 8, 2011.

  1. pumpkincup

    pumpkincup Rookie

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    May 8, 2011

    Yes, I love my mother dearly. I talk to who daily and we have a wonderful relationship.

    Today is so difficult for me because I live so far away from her and it makes me miss her even more than I already do.
    I am 36, married and will not be able to have children of my own. I want them, but I can't have them. Adoption is not an option for us for a variety of reasons.
    I sit here today in so much pain, mourning the loss of my grandmothers, missing my mother, and feeling such a loss that I will not have children of my own.
    I guess people at different places that don't really know me assume that I have children because I'm 36 so I get wished happy mother's day quite a bit...at the grocery store, by random parents at work...it just hurts when they say it because it is a constant reminder that I don't have children.

    I generally try to keep myself busy with other things around the house, but every once in a while it just hits me.

    I'm not looking for advice, only a few more hours until the day is over. I just wanted to vent.
    Thanks I feel better now...back to opening the pool!
     
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  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    May 8, 2011

    Sorry, pumpkin.

    Hope you have a great chat with your mom today. Your grandmothers are looking over you. The children you teach look upon you in many ways...sometimes that's as a 'school mom'. :love:
     
  4. MissScrimmage

    MissScrimmage Aficionado

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    May 8, 2011

    This morning at church roses were handed out to all the mothers. I am single, no where near having children, and was a little sad that I wouldn't be receiving one. As I was exiting, someone said, "Oh, MissScrimmage is a teacher. Make sure she gets a rose. She has lots of children." I smiled and said, "Yes! I have 21!" And I was given a rose.

    We play the mom role to many children, and that is important to celebrate, too!
     
  5. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    May 8, 2011

    Sorry pumpkincup. I'm your age as well & sometimes I wonder if I'll ever have kids (as far as I know, I'm able to.) I hope you get to have a nice phone conversation w/ her today. Have you thought about getting a webcam attached to your computer & maybe have her get one or send one to her too, so you can "see" each other all the time?
     
  6. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    May 8, 2011

    I am so sorry! The day will be over soon enough... Hugs to you...
     
  7. sevenplus

    sevenplus Connoisseur

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    May 8, 2011

    I'm very sorry. Mother's Day is a very painful day for a lot of people. Makes me want to go slap someone at Hallmark sometimes.
     
  8. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    May 8, 2011

    I'm sorry you're having a rough day.

    I also live far away from my mom and I miss her a lot, all the time not just today. This mothers day (mother's day? mothers' day?) has been a little rough on me because this time last year I was pregnant and we were celebrating the holiday. I had a miscarriage shortly afterwards. At the time of the miscarriage, it was difficult but not devastating, mostly because the pregnancy was still sort of unreal-feeling to me. Besides that, the ER doctor told me that the pregnancy was probably a molar pregnancy and thus never viable. I found out when I went to my regular doctor for a follow-up that it was a normal pregnancy that just didn't work out. Once I found that out, I started feeling more and more sad.

    Now, almost a year later, I'm not sure if we're able to have kids. We haven't been trying, but we haven't been trying to avoid, either, so the fact that we've gone this long without contraception and I'm not pregnant is making me think that there might be some problems there. I can live with that if I have to, but it's not really anything that makes me feel really great.

    Oh, and my aunt left me a Happy MD message on my mom's Facebook page. Like, she specifically named my mom, my sister (who has a kid), and me, but not my other sister who has no children. So that makes me think that she thinks that I have a kid. Ah, well.
     
  9. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    May 8, 2011

    :hugs: pumpkin. This holiday is difficult for me as well because I lost my mom 5 years ago and I lost a child not long after mother's day 3 years ago. I do have a child, but it is still hard.

    I hope you have/had a good conversation with your mom.
     
  10. Mrs. K.

    Mrs. K. Enthusiast

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    May 8, 2011

    It's been a weepy day for me. My daughter lives 500 miles away; when she went away to school, I guess it never occurred to be that she'd never come back. I don't wish she was still living at home, but I do wish I could call her up and say "let's go shopping" or "come over for dinner tonight." Her boyfriend lives up there and has a huge family (it's just her dad and I here) who do all kinds of fun stuff, and I feel like I'm losing her to them.

    Plus, this is the first Mother's Day since my MIL passed away last fall, and my own has been gone for 6 years this week. So I'm having a tough day.

    Okay, enough with the pity party. There's grading to do.
     
  11. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    May 8, 2011

    :hugs: Mrs. K.
     
  12. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

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    May 8, 2011

    Oh, mom's and those who want to be, hugs to all of you. Happy Mother's Day to those for whom today is a remembrance.

    Not sure if this makes it better or not, but the founder of Mother's Day regretted starting it.
     
  13. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    May 8, 2011

    I was lucky that my mom came up and spent the day with me. I live 3 hours away from her so she brought my little sister with her and came up and we had a nice dinner last night with BFs mom and my mom. But a lot of years I don't see her, and I don't think my dad and other sister and brother appreciate her like I do because they still live at home and I don't think they GET how lucky they are to have her there all the time.

    I was a little sad this year because I am almost 31 and not a mom or wife. I'm ready. My doctor told me earlier this year that it would be detrimental to my health to have kids right now because of my weight and other related problems so I am trying to drop that, but it bummed me out a little bit too.

    I really hate it when people say Happy Mother's Day to all women of a certain age at the store. Unless you are pretty sure they are a mother and have the kids in tow, its probably best to just zip it.
     
  14. jteachette

    jteachette Comrade

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    May 8, 2011

    It's been a hard day for me as well. I keep getting wished "Happy Mother's Day" as well. I'm not a mother, am single, and am well past childbearing age. I was also passed up as godmother to my siblings children, so I can't even claim that. The "you're a teacher" thing doesn't cut it any more. It's just depressing, an after thought. My church does a mother's day blessing, calling first the great-grandmothers, then grandmothers, then mothers, godmothers, and teachers. I'm not doing the "oh, you're a teacher thing". I didn't go today.
     
  15. Kindergarten31

    Kindergarten31 Cohort

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    May 9, 2011

    I AM a Mom, but it still makes me uncomfortable when someone wishes me Happy Mother's Day (like at the store), because it seems necessary to say it back, but I have no idea if that person is a mom or not or if it makes them sad for whatever reason.
     
  16. TennisPlayer

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    May 9, 2011

    This was the first Mother's Day without my husband's mom (we're in our 30s and she died from cancer) so it's been several holidays after she passed in October that we've just gone through but definitely miss her and being able to call her (they lived out of state so the phone calls is the biggest weekly thing we looked forward to).

    Hug and tell people you love them/care about them. Life is precious.
     
  17. stephenpe

    stephenpe Connoisseur

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    May 9, 2011

    My mom has been gone about 10 years.
    Both grandmothers awhile now. Before I had
    kids I would tell folks I had 150 because I taught
    that many. It felt right then and even now.
    When I hear someone say they dont have kids or
    cant have any I just cant help thinking about all the kids
    in this world starved for love and parenting. IF we could
    just get them together this world would be a much
    better place. Its a tough world no matter how you look at it.
     
  18. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    May 9, 2011

    I feel the same way about Father's Day.

    I thought it would get easier, after my husband became a father, but it's actually worse because I think about how my kids will never know their grandfather. I see how good of a father my husband is, and I wish I could share some of that with my own dad. But I can't.

    I sometimes feel like my life went on hold when my dad died. Even today, 16 years later, I still catch myself thinking "Oh, I can't wait to tell Dad about that!", then reality comes crashing back down.
     
  19. scholarteacher

    scholarteacher Connoisseur

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    May 9, 2011

    I'm sorry it's so difficult for you, pumpkin! The number one thing I always wanted in life was kids--and grandkids. I'm adopted myself and am grateful to be a mom and "MomMom". I can imagine it must be difficult for you. Maybe you could "adopt" some kids you know as your honorary nieces and nephews. I don't know what to say except hang in there! Love and prayers for you! And don't forget, your students are fortunate to have you as a mom away from home!
     
    Last edited: May 9, 2011
  20. scholarteacher

    scholarteacher Connoisseur

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    May 9, 2011


    I'm sorry to hear it's a rough day for you. Your students are really blessed to have you, and you are probably a parent figure for many of them. But I know it's not the same as having your own home-grown kids. Hugs to you!
     

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