So today I met with the teacher about Hailey. I already told her - in an email - that Hailey is experiencing a 50% hearing loss in both ears and that H will have surgery next week to remove her adenoids and tonsils and to have tubes inserted into her ears. I suggested that she make some modifications/accommodations for her and she said that she already does. Unhappily - she has installed her FM system and apparently she used it today. ( I didn't bring it up, but I am going to request a 504 for H.) When I met with her, she started out friendly enough, but then turned right to "Hailey is unfocused", and honestly now, I wish that I had tallied how many times she said. "Hailey is unfocused." because - it was at least 15 times. I had made up my mind before I came to listen listen listen, because I know myself enough to know that I can be a little hot headed, and I do not want to act that way. So this is what I heard; a laundry list of all the things that H does wrong. She is slow at her work. She is unfocused. She is always touching the other kids. She does not respect personal space. She does not listen. She does not follow directions. She takes too long to unpack and pack at the end of the day. She has no friends. She does not interact with the other children. She does not work well in a group. It was tough to listen to because, of course, I am her mother and I think H is perfect and brilliant and wonderful, but in the same vein, I know that she can be a project. But, I listened - and really tried to process what she was saying. She asked me if H takes a long time to do things at home. Yes, she does. It takes me a long time to do things sometimes also. What do we do? The teacher suggested we use a timer with H. I guess I could do that. That might help with the slowness. I am not so concerned with the slowness, I am concerned with the freaking spelling test!! Then she told me again about how her son has ADD and so she knows about it and that Hailey is unfocused - and I think she was trying to compare them, or trying to get me to compare, but I am not sure if she used the exact words that they were alike - but she did bring it up. So then she said how bright Hailey was (finally a good thing!!) and how it is not a problem now, her inability to focus, but it will become a problem once the work gets harder. Right now she pretty much knows everything that they are doing. Honestly that is one of the MOST ANNOYING lines a teacher has told me, and I heard it last year too, that Hailey is smart, but doesn't listen - but it is not a big deal because she understands all the work (hindsight tells me she probably wasn't hearing last year either.) Today - there was a math test. She told H to put her book away for the test. Hailey did not put the book away. She let Hailey read for 15 more minutes and then I guess asked her again to put the book away and start the test so she did, but then she was behind, did not understand the directions, and had a meltdown. She disrupted the whole class. She also said that she KNOWS hailey can hear her when she gives a spelling test, she just doesn't listen. This is how the 50 minutes went. She did not offer any solutions as to how to make anything better for Hailey in class. She thinks that after hear hearing is improved that there will be a miracle and Hailey will start listening. I am not so sure. To know me personally, you would be shocked that I remained calm cool and collected through this meeting, I think I was just so unprepared for what I was going to hear, that I had no idea what else to say. I did however say that I wished in all my heart that Hailey had a teacher who knew the key to inspiring her. A teacher who cared enough about Hailey to look above and beyond to get Hailey engaged and excited about school and learning and a teacher who could make a real substantial difference in Hailey's life. I told the teacher that I wished more than she knew that SHE could be that person for Hailey. I wished that she had the knowledge, the skills, the perseverance to do more for Hailey than she was now. All she said, was yeah I wish I could too. I also told her that with all the hype about merit pay in NJ, that if teaches at this school were getting merit pay, I bet they would all WANT Hailey in their class, that they would JOYFULLY repeat SPELLING WORDS for their little 8 year olds - because the teachers would have financial incentive. ( she didn't like that) (I didn't like it either once it came out) I left with NO solutions. and my head is spinning. And if anyone has any advice for me, please spit it out because I am just spent. :thanks: If anyone read this.. :wow: I went on and on. Thank you!.