moral dilema

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out Archives' started by terptoteacher, Apr 22, 2007.

  1. terptoteacher

    terptoteacher Connoisseur

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    Apr 22, 2007

    Hypothetical question...ok, so it's not so hypothetical.

    What would you do if your teenager came home and told you that her friend (your neighbor) was shoplifting when they went shopping together.

    My daughter apparently told the girl to stop, but she wouldn't. My daughter told her that if she got caught, they'd all be in trouble, but the little theif didn't care.

    Would you tell the parents? If I tell, then the girl will consider my daughter a snitch. My daughter will think I betrayed her trust. My neighbors might think I'm interferring.

    What should I do?
     
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  3. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Apr 22, 2007

    Oh, this is a tough one. I understand your dilemma, but, as the parent of 2 teenagers, I would want to know if my kids were involved in dangerous or illegal activity.
     
  4. teachingmomof4

    teachingmomof4 Groupie

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    Apr 22, 2007

    I would have to agree. I understand how difficult it would be but, if it were my child, I would want to know. I wonder if there is any way you could let them know w/o the girl knowing it was your daughter?? Maybe they could find out what she took and have her parents ask her about it, subtly (sp?), without being obvious that they are fishing for info. I would imagine that your daughter won't be going shopping with her again anytime soon. Good luck to you. :love:
     
  5. mediha

    mediha Rookie

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    Apr 22, 2007

    Yes it is really difficult....But you should say this to her parents. It is a very important subject. If you don't, she can go on doing this job...(I mean "thief")
    You should talk to your daughter...you can tell her that this behaviour is very bad and that her friend may be the thief of her.
    If I were you, I would...
     
  6. Mamacita

    Mamacita Aficionado

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    Apr 22, 2007

    Do not allow your daughter to hang out with this girl any more, and if her parents ask why, tell them.
     
  7. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Apr 22, 2007

    Tell the parents. Tell your child not to see this girl anymore. Tell her that she will be happy when she's not sitting in jail for shoplifiting.
     
  8. terptoteacher

    terptoteacher Connoisseur

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    Apr 22, 2007

    I'm lucky in that my daughter has got a good head on her shoulders. She told the girl she didn't want to hang out any more, so I didn't have to tell my daughter she couldn't hang out together.

    I'm still pretty torn on whether or not to tell. The mother has always been a bit jealous of my daughter. Everytime the girls have a disagreement, it's always my daughter's fault. Even if there are eyewitnessses, it's my daughter's fault. Although this jealousy is centered around her daughter and the shoplifter is her stepdaughter.
     
  9. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Apr 22, 2007

    It seems that you can't win with mom anyway, so what do you have to lose by telling her. Honestly, she may say she doesn't beleive you, but it may get her thinking. Who knows what goes on behing closed doors anyway. If someone talks to her, maybe she can get help.

    The important thing is your daughter is smart enough to not associate with her anymore.
     
  10. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Apr 22, 2007

    Could you have your daughter tell her friend that you "found out" and are planning to tell on her by Friday? (She was talking to a friend and you overheard, or you read her diary or something? Anything that makes you the bad guy, not her?)

    That gives her 5 days to come clean on her own.
     
  11. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Apr 23, 2007

    You know, in this case I would leave it alone. As long as your daughter is not hanging out with her, and the mom never believes you anyway, I would just drop it unless she asks a point blank question. Your telling would probably not gain anything but could cause your daughter to be teased or something at school. If she is a chronic shoplifter, it is only a matter of time till she is caught. Under any other circumstances, I would say tell the mom.
     
  12. terptoteacher

    terptoteacher Connoisseur

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    Apr 23, 2007

    UPDATE

    The father of the shoplifter called today and wanted to talk with my daughter. Apparently my daughter confided in another friend. The mother of the other friend overheard and told the father.

    So, my daughter can honestly tell the girl (stickyfingers) that she didn't tell on her at all.

    It's a bit difficult for me because this girl is normally a very cool-down to earth--funny kid.
     
  13. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Apr 24, 2007

    Hopefully you will be with your daughter when this father questions her?
     
  14. terptoteacher

    terptoteacher Connoisseur

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    Apr 24, 2007

    It was via phone, but yes, I was there listening in. Dad just seemed VERY disappointed rather than pissed.
     

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