What was it like for you when you felt like life had been "the same" for awhile and were ready to take that leap to a whole new daily lifestyle, etc as a parent? This summer, we will be celebrating 4 yrs of marriage, together since 2004 and I feel like it's time to take a break from applying to teaching jobs and pursue the job of being a mom. I've been a nanny to many families, have been told I'd make a great mom, etc. I'm just wondering what it's really going to be like in terms of lack of sleep, etc....those are the things I'm not looking forward to! I feel like someone just needs to push me off the diving board (which I'm using to represent where I'm at now, before parenthood) and into the pool (which I'm using to represent all the fun to come, birthday parties, loving a child, having a fun time together!) :lol: It's normal to feel that hesitation right even though you know you want to be a parent? Or does that hesitation (again, all the challenging things like lack of sleep, etc) mean I better wait another year?
No one is ever really ready for parenthood, even those who yearn for it and have planned for it: there are ALWAYS things you learn about yourself (and some of them you'd just as soon not have learned)... so, yes, the hesitation's normal.
This, exactly. I'm 4-months in and have yet to get more than 3 hours' sleep at a time (even when DS sleeps longer, I still wake listening for him). It is hard not being able to just get up and go whenever without thinking of feedings/naps/etc. My little guy is NOT a good sleeper - he'll fall asleep in the car sometimes or his swing but for the most part he doesn't just fall asleep anywhere or on his own so it took us quite awhile before we could even take him into stores without him getting really fussy/screaming after a couple minutes. But it is so worth it, especially now that he really interacts a lot more with us and is starting to play a little and roll over and such. I imagine it only gets better. So while I do miss getting good sleep and having freedom, I wouldn't change it for anything!
The transition is sudden and life changing and amazing...your children will make you love more than you thought your heart could, laugh harder, cry more, think differently...it's incredible. Good luck and to you as you pursue this new phase in your life.
Transition? I never had a transition unless you count me thinking and getting prepared in case it ever happened. One day....SURPRISE!! But, it was obviously the right time. p.s. Her daddy and I never were married and I am a single mom 24/7 as her dad is never around.
Both my kids were surprises- especially Jeannie. 35 and expecting??! How'd THAT happen?? My kids each have a different mom, if you can understand that. With Kevin, I was only 21. I didn't have very good role models to go by, either. I did my best, and in some ways, that really wasn't good enough. Our relationship is not at all good today. Jeannie got the better mom. I learned things from other moms at our church, so I knew more with her. Her short end of the stick was that I was older and less energetic. My treat with Jeannie was that I got to homeschool her and experience so much I never got to with Kevin. So, even each situation with each child you have will be a little different.
I knew I was ready. Does this mean I had everything figured out, no way! I just knew that this was what I wanted and my husband was not going to push it off another year. He was so not ready! The entire pregnancy, he was scared out of his mind. Even in the hospital, I slept while he paced the halls worrying the nurses. After our little one was born, he was still panicked and the nurses walked him through every step of caring for our little one. Can I just say, now (she's a little over 1), he was so glad that I pushed him. Neither of us can imagine life without her. The thing about parenthood is that you can never really know what it will be like even with baby number two. Each little one is so different and no matter how much you prepare, you are still jumping into the unknown.
If you feel 75% ready, that is about as ready as you can expect to get. There is no perfect time, but it will work out. The transition for me was jarring. I got pregnant after being married for two years. We were surprised, but not in the way you might be if you hadn't been married awhile. I surprised myself by getting extremely happy and excited about it. But, I had a miscarriage. The experience showed me that I really wanted a baby. Actually giving birth to twins and becoming mother of two in one shot - that was another kind of jarring!
You don't know what it will be like at all until you actually do it. Thing is I was extremely high risk for postpartum depression and have not had any depression. That is a huge miracle. If your heart and mind are in the right place, go for it. I'm 6 weeks into motherhood, and like Mugglebug I have yet to sleep for more than 3 hours (except when the grandparents came to help out). As soon as I sit ready to eat a hot meal, Megan wakes up and is ready for her bottle. Be prepared for your food going cold, lol. Honestly, I love every minute. It is challening when I have had to wake up at 1am, 3am, 5am, and it takes hours to get her back to sleep, but I love it all. It's a labor of love. She is a tremendous blessing and gift to my husband and me. My life is 1million times better with her in it. God has given me a gift, and it's work, but it's the best work I could ever do. Motherhood is the greatest joy. I look forward to us going shopping, to the park, to the beach etc. The sleepless nights don't last always, but that beautiful angel will.
Webmistress, I love the name Megan! Congrats on your new little one I remember eating with a baby in my arms for about 2 years. Poor kid had every kind of food you can imagine dripped on her head. But I cherish those memories!
It wasn't gradual for us either. They became my life. It's weird today as my "baby" is 15 and my oldest is 25 and is married. I can't believe that I'll be a grandfather this summer!
Boom! Life changes, but for the great majority of people as soon as you hold that child and bond with them it is all worth it. It can be exhausting, frustrating, disgusting (admit it), etc. but the love you will feel you have never felt before and makes it all worth it. The people who have the most trouble are young parents who weren't mature themselves or ready for a baby and resent the time, etc. I can't wait for grandkids - except my boys definitely aren't ready so yes, I can wait. One of my boys says he never wants to be married or have kids and that makes me so sad....sigh....
TennisPlayer, I can totally relate to your post. I feel ready, but wonder if I'm really ready... if that makes any sense. It doesn't help that my biological clock is a ticking time bomb right now. At one point I knew 17 pregnant women. (That number is now down to 10.) Thanks to the other posters for sharing your replies!
Thanks! My husband named her and I asked how did he come up with the name, and he said (before she was conceived) he dreamt he was raising a daughter named Megan. I love the name too.
Ha! It is a huge decision. We would still be trying to decide if we had not been blessed with our "surprise" package, who came against all odds. Once I found out I was pg, I was THRILLED! It was one of the happiest times of my life. Labor and delivery was indeed labor, but all went well. Biggest surprise for me upon becoming a parent: all my selfishness was put under a bright light! Suddenly, you are second or third fiddle. But it is sooo worth it. I believe becoming a mother and the time spent as a SAHM was the biggest blessing of my life. The love for your child is unbelieveable. There is nothing like it in the world.
I'm not sure what this "transition" thing is that everyone is talking about. A woman goes from not being pregnant to having a baby. There is usually 9 or so months to plan and then the baby is here. If you sit there and complain or daydream about how life used to be before you had a baby....well, I don't know because I didn't. Motherhood is a job....you jump right in there and love your baby. I grew up fast and had my son young....but caring for him and being his mother is something I did without thinking twice. I was at a family reunion last weekend and was holding my new baby cousin....swaying him back and forth. My uncle said "You do that so naturally- is it time for another?" Perhaps it will be in the next year or so...10 years has been too long.
Thanks TeacherShelly and Mugglebug. I have to say I am glad he dreamt 'Megan' and not some other name I may not have liked. :lol:
