Moms and pregnant moms...please help

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by scienceteach82, Dec 7, 2009.

  1. scienceteach82

    scienceteach82 Cohort

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    Dec 7, 2009

    I'm 15 weeks pregnant.

    I had the quad screen done last week (just had turned 15 weeks). It came back that the twins are at an increased risk for Down Syndrome. I think the number was 1/295 or something like that. Maybe 1/245....can't remember. The other things it tested for were all like 1/1700 and the like...

    I have read that this test can give false positives...and am going to speak with a genetic counselor tomorrow. I am so scared. I don't know what to do or think. Stupid bf said we should get the amnio...and if one has downs...then terminate the pregnancy! OMG...I broke down. I just want healthy babies...and I know they can be healthy and still have down syndrome. It didn't even cross my mind to terminate. He had twin younger brothers and one had chorionic band syndrome...not genetic...but he said living with a disabled brother was very hard. And I'm sure that is what he is thinking about.

    I've read tons of stories about women having a 1/3 chance of baby having DS and they were fine...but it still worries me

    any advice? :(
     
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  3. scienceteach82

    scienceteach82 Cohort

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    oh...and they did my first anatomy u/s at that time too...doctor said everything looked normal...no red flags...but I know it's early...and there is no guarantee w/o amnio
     
  4. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    The quad screen is an inexpensive test to lower the number of women who should have the more expensive and risky tests. All the positive means is that there's more of a justificaiton to have themore expensive tests done. It does NOT mean that there is a problem with one of your babies. Relax a little here. You've had some complications already. I don't think that the added risk of an amnio is worth it at this point. Unless you think that you would definitely terminate if there was a problem, I would wait. I would also put more stock into the ultrasound results. That's the test that's more accurate at this point.

    I'm not even going to get into the debate about terminating the pregnancy of a less than perfect child. I'm not in the mood to get upset.
     
  5. scienceteach82

    scienceteach82 Cohort

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    Doctor kept saying the numbers were "on my side"...but still...ugh.

    The bleeding was due to placenta of twin A being close to cervix...but they expected it to move up as the baby grows.
     
  6. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Lots and lots of deep breaths.

    For starters, all they gave you is statistics. That's all. They didn't FIND anything, They're telling you about odds. And even if it's 1 in 200, that means 199 of those babies are going to be fine.

    I was 40 when we adopted Brian, then 42 and 45 when Julia and Kira were born. My odds for Downs were higher each time, yet both girls are fine.

    Try very hard not to stress about this. Don't listen to stories of living with a disabled sibling until you know what you're facing. Right now, it's just a number, nothing more. Nothing to say that YOUR babies have any sort of a problem.

    And tell "stupid bf" that you need, NEED him to not talk to you about this right now. He can hold your hand and rub your back and tell you that you'll get through this, whatever it is, together. That's it. He has a script and he's not allowed to deviate from it.
     
  7. scienceteach82

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    I'm trying to remind myself that nothing was found...just a higher risk...but it still sucks.

    We'll see tomorrow what the options for any testing will be...
     
  8. GoehringTeaches

    GoehringTeaches Comrade

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    I'm sure everything will turn out ok for you. And if one of the babies has Down's Syndrome, oh well. They can be the cutest (and most stubborn) kids I've ever met. I'm 21 weeks pregnant and opted against all of the testing. I knew that no matter what I wasn't going to abort, so why put myself through the stress of "odds and statistics." You have a lot on your plate, so don't let yourself stress out when you don't have any confirmation yet.
     
  9. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I just checked: my odds of Julia having DS were 1/65. For Kira it was 1/25. Both are happy, healthy and DS free.

    Just a word of warning: please, no matter how frightened you are, do NOT do an internet search. I learned this when I found out I needed a biopsy. The internet is such an incredibly huge resource of information, but the hug majority has nothing to do with your particular situation.

    If and when you need access to the info, it will be there. Right now, it will only make you crazy for no good reason.
     
  10. scienceteach82

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    thanks...just can't stop thinking about it
     
  11. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Of course not.

    I've had my share of sleepless nights, worrying about things that probably weren't true.

    Hang in there. Write Christmas cards, organize your address book, have BF hit the library and get you Gone With the Wind (book, DVD or both)-- ANYTHING to distract you.
     
  12. Tasha

    Tasha Phenom

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    I read that twins show an increased risk on the quad screening without showing an increased risk in actual babies - in other words an increase in false positives. Even then, there is a much better chance that both babies are FINE! Try to find anything to distract you and not internet stories about quad screening and down's syndrome!
     
  13. scienceteach82

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    thanks again...I recorded Chronicles of Narnia, and am watching that...
     
  14. aventa_teacher

    aventa_teacher New Member

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    i had this happen with both pregnancies - i had high levels of the hormone that indicates (possible) Down's....it turned out to be ok both times. you can choose to do an amnio if you wish, but i decided not to. the ultrasound they gave me to follow up both times reassured me that the babies (they were single fetus pregnancies) were fine. hopefully you can get an ultrasound that will reassure you!
     
  15. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    st~relax sweetie! I know it's hard under the circumstances. First off, it's nothing but stats. Second, with the risk of having twins anyway and the problems with bleeding you've had, then I wouldn't get the amino done. And I'm glad that they found out why you were bleeding. The doctors were telling me all kinds of things that could happen with dd if she was born when I went into labor. She's a happy, healthy, and bright child.
     
  16. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    st, Big Hugs! You have 25 more weeks to go, give or take a few. Your dr. said the "Odds are in your favor", that's good news, e-m-b-r-a-c-e all the good news. This is a special time in your life, give yourself permission to enjoy it.

    Have you thought about names yet? Have you looked at baby furniture? Start a journal for those babies, they might enjoy reading it at some point in their lives. Do some positive things for yourself and like Alice suggested, give BF a script and don't let him deviate from it.
     
  17. scienceteach82

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    I appreciate the support.

    I've thought of names...really stressed right now b/c I don't have a job :( So money is really tight. I've applied so many places and...nothing. Doctor had told me if I do get a job...it needs to be one where I am mostly off of my feet...lovely.
     
  18. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

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    Couldn't just read an not post a reply. Honestly, I would be exactly like you, stressing out and worrying myself sick about it. But there is a very high chance that everything is a-ok! Wish I could send a real hug your way, but here's my best: {{{scienceteach82}}}
     
  19. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    st-this same thing happened to my friend (only she was a single). The doctor was really flippant about it, and told her she would have to wait until the specialist came to the clinic next, about a month later. She was obviously upset, and ended up driving 4 hours to go TO the specialist the next day. They did all the tests, and everything turned out just fine. She has a happy, healthy 3 year old.

    Let the tests work, and even though it seems impossible, don't let the one abnormal test get to you. Relax, and focus on those beautiful babies!
     
  20. scienceteach82

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    i'm trying not to worry...and trying to convince myself everything is fine
     
  21. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    I'm so sorry you're so stressed. This will pass. See if you can sign up for some public assistance right now, that's what it's for. I wish you were closer geographically, I'd come hold your hand.
     
  22. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Did you contact the Parents of Multiples yet? I had a high risk pregnancy too, and focused upon getting ready and doing what the doctor said.
     
  23. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    I'm close...I can come hold your hand if you want :D
     
  24. scienceteach82

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    Thanks hoot and mm :)

    blue, yes...I joined the local group...but not many members keep up with the board. I posted my story and just got a few "hang in there's"...which is ok...but nothing will comfort me until I know for sure.
     
  25. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    My sister has a bone disease and a chromosome disorder that scared my doctor. With my son, he suggested amino. When I explained that all it would do was allow me to paint a worst case in my head and I didn't want it, he backed off. When my ultra-sound #2 (we did one a month after the fifth month, and two the last month because they wanted to prepare for bone breakage during the birth) showed abnormal growth, the doctor reassured me and we went on. Since aborting the baby was never an option, we never went through more testing. I prayed and felt at peace leaving it in the Lord's hands. With my daughter, the doctor knew everything and was ready with plan B. I was blessed to have a mature *not older* doctor that was understanding and wise. He didn't pressure, just informed without fear.

    Do what is best for you....it is your body and only you know how you will feel. I understand your bf's feelings (growing up with a handicap sibling is hard), but I would never wish my sister away. She has made me the person that I am. She is the reason I fight for my special needs kids with a vengeance. Every success she has makes me value my life more.
     
  26. scienceteach82

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    With bf's family history...we decided to do amnio. It hurt a lot! I had to be stuck 2x since they are in seperate sacks...ugh.
    The nurse showed me the numbers on the chart...it said I was on low side of normal...whatever that means. Still a risk...and since screen doesn't check each baby one could be 1:50 and the other 1:200...just don't know :(
    please send thoughts and prayers my way if you can...I want healthy babies so much.
     
  27. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I had an amnio; I'm sorry to hear that yours hurt. I don't remember mine hurting at all, but maybe I was so wrapped up in the possibilities.

    Now be sure to take lots of fluids today, and just take it easy.

    "Low side of normal" means NORMAL.

    Try very hard not to obsess about this (says the Queen of Obsessing herself.)

    You're in my prayers, as are the those two little babies.
     
  28. scienceteach82

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    thanks, Alice.

    just sitting around the house today watching movies...I was supposed to work at dealership...but...nope!
     
  29. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    :hugs: st. Have you contacted sidelines yet? They are a phenominal resource for high risk pregant women. I don't know if I would have remained sane at all during my pregnancies without them.
     
  30. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    OK, here's a game for you.

    Make 2 columns on a piece of paper: Girls and Boys.
    Then letter down: A, B, C...Z

    Come up with the most bizarre names-- real names though-- that you can for each letter of the alphabet.

    Then tell bf he can choose from your list :)
     
  31. scienceteach82

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    mm-i filled out their online form

    alice- lol...he's home with me...so that should be interesting ;)
     
  32. MsMar

    MsMar Fanatic

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    Hugs ST. You've gotten very good advice already. Just wanted to give my hugs and support.
     
  33. bros

    bros Phenom

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    We learned about this in my biology lecture last week :p (Hey look! It's useful for something!)

    The tests just give statistics as other people have said and the cheaper the test is, the more it gives a false positive.

    The test that would determine it would be a CVS (I believe that is the correct one) where they take a sample of the twins chromosomes and make a picture of it, then they can see if they have trisomy 21 (An extra pair of chromosome 21)

    They just want to warn you because twins have a higher risk of EVERYTHING. Premature birth is a BIG one and then all sorts of other fun stuff :p

    But premature birth is much much much more manageable now than it was when I was born, so almost all of the premees born now live a perfectly normal, healthy, life :p
     
  34. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    When I was pg, about a hundred years ago, these tests were not available. So, we worried about all the issues, with or without being tested. Women have been having babies for a long time, and loving the children and any issues they come with. You will manage. It just seems to be so much for you to handle right now.
     
  35. MissWull

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    Low side of normal...are those the results of the amnio? Or are you waiting for them? Sorry, haven't had a baby yet...but am trying! I hope for healthy babies for you and your DH...congrats btw. :)
     
  36. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    ST, think of those lessons on the bell curve.

    "Normal" is the line down the middle, the median.

    Anything on the left side within one standard deviation of the median-- that's 33% of the population-- is "Low side of normal." But it's all still "Normal."

    Don't worry about what people say about all the possibilites. Listen to your doctor and get rest. What is, is, and stressing about what might be won't do anyone any good.

    Just take this one day at a time. It's actually preparation for parenting-- learning that you cannot control all of what happens to your kids. Sometimes, like now, you have to just wait and pray that it all turns out OK.
     
  37. scienceteach82

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    It was exactly a bell curve, Alice. But it was having to account for both babies...so nothing is or was accurate. Yes, not having control sucks!
    When I was being stuck with those needles...I didn't care about the pain...just want healthy babies.

    Blue- I know...just makes it hard. Hard to imagine them not being perfect after seeing ultrasound and having their pics.

    Msmar- thanks :)

    bros- glad bio taught you something ;) I had the amnio which does the same thing. CVS is done earlier.

    Misswull- was for quad screen...won't know amnio preliminary results until today or tomorrow.
     
  38. mrs.teacher5

    mrs.teacher5 Companion

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    The Dr. told my cousin her baby would have Down's. Her number was much higher than yours. Then after months of worrying about they told her that the baby did not have Down's but had some type of spinal cord problem which could lead to the baby being paralyzed. She worried for the rest of pregnancy because of the numbers from all of those darn tests. Baby was born perfect. Try not to worry.
     
  39. scienceteach82

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    Thanks...no call today except to get my new doctor's number...so...prelim results tomorrow.
     
  40. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    OK, another bizzare doctor error story:

    When my nephew was an infant, he developed a rash. My sister took him to the doctor.

    Somehow, we'll never know how, the doctor decided that Ray had some incredibly rare disease that would lead to his growing up with webbed hands and feet.

    My sister called mom, crying and sobbing on the phone. Mom suggested that EIleen stop crying, and put away all the EAster Candy stuff she had been making-- the smell of candy just permeated the entire house, and maybe that would help.

    It did. The rash went away. No webbed hands and feet, and not even a strong allergy to chocolate. Ray is now a 28 year old dad.

    You'll be in my prayers, and I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.
     
  41. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

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    When my sister was little, my mom went to get her out of her crib after her nap. Her fingers and toes were all swollen. She took her to the doctor, who told her that it was probably tuberculosis and she should go home and come back in a few days for a test.

    Ummm...besides throwing my mom into a panic because of how he handled it, he was totally wrong. Turned out to be hives...probably just because it had been very cold.
     

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