mom gets ticket for spanking child..

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by mandagap06, Jul 14, 2008.

  1. mandagap06

    mandagap06 Devotee

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    Ya its true! So this mom was out I think shopping and her 2yr old girl was throwing a temper tantrom(or so I think was the situation) and the police gave her a ticket for it. I do not know many of the details since I only saw it right before it went off Cnn! What you do guys think do you think the police should of given her a ticket? I think no! If you are beating children for no reason than yes. This mom just gave a quick your in trouble spanking she was not using child abuse on this child.
     
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  3. Chef Dave

    Chef Dave Companion

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  4. scienceteach82

    scienceteach82 Cohort

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    How stupid!!! I was spanked as a kid...not beaten...and turned out just fine. Everyone is different, and has different opinions...but I will spank my kids when they are bad.
     
  5. cosmoteach

    cosmoteach Rookie

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    I agree with you. When I first became a mom, I swore I would NEVER spank my son. That changed when he turned 2 and I hate to say it but he has had a few spanks on the bottom. Never too hard, but they got the point across. With that said, do I think there are more effective forms of discipline? Well, of course I do. When he was 2, a quick spank worked and was effective. Now as a 4 year old, he knows that this form of punishment is over quick and is easy...therefore it does not work. So, a time out is much more effective. If you asked him, he would tell you he would prefer a spanking to a timeout, I know I have asked! I am sure as he gets older, I will have to adjust my consequences again.
     
  6. scienceteach82

    scienceteach82 Cohort

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    I agree, CT! When I was grounded and couldn't talk to my friends...I would have preferred being spanked to a week of no phone. UGH...that was horrible during my young life! lol
     
  7. RainStorm

    RainStorm Phenom

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    I was at a restaurant a few weeks ago. A family with 2 young children was in the next booth. The little boy (about 5) was acting up. His mother talked to him about his behavior, but he kept pushing things. His mother said, this is your last warning!

    Of course, he kept acting up.

    She took his hand, and left the restaurant.

    I was finished, and went out to my car to leave. She was sitting in the backseat of the car next to me, with him across her lap, spanking the daylights out of him (spanking..not beating)

    I was impressed. I'm so sick of hearing parents say, over and over, "now stop that..." or "this is your last warning..." (and they say it 20 or 30 times.)

    Either mean it, or don't say it!
     
  8. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    The TWO most liberal States in the Union
     
  9. 3Sons

    3Sons Enthusiast

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    Spanking is punishment, and has some difficulties in application. There are at least a dozen problems with it, ranging from minor to serious. It can foster resentment, it can lead to escape behaviors (e.g., lying), it is difficult to maintain a consistent level of punishment, it models violence, the subject becomes acclimated to it, etc. There are also usually alternatives.

    However, those who call for no spanking ever are being dogmatic. One of the known aspects of punishment is that it works quickly (almost too quickly, as the rapid change encourages increased spanking).

    Spanking can be used when you want the kid to stop doing something (not encourage them to do something), when you can apply it immediately, when you can't afford the natural consequences, when you're willing to over-punish once, and when verbal direction won't work. Most people, unfortunately, egregiously misuse spanking. And emotions tend to run high on both sides of the debate.
     
  10. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Like it or not pain is a great teacher
    If you tell a child not to pull the doggy's tail and they do the dog bites them they learn
    If you tell them not to touch the candle they do and burn their fingers they learn
    if you swat their diapered bottom you get surprise more than pain I see nothing wrong "Getting their attention" with a swat.

    Remember you don't have to get licensed to be a parent
    when I was young my parents had their parents to ask parenting questions now I don't see this.
     
  11. mandagap06

    mandagap06 Devotee

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    Me to I was also spanked as a child and will spank my child(ren) if they need it when I have children one day! I don't want to bring religion into this(well actually yes I do) you can tell by reading the bible that God agrees no to spoil your child but not spanking! Too many parents let their kids get away with whatever they want now a days and thats how teens are getting into so much trouble! You all have seen the news. I don't think I have to tell you about the trouble teens have gotten in well it goes back to the parents steping in and teaching their child right from wrong! If they don'tlisten a spanking helps! Trust me there is nothin wrong with taking off you belt or useing a hand my parents did it to me with love!
     
  12. Iteachtwo

    Iteachtwo Companion

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    My parents and grandparents spanked me when I was a little girl. My last spanking was from my dad at 16. There was no Children's Protective Agency that I knew of. If so, my parents and grandparents would've definately been quilty of child abuse. However, I must admit that I turned out ok. And to keep the tradition going, I have done the same with my three. My older two joke about how I would "beat them" and how much easier I am on my youngest. But he gets it too.
     
  13. RainStorm

    RainStorm Phenom

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    My parents spanked, but you know what? I don't think I ever got spanked after I was about 5 years old. Never needed to -- I KNEW they were serious and I did what I was told. Same with my brother.

    I only got grounded once too -- and I learned my lesson. I was thirteen, and I went with some friends off into the woods after my dad had said "don't go into the woods." My dad made me pull weeks for 5 hours every day I was grounded. (He was reseeding the yard and needed every bit of grass pulled up...) After 35 hours of weed pulling in the hot sun, I NEVER did anything to get grounded for again.
     
  14. Go 4th

    Go 4th Habitué

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    I mentioned DFACS to my dad one day and got the stew beat out of me. :) Not funny really, but I was beat more than spanked. My dad always went above and beyond. He wouldn't know when or how to stop. The problem was....he didn't know how to parent any other way. The rest of the time, he was just there--not involved, supportive or anything. He was the punisher.

    If a parent is PARENTING, then I believe in spanking. I always said I would never hit my child, but my youngest has been popped on the bottom more than once. He is a child that doesn't react to time out or taking things away. You can warn him till the cows come home, and it doesn't mean squat. Pop him on the bottom 2 times, and wha-la! Instant behavior changer!
     
  15. RainStorm

    RainStorm Phenom

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    I had a parent tell me a funny story. She said her daughter came home from 1st grade and said "You aren't supposed to hit us. If you do, we are supposed to call 911." (This was after a good touch-bad touch class in school -- which of course, wasn't really supposed to address the topic of spanking.)

    The mom looked at her daughter and said, "If you picked up that phone and call 911 because I'm spanking you, I might end up getting in trouble. But I PROMISE you if I'm going to get in trouble, I'll make sure I deserve it. Just imagine what I could do to you BEFORE 911 could get here!"

    The daughter decided it would NOT be a good idea to call 911 because she was being spanked.
     
  16. Go 4th

    Go 4th Habitué

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    LOL!
    :)
     
  17. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    My Dad was a little like that.

    Once when my DS was about 12 (he was a muscular 12) he decided to defy me (I was a single parent) and kinda squared off to me well I told him "One of us is going to jail and the other to a foster home so bring it on" and I gave him "the look" he backed down and went to his room.
    He later said that he thought I would back down because I am a peace maker, and I never did stupid macho stuff in front of him but when he saw my LOOK he knew he shouldn't push it (I am glad he didn't because I didn't want to get hurt or hurt him and I didn't want to have to back up what I said :eek:)
     
  18. Go 4th

    Go 4th Habitué

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    That is too funny Dave!
    Some people won't understand this but, one of my proudest moments was when my dad hit me and he turned aroudn to walk away, and I ran and shoved him. He looked at me like I had lost my mind. It was like something took over. I told him that he would never again hit me, or I would call the police. I then packed all my stuff and left. I was 19. It was the moment that I finally stood up for myself. :)

    It is also part of why I am a teacher--I want kids to know that they have a safe place to come, and are valuable and deserving of love. I may not get a single standard in their little heads, but they will know I loved them.
     
  19. titansrst

    titansrst Rookie

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    Nothing wrong with spankings....

    except the bleeding heart liberals who find fault with any application of the act and want us to be friends instead of parents to our children. Like the other posters said, I don;t believe in beatings, and i have seen some horrible beatings with extension cords, hangars and even shoes. I have seen parents punch their kids. This is not a spanking..it's an assault.
     
  20. ahsila

    ahsila Companion

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    Is a swat child abuse now?

    I spank my children if I need to get their attention. I only use my hand, it's only on their bottom and never more than twice or if I am emotional about the situation (I want to get their attention, not physically harm them). Still, I can't help but wonder what the people who consider spanking cruel would think of how my parents punished me when I was little... I can remember getting smacked in the mouth for smarting off to my mom, getting the belt used on me, and if I screwed up with my grandma, I had to pick a switch from the tree(and fast, because as I was choosing, she was counting "licks"). I was in middle school when the whole child abuse thing started and one time, I told my mom if she ever tried to spank me again, I'd report her for child abuse and she told me that if I ever did that, she'd show me the difference between a swat and child abuse. I never mentioned that particular idea again.
    I personally don't think some kids get spanked enough. If some of the kids in my class got their little tushes popped when they act up, they might control themselves a little better.
     
  21. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    Just to share this story: I remember my dad chasing me around with a shoe one time. My brother and I were playing and I accidentally hit him in the mouth, causing his mouth to bleed. My dad was so angry, he wanted to hit me. My mom, I think, stopped him. But, I remember being so terrified and crying and running around the kitchen table to get away from him. Later, my brother accidentally hit me on my head and busted it open. What happened? Nothing. Mom gave me some gauge and I was left alone.


    I don't have any kids and don't plan on it, but I know that if I did, I would spank only if my kid did something that would jeopardize their life or cause injury. Like, if they ran out into the street without looking.
     
  22. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    Seriously? And we wonder what's wrong with our kids today. The cop should have given her a blue ribbon.
     
  23. jw13

    jw13 Groupie

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    Well, I was spanked as a child. Sure I turned out fine, I guess. BUT, did it change my behavior? Heck no...I just learned to be better at keeping things away from my parents. Did I still have bad days and temper tantrums? Of course, I was a kid.

    The thing with spanking, is that there is no evidence that it has any long term positive effects for changing the desired behavior in children. It is also what parent resort to when they don't know what to do. I have two sons and have had days where they drive me to the edge. But, I have yet to lay a hand on them.

    If this parent had a child with a tantrum, the best thing would have been to remove the child.

    I personally find it funny that we tell children that they can't hit other children when they don't like what another child is doing, but yet parents turn around hit when they don't like a child's behavior. Who really has the greater control over themselves?

    I will now hide behind the couch....LOL.
     
  24. teacherSMK

    teacherSMK Habitué

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    Somebody wanna help me move the couch....just kidding..lol...I think spankings definitely serve as a good punishment for certain behaviors.
    My 3 year old doesn't mind time-out. She is a dreamer and will sit in a chair til her legs fall off, because she sits there daydreaming. She has a stubborn, strong will, and can be quite defiant, and the only thing that works when she is being obstinate is a swat on the bottom. I do not beat her...it just gets her attention, and she knows mom means business.
    On the other hand, My 4 year old would prefer a spanking. :) She HATES time-out and the take away bin. I rarely spank her because it is inaffective with her...If i put her in timeout for four minutes the behavior changes. I think te punishment needs to fit the crime and the criminal...not that my angels are criminals...just a metaphor ;)
     
  25. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    1. I think it is funny how many of us said we would never spank until we actually have children and change our mind.

    2. A wise friend of mine gave me some wonderful spanking advice one Sunday in church. When his son was misbehaving, he would schedule a spanking for him. He said that since he always followed through, it would drive his son crazy. If he scheduled it at 6:00 p.m., he said by 4:00 his son was begging to just get it over. He said that made the spanking even more effective.

    3. I spank my children. I think it has its place. I believe that the part of the processes that is most effective is the fact that my children know I mean it. I don't give warnings, but if I hold up three fingers my children know that all behavior must stop before I am down to one. They mind me. My son is a clown, but all of his middle school teachers this year told me he was polite and well mannered. That I believe is because he knows what happens if I don't hear that type of description.
     
  26. teacherSMK

    teacherSMK Habitué

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    mrachelle87 - well said! #3 is the same with my kids...~Sarah
     
  27. jw13

    jw13 Groupie

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    #1...said it and still see no need for that form of punishment
    #2...I love how people call spanking effective. If you have to do it more than once how effective is it?
    #3....my children respond the same way...however it isn't because they know that they will be hit.
     
  28. RainStorm

    RainStorm Phenom

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    Following that logic, then timeouts are effective either, since if they were effective, you'd never have to do one again.

    Following that logic, grounding a child isn't effective, because if it was, you'd never have to do it again.

    Following that logic, taking away priveledges isn't effective, because if it was, you'd never have to do it again.
     
  29. jw13

    jw13 Groupie

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    I guess because the implication being presented is that it is MORE effective than alternatives to spanking.
     
  30. KinderMissN

    KinderMissN Companion

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    I remember getting spanked only for major things. I remember being spanked for lying. My husband and I will spank when we are parents. Both of us were spanked, and both of us see it as an effective consequence when time out and natural consequences are not an option.
     
  31. mandagap06

    mandagap06 Devotee

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    Thats kinda funny about you saying you would report your mom cuz' I said that once before and she said if you did the police would come and take you from mommy and daddy and you would not get to see us again scared me into saying well I won't do that!
     
  32. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    There's a difference between spanking and beating. A spanking should hurt their little hearts more than it hurts their bodies. It should be an attention getter, it should shock more than hurt. A spanking should not leave any kind of mark on their skin...if it does, it's a beating. I have spanked my kids on occasion, but, as somebody else said, they outgrow that sort of thing by three or so, and I've only done it for serious offenses (the last time I can recall was a kid going into my purse and finding and playing with a lighter).

    Now, since there are stories like this all over the place, I took a page out of my sister's book. If I was out in public and my two year old was throwing a tantrum or something similar, I would put my head close to his, reach my hand under his leg (since the child would be in the cart), pinch the underside of his leg just enough to feel, and tell the child to cut it out or we would leave. Usually, the first time I did this to any of my kids I had to follow through and leave. I would literally abandon my cart in the middle of the store and walk out. When I got home, I made the offending child miserable for pretty much the rest of the day by seriously curtailing allowed activities and reminded him why he couldn't watch tv/have dessert/play a long time in the bathtub was because his behavior prevented me from getting my things done. I only had to do this once with each child. After that, even a wordless pinch to the leg was enough to stop a tantrum cold.
     
  33. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    My daughter was almost 4yrs. old & I was letting her ride her tricycle up & down the sidewalk. She could go 2 driveways in either direction. My son was only a few weeks old. It was starting to get chilly, so I took him inside, while I was inside a lady with a dog walked past. My daughter started following them. I come out of the house & she's 3 driveways away. I'm yelling at her, she's in her own little world, following the dog, I'm following behind her, sure that she'll stop at the end of the block. The lady & dog turn, my daughter turns, by this time I'm running, trying to catch up to them. The lady & dog keep going. They get to the street behind us, the lady & dog keep going, the lady finally turns around & tells my daughter that her Mother wants her. I caught up with my daughter. Made her get off her bike & walk it home. The bike then went into a very long (days long) time-out. She sat on the couch for her time out. I also told her that she couldn't ride her bike with out Mom or Dad.

    My Mother wanted to know if she got a spanking. I didn't spank her, but I got my point across.

    For the next couple of years when she would see anyone, of any age riding their bike without their Mom/Dad she would say that they were in trouble.

    Maybe that's why she doesn't ride her bike very often. She's 16 now. :wub:
     
  34. mandagap06

    mandagap06 Devotee

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    Not to try and dog your parenting, but were you outside watching while you let her ride her tricycle. I hope you were out there with her since its a very dangerous time we live in. I would have spanked her.
     
  35. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    I went inside for a minute. What can I say? For some reason, I didn't feel the need to spank her. It must have been her reaction when I finally caught up with her. Given our neighborhood, at that time, it was perfectly safe. I don't think I'd do something like that today, given how society has changed.
     
  36. mandagap06

    mandagap06 Devotee

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    My last word about it but Bad people can come to good neighborhoods.
     
  37. Amanda

    Amanda Administrator Staff Member

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    I had a lot of opinions about parenting before I had children that completely changed once I did. I'm thankful that I was a teacher for so many years since I had to learn how to discipline a child without physical punishment. Often, it's easier to use spanking since that's how we were raised or because it's fast. It's not always the most effective form of discipline, but it may have its place in some situations. I swatted my daughter on the rear the other day, but I normally teach her what is right/wrong in other ways. Every child is different and every situation is different. It's not really fair to judge someone when you have no idea. kpa1b2, for instance, didn't use spanking, yet her daughter learned what she did was wrong and it obviously had a meaningful impact. Would it have been different if she were spanked? Maybe, maybe not, but the point is that how her mother chose to discipline her worked. What more could you ask for? :love:

    By the way, the verse in the bible, "spare the rod, spoil the child" isn't referring to spanking. The "rod" isn't something you hit someone with, rather it's referring something that provides guidance. The "rod" is only one translation of that verse. If you look at the root word in the Hebrew text, it actually means scepter or staff, a symbol of authority. The point of the verse is saying to provide guidance/correction/discipline. (Proverbs 13:24)
     
  38. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Will you marry me? Wait...that would be illegal on several counts...lol. I LOVE your explaination.
     

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