Meeting with Parents Need Suggestions

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by sophie1, Feb 3, 2010.

  1. sophie1

    sophie1 Comrade

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    Feb 3, 2010

    Hello Everyone,

    Tomorrow, I meet with the parents (at their request) of a child in my classroom. They would like to go over the concerns that their son has.

    This student calls out all day, has no respect for adults, is rude to other students, lacks remorse when he does something, thinks that every conversation involves him, and feels that he is not called on at all and treated in an unfair way.

    I jump through hula hoops for this student and he actually gets more attention that most students. My question, how do I politely tell the parents about their son? Any key words that will get the point across without being rude or inappropriate, the words that I can think of are not okay.

    Thank you. ;)
     
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  3. fantasticfirst

    fantasticfirst Rookie

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    Feb 3, 2010

    Two questions first 1) Will the student be present? 2) Is there anyone one else that could sit in on the meeting with you, like the guidance counselor?
    I would let them air all of their concerns first. Then I simply give examples of the student's behavior in the classroom, and how it has effected the student and the other students in your class. Take all emotion out of the situation, and simply present them with the facts.
    Good luck!
     
  4. bros

    bros Phenom

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    Feb 3, 2010

    "Johnny does not act socially mature for his age" might be good, but that might be too.... acidic
     
  5. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Feb 3, 2010

    As hard as it is, you have to somehow let them know about the child's behavior. You are not doing anyone a favor by concealing the truth. You can be kind, and describe his behavior, and let them know that some of it is just typical for his age. And, he needs support to learn and outgrow it. For example, I had a child who hit everyone. I talked with his parents, and explained that this was his way of saying "Hello, look at me." Our job was to help him learn how to say hello in a socially acceptable way.
     
  6. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    Feb 4, 2010

    I had a very similar situation during my internship, but that was in middle school rather than 2nd grade. The situation finally ended with a parent/teacher/principal/student conference.

    The boy was a constant disruption and distraction in the classroom, but then would go home and tell his parents that I was "mean" to him and picking on him. A couple of days before the conference, I had gone out in front of the school to speak with his mom before she picked him up for the day. I didn't get a chance to speak with her, but as her son came out of the school he stuck his tongue out at me - which the mother saw.

    When we had our conference, I let the parents voice their concerns first. Then I handed them a two-page typewritten sheet listing just some of the things their son had done in my class, complete with dates. When they confronted the student about the list, he lied at first, but eventually had to admit it was all true.

    When they asked me about his behavior and his attitude, I just told them the truth. I didn't make judgements about the boy, but I didn't try to excuse or explain his behavior. I just said "Your son has done this and this and this. I responded by doing this and he reacted like this."

    As fantasticfirst said, I just gave them the facts without judgement or emotion. Faced with that, there wasn't much the son could do to get out of it.

    Of course, this was an 8th grader who is old enough to be told "You're behavior is not acceptable - period". I realize you might want to phrase things a little differently with parents of a 2nd grader.

    Just remember to stay calm, objective and matter-of-fact. You should also have at least another teacher (if not the P or counselor) in the room during the meeting as well for CYA if nothing else.
     
  7. HeatherY

    HeatherY Habitué

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    Feb 4, 2010

    I would request the counselor to be there. Has she seen this child in couseling at all? I would also have the child present and have the child tell the parents what has been going on. If he lies, then you can pull out your evidence. I think he will probably tell the truth. Was the child at your school last year? Have you spoken to his teacher from last year? Is this ongoing behavior from years past?
     

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