Mean girls in early elementary

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by Backroads, Feb 24, 2015.

  1. Backroads

    Backroads Aficionado

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    Feb 24, 2015

    Is this a common thing, girl drama in lower grades? My second grade classroom is plagued by a group of girls who are just plain nasty to each. They are, in mean girl fashion, terribly low-key about it, with the more dramatic stuff occurring at recess and nasty looks happening during the class. I don't let them near each other in the classroom, but still they find ways to gather in groups and whisper.

    It's made worse since a mom got involved. I met with the assistant principal today as the mom has been harassing him almost daily. This girl has an 8th grade sister who is also the center of girl drama at our junior high. He believes the mother is fueling it.

    I'm having our delightful counselor give a series of friendship lessons, but I'm not really sure what else to do. I want to be there in support of true problems, especially since these are 2nd graders, but I fear getting too involved and making it worse.
     
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  3. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Absolutely, this stuff starts early and lasts a long time. I strongly recommend reading Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman. It's geared toward the younger crowd (Odd Girl Out by Rachel Simmons is great for middle to high school students, parents, and teachers).
     
  4. ChelserG90

    ChelserG90 Rookie

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    It happens. I have a few in my class. It got so bad, that I had to switch one of the children out of my class. The girls were friends one second, and horrible to each other the next. They were just all about the drama, and it never stopped.
     
  5. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    I don't have mean girls but I have certainly have the mean boys! By that I mean they are constantly harassing each other and giving each other the eye. They tattle on each other, they constantly are whining at each to stop. I have spoken with parents. I have taken away privileges. I have gotten the principal involved but it just doesn't stop. The three that are the ones mostly involved are two only children (well one just had a baby brother 3 months ago) and the last one is the baby of all (4) girls. I really hate drama of any kind, boy or girl.
     
  6. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    Feb 24, 2015

    My mom teaches kindergarten and says she sees girl drama with her little ones! It starts at a very, very young age. She does a great job of trying to curb this type of (in-class) behavior, but she says a lot of it happens during recess.

    Shoot, now that I think of it--the "mean girl" syndrome continues into adulthood. It's rampant in my school with some of the teachers here!
     
  7. PinkCupcake

    PinkCupcake Cohort

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    Feb 24, 2015

    I'd say that drama starting so early is more common than we think. I can think picture one particular student in my class now who has mean girl syndrome. I have to keep an eye on her especially during small groups and centers.
     
  8. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    *knock on wood*

    This is the first year I have NOT had major girl drama in my class.
     
  9. Backroads

    Backroads Aficionado

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    Feb 26, 2015

    Thanks for the thoughts! I appreciate most knowing this isn't just my classroom.

    Does anyone have any advice on how to respond to Mom? We hate to say anything as blatant as stop fueling the fire.
     
  10. Nab

    Nab Companion

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    When I got my degree in Child and Families Studies, I had a class that took place in the university's nursery school. These were 15 children, ages 2 and a half to 5. We were the "teachers" and I'd say most of the students were 3 or 4. There was mean girl drama there.

    There were three little girls that were 3 and half/4 and they had a click. They only ever wanted to play in one center and would tell other little girls/boys that they weren't allowed. I remember the click even had a leader. I can still recall one of my classmates saying: "So-and-so is your friend. Why can't he play in this area too?" And the "leader" of the three girls sneering and saying: "He's not our friend."

    The worst part was the actual teacher of the nursery school saw no problems with the behavior of those three little girls. They would demand toys, demand to be the only ones in certain play centers, make rude comments (to the other students and us), and break the rules. But, nothing was ever said.

    I have to laugh, though. Because, one day I was in the science center and was with a little boy. He turned to me and said: "Do you know so-and-so? (the "leader" of the three girls) I don't care for her." He than sighed dramatically, and went back to playing. These three little girls may have been mean girls in training, but the other 12 children really disliked them.
     
  11. AnnieC

    AnnieC Rookie

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    Feb 28, 2015

    It is just unbelievable but the reality how early this drama,bullying and conflicts start. And like you mentioned sometimes no matter how far apart you sit them they will find ways to still start the drama..during recess,bathroom breaks,after school..

    When I was in second grade we had a lot of drama going on, more bullying than anything though. I think we should really stress the fact that it does occur and keep awareness of it more vivid throughout the schools. Perhaps, remind the students how it's wrong and why it is wrong. As for your girls, I can understand why you wouldn't want to be involved but no matter what eventually you may just be. And it's just sad that the mom is involved, that makes it even worse. I would say just have a general talk with the entire class that way the girls and the whole class is aware that you know this is happening and you will not tolerate it in your class.
     
  12. MissMae

    MissMae Rookie

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    Mar 7, 2015

    It was happening a little bit in October, but it has been ramping up across the whole school since February. An incident happened during recess a few weeks ago, and I laid into them. I basically said that this behavior was disgusting, and they should all be ashamed. I took the entire class's recess away for the next day. I told them they were not in some TV show or movie, they were in school, and that drama and bullying was horrible. I banned it from class. I have a knack for knowing when its happening in class, so I just send them to Buddy Room and make them write apology letters and have parents sign them. It's basically a zero tolerance policy. I also have a Tattle Box so they do not verbally tattle to me anymore. I also have a Compliment Box, because its easier to be nice than mean. I also give Teamwork Points and Helpfulness Points on Dojo.
     
  13. Ms.Blank

    Ms.Blank Companion

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    Mar 7, 2015

    I love all these ideas. Thank you so much!

    I have seen mean girls in kindergarten and up. My question...what do you say to the girls when they come up to you and tell you that "so and so says I'm not her friend" or "so and so hurt my feelings by not playing with me"? I feel so helpless!
     

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