Mean and Miserable Co-Workers

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out Archives' started by Youngteacher226, Feb 8, 2007.

  1. Youngteacher226

    Youngteacher226 Enthusiast

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    Feb 8, 2007

    Sorry to come here to vent:
    BUT- I am just about sick of a couple of my co-workers. Being the rookie is always hard, and things have gotten better since I vented last time, but there is this one "joke" of a person who calls herself a woman who keeps making sly comments around me I think to offend me. Here it is:
    I work with this person (never had a conversation with her though) and we worked for the Head Start organization at one time. She left a few years ago and I just left. Anyway, when I got hired at this school, she made a comment to me that she hated the HS organization and the administration hated her and always wrote her up. She said that she couldn't do anything right when she worked there and was glad to leave. On the other hand, I didn't feel the same way. I said that I enjoyed my time there and I left it at that. Ever since we had that brief discussion about us both working for HS, she has been making rude comments when I am around like in the falculty room and things like that. It's like when I enter the room, she says things like, "I am a Kindergarten teacher and it makes me so mad how all of my kids are slow because they didn't learn anything in preschool." She says comments like, "These head start teachers don't do nothing with the kids, let them nap all day and play all day then they come to me and I'm supposed to do something with them?"
    Ughhhhhh!!!!!!!!:mad: It is driving me crazy!! I feel like she is directing her comments to me to get under my skin or to get a reaction from me. But worse, I feel like she's trying to give me a bad name in this school by making people think we know each other,like we've worked together before which is totally untrue. She worked in a whole diff. town than I did, we just worked for the same organization. It is really starting to bother me!
    I feel like how miserable and mean can people be to each other?? And we actually call ourselves educators and teachers and we are supposed to be role models for young kids???? This idiot is a Kinder teacher and she acts like this. To make things worse, she's pregnant!!!! Poor child! I also found out that she has been written up several times since she's been working at this school for the way she treats co-workers and parents. She is an ugly, miserable being.

    Please give me some advice on how to handle this. This is my first year at this school and I'm not going to let someone bad mouth me by making my other co-workers think that I am a bad teacher because of the stigma she is putting on me for being a Head start teacher. SHE WAS A HEAD START TEACHER! How dumb. Anyway, I can't figure out why she is doing this. My only option I think is to confront her and put her in her place. Or she will probably keep doing it.
    What should I do????:eek: :(
     
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  3. Youngteacher226

    Youngteacher226 Enthusiast

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    Feb 8, 2007

    Oh, by the way, she did it again today so this makes incident number 3 so far this year.
     
  4. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Feb 8, 2007

    I think a) she really is a horrible human being , b) she is jeaulous, c) she is hormonal due to pregnancy or d) ALL of the above.

    Seriously, there really is nothing you can ( or should do).. Your reputation will speak for itself.... from previous posts you really know what you are doing. Her reputation, I'm sure already speaks for itself too. I know it's a horrible thing, but honestly, let her talk sooner or later she will lose interest in hearing her own voice and move on to the next victim.

    Honestly, sometimes the best response is no response at all.
     
  5. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Good advice, Frizz. I was thinking along those lines. She must have some personality problems. Just go about your business and ignore her. Seek out uplifting people.
     
  6. forkids

    forkids Cohort

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    Feb 9, 2007

    I agree. People like that always end up hurting themselves by their actions more than the people they are trying to hurt. Everyone soon realizes what kind of person they are and THEY end up with the bad reputation. I have found through the years that the best way to deal with people like this is to stay away from them as much as possible, and when you can't avoid them, ignore them. Just be yourself and give co-workers time to get to know you, they will see how things are. Hang in there, it gets easier!
     
  7. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    I can certainly relate to the hormones! LOL!

    I think the best thing to do is to just ignore her and not let it bother you. If she is out to get you, then showing your frustrations will only make her say more. Let it go in one ear and out the other. Or, change the subject.

    On a side note, I have a parent who "always has something wrong". She drops off her child and is always complaining about something, usually health wise with her (hypocondriac...sp?). I finally got irritated enough and started ignoring her and changing the subject. IT WORKED! She still complains sometimes, but it's not nearly as bad as it use to be. She probably just got fed up enough with me not caring anymore...or, she finally took a hint.
     
  8. wdwteach

    wdwteach Cohort

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    Feb 9, 2007

    I work with some angry burn-outs. I just kill them with kindness. They hate it!!! I am so happy and positive and I refuse to stand there and agree with them. I just say something nice and smile and sympathize a little. OOOOHHH they just hate that!:D
     
  9. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

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    Don't say a word to her - don't put her in her place because that invariably makes you look bad. In some unexpected way, you'll end up regretting saying anything.

    It's possible she isn't directing these comments at you to make you look bad. Maybe, maybe she's trying to make herself look better to you? If you believed she had a rough lot of students thrown her way, you might not blame her if her class is a mess? No doubt she wants to blame someone, anyone, maybe you or maybe Head Start - but it actually has NOTHING to do with you. Hold your head up and ignore her as long as humanly possible.
     
  10. Youngteacher226

    Youngteacher226 Enthusiast

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    Thank you all for the advice. I think you are right that saying something will make things worse. The only reason why I said I might have to say something is because my mentor teacher gave me advice that if her sly comments continue, than it may be a good idea to go to the principal or say something to her. I don't necessarily agree with that but I just don't know what to do. I do believe that her reputation is horrible!! Many people complain about her negative attitude, her rude comments etc. And I'm sure that if I go to the principal, my principal will definately know exactly what I'm talking about. But, I don't want to make things worse. I do want to be the bigger person. I also think that maybe she doesn't like me because we both worked for the same organization and I left with a bang, a party, hugs/kisses etc. from my co-workers and supervisors. But she feel like she was run out of there. Totally different experiences. But that still doesn't give people the right to make other people feel uncomfortable or say mean things. Not only that, she doesn't have the right to bad mouth "Head start teachers" right in front of me and my co-workers because, hello, I just left HS.
    I know I sound foolish but this is like the 3-4 incident around this girl. I don't think pregnancy has anything to do with a person's heart and attitude. I think some people are just ugly and mean for no reason. I'm just not like that. I don't get it.:confused:
     
  11. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

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    Feb 10, 2007

    You don't sound foolish. I know Exactly How You Feel!

    Pregnancy has it's own set of wildcards to hand a woman, believe me, but it isn't an excuse to be mean. Sounds like this teacher was mean before being pregnant anyway.

    The next time you're in a group of people and she bad-mouths HS teachers, you could look at her as if about to say something, then shake your head as if thinking, "It's just not worth it." Everyone will know what you mean, and you won't have escalated anything.
     
  12. January_Violet

    January_Violet Comrade

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    She must be the cousin of ALL of my co-workers. There may be one happy person there. The rest of them are simple __________ (Insert the B word here). I really don't like my school at all because of women like them, so I know what you mean. Most of the time it's best to say nothing. If you must, say what you have to say and move on, NEVER EVER argue.
     
  13. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Many times the best way to make a point is with a "question" or a simple comment. I might say to her, "You sound so unhappy." or..."Is there anything I can do to make you feel better about things? You sound so unhappy."
     
  14. teacher333

    teacher333 Devotee

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    Feb 11, 2007

    Just try to steer clear of the toxic ones - eventually, you find yourself being sucked into their webs! We have a speech teacher in our school who is the same way. She sets her sights on someone and that person is her target! She will do everything in her power, including bad mouthing the staff member to parents, Board members, the principal. I have learned to just ignore her when she tries to get me into a conversation like that, which ticks her off even more, I am sure (especially since her newest target is the teacher I share a classroom with!) We are all just waiting for her retirement in a year or so.
     
  15. teachingforlife

    teachingforlife Rookie

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    People like that are just unhappy people, and eventually they will learn that they can't treat other people that way. I used to work with someone who was the same way, and it was a lot easier to "kill her with kindness" so to speak. Eventually she got bored of me and moved on. Best of luck!!!
     
  16. Youngteacher226

    Youngteacher226 Enthusiast

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    Yes, I've just learned to ignore her. I've had interactions with her last week and today and I act like she's not even in the same room as I am. She's been trying to hold a coversation with me but I just keep it short and walk away. Not being rude, but showing that I don't wish to have dealings with her...and I'm sure she knows why. So thank you all for your advice. I just have to find a more permanent way to deal with her for the duration of the time I will be working there. And believe me, she's not the only witch in the school. Wish me luck.........
     
  17. KinderKatie

    KinderKatie Companion

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    I say just ignore her. You won't gain anything from responding so just ignore her. Chances are, everyone else is wondering why the heck she even brought it up to begin with. If you do want to respond, just say, "Hmm, that really hasn't been my experience." But then she will just have some snarky comment designed to try to embarrass you so thats why I said just ignore her in the first place. She will eventually shut up about it, hopefully. If not, she is the one who looks like a weirdo.

    P.S. Stay out of the faculty lounge.
     
  18. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    That's the only thing I disagree with.

    Don't let the negative ones win. Sit there, at a different table if you want, but don't let her keep you and the other positive influences out.
     
  19. teresaglass

    teresaglass Groupie

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    Make friends with the other teachers. It sounds to me that her reputation is lousy from what you say. She probably will not be there next year. Terry G.
     
  20. teachingforlife

    teachingforlife Rookie

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    So true, teresaglass! If her reputation is effected by her actions (and it probably is), she won't last long! Hang in there, it won't last that long. I agree that you should be the positive (and mature) example in the staff lounge. I would still go about my business as usual, and keep things short and sweet with her.
     
  21. KDS

    KDS Companion

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    are you sure youre not teaching at the school i just left?!?!?!?! I dont know what it is about that speech teacher...and as the other speech teacher...gives us a bad name!
    :eek:
     
  22. teacher333

    teacher333 Devotee

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    Someone once told me that when you change jobs, the same general personalities are there - just the names and faces change! Now that is a depressing thought - it means we can never get away from them!
     
  23. KDS

    KDS Companion

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    ok...now i am going to hide in the corner and cry........LOL

    but that also means that the incredible teachers are there everywhere...gives me a touch of hope
     
  24. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    If she is saying "....they don't do nothing", I wouldn't worry about any words that come out of her mouth. Maybe next year, you'll be her secret santa and you can get her a book on grammar!

    There are many teachers at my school who use terrible grammar, and I tend not to listen to their opinions as much as I do to people who are coherent.
     

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