Married People: When did you "know"?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Ms.H, Oct 24, 2009.

  1. Ms.H

    Ms.H Companion

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2007
    Messages:
    173
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 24, 2009

    Married/ engaged people, how long did it take you to be sure that you wanted to marry your fiancee/ spouse? Was it immediate? Did it take a few weeks/ months/years? Do you think that there is a certain amount of time in which you should probably know (for example, if you've been together for X amount of years and still aren't sure, you probably never will be)? I know everyone is different and all that...just curious about other people's experiences.
     
  2.  
  3. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2005
    Messages:
    3,591
    Likes Received:
    3

    Oct 24, 2009

    First date. I would not go out on a second date unless he was marriage material. I might have missed out on some good ones, but my husband is a great guy.
     
  4. MuggleBug

    MuggleBug Companion

    Joined:
    May 7, 2008
    Messages:
    169
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 24, 2009

    Within the first month of dating, for sure. He knew by our 2nd date...mine was maybe date #4 or 5. ;) We dated for 2 years before getting engaged, though.
     
  5. blindteacher

    blindteacher Cohort

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2009
    Messages:
    568
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 24, 2009

    I had the feeling she was going to be the woman I would marry all along.
     
  6. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2006
    Messages:
    7,946
    Likes Received:
    3

    Oct 24, 2009

    I was eighteen when we became a couple so that's young enough you're still not great at distinguishing from infatuation and love, but I was very emotionally attached immediately. A couple months in we were seriously talking in terms of our future together, and certainly there was no question about whether we would marry or not after several months of being together. But as the others have expressed, it felt right--like it was "it"--all along.
     
  7. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

    Joined:
    May 7, 2008
    Messages:
    3,544
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 24, 2009

    We met online.

    Dh said he knew the minute he saw my picture-it was a very soft portrait taken in a field of wildflowers. Cheeeesy.

    I knew after our second date, which was a month after our first date. It was so perfect, and when he went to hold my hand, it didn't feel weird (I have issues with touching other people).
     
  8. zoey'smom

    zoey'smom Cohort

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2009
    Messages:
    548
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 24, 2009

    When I saw how he was around my sister, I knew he was a keeper. My sister is 9 years older than me, but is mentally like a 10 year old. She still lives at home with my parents. He treated her s nice. I met my husband in May of 2003, we were engaged in July and married in June of 2004. I know with the other guys I dated I knew pretty quickly that they weren't the ones.
    We did get engaged pretty quickly, but we knew we wanted to start a family I was 30 and he was 39. We didn't want to wait too long before we started our family. Our first daughter was born in April 2005. I don't think I would have changed my mind if we waited longer.

    I had a friend who waited over 12 years to marry her boyfriend. Mainly because she was married before and her husband beat her. So I think she was scared of marriage, but when she finally did marry him she was so happy. Sadly her husband died this year from cancer. They had only been married a year. I think when the right one comes you know.
     
  9. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2006
    Messages:
    3,565
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 24, 2009

    My husband and I half-jokingly set a wedding date during our first couple of weeks knowing each other. We had an instant connection. We did wait 5 years to actually get married, though, due to me being skittish about divorce and wanting to Really Know. We've been together 16 years now and are having our 11th anniversary today :) Ya, I know, why am I online? He's putting the kids to bed ...
     
  10. GoldenPoppy

    GoldenPoppy Habitué

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2007
    Messages:
    775
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 24, 2009

    The first minute I saw him I knew he would be the man I spent the rest of my life with.
     
  11. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2009
    Messages:
    3,252
    Likes Received:
    455

    Oct 25, 2009

    Before we even started dating. We had been friends for awhile.
     
  12. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2005
    Messages:
    10,120
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 25, 2009

    I met my husband on my 25th birthday, three weeks after I left my ex-fiance. It took me probably about year to a year and half to know. It took me him 8 years to ask me to marry him. We were married this past July (I turned 34 Oct 7th).

    The first person I was engaged to, I thought right away he was the one I was going to marry (first time meeting him). I was only 21. I had never felt that way about the other two men I had dated prior.
     
  13. Anne wmcosuvamu

    Anne wmcosuvamu Companion

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2009
    Messages:
    103
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 25, 2009

    I dated my fiance for about a year, then he moved to Missouri (we were in Virginia) for law school. Somehow we stayed together, not by swearing we would, but it just happened. He came and visited me over X-mas break, and then we decided I would go out there right after the end of the spring semester.

    We went on a road trip from Missouri to the Grand Canyon, camped out, turned around, and drove right back. I hate being in a car -- the fact that I could spend 7 days, 24 hours/day with this guy made me realize he was the one. I came home from that trip and told my best friend, "I'm going to marry that man!"

    Now I live in Missouri and we're getting married in May. :wub:
     
  14. mrs100

    mrs100 Comrade

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2007
    Messages:
    350
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 25, 2009

    I knew within the first month. The biggest difference between my husband and past boyfriends was that all other boyfriends had something 'wrong' that I kept trying to look past. There was nothing about my husband that didn't fit with me or my family or my lifestyle. It also made a big difference to me that our families were very similar. Both sets of parents still married, both families enjoyed being together, things like that. He also has the same work ethic and life-long goals. Very important things!
     
  15. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    6,505
    Likes Received:
    1,417

    Oct 25, 2009

    We met one February. I was his trainer at work. Had our first date in April and set our wedding date at that time for Oct. So, we were married 6 months after our first date, 8 months after we met, and recently had our 26th anniversary. Now we are discussing retirement. I guess I'll keep him for a while longer.
     
  16. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    6,505
    Likes Received:
    1,417

    Oct 25, 2009

    I guess if a person needs to ask how to tell if this is the one...he may not be the one?
     
  17. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

    Joined:
    May 24, 2008
    Messages:
    3,513
    Likes Received:
    14

    Oct 25, 2009

    We met online.

    When I first saw him on our date I thought "I could really like this guy."

    Our 2nd date wasn't until 3 weeks after our first (I had to go back to campus and finish up at school). We talked on the phone a lot.

    He knew by our 2nd date, I knew by our 3rd.
     
  18. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2006
    Messages:
    9,154
    Likes Received:
    1

    Oct 25, 2009

    My husband proposed on our 3rd date (1.5 weeks after we met). I agreed within the month. We were married 7 months later. It was at a young age. I agree with the poster about the possibility that knowing and being infatuated might not have been as easily to separate BUT this is our 14th year of marriage.
     
  19. knitter63

    knitter63 Groupie

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2007
    Messages:
    1,396
    Likes Received:
    3

    Oct 25, 2009

    I knew after dating my husband for two weeks. It felt like nothing I had ever felt before, and I just wanted to be with him all the time. I missed him when we were apart. We dated two years before he proposed, and we got married,but I knew two weeks after dating him that he was the one.
    We have been married for 22 years.
     
  20. TennisPlayer

    TennisPlayer Cohort

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Messages:
    518
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 25, 2009

    I'm not a rushing kind of person so even though I knew probably within the first year of dating, I wanted to wait a few years to see what else we'd "go through" and see how things went. I would much rather spend a few years dating to make sure then rush into getting married for life. We dated for 4 years before marrying....3 years dating and 1 year of being engaged.
     
  21. GoehringTeaches

    GoehringTeaches Comrade

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2007
    Messages:
    311
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 25, 2009

    This is going to sound really bad; however, my first marriage was awful. I knew we were on the outs, and I first saw this new man but he was drunk! He was still cool to take shots with and then I saw him again at a friends pool. I watched his kids while he looked at the house across the street to buy. The friend told him he needed to find a good girl and settle down and get married. My first husband was sitting next to me but I knew that I belonged with this other guy. I just knew that I could/should be this new guys wife. Got divorced from the first guy, started dating the second guy, got married, and got pregnant all within a year! haha. I just knew with this one that it was right!
     
  22. leighbball

    leighbball Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2005
    Messages:
    7,507
    Likes Received:
    1

    Oct 25, 2009

    I knew how much I loved my now-dh (we were married in August after 6.5 years of dating!), but it took over a year of dating before I really knew he was the one. He had some growing up to do from when we first met, but I always knew he had the potential to be a great husband and father someday. Now he's proving me right! :)
     
  23. Special-t

    Special-t Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2008
    Messages:
    2,019
    Likes Received:
    19

    Oct 25, 2009

    We were married within a year of meeting, but we were both in our 30's so I think we were mature enough to know what we wanted rather quickly.
     
  24. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2006
    Messages:
    3,565
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 26, 2009

    Someone commented on things being "wrong" with the others, things they tried to overlook. I completely relate. There was always some THING that bugged me about the others, but I'd try to push it out of my attention because of LOVE. With my husband, I was shocked and amazed that no matter how well we got to know each other, there was never any THING that stuck me. Nothing to overlook.

    He's not perfect - no one is - but he's perfect for me.
     
  25. goopp

    goopp Devotee

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2006
    Messages:
    1,051
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 26, 2009

    A very smart lady told me once that I should marry my best friend. I was 14 at the time. I told all of my girlfriends that I would marry my now husband then...and although we were always best friends, we dated other people in high school/college. Through all those other dates, I knew we'd someday get married. I graduated college in May '83 and married him in June. We've been together for 26 years now and he's still my best friend.
     
  26. MissFroggy

    MissFroggy Aficionado

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,729
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 26, 2009

    Well, aside from the fact that legally, my partner and I can't get married... I knew I would want to marry her by the third day I knew her!

    I am hoping for the ring soon-- along with my rights!
     
  27. blindteacher

    blindteacher Cohort

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2009
    Messages:
    568
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 26, 2009

    You can legally get married in some states. I have a friend who got married to her partner in the state of Connecticut. Hopefully you will be able to marry in any state soon, but for now you can at least get married in some states. Unfortunately my friend's marriage isn't recognized in the state she lives in because of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), but hopefully her marriage, as well as yours when you become legally married, will be federally recognized soon.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. waterfall,
  2. MissyE
Total: 276 (members: 3, guests: 247, robots: 26)
test