Mama's Boys

Discussion in 'Debate & Marathon Threads Archive' started by Ms. I, May 31, 2011.

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  1. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Jun 1, 2011

    My husband wasn't a "Mama's Boy", but he's said more than once he thinks his mother was one of if not the best souls he's ever known. He has a great deal of respect for her. And I know he misses her and wonders what our lives would be like with her. We watched her pass from leukemia around eight years ago. I tend to her grave with flowers and such on a regular basis, but he doesn't often come with me. When we were talking about this around Mother's Day he said he realizes some people would find it odd that he doesn't visit the grave often (rare, actually) and he said, "But I don't think, in all honesty, a day goes by when I don't think about her." If she were still alive would they talk every day? No. But I know she'd be an important part of his life, which would have been wonderful. I loved her, too. Of course, I know that's not what you're talking about...so in short, no, not married to a Mama's Boy.
     
  2. TiffanyL

    TiffanyL Cohort

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    Jun 1, 2011

    THAT is a wonderful story!
     
  3. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    Jun 1, 2011

    I was with you up until this point. I understood your feelings about not wanting to be with a man who had to rely upon other family members making his decisions for him. I understood that you felt that was not a healthy relationship because the wife and husband should make decisions about their lives.
    However, I have to draw the line regarding your inability to let a man enjoy his relationship with his parents, just as other posters have said. I mean no disrespect,but, I disagree that a man who chats with his parents daily is less of a man.
     
  4. Marci07

    Marci07 Devotee

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    Jun 1, 2011

    Yes, this is a double standard and unfortunately these double standards work against women also. We are in 2011 but there are still a lot of these affecting us such as when a man having sex with many women vs. a woman having sex with many men. Anyhow, I can go on but I don't want to hijack this topic.
     
  5. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    Jun 2, 2011

    My husband is not super close to his mom, but he talks to her about once a week, and they keep up through Facebook. I would never get mad at him for spending time with her, but I'm a much more social person and often when she comes to visit I'm the one entertaining her.

    ETA: I talk to my mom almost everyday, though less as we've both gotten busy. Sometimes I'll call her three times in one day, sometimes she'll call me because she hasn't heard from me in a week. She is my best friend, and has been since I went to boarding school at 14. I moved back in with her during a year or so of college (to save money and get to know my stepdad better since I had only met him once when they got married and I was away at college) but am closer to my mom now than when I lived with her because I miss her now.
     
  6. 3Sons

    3Sons Connoisseur

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    Jun 2, 2011

    Sure. That doesn't mean we have to buy in and support them, though, does it? I think that's Cerek's point.

    Ms. I, I certainly understand your saying it can get to be too much. Of course it can. Actually, I suspect pretty much any behavioral trait could become intolerable when taken to extremes. Perhaps the issue isn't whether or not you (or anyone) would date a "momma's boy", but what that actually means. You mentioned a frequency of once a week being your limit, but I'm not sure you really mean that based on your later statements. I'm not sure you'd even object if it was every day if it was only a couple of minutes each time and not to request advice on trivial matters.

    One point you included is that it's a problem when it affects your relationship (assuming you mean, "in a negative way"). This is a great rule of thumb.

    FWIW, I don't have a particularly close relationship with my mom, but I'm not going to get into specifics. I talk to her maybe once or twice a month.
     
  7. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Jun 2, 2011

    I've talked to my mom & dad (seperate numbers) twice today, my aunt & visited my gma!!! Oh boy I hope the world won't end. Because I'll be talking to my MIL and who knows after that.
     
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