Long Venting Angry Post

Discussion in 'General Education' started by PinkCupcake, Nov 17, 2013.

  1. PinkCupcake

    PinkCupcake Cohort

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    Nov 17, 2013

    For the first time, I'm not looking forward to school tomorrow. I'll try to give as much details without being too lengthy and revealing too much.
    My coworker had a student in her class who is a major discipline problem. He doesn't listen, runs out of class, throws tantrums, disrupts other classrooms, etc. Anything you can imagine as being the worst case scenario with a behavior problem this student does. Sometimes their classroom door would have to be locked to keep the student out when he ran. Her students didn't feel safe. She didn't get the support she needed from administration. She'd be stressed and crying all the time. My coworker was told her anger is what sets him off. Anyone at school who's seen this kid knows he's got other issues and the problem is with himself.
    Fast forward to Wednesday of last week; the assistant principal walks into my room that morning. She informs me of the principals solution to my coworkers problem. Her challenge student will now become my challenge student. A hundred thoughts instantly run through my head. Neither myself nor my coworker were informed of any decision or possible changes. The AP went on to say there was no official decision made, and the P could change her mind. To top everything off I wasn't supposed to say anything to my coworker. I'm not sure the AP was supposed to tell me anything either. I hear nothing from my principal personally.
    Wednesday afternoon rolls around and our counselor comes into my room. The disruptive student was removed from his classroom due to behavior. He spent time in the office that morning. The P called the counselor to inform me another solution. The student is going to spend time in my room that afternoon. After some back and forth the student stayed where he was since his behavior improved. I still have heard nothing from my principal personally.
    Friday morning comes, and I see my P twice in the hallway. I get no response after saying good morning. Shortly after announcements the AP comes into my room again and informs me I'm getting the disruptive student put in my class permanently. My new student and I quickly became the talk of school that afternoon. To put it nicely I'm highly upset over the situation. I was honest with the AP when I told her I felt like I'm getting a crap end of the deal for being a good teacher. My class knew something was off that day and bless their hearts they were on their best behavior Friday afternoon. I had to step out of my room because I'd already built up anxiety to the point of crying. Thankfully I work with some amazing teachers and my class was covered for a few minutes while I calmed myself down.

    I feel both blindsided and slapped in the face. I understand my P was out a lot this week due to meetings, but to not have a face to face with one of your teachers is ridiculous to me. I've spent so much time building a community with my students and feel that's now being taken away from them. Every time there's a disruption their learning time is wasted. The problem hasn't been fixed it's just been moved to a new location. This student makes others feel unsafe. I don't feel it's fair to me or my students. I had so much to look forward to with the group I have this year, and now I just feel defeated and punished. I don't know how I'm going to make it through tomorrow or the rest of the year.
     
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  3. Go Blue!

    Go Blue! Connoisseur

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    Nov 17, 2013

    I'm sorry to hear this.:( I really don't know what you can do in regards to having the child placed in your class since it seems that you work with Admin who makes these types of decisions without consulting teachers.

    I would say that for your own sake, I would document everything this child does and give weekly reports to the child's parents and Admin. Depending on your relationship with Admin and the level of "value" they place on you; I MIGHT suggest that you should let your displeasure be known in a professional manner. I know at my school, there are certain teachers that Admin genuinely likes and wants to keep happy so they are more likely to try to find ways quell that person's displeasure.

    Honestly, when I taught MS, this was VERY common with Admin just switching kids around and rearranging rosters ALL throughout the year to try to improve behavior problems. It rarely worked because as you mentioned, it does not address the child's behavior issues unless the teacher really is at fault there (which is rare).

    Unfortunately, teaching is a job where you have no leverage in this kind of situation. If your boss asks you to take on an extra workload or responsibility, you cannot expect to get anything back (extra compensation, an easier project next quarter, promotion) unless it has already been agreed upon (you coach this sport, we will pay you this amount).
     
  4. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Nov 17, 2013

    That sucks.

    Are there any behavior specialists in your district? Is this child seeing any sort of counselor or therapist?
     
  5. agdamity

    agdamity Fanatic

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    Nov 17, 2013

    I'm sorry. I can relate to feeling punished as I'm usually the one on my grade level to get the behavior problem students because I can handle them. Just remember that sometimes a change in environment does help. You might not have the same problems the other teacher has.
     
  6. PinkCupcake

    PinkCupcake Cohort

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    Nov 17, 2013

    The mom of this child is not known to be the most responsible or supportive. The ironic part is we have a BA unit at our school. The BA teacher and I attend the same church and she's already told me she's got my back. I guess there's some consolation. I never told many people but almost a couple of years ago now I went through a period where I got extreme anxiety. Now I'm concerned everything I fought so hard to overcome is going to come crashing back on me. This situation has made me lost some respect for my Admin.
     
  7. MissScrimmage

    MissScrimmage Aficionado

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    Nov 17, 2013

    I have never heard of kids being moved between classes during the year. A new environment does wonders for some kids. I have a student this year that came with a thick file from another school... he's been as good as gold for me. This is not always the case. Document everything and ask your resource team for suggestions of strategies that work with this student.
     
  8. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    Nov 17, 2013

    I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are going through all this. I know how important classroom community is and how delicate it can be sometimes to maintain. I think there definitely should have been some kind of meeting with you before that change was made.
     
  9. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    Nov 17, 2013

    Sometimes a different environment does make a difference. I have a student in my room who is new to my school, and she has been an absolute delight this year, model student, etc. At the parent teacher conference, when I laid out the agenda (I always talk about the four content areas, then behavior, then leave time for questions) I could tell that mom was really tense about the behavior... when we got to behavior, mom told me that this girl had been an absolute disaster behaviorally last year, with office referrals, even possible suspensions... you could have knocked me over with a feather, because I never would have guessed that about this student in a million years.
     
  10. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Nov 17, 2013

    Set limits. Document everything. Set consequences. Ask for help. Keep parents and child study and administration in the loop frequently on how things are going. Start paperwork for child study eval if things are sketchy.
     
  11. Loveslabs

    Loveslabs Companion

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    Nov 17, 2013

    I have had several students transferred into my room mid year for various reasons. I understand how you feel. Try to just relax and calm down so your anxiety doesn't upset the whole class. Expect that the child will be fine. Don't let on you know about his past. Each day is a fresh day, and there is always hope the child will react differently with you. I will keep you in my prayers and send some positive thoughts your way.
     
  12. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    Nov 17, 2013

    I'm very sorry for your situation, PinkCupcake.

    Moving "problem kids" to different classrooms is a common practice in many schools and, unfortunately, it is also just part of the job. Some years you will have great kids, some years, you will have 1 or 2 or a few that aren't so great.

    From the admin standpoint, I can understand the reason behind the move. What else could they really do for the child without sending him to a completely different school, which may not be feasible depending on the home location and situation. While it may not be the best solution possible, it may well have been the best solution available to admin.

    Having said that, though, the P absolutely should have met with you personally to inform you of the pending decision and discuss the situation with you before the move was made. NOT meeting with you and getting your feedback on the issue very UN-professional.

    Again, I'm very sorry for your situation, but maybe the new room - or your approach to the behavior (or both) - will help improve the behavior.

    We had a serious "problem child" at a school where I taught as well. I never had the student in my regular class, but I did have him when I subbed for the other teachers. They ALL had problems with him and I did too (somewhat). Admin had a policy in place for dealing with the behavior and, while I respected their decision, I didn't completely agree with it because I knew the kid was "playing the system" just to get what he wanted much of the time.

    So I started taking a completely different approach to his behavior when I had to deal with it. I still kept my responses within the established policy, but my attitude and reactions towards his behavior was a lot different than what he was used to getting. Basically, once he saw I wouldn't put up with him just acting out to be acting out, he stopped doing it and we ended up getting along just fine. He DID have some legitimate behavior issues and there were still times when his behavior did get out of control, but not nearly as often as with some of the other teachers.

    Hopefully, you might be able to find a different approach that works for you AND him as well.
     
  13. PinkCupcake

    PinkCupcake Cohort

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    Nov 17, 2013

    I just checked school email and the AP sent me a message Friday afternoon. P wants us to meet this week when we both have time. I'll update this week and try to enjoy what's left of my Sunday. Thanks for listening everyone.
     
  14. FarFromHome

    FarFromHome Connoisseur

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    Nov 17, 2013


    I agree! I once had a student transfer from another school mid-year. He had attended our school the year before and had awful behavior problems. Everyone warned me about him. He was put into my room even though I already had 4 more students than the other classes. Well, he was amazing with me! He never had a single problem with me all year (although he did have a few problems when he was in the special ed room).

    I would suggest trying to start new with him. Maybe he'll do better in the new environment. If not, just document everything and take advantage of any help you can get.
     
  15. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    Nov 17, 2013

    As the others have suggested document everything and pray that he well behave for you!
     
  16. SouthernBuckeye

    SouthernBuckeye Companion

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    Nov 17, 2013

    I understand how you feel. One of the reasons why I just resigned is that regular ed teachers are pushing for some of the IEP students to have a change of placement to resource (which is my class) because of their behavior problems. It's an IEP team decision which means it wouldn't happen, but I'm not the behavior police and I hate having behavior problem kids half the day. I recommend just continuing to document, and that will help you in the future if anything happens. Good luck!
     
  17. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    Nov 17, 2013

    Without sounding uncaring ( I'm not...have been in your shoes)...welcome to the world of public school in the year 2013.

    I have some experience teaching in public schools...my first job was in 1974...and I can attest to the fact that the way problem students are handled has changed dramatically in the ensuing years. We don't have the consequences that used to be available to us. Instead of kicking the child out, we now have to spend years pyschologically testing and catering to the behaviors...to the detriment of the children who want to learn.

    Academically, we now get to teach only what the state tells us to teach...not topics that may be interesting to the problem children, and therefore keep the problems at bay.

    So, I, m sorry you are experiencing this situation. I hope the change in placement works out to be a positive change.
     
  18. Loveslabs

    Loveslabs Companion

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    Nov 17, 2013

    Don't forget the power of peer pressure. Your well behaved class may be enough pressure for the boy to want to behave in order to fit in with the class. Maybe some of your students, or you, will help him see how to act in your room.
     
  19. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    Nov 17, 2013

    This is a compliment to you, but believe me, if I was in this situation, I would NOT be happy one bit. I don't know what the procedures are for a child like this in your state, but I would document, document, document. When I have been put in situations like this, I make sure that I don't stay quietly in my room letting the child drive me bananas.

    I am not obnoxious about it, but I frequently let the P, VP and administrators know what's going on. I often wrote up disciplinary forms on the child, called home, reached out to the guidance counselor, etc.

    I'm not one to do this, but if you feel comfortable you might consider reaching out to your Union (assuming your state has one).

    But yes, this situation does indeed suck and I feel for you :(

    Maybe the P sees something in your that will speak to the child and help them improve their behavior. A couple years ago, I had two children in my classroom that honestly made me consider quitting teaching. Both had E.D. and would physically, verbally and sexually harass other children in my class. They remained in my classroom the entire school year.

    I hated it, but it made me a stronger teacher, showed my administration that I'm made of tough stuff and I know I made a difference in their lives because they both go out of their way to stop by my classroom a couple times a week to say hello and hug me. Admittedly I am glad they're gone, but in the long run, perhaps my bit of teacherly kindness helped set them on a better path, at least school wise.
     
  20. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Nov 17, 2013

    I am in the same situation right now. When kids can't be handled by other teachers they get put into another classroom. It just so happens that it's usually MY classroom! Lucky me! It is a difficult situation to say the least. I hope you get the support you need.
     
  21. orangepurple

    orangepurple Companion

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    Nov 17, 2013

    Sometimes, the fresh start works…but more often, not really! I have never had a heads up from an administrator about the kids coming my way, although often the other teacher will tell me. Like others, I would say DOCUMENT everything. Sometimes that is what admin needs in order to justify moving child to another kind of school or placement, documentation that switching teachers didn't help.
     
  22. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Nov 17, 2013

    My GS can be a handful. When he is respected and treated fairly, he can be a wonderful child.
     
  23. GemStone

    GemStone Habitué

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    Nov 17, 2013

    So, his behaviors are not his fault?

    Does he show respect and fairness to teachers and students who want to learn when he's being "a handful?"
     
  24. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Gemstones, your comment is appropriate. In my GS case, his behavior is because of ADHD. No, he does not show fairness and respect when he is a handful, that is why he is on a 504. As a parent, I want the teachers to know what will work best with him. That is why I suggested that the OP's student may react differently when treated differently.
     
  25. PinkCupcake

    PinkCupcake Cohort

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    Nov 18, 2013

    Met with my P today and not much was said about the switch. The student currently has a daily individual behavior chart. Apparently he also has documentation started that someone will discuss with me this week.
     
  26. yellowdaisies

    yellowdaisies Fanatic

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    Nov 18, 2013

    :hugs: I'm so sorry about this situation... I just wanted to remind you of an old saying, and one that gets used at my school quite frequently because we have many kids like the one you're talking about... "The squeaky wheel gets the grease." DON'T suffer in silence. I agree with others - document, document, document!

    Did the student start today? How did everything go?
     
  27. PinkCupcake

    PinkCupcake Cohort

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    He started Friday morning. So far it's been relatively calm. I'm taking it day by day.
     
  28. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Nov 18, 2013

    If you can incorporate him into your classroom aura of awesomeness, maybe he'll try to be part of the community? Hoping for the best in this situation.
     
  29. Ted

    Ted Habitué

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    Nov 18, 2013

    I think perhaps getting to know him personally. Praising even the TINIEST thing he does well...get him to know that you genuinely care about him... these things can't hurt. :)
     
  30. Goingback

    Goingback Rookie

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    Nov 19, 2013

    This reminded me of a situation I had last year. I just strolled down memory lane through all of the massive number of emails we shared with mom. It was a day to day thing....good days and then some not so great days. We did document everything. Our behavior specialist told mom that I had excellent classroom management and that she had never seen me so shaken as I was one afternoon. The disrespect that I was apparently supposed to endure from this child was incredible. At one point I was told that I would just have to love him the way he was. I told mom absolutely not, not fair to me but more importantly not fair to the other students in my classroom. Getting everyone involved and letting mom know how serious we all were is the only thing that made a difference. I feel for you and hope things work out for you.
     
  31. PinkCupcake

    PinkCupcake Cohort

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    Almost a week with the new student, and so far so good. It hasn't been perfect, but it hasn't been the worst either. What's the most difficult at this point is someone telling me a new piece of information everyday. My P says we'll have a sit down tomorrow to discuss everything.
     
  32. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    If I didn't see that you lived in Texas I would have thought you worked at my school :lol: This happens all the time to me. It is really a feather in your cap though if you can if you can give this kid what he needs and maintain a good environment for the new kid and the rest of your class.
     
  33. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Nov 21, 2013

    I'm impressed as well, but certainly not with the flow of information you're getting. That would still have me angry. Thankfully, you obviously aren't taking that frustration out on the student, and he isn't taking too much out on you and the rest of his class.
     

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