Life decisions... so hard at times...

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Tired Teacher, Nov 10, 2019.

  1. Tired Teacher

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    Nov 10, 2019

    For a few years, I have asked myself how much longer, a year or 2 that I can survive the system. If I had not been given a cushy job this yr, last yr probably would have been my last. If I was to work next year, I'd be back in the classroom.
    I have 0 debt, money in the bank, house pd off, new car paid off, retirement funds, and as of an hour ago, the promise of someone who has always kept his word to me that he'd make sure I was always taken care of. He even offered me $ to quit. I am not even 60 yet, but it is approaching.
    He has a very nice mother in law apt I could live in free if I ever had something so expensive happen that I needed to sell my house. ( That'd give me more $.) I can't see that happening for quite a few yrs. ( If I live longer than expected.)
    So what is my problem? I am scared of running out of $. I know I will have to live more frugally than I do now. I can do that by cooking and going out less. At this point in my life, time is more valuable than $ and I really do not have a lot of free time to cook...sometimes I need to get on here and just veg out......At this point, if I want, I can help anyone I want to that needs it. ( Mostly old friends who fell on hard times..Friends who helped me through hard times......)
    I can travel when I want and not worry about $. If I don't have an income, I know I'd be way more cautious about traveling and helping people in need. I do not look forward to not being able to help someone who asks or has a need.
    How much $$ is enough? Will it ever be enough? Anyone who has read the Bible probably remembers the story of the man who saved until he had everything and died that night.
    I think a part of it stems from when I ended up single w/kids. Going from 2 incomes to 1 was a disaster! I had more bills than income. It was a really hard time in my life. I don't ever want to go through that again. You would think by now, I'd be 100% sure at quitting at the end of this yr, but my mind is not there. I know I have to make up my own mind and set it. I figured it might help just to type this. Any assurances or advice are appreciated.
     
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  3. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

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    Nov 10, 2019

    Sounds like you have already made up your mind. You just need convincing. I think you should retire early. You DON’T want to work your whole life until you’re too old to do anything in retirement. I don’t understand this idea of people wanting to retire in their mid to late sixties if they can retire comfortably much sooner than that. At that point, you have a couple of decades left and your health could already be failing.

    Don’t take a chance with that happening. Do what makes YOU happy and relish in that fact that you are financially capable of retiring right now! Do it!

    You’ll thank yourself later once you get up and realize you don’t ever have to work again.

    Cheers, my friend.
     
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  4. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    Nov 11, 2019

    I would not quit working until I had guaranteed income coming in or a huge savings account to support my living without living like a pauper, insurance and medical expenses, and some secure job to go back to if I had to. I also never depend on another who says that they will provide for me because you never know what may happen to or with that person. So, unless you can really be comfortable retiring early, I say don't do it.

    Changing jobs might be the best option, but all jobs have their pros and cons.
     
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  5. Tired Teacher

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    Nov 11, 2019

    I have been leaning heavily towards your thoughts for a few yrs. I am already tired, but in decent health. I think the reason people wait is for more financial security. None of us know how much is enough.
    Medicare does not kick in until 62. I have enough quarters in to collect SS too. But, I'd have to wait to 67 to get it.
    I know I can't keep up the pace that much longer. Kids are showing up w/ worse problems every yr. It seems w/ the lack of discipline at home and school. I am still really leaning towards it, but I am scared for some reason.
    I won't miss getting up in the mornings and I will enjoy getting to spend time w/ friends who were able to retire young. I could spend more time w/ family too that are very supportive people. Yesterday just really shocked me when I got so much encouragement and offer to make it happen. As I look at the pros, it is giving me the push to just "do it." :) Thanks!
     
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  6. Tired Teacher

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    Nov 11, 2019

    I think this maybe a part of the issue too. I spent many yrs of my life where I was not the "major bread winner." I have been for a good while now. You never do really know what is going to happen. I guess that is just life.
    Not knowing is what makes big life decisions so hard for me.
    I have gotten pretty good at making my own life decisions over the years that I have been "on my own."
    I have gone against advice that smart people I love have told me over these years at times and made some big decisions that were right for me. ( Their advice had seemed smart at the time, but I stuck with my gut feeling.) Like being told to move and accept another job offer 2x, selling a house, amongst many other things. ( It turned out I was better off staying put in the job and building a smaller house.) I can see that clearly now.
    I think maybe cus I screwed up so much in my youth, trusting my own decisions can be hard. Also, that is why ones like this are so hard. I am processing this whole idea on here. I need to make a list of pros and cons.
    I think I need to remind myself to trust my instincts. It's just my instincts do pull me both ways right now.
     
  7. socalenglish

    socalenglish Rookie

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    Nov 11, 2019

    I have been in similar shoes.

    My best advice is to make a financial plan. How much do you need to live on based upon your history over the past year or so?

    If you stop earning a paycheck, how will you fund your lifestyle?

    What about unexpected expenditures such as replacing a car, etc?

    I put myself through this exercise a few years ago, and with the help of a financial planner, essentially put a lot, but not all, of my assets into annuities, so that I have some kind of guaranteed income every month. I deferred getting Social Security until age 66.

    I am okay financially. No big shopping sprees, no trips to Europe, and a lot bargain shopping for food, etc., but I am happy.

    I loved teaching, but it became less enjoyable because of issues such as parents who blamed me when their child failed a test, student plagiarism, etc. Once I made the decision to retire, I had to tough it out for a few years, but no regrets.

    It’s a lot to consider. Best of luck!
     
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  8. Tired Teacher

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    Nov 11, 2019

    You gave me an idea that I think will help me cement my idea 1 way or another. I am going to make an appointment w/ a financial planner soon. It is something I have thought about for a couple of yrs now and never did. I have 2 cars and 1 is brand new. The other is very reliable for now. The new 1 was $ poorly spent, but it is a long story! It just sits in a garage most of the time. I drive it once in awhile to keep the battery good, but I know...there is always something unexpected. .
    I know some of the things I am going to have to give up. 1. Traveling, but I have travelled more than enough in my life and really don't feel the need to anymore. I've been to Europe and many other places around the world. 2. Eating out- The way things are now, I usually go out w/ friends for dinner 4 nights per wk. I do it for time sake. If I cooked at home, people would come here instead. I actually miss having time to cook like I used to before the demands of work got to be so time consuming. I think I'd have fun bargain hunting shopping. Maybe not so much though if I had to. :(
    I am going to make an appt this week. Thanks! :)
    PS I am OK w/ not buying clothes probably for the rest of my life. ( Other than those things we wear out. ) :) I think I am going to be a lot happier too.
     
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  9. socalenglish

    socalenglish Rookie

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    Nov 11, 2019

    I think you are well on the way to making a good decision!

    Let us know what happens,
     
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  10. socalenglish

    socalenglish Rookie

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    Nov 11, 2019

    BTW

    The best part about not going to work every day is that I really don’t need those clothes now!
     
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  11. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

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    Nov 11, 2019

    Seriously, make an appointment with a financial planner. I am SO glad I did as I have a bound folder with a mapped out plan to early retirement. I also found out about the many different tax-deferred and tax-free investment vehicles out there and just how much per month, for example, I need to invest to retire a multimillionaire (at least $3M). I was elated when this was relayed to me due to the fact that I invest MUCH more ($3,500-$5,000/month) than what was suggested ($2,333/month) and so I should retire closer to $7-10M!!! This means that I should make like $280,000/year minimally (or $23,333.33/month) in retirement and only *some* of it will be taxed! :D

    This is *significant* because I will be making what superintendents/doctors/lawyers make in California. futuremathsprof is going to be living the life and laughing all the way to the bank! I can’t wait since I fully plan to buy expensive cars, designer clothing, vacation every single month, and eat out for every single meal in the best restaurants! Best of luck to us both, haha!!! Go forth and attain your dreams. :)
     
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  12. a2z

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    Nov 12, 2019

    I say remove the gut and do the math without the other person providing for you. Make sure you put in for worst case medical costs each year (out of pocket max costs) because, sadly, this is the age that people start seeing major medical problems cropping up. I've know so many people around 50ish start with major medical issues. (Then there is the group that never has any.)

    When you made your choice in job changes, what made it not worth it? Was it financially not worth it because you overbought a house or because of non-financial reasons that added to it being not a good decision. (I don't want an answer. I'm just asking the question because sometimes it is the rest of life that makes us make bad financial decisions or an unseen circumstance. For example, buying a bigger house and then having a huge downturn in the market was something that most wouldn't see.)
     
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  13. a2z

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    Nov 12, 2019

    I wouldn't count on this happening. Sure they may come over once a week, but I highly doubt they will want to come over to your house to eat 4 times a week. On top of that, cooking for 4 becomes expensive especially if you want to vary the options for them. Also, do they eat out just for time's sake or do they do it for the social aspects too? You would be hard pressed to push your "new lifestyle" on them.

    I see your plan as very over ambitious. Changing spending habits and lifestyles sounds easy, but the truth is, it is not.

    I suggest start trying to figure out how to cut down to that meager living now. Sure, you may have to cook a big meal on the weekend to eat off of all week, or figure out how to do a cook/freeze for the month to have dinners ready at home in the evening, but if you can't cut before you quit, you won't be able to cut later.
     
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  14. Tired Teacher

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    Nov 16, 2019 at 1:37 PM

    Oh, I probably was not clear. I made my own decision to downsize/ sell bigger place (which was a wonderful benefit for me- despite advice to hang on to it...) and building a smaller place w/ inexpensive overhead. The small place ended up increasing in value a lot..
    I did not switch to a job that seemed more favorable 2x because my gut told me tenure and seniority could likely become an issue. Both times it likely would have been because the next yr, that position did not exist. ( Low enrollment) I had a couple friends who got really messed up because that happened to them.
    I know you are right to go w/ the math. I am meeting w/ a financial planner ( have to travel to get there) next month. I think going with my gut, has given me more confidence in decision making.
    Going with my feelings a lot of times includes things I see as probabilities and the way the economy seems to be going amongst other things. But, you are right. The math is important. The part that drives me crazy is we never know how long we will live and how much is enough! :) Risk of retiring, I guess, for everyone who is not filthy rich. :)
     
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  15. a2z

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    Nov 16, 2019 at 1:49 PM

    This is so true.

    While I don't know how much I will need because I don't know what costs will rise or fall over the years or how my health may impact my living expense, I do know that typically things get more expensive. So, if you retire early and live like a pauper now, most likely later will be much worse. It seems to me that you plan to really cut back in order to retire. From what I know from others who have retired, unless you have a fair amount of money to be comfortable and be able to do things, retirement is not fun, especially if everyone else you know has the money to go do things. In many cases you end up being left behind because the group keeps going out and building the relationships and you get left behind.

    Maybe a semi-retirement is the best way to be. Have a job to make some money but not one that takes over your life.
     
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  16. Tired Teacher

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    Nov 16, 2019 at 2:02 PM

    Yes, this is very true. Dinners are both social and time saving. I'd guess they'd be here 1x a week...not 4. Also, we are all pretty generous. If 1 person takes the time to cook for others, we take that person out the next time. :)
    Changing spending habits is very hard. I don't blow a ton of $$ now ( I used to), but I do have places I'd feel the need to cut way back on. I did something this wk purposefully to save $ and did feel kind of bad about it at 1st.
    An old friend of mine needed $ to get her car fixed and I told her I couldn't afford it. Afterwards, I thought of it a bit differently which helps. I think she can afford it if she does somethings differently. I am guessing she'll have it fixed by next month and if not, she has a husband w/ a car. He doesn't make a ton of $, but enough that they get by. I think it may be the hardest part of retiring is not being there to help people out when needed. So I have to change my attitude on the importance of helping people out. I know..I probably lean towards being an enabler to certain older friends...lol I don't give $ to drunks anymore :) , but still have some old friends that helped me a lot when I was younger that it is hard not to help. I need to spend the rest of the yr sticking w/ the plan of letting them figure it out.
     
  17. Tired Teacher

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    Nov 16, 2019 at 2:10 PM

    I am beginning to think this might be the way to go. I have an MA in another field that pays decent. I could do it part time. I don't want to....lol I just want to be done w/ working, but even some of my fam is encouraging me to work part time for the social aspect. Maybe after a yr off of resting, this may look more appealing. :) Part time would be better because lately I have been feeling my life is mostly work.
     
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  18. a2z

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    Nov 16, 2019 at 2:12 PM

    I'd be concerned at your age to take a year off and then try to get in a field you weren't in for a long time. It is easier to get a job when you have a job.
     
  19. Tired Teacher

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    Nov 16, 2019 at 2:21 PM

    Oh, the good news! There are tons of jobs open here for counselors. They are constantly having to recruit out of state. People quit all of the time because they are dealing w/ CEO's who are not. ( Very different values....) We have a much higher pop of people w/ mental health probs here than kids. I am pretty sure I could get a job in a month at an agency. I am pretty sure it would not be much fun too! :)
     
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2019 at 2:29 PM
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  20. Tired Teacher

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    Nov 16, 2019 at 2:25 PM

    Doing it...going up next month...fingers crossed! :) He'll tell me: You're good to go! :)
     
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  21. Missy

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    Nov 16, 2019 at 4:28 PM

    Good luck! Our financial planner has been a big help, and I am retiring this year.
     
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  22. Tired Teacher

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    Nov 16, 2019 at 4:30 PM

    Thank you!!! WOOOOOOHOOOOOOO! ( for you!) Hopefully, for me too! :)
     
  23. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

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    Nov 17, 2019 at 10:20 AM

    Yay!!! Excellent news, haha!
     
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  24. futuremathsprof

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    Nov 17, 2019 at 10:21 AM

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  25. Tired Teacher

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    Nov 17, 2019 at 11:49 AM

    Future Math, Don't worry! I lost BIG and fairly quickly the 1st time I gambled in my 20's. I am really glad I did too. I started thinking of things I needed that I could have bought w/ that $$. It helped me immensely to stay away from that lifestyle.
    I watched many friends get addicted to it when reservations started opening casinos. Others lived close to Vegas. I saw couples break up over gambling. Even though I have a few sidekicks who vacation in Vegas now, I don't go. I know I'd be tempted to play if I did.
    Soooooooo gambling will not be something I have to give up. :)
     
  26. a2z

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    Nov 17, 2019 at 12:13 PM

    I do believe future was just reporting a post that doesn't follow the guidelines of this forum.
     
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  27. Tired Teacher

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    Nov 17, 2019 at 12:57 PM

    Yes, I figured that out too. I was just kind of laughing thinking Future may be thinking, OH! Crap! She's going to blow her retirement $$$, gambling!. :) My thinking: When I was young, I was irresponsible w/ $$. My son grew up knowing that, but I changed a long time ago. I don't think that change ever really was fully understood by him. ( So that is what he might have thought!) :)
    The last time teachers voted to strike here, my son heard about it while on a business trip. He called me and told me not to worry! :) He had a ton of $$ stashed and he'd help me w/ whatever I needed not having a paycheck. He was really concerned because he didn't realize I have my own stash now. :) It was sweet, but the thought of it all is funny to me how your kids remember what you were like when they lived w/ you. Then yrs pass and they don't always understand that you grew up over the yrs. I had them real young, and even though I was irresponsible, they always had what they needed.
     

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