let down again..ugh

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Lindsnh, Dec 19, 2010.

  1. Lindsnh

    Lindsnh Companion

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    Dec 19, 2010

    Once again I have set myself up to get hurt again. I met a guy and I thought things were going great. We went out a few times, have been texting and talking. Now the communication has stopped. I sent him a message saying "I hope you had a good day at work, talk to you soon" . He replied back "I am glad you had a good day at work" (this shows he just scanned the text since he didn't read it correctly). Then he said "I am sick, trying to get better," so "I said I hope you feel better, get some rest". He lives in a diffrent town about 2 hrs away so its not like I can just hop in my car to go take him some juice or something and this was 9 at night. Well since then I have not heard a thing from him...and its been 2 weeks. I know he is better b/c he has been on Facebook. I am so sick of men leading me on, or making me think they like me when they don't. I was starting to really like him too.

    I was in an 8 year realtionship and it took me 2 years to get back out there b/c my self esteem was so low. Now that I have put my self out there 3 times now. I have had this type of thing happen.(read older posts)

    What is wrong with me? I have never had must confidence and this only makes it worse.

    I am almost 32 and feel so hopeless in love. When you work with all females and live in a small town its hard to meet new guys. I only met this guy b/c he works with my friends brother 2 hrs away.

    People tell me that I need to be more of a bit*h to get a guy...What do you all think?
     
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  3. AMK

    AMK Aficionado

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    Dec 19, 2010

    Don't be a b!tch be the person you are. I had a lot of 1st dates before I met my DH. If he doesn't like you then he isn't worth it and there is someone waiting to meet you.
     
  4. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    Dec 19, 2010

    I dated a lot before I met my husband.

    When I believed whole-heartedly, "ya know, I don't need anyone to make me happy, I AM happy," my husband entered my life.
     
  5. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Dec 19, 2010

    I totally agree that it's extremely hard to find a genuinely good guy. Many men are fickled & don't know what they want. They want their cake & eat it too. I see the types of BFs & husbands many women out there have & I'D BE HAPPIER BEING ALONE RATHER THAN PUTTING UP WITH THAT!

    But don't ever change yourself or what you stand for just to get a guy. It's like how they say nice guys finish last. But I have no idea why they should. I'll take a nice guy any day over all these bad, pompous, pretty boys that a lot of women seem to like.

    I'm in my 30s too & honestly, if I have to stay alone, I'd rather stay alone if I can't find a guy who meets my standards. I'm sure my parents wonder if I'll ever marry. The whole excuse about times being different may be true to some degree, but that doesn't mean I settle for things just because the times are different.
     
  6. Marci07

    Marci07 Devotee

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    Dec 19, 2010

    You don't have to be a bit*h but you do have to create a life where you don't need men. I went through a phase when I was really a bit*h and didn't treat men that well. If they didn't meet my expectations they would be out the door. Amazingly, I atracted men more when I was like that. I guess they were atracted to my overly confident self. This would back fire because they would get tired of my demands and/or nobody would be good enough in my eyes.

    Finally, I decided to stay away from men for 2 entire years so I could build a life where I didn't need them. It was hard because I was used to having someone around but I did it and I learned so much. I learned to depend on myself more and to rely on myself for my happiness and not on my mate. Those were the hardest years but with the most growth and it was well worth it.

    Then I met my husband and I can see how I don't rely on him for my happiness and I enjoy the relationship even more. So being a bit*h can bakcfire but you do have to have enough confidence to feel good about yourself with or without a man.
     
  7. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Dec 19, 2010

    I don't think it's a sign that there's anything wrong with you if a guy just decided he's not interested. There are like 3 billion guys on this planet and I'm only interested in one of them. That doesn't mean that the other 2,999,999,999 guys are terrible, awful people. It just means that I'm looking for something different.

    People can spot desperation and baggage miles away. You need to get rid of both before you worry about finding someone to be with.

    :hugs:
     
  8. TeacherApr

    TeacherApr Groupie

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    Dec 19, 2010

    {{{hugs}}} I know exactly how you are feeling! A 10 month long distance relationship just ended for me and I am having a horrible time trying to get over it. All I want to do is curl up and cry all day and night long. We were discussing living together and marriage.....

    I have the same questions as you do. Unfortunately, I don't have the answers especially since the man I was with was the best one I had EVER dated but it was my trust issues that ended the relationship.... = (
     
  9. Marci07

    Marci07 Devotee

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    Dec 19, 2010

    I felt this way about a guy. He couldn't be more perfect and there were talks about marriage. We too had some trust issues and we ended up breaking up. It took me forever to get over it but I am so cofident now that he was just not the right fit for me. You'll see it one day. Trust me.;)
     
  10. Marci07

    Marci07 Devotee

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    Dec 19, 2010

    Soooo true!!!!!
     
  11. TeacherApr

    TeacherApr Groupie

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    Dec 19, 2010

    Thanks except it's my fault.....I'm hoping we can heal this but thanks.
     
  12. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    Dec 19, 2010

    I am not into self-help books at all, but I really liked "He's Just Not That Into You." The major point of the book is that guys are pretty straight forward. If he likes you, he will go out of his way (within reason) to see you again or contact you. If he is not calling you or making plans in a reasonable time after the last date, he doesn't really like you. Find someone else. I know it is straight forward and obvious but it just made me stop working so hard at dating.
     
  13. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    Dec 19, 2010

    I, too, think it's a fabulous book! To every single girl: please check it out at the library. There's an awful lot of eye-opening thoughts in there.
     

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