Kiss on cheek...

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Lovetoteach15, Jan 19, 2014.

  1. Lovetoteach15

    Lovetoteach15 Rookie

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    Jan 19, 2014

    I have an affectionate bunch of students in my classroom and a couple times this year I have gotten a kiss on the cheek when giving one of my little ones a hug. I am a hugger and do not turn those away but the kisses have taken me by surprise. Clearly it is an innocent act, but what do you feel is the appropriate response when this happens? Personally I know they mean nothing by it, however I guess in this day and age you can never be too careful...
     
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  3. Go Blue!

    Go Blue! Connoisseur

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    I would explain to them that they can't kiss you. I would not let any student kiss me regardless of how innocent.

    Mind you, I teach older kids, but I don't even like kids hugging or touching me at all. I don't trust it.
     
  4. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    Thankfully with the third graders, the most I ever get is a hug. In your case, I'd say something to the effect of, "you should save that for family."
     
  5. otterpop

    otterpop Aficionado

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    This can be tricky, too, because in some cultures this is socially acceptable. (I don't know about with teachers though). Most people know that this is common practice in Europe, but when I was studying abroad in central Mexico, it was a common greeting there too. I would respectfully explain that we don't kiss at school.
     
  6. AdamnJakesMommy

    AdamnJakesMommy Habitué

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    What grade is it? If it were kindergarten or first grade, I would let it go. 2nd+ I would tell them that while I appreciate it, let's save kisses for mom and dad and just give me hugs.
     
  7. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    Maybe it's being a man around children, but even with kindergarten and 1st graders, I'd kindly but firmly put a stop to it.
     
  8. i8myhomework

    i8myhomework Comrade

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    Agreed. K-1st is a kissy bunch. Comes with the territory. I would just let it go. If you are still uncomfortable just tell them no kisses and maybe offer a hug instead.

    Regardless, try to instill that while touch (hugs and kisses) is a great thing, there is a time and a place for it. If you decide that place is not in your classroom let them know sooner rather than later.
     
  9. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    I knew a teacher once who would tell the kids to kiss their hand, then give them a high five or fist bump. This was a few years ago though. I would just tell them from the get-go that it was handshake or high five.
     
  10. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    While I don't think there is anything actually wrong with a kindergarten student innocently giving his or her teacher a quick kiss on the cheek, I understand it may be best to address it. I might just say, "Aw, thank you. You better save those kisses for home, though." Or maybe a thank you but mention germies? I would NOT make the child feel bad about it, and I think that's important.
     
  11. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    I am uncomfortable with it and tell my kids. I live in Costa Rica and you give "kisses" when you greet someone, but it's basically just putting your cheek against their cheek and making a kissy noise. You do not get lips planted on your cheek. So when I have a kid who does that (I have one in 4th grade who really likes to try to push the boundaries like this) I tell them right away "that's not okay".
     
  12. Jerseygirlteach

    Jerseygirlteach Groupie

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    I know how you feel. My students don't kiss but they are frequently grabbing me in hugs. Sometimes, they grab in the wrong places! :eek:

    Tell them that we don't kiss because it spreads germs. This way you won't be hurting feelings.
     
  13. Lovetoteach15

    Lovetoteach15 Rookie

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    I teach 2nd. I also don't want to hurt their feelings and usually mention something about germs as many suggested...even the mention of germs doesn't phase one of my kids though!
     
  14. SF_Giants66

    SF_Giants66 Cohort

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    What exactly are the boundaries on hugging anyway? Do people think of a male teacher hugging students differently than a female teacher doing it?


    I was babysitting an 8 year old boy that would frequently jump up in my arms and kiss my cheek. He was very touchy feely and I was friends with his parents so I didn't mind, but if it was a school setting I would ask students to keep more boundaries on physical touching.
     
  15. Go Blue!

    Go Blue! Connoisseur

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    Yes, I believe they do. It does not matter the teacher's or student's intent - all that matters is perception.
    I teach MS and HS and I do not allow students to hug or touch me (I'm female).

    Our male teachers are very careful about touching students or even commenting on their clothes as anything can be taken out of context. I teach at a uniform school, but our girls often wear skin tight pants, neon-colored bras under their white school polos, and other things that are against school policy. Some male teachers do not even feel comfortable mentioning these violations to students and will ask a female teacher to do so.

    I've seen instances where male teachers brush up against a student and the girl claims that he was trying to do something inappropriate. The girls are always joking (unless they want to get the teacher in trouble) and think its funny to joke about things like this, but that can be someone's job.
     
  16. SF_Giants66

    SF_Giants66 Cohort

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    Well, I doubt I would ever confront a female student about her bra or showing her boobs.

    However, I am rather sick of this stigma that there his some huge epidemic of male childcare workers out to get kids when in reality several of those people they fear are females as well.

    A lot of the hugging, horseplay, and physical type activity with children such as games and sports is more along the lines of summer camp type of behavior in my opinion anyway. I can't really ever picture myself doing anything like that in a professional teaching position, but having to worry about people getting bent out of shape over something such as a hug is pretty pathetic I think.
     
  17. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    I no longer "substitute" teach (I was never a real teacher) but female teachers used to give me hugs on a regular basis... I assumed they were just glad to see me that day :)p) ........... It really wasn't a big deal and I never reported them for any kind of "harassment."
     
  18. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    Yeah, in third grade, we tend to have kids going through growth spurts that don't have new clothes... long story short, I find myself asking female teachers quite frequently to remind my students to cover themselves up appropriately. It's just one of those places where I'm not going to go with a girl in my class though.
     
  19. SF_Giants66

    SF_Giants66 Cohort

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    Well generally I can kind of see there being more comfort in an adult of the same gender discussing that kind of issue for a student anyhow.

    I mostly just take issue with this attitude that female teachers can hug but male teachers can't. I'm not saying I plan on going around being a hug monster or anything, but I don't owe people different behavior just for being a man.
     
  20. greendream

    greendream Cohort

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    Totally agree.
     

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