Kids who never get picked

[miss-m]

This is a new one for me. I have a few kids this year who never get picked as partners, and I’m not really sure what to do about it. They won’t work with each other either, and the rest of my students get frustrated working with them. These students don’t do their share of work, a couple of them are not very socially aware so they struggle to interact kindly with others, and there are very few pairs I can make that don’t result in tears and frustration.

I don’t want them to continue being rejected and excluded, but I also don’t blame my class for not wanting to work with them. I assign partners when I can, but I also don’t want kids to feel stuck with a partner that doesn’t help or do the work.

 

[readingrules12]

That is great that you have such a huge heart towards those not included. Over the years, I have found some things that have helped me with these primary age students.

I don't allow students to choose their partners in the classroom ever. When I do, I can always see the pain of the ones without partners. Even worse it interrupts instruction. I use to allow choosing partners, but after about 15 years of teaching, I said to myself, "No more". Instead, I often randomly choose partners such as with playing cards. I have 2 of each card and just enough cards as students in the room (i.e. 24 students leave out the Kings and have 2 of each card. That equals 24 cards. Each child gets a card (or picks a card) and the 2s match up, the 3s match up etc. To save time, I might only switch partners once a week.

In your situation with your challenges, I might get a bit more creative. This takes time, but it can be the solution to your problem long term. Have each child write down the 4 students they would like to work with. With primary, I would often make copies of a class list, and give one to each student. They must first put their name on it. Then, each child puts a 1 by their first choice, 2 by their second, etc. This must be really private or it will backfire on you big time. Then during your prep time or after school, find out if there are any students that chose one of your not included students even if it is 4th. Then play match maker and secretly pair them up. I have done this and some students make their first friends by doing this.

Lastly, observe carefully the students who are not being included. Observe to find the top top 2 reasons students seem to not like working with them. Then maybe some boundaries might need to be set up. For example, if they always are talking, possibly having a rule that each time one talks, they have a colored chip. Once they put in their colored chip, they can't talk again until the other student puts in their colored chip or a variation of this.

You may have to tweak these a bit for your students and based on your knowledge of your students. Hope this helps some.

 

[pommom]

I didn't let my students choose partners either. As the previous person said, it was rough to see the students not picked. When I was in high school, I remember some classes I didn't have friends and I had anxiety when the teacher told us to find partners. Getting to know your kids helps a lot in this. There will always be some kids not happy with happy with their partner though.

 

[h2omane]

This is a new one for me. I have a few kids this year who never get picked as partners, and I’m not really sure what to do about it. They won’t work with each other either, and the rest of my students get frustrated working with them. These students don’t do their share of work, a couple of them are not very socially aware so they struggle to interact kindly with others, and there are very few pairs I can make that don’t result in tears and frustration.

I don’t want them to continue being rejected and excluded, but I also don’t blame my class for not wanting to work with them. I assign partners when I can, but I also don’t want kids to feel stuck with a partner that doesn’t help or do the work.

I used to use a sheet of paper for “Network Partners” so that they would make 10-12 sets of pairs so it is slightly random. I would write Network Partner #3 on the board so if there was a partner activity they would know who to pair up with.
You could make this with other ways like PB and J, Ham and Cheese, Toothbrush and Floss, etc, and then they would not feel so left out and get to know/work with more than just their bestie.